Ultimate Vengeance (Wanted Men Book 4) (30 page)

As Alek’s anger slithered into a pocket in his heart and scabbed over, a cold chill swept through him that had nothing to do with the December night. How the fuck had he buried Sheppard so deep that he hadn’t even thought about him in the last couple of hours?

Maks clapped him on the shoulder. “Of course, she couldn’t come to you. It was human nature for her to want to hurt you back. I’d have fucking killed you, probably twice, for inflicting pain like that on me. I’m sorry, but as much as I love you, even I can’t make light of what you did. With a particular type of woman, I understand having to resort to something harsh to get rid of them. But Sacha? No. We know it, and so do you. You’ve
always
known it, and that eats away at you because there’s nothing you can ever do to change how hard you hit at her. Seriously, she’s fragile enough that all you had to do was tell her your feelings had died, and she’d have believed it. That’s kind of sad considering the truth is you’d give your life for hers.” He paused for a second. “Am I getting through to you? Because I’m tired of talking.”

Alek stared out at the sprawling grounds beyond the garage. They were miles from any other homes. The moon wasn’t full, but it was bright enough to bounce off the patches of snow and illuminate the area. Wandering over, he made a snowball from the fluffy white stuff hanging over the lip of the empty fountain. When he tossed it up, it rained down in a powdery mist after it hit the top tier that was shaped like a huge leaf.

“I’ve been trying not to think about the smile that was on her face when she walked into my office that night. It wasn’t her usual I’m-so-happy-to-see-you. It was different. Vibrant. It was fucking electric.” He kicked at some ice and nearly drown in the regret that rose in him. His fading anger was making room for the pain. Something he’d been trying to avoid. “Now that I know what it was about—a fucking baby, Maks—I…” He shook his head, at a loss as to how to describe how much more tragic it made something already so unbearable. “I ruined one of the most incredible moments of our lives, and I can’t change that.”

How would she have told him? What would she have said?

“All of you think Sacha is this docile, fragile little thing who can’t take what life throws at her. She’s not, you know. She’s strong, like Sydney said, and resilient. Think about it. Her parents—the only family she ever had—get killed. She grieved, and then stepped up and got past it. On her own, she moved to the other side of the world to start a new life. She hooked up with me, feared who we are, yet got past it. I fucked her over, left her pregnant and alone, yet, once again, she was getting passed that, too.”

“Careful, brother,” Maks murmured. “You make it sound as though you actually respect her.”

“I do. I respect the fuck out of her, and couldn’t have asked for a better mother for my daughter.” He shoved his hair off his forehead and turned. “That doesn’t mean I’m not fucking furious at what I mis—”

His gaze clashed with Sacha’s shocked eyes. She stood still as a statue a few feet away from a self-satisfied Maks.

“F-forgive my interruption,” she murmured as she moved to the limo. She fumbled open the door and bent to reach for something that was on the floor. Lekzi’s diaper bag was in her grip when she straightened. “The baby needs to be changed.” Away she scurried, head down, hair hiding her face, her ass looking downright edible in those yoga pants.

“You’re such an asshole,” he murmured to Maks though his attention remained on Sacha. The moonlight glinting off the caramel highlights nestled in her sable hair was gorgeous. “Sacha,” he called before she could reach the door.

She stopped on a dime and looked back over her shoulder. He felt the punch of that shy look through his entire system because it was the same one she’d given him when he’d had her bent over the table in her apartment. She’d been so wet. So ready for him. She’d have taken him and he’d have filled her body. He would have loved her so fucking hard.

“Yes, Alekzander?”

He blinked into focus to find her waiting on him while he fucked her in his head. “Nothing. Go on.” He didn’t even know why he stopped her.

Something skittered across her face, but he couldn’t identify it in the fifty feet separating them. And then she was gone.

“Asshole or not, she needed that,” Maks said in a pleased tone. “Did you see how surprised she was to hear you respect her? As the mother of your child, that knowledge should always be a given. She still has no idea how you feel about her, does she? But then, she never did.”

