Two Sides to Every Story (Love Spectrum Romance) (21 page)

“Do you know Teresa Cortez?” He saw the expression on her face, saw her blink, yet she said not a word. It hurt that she didn’t trust him with that information.

“Don’t play games with me.” He stalked over to her. “What the hell have you gotten yourself into?”

“I told you I came to help my brother.”

“How?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why?”

“Rafe, you’re a cop.”

“I thought I was more than that to you.”

“Rafe…I…I…I can’t tell you.”

“What you’re doing is dangerous. You can get hurt, Angel.”

And so could he
. Her brother’s words rang in her ear. The thought of anything more happening to Rafe or his family was more than she could stand. Angela swallowed several times trying to stop herself from crying, from just throwing herself into Rafe’s arm and telling him everything. She glanced toward the window, wondering if someone was watching him even now, wondering if he’d be safe when he left her apartment. She felt the tremble of fear and hugged her arms around her body. She had to keep Rafe safe.

“Leave, Rafe, this isn’t going to accomplish anything.”

“I want to know what you’re doing out on the streets. What name are you using when you’re pretending to be a reporter?”

“This is Chicago, Rafe, getting false identification has never been a problem.”

“Angel, don’t you think I know that? But think about this, Angel. Eventually, everyone gets caught. Look at the truck driver scandal. Even Governor Ryan had to answer for the phony driver’s licenses. The department has busted thousands of people using fake driver’s licenses. I know they’re out there. I’m asking you what name you’re using.”

“You can’t afford to know all the things I’m doing, and I can’t afford for you to know. It’s your job…” she sighed. In a way it was his job. Adrian had him shot because of it. She wasn’t going to give her brother the opportunity to kill him. She intended to do just what her brother said, get the information on Teresa and get the hell out of Pilsen. All she had to do was that and Rafe and his family would be safe.

“My job?” Rafe glared at her. “Do you think I came here because of my job?”

“I don’t know,” Angela lied.

“You still don’t trust me, do you, Angel?”

Silence.

He ground his teeth together, sighing audibly as his eyes closed. How the hell did he make her understand this was not just about loyalty to her family, this was about her life?

Before he knew it he was holding her arms. He’d sworn not to touch her ever again, but now he was. He wanted to shake some sense into her. He wanted to kiss her. He did neither.

“Your damn brother is going to get you killed.”

Her eyes darkened and he thought she was going to cry. He knew she was remembering what had almost happened. He pressed on, “And that bullet was from his homies. What the hell do you think is going to happen when someone that doesn’t like you well enough to call you a bitch comes looking for you. What if someone wants some payback and you’re it? What if Teresa Cortez’s brother wants revenge?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Maybe not,” Raphael answered with disgust. “But I don’t think you know either. There is something more going on here, something that I’d be willing to stake my life on that your brother didn’t tell you.”

He yanked her hand and placed it on his chest. “I’d say I’ve already put my life on the line.”

“No one is after me,” Angela said softly. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And neither do you,” she countered.

“I know this entire thing doesn’t feel right to me. I want you out of the neighborhood. Go back to Naperville. You don’t belong here. You’re only going to get yourself killed if you stay in Pilsen.”

“I can’t leave until I finish what I started. It’s too late for me to just walk away.” Angela continued to argue.

“Then you might be leaving here in a body bag.”

“I don’t care as long as…” Tears filled her eyes, and she longed to tell him that as long as he was safe, it wouldn’t matter what happened to her. One tear fell and she wiped it away. He’d had a fit when she’d tried to buy him dinner. She could just imagine his reaction if he knew she was attempting to save his life. “I don’t care,” she repeated.

“Damn you, Angel. I care.” He grabbed her and kissed her long and hard, ignoring her struggling. “I care, don’t you understand? I care. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Angela was crying. “I can’t leave, Rafe, not yet.”

“I want you out of this neighborhood. I want you to go back to Naperville where you belong.”

“If you want me gone, then maybe you can help me. If you hear anything about Teresa Cortez, just tell me where to find her. I just need to talk to her. I can’t leave until I talk to her.”

Angela was shivering; at least that much of what she was saying was true. If she wanted to keep Rafe’s family alive she would do exactly what her brother said. And she couldn’t allow the fact that she might be putting her own life on the line to dissuade her.

“Do you know this whole thing may just be about money, no dirty cops, just some drug money? Your brother is not innocent. Open your eyes, Angel. Why is he having you look for this woman? Why put you in a Spanish neighborhood playing at being a reporter? I told you before that you were going to get into trouble. And you don’t have the slightest idea why. You’re just going blindly along, not even bothering to question the bull that your brother has given you. You’re a smart woman. Why don’t you at least act like it?”

