Two Sides to Every Story (Love Spectrum Romance) (22 page)

“Are you sure it’s her that you love and not the drawers?”

Raphael’s hand was across the table so quickly that he surprised Adrian and himself. He applied pressure at the base of the man’s elbow and saw his eyes smart from the pain. “If you ever speak disrespectfully about your sister again you won’t have to worry about what will happen to you. I’m telling you, I’m going to kick your ass. Do we have this straight?” He applied a bit more pressure for good measure before releasing his grip.

Raphael watched as the group of men that had been eyeing them moved forward. Adrian held up a finger and the men stayed where they were, though their glares turned more vicious. Raphael didn’t give a damn. He was not going to stand for anyone disrespecting his angel. Not even her brother.

“Your sister and I are not seeing each other any longer,” Raphael explained through clenched teeth. “She is loyal to you, no matter what you think. The idea that I might have done something to hurt you is something that she can’t live with or forgive. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“You think I’m going to tell her to be with you or give her my blessings, keep dreaming.” Adrian laughed with a brittle coldness.

“I know that you’re not going to do anything that might bring your sister or anyone else any happiness, because you’re selfish. I also know you’re not telling her the truth, and she needs to know that. If you want her to keep helping, she probably will, but at least tell her the truth. How do you think she’s going to feel when she finds out that you betrayed her, you, her big brother, the one she gave up love for?”

“So this is about the two of you?”

“Like I said, it’s about her. Tell her the truth. If you don’t want to lose her respect, tell her the truth. For God’s sake, give her a choice as to whether to keep helping you. Don’t lie to her.”

“I think I see what happened. You lied to her and got caught.” Adrian laughed loudly. “Now you want me to help fix your blunder. Forget it. I told her not to go out with you in the first place. She should have listened. I don’t think either of you hear very well. Maybe I should
habla Espanol?
”

Raphael didn’t know how much longer he could stand being in the prison. Already his head was pounding and Adrian was bugging the hell out of him.

“Were you even beaten?”

“I had bruises.”

“So did a lot of cops.”
God, what a smart ass
, he thought. “Look, were you beaten by the cops?”

“What difference does it make? I’m in here.”

“It makes a difference if your sister is doing this and nothing ever happened to you, at least not at the hands of the police. Do you know she hates the entire department because of you?”

“The entire department?” Adrian said with a sneer.

“She doesn’t trust the police, and a lot of that distrust came from what you told her.”

“You mean that she doesn’t trust you.”

“This isn’t about me. I just don’t think it’s fair that she distrusts the entire department because of a lie that you told her,” Raphael said, not daring to admit how much that knowledge hurt him. He was a policeman, so she didn’t trust him.

Raphael heard the sound of a child screaming and rose immediately. He scanned the room and only noticed kids at play. Yet he continued to glance around for a child being hurt.

“You’re a bit skittish, aren’t you?”

Raphael felt the cords of his neck muscles straining and he forced himself to sit back down. “This is no place for kids,” he said in distaste as he looked around again and saw the room filled with children of all ages.

No wonder he didn’t get any respect from the little kids. They were more than likely being fed the same malarkey that he’d been feed when he was a kid. Cops were the bad guys.

“This is no place for anyone,” Adrian answered softly.

Raphael looked at the man seated across from him. Something was different, a softer version of the hardened gang banger, which was precisely what he believed Angela’s brother was.

“I agree,” he said, “this isn’t a place for anyone.” Then more softly he added, “I would be afraid for my sister to come here so often.”

“She’s not coming as much as she used to, not in the last few months. Not since she became involved with you.”

“She loves you. You’re her big brother.”

Adrian was now glaring at him, making Raphael believe that the one glimpse of something good in him had been merely a mirage. The man had returned to the coldness; his eyes reminded Adrian of the iced topaz of his angel’s eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me about my sister. She was family long before she ever met you, and she will be long after she’s forgotten about you. Who do you think you are, coming in here telling me about my family? I know my sister loves me. I didn’t need you to tell me that, fool.”