“I don’t know how she can’t. I haven’t killed her. Haven’t even really given her shit.”

“You two will share a bed, right?” Maks asked bluntly, as though it wasn’t the most personal of questions.

“Of course, we will.”

“Good. When the kid’s asleep, get her mother naked. Treat her dirty. Admit to her all the nasty things you’d like to do to her. Beg her to do them to you. Crack that reserve so you two can talk candidly about what happened. Syd always spills shit after sex. Says she feels connected and it’s easier for her to open up.”

“I’m not a first-timer with this, you know. I’m just wondering if we’ll get very far with the baby. Everyone always bitches about how they get in the way.” Fuckers didn’t know how lucky they were that they
had
a baby to get in the way of getting their dick wet.

“Fuck off. We have two preteens with great hearing. My woman’s exhausted.” He tilted his head to the side and looked back at the house. “Were you guys ever into BDSM? You could always bind her in a way that puts her completely at your mercy,” he suggested with a shrug as he came back around. “Then punish the fuck out of her. There are many toys and methods you can use that’ll help you gain a sense of control—I think you feel you’ve lost that—but won’t cause her too much pain. Just enough that you might feel better when you finally take her. Who knows? Might help.”

Alek shook his head and ignored the tightness entering his groin area. “She likes being handled, but I’d scare the fuck out of her if I ever tied her down to whip her.”

“I’m not saying to cane the fuckin’ girl. Just, I don’t know, use a flogger or a leather paddle or some shit. If you think you might want to give it a go, I have a fully stocked cabinet at home. Text me and I’ll tuck something useful under your pillow. But make sure you get it before Sammie changes your sheets, otherwise, we’re likely to come down for breakfast one morning and find him swatting flies with a suede-tasseled crop.” Maks pulled him toward the house. “Come on. Let’s go wake up your kid.”

“I’ll pass on the entire scenario, but thanks for that very fucked-up offer. I would suggest you don’t extend it to anyone else.”

They were chuckling when they walked into the large, well-lit foyer of the house Alek had moved into when he was eleven. The sound of their humor blended with a baby’s excited gurgle, and he was suddenly tripping over himself to get to the living room.

His daughter was wide awake and in Sacha’s arms. As he neared, she turned her soft blonde head and kicked the air from his lungs. Fascination descended. He was looking into his own eyes. Amazing. First his father, then him, and now his daughter had inherited the pale-blue eyes that ran in their family. Vasily and a distant uncle were the exception with a much darker blue.

Alek wanted to go down on the floor with her and just stare at her for hours. He wanted to listen to her babble and see her wave her arms. Kick her legs. He wanted to watch her drool and fuss and get cranky. He wanted to hold her gaze and try to communicate the instant, blinding love that now bound her to his very soul.

She blinked.

He blinked.

And then she smiled.

When he saw two bottom teeth the size of a couple of grains of rice, he was done. He held his arms out and was grateful Sacha didn’t say a word but simply handed her over. With his hand cradling her fragile head and his arm holding her sturdy little body snug, he exited through the other entrance to the living room to take his daughter for her first walk. Didn’t matter that it was only to the kitchen to grab a couple of beers, with his ear being slapped and his bowtie getting yanked on, it was most profound experience of his life.

♦ ♦ ♦

Sacha’s heart overflowed with love as she stood and stared after where Alekzander had—

They were back. In all his masculine beauty, with his dark blond hair haphazardly pushed off his forehead—and staying back—his remarkably pale eyes dazzling in their purity, Alekzander brought Maksim a beer. His daughter was wrapped securely in his strong arms.

Sacha devoured the sight of the two most important people ever to enter her life. Together at last. It was a poignant moment that touched her so deeply she knew she’d remember it forever.