“He’s my brother.”

“He’s going to get you killed.”

“No he’s not,” she said
. He’s going to get you killed if I don’t do what he says, you and your family,
she thought. She couldn’t let it happen
.

Raphael backed away; there was no need to keep repeating the same thing. She had been there when he’d been shot. She’d heard the same words he had.

He closed his eyes. If only he’d told her earlier that he’d been on the scene that night when things went down with her brother, maybe his words would carry more meaning. Maybe she would allow herself to trust him.

“I can’t leave, Rafe. I have to do what my brother asked. I don’t have a choice.”

“What do you mean, you don’t have a choice?”

“Nothing…I just meant he’s family, that’s all.” Angela couldn’t continue looking at Rafe and lying to him, so she looked away.

“Then let me help. Tell me the truth. Tell me everything your brother told you.”

“Just give me the name of the person who gave you this information. Tell me how I can contact them.”

“You’re crazy, do you know that? You’re loco. I’m not about to help you commit suicide. You want information, then you let me help you. Let me go with you to see this woman.”

“I can’t.”

“Angel, do you really believe in your heart that I’m a dirty cop?” This time her silence hurt more than the bullet that had ripped into his chest. This pain he didn’t think he’d ever get over.

“At least ask your brother for the truth. If you’re going to die you may as well know the truth of what you’re dying for. I don’t think money is worth your life, Angel,” he said and looked at her before he walked to the door.

Nothing had changed for him. He loved her still; some part of him probably always would. He’d tried again to get her to trust him, but he couldn’t force that. It had to be freely given and she didn’t want to give it.

* * *

“Oh God,” Angela moaned, rolling herself into a tight ball on the couch. She’d never known she was such a good actress, that she could say words in defense of her brother when she knew what he was, what he’d done.

She couldn’t allow anything to happen to Rafe, no matter how much she wanted him, or how much she wanted him to hold her, to protect her. He didn’t have the advantage of knowing what she knew. She had to be the one to protect him, to keep him safe. She had no other choice. She loved him too much to let more harm come to him because of her.

Chapter 23

“What am I going to do? I can’t watch her twenty-four hours a day.” Raphael ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t even know if it’s true.”

His father patted him on the shoulder as he’d done when he was a small boy.

“You did all you could. You told her to be careful, you told her to move.”

“Do you think that’s going to help me if something happens to her?”

“But you two are no longer together.”

“And you think that means I don’t still love her? I love her,
Poppi
. I can’t let anything happen to her, but she’s so damn stubborn, so independent. She thinks she can do it all on her own. I’ve been looking into this mess with her brother. I don’t know all the details but what I do know, I don’t like. From what I can tell, it’s a crazy plan. I can’t believe she went along with it. She doesn’t even know what she’s gotten herself involved in.”

“Neither do you.”

“I was thinking of going to the prison to talk to her brother, see if he could talk some sense into her or maybe he could call her out of the neighborhood. She won’t listen to me; maybe she’ll listen if he does it. He seems to be the only one she will listen to.”

His father’s face paled and Raphael knew the reason. His father was the only one he’d told about what had happened to him years earlier in the prison. His father had been the one who’d told him he had no reason to feel shame. His father had also been the one whose shoulder he’d cried on and the one who’d given him back his self-esteem.

“Raphael?”

“What else can I do?” he replied in a low voice, not wanting to cause his father worry but knowing he couldn’t leave Angela alone.

“You cannot go.”

“I have to help her.”

“You’ve never been back, Raphael. I could go to the prison and talk to her brother for you.”

“This is something that I have to do,
Poppi
.” He smiled. “I tried once. I couldn’t make myself go in.”

“You don’t have to do this, Son. You don’t have to put yourself through this. It’s not your fault if the girl won’t listen. You tried.”

“But I have to try everything. I can’t just give up. I can’t let anything happen to her.”

“She doesn’t want you, Son.”

“Don’t you understand that it doesn’t matter? I never thought I would ever fall in love. I didn’t want anyone touching me, not my heart. I’ve played it safe most of my life, just sex, casual relationships. Didn’t you ever notice when I was younger I never dated a girl more than once or twice, afraid that you hadn’t told me the truth, afraid that maybe it was my fault what had happened, that maybe I really wasn’t a man. It took a long time to let go of that,
Poppi
.”

Raphael shuddered and thought of his angel. He thought of the times he’d been to heaven with her. Any lingering doubts from his youth had all been erased in her arms. He’d given her possession of his heart and his soul. She’d made him forget his vow never to become vulnerable. His father would never understand any of that. Angela Reed was the one thing in his life that Nellie had been right about. He knew his father didn’t place much stock in Nellie and her fortune telling. Neither had he. At least he hadn’t until he’d found his soul mate, his angel. She was important to him. It didn’t matter how she felt about him. He would help her or die trying.

