Twisted Summer (19 page)

But now he wanted to remove an
if.
I could, if I grew balls big enough, take away another
if
with Esmé. Suddenly, I was playing for keeps.

And for three gorgeous words that he hadn’t even said.

***

Around ten o’clock, we finally dragged our barbecued-out asses back to the lodge. Gabe plied Taylor with beer after beer, and he ended up spread-eagled and snoring on our sofa. Mum passed out in a chair. Esmé wasn’t far behind, and another of my patented massages settled her in ten minutes flat.

I brushed my teeth. Put my hair up, retouched my makeup. Slipped into a clean dress and cardigan, and out of my bikini bottoms. The clock struck midnight and in true Cinderella style, I crept out of the lodge to find Gabe leaning up against his car. No words passed between us, not even smiles; he just reached for my hand and tugged me toward the woods.

The canopy of trees made the night thick like treacle. Bracken and old twigs snapped beneath our shoes. Gabe used his phone to light our way, and we followed the trail of pale glow like pixelated breadcrumbs. My hand felt so small in his. When we reached a snug little spot with a round, flat tree stump, he pulled me against him for a cool drink of a kiss.

“I scoped this out earlier,” he whispered. “We’re in deep enough to be safe, I reckon.”

Somewhere not too far away, young voices yelled and whooped. Our party might have ended, but for some, the night was just beginning.

I shoved him down on the tree stump and giggled as I straddled his lap. Then I wound my fists into his soft caramel hair and devoured his mouth again. We could make a little noise here, could be free…only the fabric of his shorts prevented him from entering me. Stupid, stupid shorts.

“Slow down, Danni.”

“No. I’m not waiting to be interrupted again.” I dragged his hand between my thighs and gasped at the way he probed me. “See what you do to me?”

“I love how you seem to keep losing your knickers.” His face moved along my cleavage in a hot-cold cocktail of stubbly cheek and kisses, and his thumb worked at me with slow, firm strokes. I wanted to keep still and just think on how wonderful it was to have him touch me, but no use. I bucked and writhed like a puppet on strings.

“It’s more convenient.” And I knew how much he liked it. Hell, we were already wrong enough. What was a little slutty behaviour thrown into the mix? What was wrong with any of it if it felt so unbelievably good?

In a fit of need, I shoved his hand away so I could pull open the button fly of his three-quarter shorts. He twitched in my palm as I squeezed.

“God.” He struggled for breath. “Do that again.”

So I did. Hard. He moaned into our wet kiss. We both knew what the other wanted, and with a twist of my hips, we were close enough. He thrust up, I slid down, and I shoved my face into his shoulder to muffle my yelps. Two months since I’d had him inside me and it was like losing my virginity all over again. I kept trying to contract around him and with every ripple, he felt bigger. This man, his flesh, his sea-liquor smell…only he
could give me all of this.

“Good girl,” he mumbled into my neck. “You feel so fucking good.”

The world snapped in on us and everything else fell away; just me and Gabe and this spasming melt of shivers, just us and the air we stole breath after breath from as we moved.

We sped up despite our awkward position and the acid groan of my hamstrings. I turned the curve of his broad shoulder into a damp mess, exhaling and whimpering against it, hiding from a world that probably didn’t want us but suckered us into this anyway. Dark, dark, nothing and everything and
him
.

The ache of impending orgasm flushed heat through every limb, made me lighter, and I coiled and sprang on each stroke.

“Just think.” He sucked my bottom lip, let it go, sucked again. “If we went away, we could have this all.” Thrust. “The.” Harder. “Time.”

Oh—

“Gabe…please…”

“I love you.” His words were staccato, like gunfire.

“You…what?”

He barely got the sounds out between gasps. “
I love you
.”

There are all sorts of corny ways to describe orgasms. Fell off the edge, came apart, blow your load, whatever. In Gabe’s lap, I split right down the middle as a shrieking flock of shudders fell out only to sink their hungry teeth into my skin. Over and over, I trembled. Moaned his name. He kept going until my inner thighs were sticky.

“I love you too,” I said finally. Triumphantly. “Always, always.”

Still panting, I pulled his head back and kissed his mouth raw. Only when he seemed to struggle, did I pull back.

“Danni,” he hissed.

“Wha…?”

“
Danni.
”

I frowned at him. Wondered why he looked so spooked. Then it hit me like a smack around the head: a sob.

Behind us.

A great, heaving girly sob.

I shook as Gabe hurried my skirt back down. Every scrap of heat surged out of my skin, leaving ice burns that only added to the trembling.

“
Well?” She whimpered. Her voice cut a haunting path in the dark. “Aren’t you going to
look
at me?”

Gabe swallowed. Urged me around. I climbed off, paused while he tucked himself into his shorts, and closed my eyes as I turned. They were the longest five seconds of my life.

When I opened my eyes, I made out Esmé’s shape just two feet away. She wore her coat over tiny pyjamas. Next to her stood Taylor, shivering in his T-shirt. His mouth formed a thin, drawn line; if she was fury, he was empty. Blank.

“I don’t know what to say.” I’d been caught cheating…with my not-uncle. Exactly which bit of that should I panic about first?

Esmé began to weep again—full-on, shoulder-scrunching sobs. Taylor put a comforting hand on her arm and she threw it off like a bucking bull.

“Don’t you touch me!” she shrieked. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

Leaves crunched as Gabe stood. He stepped in front of me, braced for a fight.

“Esmé,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“
Sorry? You’re sorry? Oh my God.” She went to walk to me, but seemed to change her mind. “How could you, with a man? With
him
? Do you have any idea how sick this is?”