“Too bad you don’t love her the same way.” Raphael stood and looked down at the man before shaking his head. “You did the crime. Be a man and do the time.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about doing time,” Adrian said, rising from his seat.

“There are a lot of ways a man can do time,” Raphael answered. “Being locked away in here is the easiest.” He laughed softly, knowing that the man he was talking to didn’t understand.

When your very soul is a prisoner, that’s doing time the hard way. I’d take this any day,
he thought, knowing that he meant it, knowing that he couldn’t change the world.

He took another look around the immense room before he walked out. He saw several children dropping coins into the vending machines and his gut twisted. He looked around for the guards. At least they seemed more vigilant. Raphael walked back the way he’d come, barely noticing the guard escorting him out.

He was now assailed by memories as he walked out the doors of the prison and got into his car. As he drove away the memories continued. His parents taking him to visit his uncle, his favorite uncle, how each visit his uncle would slip away with him for a minute or two. The first time nothing had happened; he’d simply given him money for the vending machine and had introduced him to some of the other men.

Raphael couldn’t remember when the visits had changed or when his uncle had begun touching him, making him feel dirty. He hadn’t known how to tell his father. He’d simply begged not to go and had been told it was his family obligation to visit his relatives in prison.

His mother had even quoted the passage from the bible, the instance when Jesus asked how many had visited him in prison.
“
Of course you must go, you want to be a good boy
,”
his mother had said. “You were given the name of an angel, an archangel with the power to heal. You must go.”

And he’d gone and the day had come when his uncle had gone farther than he’d ever gone before and he’d fondled Raphael and held him tight when he’d squirmed to get away. In some way he’d enjoyed the feeling, yet deep inside he’d known it was sick and twisted and he hated himself for liking it. And he hated his uncle for doing it.

His uncle had laughed at him and told him that on his next visit he would teach him more. Then he’d shoved more coins in his hand and told him to go to the candy machine and buy something and he had. Raphael could remember stuffing the candy bars into his mouth one after the other until he puked and his mother scolded him and finally took him out of the prison. His uncle’s laughter had rung in his ears all the way home.

It was that laughter that Raphael heard now. And it was his father’s tears that he saw in his mind as he remembered the next visiting day.

Raphael had threaten to kill himself if he was forced to go. His mother had gone alone and his father had stayed at home with him, taking a strap to his behind for being disobedient and disrespectful. Somehow in the middle of the beating the words had come out. Raphael had told his father what had happened.

He’d cried, wondering if that meant he was a fag. His father told him no. He’d told his father everything except the fact that he’d enjoyed it. He even told him that his uncle had given him money and that was what he’d used to buy the candy bars.

His father had wanted to go to the prison and kill his brother. Only Raphael’s begging him to keep his secret had stopped him. Within a week his father had moved them clear across the country, from California to Chicago, and he’d never told his mother what had happened. And when word came to his father that his brother had died in prison, his father had spit on the letter and burned it. He’d told Raphael that it was over. He’d said that Raphael had nothing to worry about anymore; God had taken care of his uncle.

Raphael sighed and for some reason thought of Nellie’s question to him months before when she’d read his fortune and told him that he was going to meet a woman that he would love with his whole heart. She’d told him that he needed to reclaim his soul and he’d wondered if he even had a soul.

He’d kept the memories buried so long that with them he’d also buried a part of himself, afraid of what he might find. Nellie had advised him to bring his soul into the light. He wished now he’d listened more carefully to her words. He would have run like hell to get away from it all.

Chapter 24

The call went out and Raphael responded. Chaos and pandemonium reigned. He saw the crowd advancing on several officers, shouting at them. Raphael ran toward the crowd and began talking rapidly, hoping that speaking Spanish would curtail what he felt in his bones was going to happen anyway. It wasn’t a language barrier problem. It was a cop against crime problem.

