Type (10 page)

I start to shake my head, but the look in his eyes stops me. “Maybe sometimes,” I admit.

“Yeah. Me too.” He takes another sip before putting the bottle down. “I wish I could know and then forget all about it. But knowing would change everything.”

“Yeah.” I start to pull at a thread on his bedspread. “I used to hope I wouldn’t fit any of the sixteen Types, you know? I thought the best thing in the world would be if my father and his friends tried to assess me and they found out I didn’t fit into any of their stupid categories. I mean, I’d look at everyone in my family and think,
you aren’t like any of them, not really.
I think that as long as I don’t go through the Assessment and don’t find out, I can still hope that I’m not one of them.”

“Would it be so bad if you were?”

“I dunno.” I shrug. “I just know that it didn’t go so well for my brother. One day he was arguing with my father and with his Dean about the whole reasons behind Typing and even having a sit-in at his Home School. The next day he was sent away, first to Temporary and now I guess to Full.” I look down. “I’m not really supposed to talk about him at my house.”

“But you think he’s at Harmony?”

“Yeah.” I nod, looking down. “But I don’t have any proof.” I look up again at Noah’s face. When you get beyond his sarcasm, he’s got the kindest face I’ve ever seen. “So that’s why I don’t want to know about me.”

“I get that, but I’m still curious about myself. I mean, I kind of already do know the big ones. Extraversion for sure, then Intuition. But I don’t know about the others.” He pauses. “Sometimes I think that what’s most important about me is the fact that I
don’t
know anything. Sometimes that seems kind of weird, to define yourself by all the things you’re not.”

“Do you have a migraine right now?” I suddenly ask.

“No, why?”

“Well, what’s with the drinking? I mean, I kind of get it about the headaches, but why drink right now, when we’re hanging out? Do you need to get drunk or something?”

“First of all, little girl, I don’t
need
to get drunk. I don’t need anything. Second, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, okay?”

“Okay,” I say. I watch as he takes another pull from his bottle. I kick off my shoes and lie down on his bunk. For some reason it feels softer than my bed. I like the way his blanket smells, kind of like Noah, if Noah was something you could wrap yourself up with. “You’ve still never told me why you pretended to be an ISTJ,” I say.

“To find you,” he says.

“Ha, ha. I’m serious. I mean, of all the Types to pretend to be, why ISTJ?”

Noah shrugs. “I guess I thought it would be an easy place to try and kind of…disappear for a while. After my dad died, there were so many people around our house, for way too long. Whenever I wanted to just spend time in my room in the dark, my mom pulled me back to the living room and all of the nosy, concerned women. I guess I thought ISTJ would at least give me a chance to think things through, on my own.”

“But still…”

“Hey, my reason is no worse than yours. At least I didn’t come here in order to see a boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Aaron is not my boyfriend,” I say hotly. “He’s my best friend. Or I guess you should say that he
was
my best friend. He’s not really anything anymore.” I put my hand over my eyes to try and blot out the overhead light. “Can we stop talking now?”

“My pleasure,” Noah answers. I can hear him settling into a bean bag chair on the ground. Other than the sound of his bottle being put on the floor and then lifted up again, there is silence. Silence that I didn’t ever realize I needed until I lay on the top of the bed belonging to this strange boy.
My first real friend in Secondary
,
and he’s as messed up as me
. For some reason, that idea only brings me comfort.

CHAPTER TWENTY

It is fun to have fun but you have to know how.

—Dr. Seuss

“What’s he doing
here?” Jana asks as Noah and I put our trays down on the table.

“It’s Saturday lunch,” I say. “You can eat with whoever you want on Saturday lunch.”

“I know that,” Jana says, rolling her eyes. “But with a
boy
?”

“Is there are a rule against boys and girls eating together for Saturday lunch, Jana?” Noah asks loudly.

“Fine, whatever,” she says, sticking a straw in her juice box and taking a sip.

I poke Noah in the side and he pokes me back. I like how we’re beginning to learn how to talk to each other without words, just like me and Aaron used to do.
So there, Aaron
!

“Guys, are you excited about the Lecture tonight?” Emily asks. “They haven’t posted what the topic is yet.”