“Holy shit.” Rather than take the beer, Maksim scooped the baby from her father’s arms and held her out in front of him, legs dangling. “Hello,
malishka
. Look at the little pretties staring at me. Just like your papa.” He brought her in and appeared completely comfortable tucking her into his chest. He didn’t seem to mind when his nose was grabbed. “You’re quite the little joy-bringer, kid. Wait until your
dedushka
gets home. Hundred bucks says he cries.” He held his hand out.

“Good God, that’s a sexy look,” Sydney murmured at Sacha’s elbow. Her purple eyes were bright with something Sacha completely understood.

“They do look very comfortable holding her,” she agreed as she watched the men.

Alekzander didn’t shake Maksim’s hand but put a beer in it before taking Lekzi back.

Maksim transferred the bottle to the table and left it unopened. “No time. Syd has to get to Pant, and I’m going to pass by the warehouse before I go to the loft. I want to get online and take a close look at that footage. Listen, make sure I’m around when you tell the boys tomorrow. Gotta see their reaction to this news.”

Alekzander looked amused. “Since you’ll be at home with them, and I’m taking a few days off, why don’t you bring everyone by for lunch?”

Sacha bit her lip. Did that mean she would have to take those days off too? She would have to call her families first thing and tell them she would be unavailable until further notice. For how long, though?

“Before we go,” Maksim said, stalling before he and Sydney reached the door. “What’s the kid’s name? Didn’t even think to ask.”

“Alekzandra,” her father supplied with a note of pride. “But Sacha calls her Lekzi.”

Maksim shocked Sacha by coming over and kissing both her cheeks.

“Beautiful job,” he praised softly enough that it remained between them. “Be patient while he has his tantrum. We’d all do the same. Just know he’s already coming around.” He gave her arm a squeeze then left with Sydney, who promised to drop by tomorrow.

And so Sacha found herself alone with her small family. Alekzander placed his own untouched beer next to Maksim’s and sat on the sofa with Lekzi in his lap.

“I will need to pick up some groceries tomorrow,” she said as she mentally began organizing. She’d always prepared Lekzi’s food from scratch, but she kept some store-bought jars on hand for convenience. She also had cereal in the diaper bag, but it wouldn’t last long.

Speaking of eating. While Alekzander had spent that time in the nursery, Sacha had pumped but could once again feel the firmness of her breasts and knew she would have to do so again. Or feed the baby. Angela must have given her formula earlier for her not to be fussing yet.

“Make a list and I’ll have Yana get everything you need in the morning.”

“Yana is still with Vasily?” She’d always loved sitting in the kitchen talking with the older Russian lady. “Um, do you think she would mind if I shopped with her. I have been making Lekzi’s food since she started on solids, so I am familiar with what works best.”

“How about you and I will take a trip into town in the morning. What does she eat?”

As her stomach dipped with pleasure at the thought of shopping with him again, she listed off the meals she commonly made up and began putting supplies back into the diaper bag.

“Don’t do that,” Alekzander interrupted. “Find a spot…” He looked around and pointed at a bookshelf against the wall. “Over there. Pick a shelf and we can keep some things handy. That way you’re not always running upstairs when you need to change her. I’ll have a small cabinet put in my office, and keep it fully stocked so you can easily replenish.”

His thoughtfulness and the fact that he was planning ahead left her shaken. This was happening, she thought as she looked around at the type of luxury only the very wealthy could take for granted.

“You do not have to go to the trouble. I do not mind making the trip upstairs. I can always use the exercise,” she tacked on under her breath, remembering the size of Sydney’s waist. She took a few diapers, a container of wipes, and an extra tube of Vaseline from the bag and placed it on the shelf.

“You won’t be needing the stairs to get your exercise.”

Down went the Vaseline. She cursed softly and shivered as she bent and picked it up.

“Look at me.”

She turned on straightening when she heard his command and a sweet gurgle right behind her.

“I want to be honest and let you know there are two things I’m struggling with right now. Would you like to hear what they are?”