“I kno—”

“We’ve done nothing wrong,” said Gabe, his tone surprisingly steady. “Or at least, not like that. Esmé, it wasn’t Danni’s fault. It was me, I—”

“You’re her uncle!” Taylor said it so scathingly, like we were a pair of moronic contestants on a grisly morning chat show. “I mean, what the fuck?”

Adrenaline still spiked my blood and my vision; Gabe’s hand sat protectively on my hip. In the space of a few minutes, our relationship had gone from
dirty little secret
to me and him against the world. Staring at Esmé and Taylor’s horrified faces, I didn’t think we could win this one.

“You said you loved me,” Esmé spat. “People in love don’t do things like this!”

Gabe squeezed my hip. “They do.”

Oh.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. You sick fuck. I…both of you…” Her bottom lip baulked again.

“People go to prison for this stuff,” said Taylor. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Gabe gave a single nod. “Some people do. Danni and I aren’t related by blood.”

Not that it seemed to matter right now, despite the fact it could save everything.

Esmé shoved past Taylor and before I could breathe, she had my hair in handfuls, yanking it violently. The shock was electric.

“And you don’t even have the nerve to speak to me? Talk to me. Talk. To. Me!”

I squealed as she pulled at me, and it took Gabe several moments to get her off. She’d barely got her breath back before she went for him, all claws and anguished grunts. When he retreated, his arms were scored with cherry scratches.

“That’s enough! Esmé. God. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“I do.” My own tears battled through, slimy on my cheeks. I clutched my sore scalp. “Es, I’m so sorry.”

“
No, you’re not. But you will be. You
will
be.” With that, she tore off back toward the lodge, her footsteps punctuated by raw little sobs.

Taylor glanced between me and Gabe, and Esmé’s empty space. The moon hung low over the three of us.

“This is some messed up crap,” he managed, starting after her. “You better hope she doesn’t tell your Mum, Danni.”

I went to follow him, but Gabe tugged me back. If it was possible, he held me tighter than ever. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered. “I promise, we’ll make this okay.”

But the pulse that throbbed in my ears said otherwise. “You can’t promise. Not with this.”

He turned me to face him, and took my chin in his palms. “I can. I am. Fuck them all, Danni. We’ll be gone in less than a week.”

He didn’t say
because we have no choice now, because we’re not welcome here,
but the truth spiked its forked tongue at me anyway. Of course I wanted to be with him but I never realised quite how much it could cost.

“We should head back,” I said.

“Yeah.”

“Separately, in case she hasn’t told.”

“Let’s hope so.” He began to lead me by the hand.

“Or in case Taylor tells,” I added.

“He won’t.” Gabe squeezed my hand, but it didn’t help.

I pulled my cardigan around me, tried to ignore the cold, and traipsed back to the lodge to salvage what was left of my life.

Empty bed. No Esmé.

Great.

I couldn’t find her anywhere. Mum was still drooling in the easy chair, her snores and snorts peaceful. Mine and Esmé’s bed was unmade, which was unlike her…she left in a hurry. How the hell did she and Taylor know to come looking for us? It was obviously what they were doing. I mean, how had they even been conscious enough? They were passed out when we left.

Gabe stood outside his bedroom, his arms folded, gray eyes low. I peered out to shrug at him.

“Not there,” I mouthed.

He gestured over his shoulder, as if to suggest we look for her. I shook my head. Taylor wouldn’t let her get into any trouble, and she evidently didn’t want to talk to me. I checked around before blowing Gabe a kiss; he caught it, bit his lip, and mouthed
I love you.

Then I climbed into bed, and insomnia’s sweaty fist leered down to squeeze. Exhaustion threatened after three nights of broken trysts, but no rest for the wicked.

Story of my life.

***

Somebody was rattling drawers. Throwing clothes about in little swishes. How inconsiderate—couldn’t they see I how tired I was?

The somebody battled tears; she whimpered and snarled at every object she threw into her suitcase.

Esmé’s suitcase.

Que?

FUCK.

I lunged to sit up, and a hard can of deodorant smacked right off my forehead mid-flight. Esmé winced as I yelped, but then the robotics took over again and she went back to packing.

“My dad’s picking me up in a few hours,” she hissed.

“Oh, Es. Don’t leave.” Because staying would make everything so comfortable…but what was I meant to say?

“
You really think anything you say can make up for what I saw last night? You think I want to be anywhere near you and
him?
”

“I’m sorry.” My voice trembled. Tears stung as they welled in their ducts, as I rubbed the emerging lump on my head. “I never meant for any of this.”

“Yeah. Looked like it.” Her makeup bag landed in the suitcase with a clatter.

“Where’ve you been? I…I was worried.”

“Bollocks, were you. And I was with Taylor. Turns out he’s good for something.”

I glanced between dishevelled Esmé, and the door. “
With him
, with him?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She sniffed. “Not all of us are just playing at being gay, Danni.”

“That isn’t fair.”

“Oh yeah. What was I thinking, offending your sweet, innocent sensibilities? The way I’m talking, anybody would think I saw you fucking your uncle!” she shrieked.

“Jesus! Keep it down!”

“Wouldn’t want anybody knowing that, would you?” She slammed the suitcase shut, panting as she locked the clasps. “Your filthy. Little. Secret.”

My forehead still stung. Esmé hauled her suitcase off the bed and yanked the door open.

“
I’m going back to Taylor’s. If you so much as knock on the door, I’ll tell everyone about Gabe. Everyone.” She turned to look at me. Her eyes were ringed in pink, her nose red, her fingernails scraping along the plastic handle in nervous snares. “You’ve ruined everything.
Everything
.”