“That’s because it’s a Surprise Lecture,” Jana says. “Didn’t you know that?”

“A Surprise Lecture!” Emily grins, her dimples showing. “I forgot all about those!”

“Why can’t we have a dance or a party already?” I ask. I poke at my spaghetti with my fork. It looks like it’s come straight out of a can. “My sister’s had at least ten already this year. I know that she’s an ESFP, but it’s still not fair!”

“You’d want to go to all of those parties, Sophie?” Emily crinkles up her nose. “I’d maybe go to one, but ten? Ugh!”

“And it’s not all Lectures, don’t forget,” says Jana. “There’s that day hike in two weeks. That should be fun!”

“Fun if you’re sixty and senile,” Noah snorts.

“I still think it’s totally unfair!” I say. “I mean, couldn’t we still have fun if it was a smaller party with maybe less noise? It’s not like Intros want to be alone
all
the time or anything!”

“I like birthday parties,” Emily says. “Is it anyone’s birthday soon?”

Everyone at the table shakes their heads.

“You don’t have to have a birthday to have a party,” I say. “You can just have one because you want to have one.”

“You can?” Emily crinkles her nose. No dimple.

“If you want a party so badly, why don’t you throw it yourself?” Noah asks.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jana says, rolling her eyes.

“That’s a great idea!” I say, grinning. “I should throw a party! I can have it in our Free Room!” The idea starts to build inside me, starting small and then growing bigger and bigger. I turn to Noah. “Would you come?”

“To a First Year party on a girls’ floor? Nah.” He pauses. “I could give you some stuff for it, though. Do you need any balloons?”

“And why do you have balloons?” Jana asks.

“To fill with water and throw on your head when you walk by, little girl,” he answers.

“Balloons would be great! I could make streamers with paper and staples,” I say, getting excited. “But what about food? We’d need snacks and stuff!”

“Does Ms. Williams know about this?” Jana asks. “If I were you, I’d check with her first.”

“I’m not talking about some huge, wild party. Just a little party for our floor, to do something different for once. Why would she have a problem with that?”

“You can’t use the Free Room without booking it and getting permission from Ms. Williams,” Jana reminds me. “I’d be surprised if she let you throw your wild party.”

“So I’ll use our room instead then,” I say. Emily looks at me, surprised. “It’s
not
going to be a wild party, you guys!” I say again. “Doesn’t anyone want to have any fun around here at all?”

“Will it be loud?” Emily asks.

I shake my head vigorously. “Not too loud, I promise. Just the girls on our floor and some decorations and some snacks, that’s it. Maybe some music, if anyone has a radio or something.”

“Well…”

“It’ll be fun, I promise! We can serve cookies and chips and pop and…”

“And where are you getting all of your refreshments?” Jana demands.

“I’ll get them from my house during Home Weekend,” I say. “I know that my mom will give me money for stuff if I ask her.”

Emily looks at me, then Jana, then back at me. Slowly she smiles, both dimples showing.

“Looks like you’re outvoted,” Noah says to Jana, before standing up. “It’s been fun, folks, but I’ve got to run.”

“Remember, I need those balloons!” I call after him.

“I won’t forget,” he says.

I turn back and glance at Emily, who looks like she just won a million dollars. Maybe ISTJ will end up being more exciting, after all.

gh

I come back from my Home Weekend with a suitcase filled with party supplies. To my surprise, my mother went overboard giving me decorations and snacks, as if she wanted to make something up to me. When I get to my dorm room I shut the door behind me, then open up the suitcase on my bed.

“Look, Em,” I say, gesturing for her to come over. “My mom gave me chips and chocolate bars and pop and all of these cool decorations. We can have the party this Saturday night, if we want!”

Emily shakes her head. “It’s another Lecture,” she reminds me. “It’s part of the series. No one will pick coming to a party over that.”

“Friday night then,” I say. “The point is that we’re going to show all of the ISTJers that they can like parties just as much as any of the Extras out there, just maybe ones that are a bit smaller.”

“And quieter,” Emily says.

“Yeah, I know. And quieter, too.”

Emily smiles to herself and pulls out the streamers that my mom bought. “We won’t have to make any, now!” she says. “Wait until we show Jana!”