“Raphael, you didn’t need her in order to know that you’re a man. You’re listening to Nellie about her being your soul mate. Don’t listen to Nellie. This girl has brought you nothing but grief.”

“None of that’s true,
Poppi
. I love her. Even if she doesn’t want to be with me, I owe her. I know you don’t believe it but this time Nellie was right. Angela is my soul mate. She touched my heart, and I never thought that would ever happen to me. She made me love her and she proved to me that I am a man.”

“She also almost got you killed, and don’t forget about the fact that she almost got you fired. I think you would be better off without this girl.”

“I’m not trying to win her back.” Raphael sighed, resigned that his father wouldn’t want him to go the prison for any reason. He stared at his father for a moment and he saw the memories flare up in his father’s eyes, memories that he’d brought back with his decision.

“I’m not looking for her to change her mind about us,” Raphael offered.

“Aren’t you?”

“No,
Poppi
, I’m just trying to protect her.”

“But the prison. You don’t have to go there.”

Raphael smiled. “We both knew one day I would have to conquer that demon.”

“But you don’t have to. It’s a choice you’re making; you don’t have to take yourself back into that hellhole.”

His father was getting angry and agitated, and Raphael knew that he blamed himself for what had happened.

“It wasn’t your fault,
Poppi.
” Raphael said softly. “I’ll be okay. I’m not a little kid anymore. I can take care of myself.” He looked at his father for a long moment. “You’re right about one thing. It is a choice. And I choose to do everything I can to keep her safe. Trust me to know that I’m doing what I have to do.”

“I trust you,” his father answered.

At least there was one person he loved that trusted him. Raphael had always known his father trusted him the same as Raphael trusted his father. If he hadn’t, he never would have told, and his father would not now be looking at him with so much pain and misery in his eyes.

“I can’t just sit back and not try to get her brother to talk to her. If he loves his sister, maybe he can get her to leave the neighborhood, keep her out of danger.”

“Do you think it’s going to work?”

“I don’t hold out a lot of hope. I mean, if he was worried about her he never would have sent her into the neighbor alone.”

“Raphael, you think I don’t understand, but I do. I do understand why you have to go. I just wish that you’d let me go with you. It worries me also that you’re a cop going in there.”

Raphael laughed. “That’s the least of my worries.” He saw the frown crease his father’s face and stopped kidding. “Don’t say it,
Poppi
, I will be careful. I promise.”

* * *

The next day found Raphael repeating his journey to the prison. Regardless of what happened, he would go inside the walls and he would try and talk some sense into Angela’s brother. Then with any luck, he’d talk some sense into her.

As he neared the prison, trepidation made the pounding in his head intensify. He ground his teeth together and rubbed his forehead against the arm of his shirt.

The one place he’d avoided for most of his life loomed before him. Raphael walked into the building with sweat pouring down his body. For a moment he paused, wanting to turn around. Then he saw Angela in his mind, took a deep breath and pushed it out. She was the reason that he was going in. He had to find a way to free her.

Their lives were tied into his going inside. He needed her to trust him. He had promised that he wouldn’t push her into telling, and he wasn’t going to. But he was going to the source, he was going to talk to her brother.

A shiver traveled down Raphael’s spine and disgust filled him. Heads turned in his direction and he wondered if they knew he was a cop. No way, it was impossible.

Rafe gave his name and told the guard who he wanted to see. Then he sat down and waited, rubbing his hands down the legs of his pants. He tried to not let his disgust overcome him. He’d joined the rank of the criminals; he’d paid someone to put his name on Adrian Reed’s list of visitors. Now he had to wait to see if curiosity would make the man come. Then again, Raphael figured, if nothing else, Angela’s brother should at least want to get at look at the man he’d tried to have killed.

His eyes scanned each man that came to the point of contact, looking for something of his angel in each one. At last a man came that he knew without a doubt was her brother.

His eyes met Adrian Reed’s and Raphael stood.

“You’re the cop?” Adrian asked.

“I am.” Raphael answered, not giving a damn that several people stared at him and whispered. “Yeah, I’m the cop,” Raphael repeated again. “And I’m here to talk to you.”

He saw the man smirk, knew he was sizing him up. He didn’t care. He was here now. He followed behind Angela’s brother and the guard to the meeting area and Raphael willed himself not to remember, not to think. He sat down at the table, forcing the muscles in his face to become hard. He couldn’t allow himself to feel a damn thing in this place. He couldn’t let the slightest weakness show.