“Rafe, look out,” a shout rang out.

Without thinking Raphael dropped to the ground and rolled, pulling his gun from his holster as he did so. Tony, his partner, was in the line of fire and about to take a bullet that was meant for him.

Raphael hesitated a fraction of a second, remembering a similar night two years in the past, remembering Angela thinking he was a dirty cop. Then he pulled the trigger. His aim had been low, as he’d intended, wounding the leg of the man who’d tried to kill both him and his partner. The shot had been enough to cause the man to scream out in pain, dropping his gun as he reached for his leg. Within seconds several officers were on the man, taking him into custody.

And no, they were not gentle. Why should they be? The man had had a gun; he’d tried to kill them. Raphael spit. He was angry with himself for having doubted his motives. He’d done nothing wrong tonight. And he’d done nothing wrong when the gang fight had occurred with Angela’s brother. He was what he’d always been.

A cop.

And a damn good one at that.

Raphael finished up and headed back to the station. There was paperwork that needed to be done and as always he had to talk to the commander. He’d shot someone; it would be investigated.

He turned in his weapon and received another. He didn’t worry about the investigation; he’d done what he had to do. He’d saved his partner’s life tonight, something he wouldn’t have had to do if he’d not put him in the line of fire by not being alert in the first place. That wasn’t going to happen again; he wouldn’t let it.

The moment Raphael was off duty he headed for Angela’s home. He intentionally kept his uniform on. That would stop things, should he become tempted to touch her. The ice in her eyes whenever she looked at the uniform would be enough to keep them a safe distance apart.

He’d made up his mind that he was going to give her what she needed to leave the neighborhood. If she needed to see Teresa Cortez, then he’d take her as close as he could get, but he wouldn’t leave her thinking that her brother’s side was the only side. When this day was over she would know it all.

* * *

Raphael rapped on Angela’s door and waited impatiently for her to answer. He ignored her look of surprise when he entered, ignored the way his flesh jumped in his pants. He ignored the pounding of his heart and the memories of her moaning his name when they made love. He would also ignore how much he loved her and wanted to take her in his arms.

Keeping her safe was more important than loving her. He had checked the story the woman had told him and he was worried. He was determined to do everything he could to make Angela leave the neighborhood. He was determined to keep her safe or die trying. When the thought came to him, he knew it was true.

“What’s wrong?” Angela asked. “You look so angry.” She stepped away, eyed him up and down, knowing that he’d come deliberately from work to prove a point to her.

But the vicious look on his face scared her. He’d never glared at her in that fashion before. It was as though he hated her. Her heart seized in her chest and she licked her lips. She didn’t want Rafe to hate her. Even if they couldn’t be together, she didn’t want that.

Why was she forever making the wrong moves, waiting too late to do the things that she should? She’d agonized over being shunned by her family and being thought a traitor, over right and wrong. Now she knew she was wrong and so was her family.

She’d decided that she had to tell Rafe as much as she could about what was happening. She should have called him before he showed up at her door in such a foul mood. Maybe then she could have convinced him how much she truly loved him.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Raphael began. “You’ve been messing with my head for months now. I wish the day I met you I had just ignored the fact that you were driving like a bat out of hell. I wish I had left it up to another officer to stop you.”

“Rafe, I’m sorry about everything that happened but I think if you listen to me we can fix it. Just give me a chance to explain.” She walked up to him and attempted to put her arms around his neck but he pushed her hands away.

“No, Angel, not this time.
Yo
s
oy un hombre, no une nino.
” He glared at her, knowing he’d spoken too fast. She couldn’t possibly know what he’d said. “
Yo
s
oy un hombre,
Angel,
no une nino,
” he repeated more slowly. When he saw that she still didn’t understand, he repeated it for a third time. “I’m a man, Angel, not a boy.”

“I know you’re a man,” Angela whispered.