“Um, Em, do you mind if we maybe don’t show her?” I ask. “Maybe let it be a surprise?”

“But why would we do that?”

Thoughts of my annoying roommate going directly from my suitcase to Ms. Williams’ office enter my mind, but I don’t mention them to Emily. “It’s just that I know Jana is a bit…worried about us having a party. She probably thinks I’m going to make it too big, or something. I think if we don’t tell her about it and then just let her see it when it happens she’ll understand that it’s actually a good thing.”

“Do you want me to lie to Jana?” Emily asks. I can hear the doubt in her voice and know that my dream of a party could quickly be ruined.

“Not lie!” I say. “Never lie! Just maybe don’t say anything.” I pause. “It’ll just be for a few days, okay? Jana will love it when she sees all the decorations up!”

“I guess so,” Emily says.

During the next few days I can’t stop smiling. I walk from class to class in a daze, plans for the party filling my head. While I know the party is just going to be small and not very exciting, I also know if I can get the ISTJ girls to enjoy this, then we can slowly get bigger and bigger. I mean, what kid doesn’t like a party, Intro or Extra? I can’t help but think that one of the reasons they never have parties is because they’ve been told that they don’t like them. I plan to show them they’re wrong.

On Friday after supper Emily asks Jana to go for a walk with her, as part of the plan. Once they’re out of the room, I get to work. I blow up the balloons Noah gave me as quickly as possible, tying string on each and then hanging them all around the room. I stick streamers wherever there is free wall space, getting pleasure out of covering up some of the stupid signs that have been staring at me since I arrived. Honesty, loyalty, duty.
See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya
! I then quickly rip open bags of chips and pour them into bowls I snuck out of the kitchen. I know I don’t have much time until Emily and Jana come back and I want to make things perfect.

After ten minutes, I’m ready. Now all I have to do is convince the girls on the floor to come. Shutting my door behind me, I quickly walk down the hall, poking my head into different rooms.

“I’m having a party!” I call. “Just a little one, with lots of junk food! Hurry, before it gets too crowded!”

To my surprise, almost all of the girls agree to come, following me back to my room in a perfect line. By the time Jana and Emily come back, our room is filled with girls, some sitting side by side chatting on bunks, some dancing around to music from a radio, and some taking handful after handful of chips. If any Association Psychologist came in here, they’d think that they were seeing a party full of Extras!

“I couldn’t keep her away any longer,” Emily says apologetically, as they walk into the room.

Jana looks around at all the girls, her hands on her hips. “You’re having the party without my permission!”

“Why would I need your permission?” I ask.

“It’s my room!”

“It’s my room, too, and Emily’s. And we’re just having fun, Jana. It’s just a small party, nothing much.” I take a step towards her and reach out to touch her arm. “You could have fun. Please, Jana.”

Jana looks at me, then takes a step backwards. “I’m going to report you to Ms. Williams!” she shouts. “And then you’ll be sorry!”

At the mention of Ms. Williams, someone turns off the radio and all of the girls stop talking.

“You didn’t get permission from Ms. Williams?” Heather asks.

“I didn’t think I needed it,” I say. I watch as the girls look at each other. Two jump down from Jana’s bunk and head towards the door. Three more follow close behind. “Guys! Don’t go! The party is just starting! We’re all having fun!”

A girl puts down a chip bowl and walks over to me. “It’s getting kind of loud, anyway,” she says. “I think I need some quiet time now.”

“Yeah, I think I feel overwhelmed,” says another, who had just been giggling with her friends.

“What are you talking about? You were just laughing! You were having fun! I saw you!” I can feel my face starting to flush and tears filling my eyes.
What is it with these people
?

One by one they start leaving the room, until the only people left are Emily and me. I look around at all of the decorations and the leftover food and start to cry.

Emily puts her arm around me and squeezes. “It looks like it was a nice party,” she says. “It just might have been too much for everyone.”

“It was fine, until Jana got here!” I say. At the thought of my other roommate I stop crying and wipe at my face. “Quick! Let’s clean up before she gets back!”

“But that would be lying,” Emily says.

“Do you want to get in a lot of trouble?” I ask.