Raphael knew about this place; he’d been in a dozen prisons in his earlier years, forced by his parents to visit uncles and cousins. Raphael’s eyes closed and he swallowed. That had been a long time ago. He snapped his eyes open and looked around, surprised that for even a nanosecond he’d let his guard down enough to let them close.

“You tried to have me killed,” he said without hesitation.

“You don’t look dead,” Adrian answered.

“I said you tried.”

“Do I look like I’m in a position to do anything?”

Adrian laughed softly and looked around the room. Before he even opened his mouth Raphael knew he was going to come out with a smart-ass comment.

“Look around you.” Adrian pointed with his index finger toward Raphael’s chest then jerked it back. “This is a prison. I don’t get day passes.”

Raphael looked at a group of rough-looking Black men that were eyeing them sharply, making it obvious, not caring that Raphael saw them. “Those thugs, they work for you?” he asked.

“I don’t have a payroll.”

“You’re a real smart-ass, aren’t you?”

“Look, you came in here to see me. I guess that means you have all the answers.”

“Did you know they wanted to kill your sister?” Raphael watched for some sign of emotion.

None.

“Whatever, man. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Raphael was tired of playing games. “The men that you sent to shoot me wanted to waste your sister. Did you know that?”

“Hey, I just saw my sister a few days ago. She looked fine to me, no bullet holes. But if someone wants to shoot at the two of you, why are you bringing it to me? You’re the big cop, why don’t you take care of it?”

Adrian Reed’s attitude was annoying the hell out of Raphael. He couldn’t wait until he was done with the man and was on his way home. He bit his lip for a moment, glaring at the man seated in front of him before deciding on a different tactic.

“You told your sister I beat you. You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t have to know you. I can tell you this much: She’s been my sister for a lot longer than you’ve been screwing her.”

Raphael jumped from the table so violently that a guard came over. Half the room turned in their direction. The guard whispered to him and he sat back down.

“Man, did you think that was going to impress me?” Adrian asked with a smirk.

“How can you talk about your sister that way?”

“What do you mean? Tell the truth, you are screwing her.”

“You say that again and I’ll going to smash you in your face,” Raphael growled low in his throat.

“Good, then you’ll be in here with me,” Adrian laughed, “and you’ll still get to screw, only this time it won’t be my sister.”

Just like that the veil was pulled away and all the memories he’d shoved away came rushing in. Raphael could feel the fear he’d felt then. His nerve endings were trembling and when he looked at his hands, he saw the outward flutter there also.

“What’s wrong?” Adrian asked.

Angela’s brother was deliberately going for the jugular. Raphael was aware of that. He was also aware that he couldn’t let Adrian’s words get to him.

“Is that really what you want? Do you like boys?” Adrian laughed and continued until the sound itself was deafening. “Wait until I tell my sister. That should end any idea she has of being in love with a cop.”

Raphael thought of all the prison visits he’d been forced to make. He thought of his uncle’s hands on his body, between his legs, feeling him, rubbing him, giving him dimes for the candy machine not to tell, to keep the secrets, telling him that it was the fault of the cops, that if it wasn’t for them he wouldn’t be there. It was all the fault of the cops.

Raphael’s first orgasm had happened when his uncle had fondled him in the prison, not letting him go when he’d cried out, giving him money after. And he’d spent it. The shame of that day had been buried deep within his soul.

Raphael had wanted to right a wrong when he became a cop, a wrong done to him and probably a million other children who were forced to go visit relatives in prison.

His jaw was like granite as he glared at Angela’s brother. He wanted badly to slug the man. He wanted to wipe the knowing look from his face. Raphael could feel his heart pounding rapidly in his chest.
He doesn’t know
, he repeated silently to himself. No one knew, not even his father, not about his secret fears.

“You’re willing to hurt your sister for a lie?” Raphael asked when he felt he could speak without strangling the man.

“I want out of here.”

“You’re guilty,” Raphael said with assurance.

“How do you know that?”

“I’ve been checking around. I know that it was no accident that you were in the neighborhood. And I know that you were dating one of the local girls, Teresa Cortez.”

Raphael saw a quick change come over Adrian and knew he was on the right track.

“What is it that you’ve asked your sister to do for you?”

No answer.

“She thinks she’s there to bring down dirty cops, to find someone who can prove you’re innocent.” Raphael smiled. “She won’t find anyone, will she? There is no possible way for her to find someone to say that you’re innocent. Why? Because you’re not.” Raphael stared hard at Adrian. “I’m going to tell her.”

“She won’t believe you.”

“You could be right.”

“If you believe that, then why are you here?”

“I don’t want you to take her down with you.” Raphael spoke slowly and deliberately, trying to keep the pleading from his voice.

“Why do you care?”

“I love her.”