“You don’t act like it. But it’s my fault for letting you get away with it. I love you.” He glared at her. “But I’m not going to let you beat up on me for everything that you think is wrong in your little world. I want you out of my life.”

“Rafe, I don’t want to be out of your life. I’ve been miserable. Just hear me out.”

“You’re not calling the shots any longer. I am.”

“Let me explain,” Angela tried again.

“No, Angel. No explanations. We broke up, remember?” he frowned. “But then like you said, I don’t even know if we were ever together. We were sleeping partners. Isn’t that what you said?”

“Rafe, no, it’s not what you think.”

She took in a deep breath. “You think I left you because I didn’t love you. You’re wrong. I couldn’t stand looking at you and your family, knowing what I knew. It’s my fault that you were shot. We both know it. You saved me.”

“Do you think I would rather it had been you than me? If that’s what you think, then you don’t know me at all.”

“No, that wasn’t what I meant. If we’d never been together this wouldn’t have happened. If I hadn’t picked a fight with you in the restaurant…” She stopped short of telling him about her brother’s threat, wishing that she could, but not knowing how.

“You didn’t pull the trigger.”

“But I’m the cause. We’ve talked about this before. I heard what those men said. You heard them,” she said softly.

“We don’t need to rehash it,” he said, interrupting her, still trying to protect her, he realized. Sure, he knew her brother was involved. He hadn’t come here to put her in the position of choosing between them. And he didn’t want her to love him because she felt guilty for her brother’s actions.

“I came here for one reason only,” Raphael continued. “I’m going to help you with your damn investigation. We’re going to put an end to this nonsense. I’m going to take you to get the information that you need. After that you leave Pilsen.”

He moved even farther away from her, turning in order to say the next words, the things he really didn’t mean but the things that he thought necessary.

“I don’t ever want to see you again. I never asked for a woman in my life. I never wanted one. You’ve screwed me up so that I’ll doubt my every move now, wondering how you’d look at my actions. It’s bad enough that I’ve almost gotten myself killed twice. Now I’m endangering the lives of other officers because I’m too busy thinking about you.”

“Did something happen to you? Were you shot again?” she asked, her eyes growing as large as tea cups. Fear gripped her and she shook but tried to hide her reaction from Rafe.

He stared at her, not missing the quavering in her limbs. He knew she was worried about him and it tore at him. He’d come to end her worries, not increase them.

He took a good look at her, noticing something that he’d missed before. There was more going on than her worrying about what he’d just told her. There was a fear in her eyes that had been there before he’d even opened his mouth. He’d just been too angry when he’d come in the room to take much notice of it.

Raphael wanted badly to hold her, find out what was wrong. Instead, he backed away before answering her. “Yeah, something happened, Angel. I almost got my partner killed. First, I wasn’t focused; then I hesitated before I took the shot.”

“You had to shoot someone?”

“Yes, does that make me a dirty cop?”

“Stop, Rafe.”

“Stop,” he laughed. “You want me to stop? Angel, you don’t have the right to request anything of me.”

“I don’t know what happened with your partner, Rafe, but you have no right to blame me. I didn’t do anything. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about us, about your not telling me what the hell is going on. My life is on the line every day that I go to work. I can’t afford to worry about your not trusting me. I’m no good for myself and I’m no good for the officers I work with, not like this. So we’re going to end it for good today.”

He stopped and looked at her feet. “Put some shoes on. I’m going to take you to get your answers.”

Angela was angry. Rafe wasn’t making any sense. He didn’t blame her for the things she felt responsible for, for his getting shot, but he blamed her for a shooting which she didn’t even know about. He was angry, she acknowledged that much. Still, he was behaving irrationally.

When she’d heard his voice so ragged and filled with pain, she’d thought of telling him then and there that she still loved him. But he was being so damn stubborn. He was so determined not to be hurt. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t care about finding information, that all she wanted was him. But all of that would have been a lie and he would have known it.

Curiosity got the better of her and she went for her shoes. She couldn’t afford to let any information that could help her find a way to protect Rafe and his family be tossed away simply because he was being too stubborn to let her in. And this time the information she sought was to keep Rafe safe, not to get Adrian out of prison. It would do no good to tell him that, he wouldn’t believe her. If she were honest, she couldn’t blame him. She’d shut him out also.

Angela glanced at him as she slipped the shoes on her feet. She caught the quick look of desire that darted across his face. Then his look changed to something more. Love mixed with fear. She realized suddenly that the fear was for her. Rafe loved her still or he wouldn’t be there. She’d tell him later that she loved him, when he was in a mood to listen to her.

* * *

“Where are we going?” Angela asked after they’d been driving for over fifteen minutes. They were on the Eisenhower Expressway and regardless of Rafe’s hesitance to talk with her, she wanted to know where he was taking her.

“Rafe, answer me. I know you’re a cop but I am not under arrest.” She smiled to herself as he rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth.

“You wanted answers,” he said finally. “Like I said, I’m taking you to get them.”

“But where? I have a right to know.”

Raphael settled himself into the seat more firmly, glanced out his window, then glared at Angela. “I’m going to show you what you’ve been risking your life for.”

When they exited Angela wasn’t sure where they were. She thought it was Oak Park, but couldn’t be positive. She attempted to look for markers but Rafe turned off the main road before she could spot what she was looking for.

“Get out,” he ordered, not coming around to open the door.

“
Sagana
,” she hissed loudly and got out of the car.

Raphael walked up to the door, ignoring Angela calling him a jackass, and knocked. A young woman came out. He spoke to her for a few seconds while Angela stood behind him, waiting for him to tell her what he’d said.

He didn’t.

Another woman came to the door and again Raphael purposefully talked to her in Spanish, leaving Angela out of the conversation.

“I thought you said you would tell me what the conversation was about if you couldn’t speak in English?”

He turned quickly, glaring at her. “That was before. I thought you weren’t going to call me names anymore. Looks like we both lied.”

Raphael took a step away from her. If he didn’t he would be tempted to give in to the dictates of his heart. When the door opened again a man and woman came out together. “Jose Gomez, this is a friend of mine,” he said, pointing at Angela, not giving her name, needing still to protect her, just in case. “She’s a freelance reporter and she’s writing a story of corruption. She wants to bring down the Chicago Police Department.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not kidding,” Raphael answered, “and talk in English. I promised her there would be no secrets.”

An air of hostility buzzed around them. Angela knew it was because of Rafe telling them that she was there to bring down the cops. Evidently they were friends of his and wondered why, being a cop, he was helping her. She could tell they didn’t think it made any sense. Neither did she. If he thought this was helping she would hate to see his idea of hindering.

“Go ahead, miss, ask your questions,” Jose said.

“Do you know where Teresa Cortez is?”

“Yes, she’s my cousin.” He stopped talking, glanced at her empty hands, then at Raphael. “Where is your notebook?”

“She’s good,” Raphael butted in. “She has excellent memory. Besides that, she has a recorder in her purse.”

Angela almost stuttered. “Where is she…Teresa, I mean?”

“She went to Mexico.”

“Are you sure? How do you know it’s not a lie? Do you have proof?”

“My mother just came here one week ago and she saw her there. My mother has no need to lie,” Jose said angrily. “Why do you want Teresa? Is the money she’s spending yours?”

Bingo
, Angela thought, and made a determined effort not to gloat. “Why did she go to Mexico?”

“She was dating this guy. Her brother and this guy had this deal going and the guy screwed him.”

“What sort of deal?”

“Fakes, knock-offs. The dude went to New York a few times. Somehow he managed to convince Manuel to come in with him for the money he needed. I don’t know how he managed to convince him to work with him but he did.” Jose laughed. “How they managed to work together at all without someone getting killed is a real mystery.”