Unbearable (Undescribable) (2 page)

My cock jerks and I can’t hold out any longer. I
lean up on my elbow as I run one hand between us. I just slide a finger into
her wet and waiting pussy when we get interrupted.

“Shit!”

Angel squeals as she crawls underneath my body and
the sheets. I turn my head to look at Micah standing in her bedroom doorway
with his hands covering his eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” I laugh,
because this is too funny, and not the first time for him to walk in on me with
a woman. He’s lucky she is covered, because I have no problem punching him in
the face.

“Holly told me the bathroom was up here on the
right,” he says as he turns his back to us.

“It’s the last on the left,” Angel calls out from
below me.

“Uh, I’m so sorry,” Micah stutters as he shuts the
door.

I smile down at Angel under me hiding. “Why was
Micah just standing in my bedroom doorway?”

“Well.” I chuckle. “That was why I came up here to
wake you in the first place. Everyone is here.”

Her bright green eyes widen. “What do you mean
everyone?” she asks slowly.

“My family came to see you. They just informed me
they are staying until Saturday.”

“Slade,” she hisses, “why didn’t you tell me?” She
scoots her way back up my body and pushes on my chest.

I roll off her and onto my side, letting her get
up.

“I had no idea that they were coming. I went
downstairs and they were in your mother’s kitchen.” I see the slight flinch of
her body at the mention of her mother. “I’m sorry.” I jump up, pushing the
covers off myself.

“For what?” she asks, pulling on her jeans.

I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her.
I bend down so my lips are at her ear. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” She shakes me off.

I stand back from her, running a hand through my
hair, confused. I don’t know how to take her right now. She was just begging me
to fuck her, now she is pushing me away.

Should she be lying on the floor crying, clinging
to me for dear life? If I know my Angel, she is regretting the moment of weakness
that she had exhibited. I want her to know that I love her, all of her. No
matter how she feels or how much her mother’s death will change her, I’m not
going to leave her.

She throws on her shirt and opens the door, leaving
the bedroom without even a backward glance.

 Great! I feel as if I’m in one of those situations
where I would have lost either way. Sex or no sex, she would have been pissed
at me. I release a sigh as I stand up and throw my clothes back on, trying to
think of anything but her lying beneath me, so my dick will go down before
following after her.

I run down the stairs,
heading toward the kitchen, trying to calm my body. My heart is still pounding
from the heart attack I almost had when Micah walked in on us. And my body is
screaming to go back upstairs and rip Slade’s clothes off and make him give me
the release that I need. I don’t know why he was taking his sweet ass time to
give me what I know we
both
wanted.

I mentally give myself a little shake before I
round the corner and smile. “This is a wonderful surprise,” I say, walking to
the coffee pot. I don’t even make it to the counter when arms pull me into a
hug.

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Holly whispers as she squeezes
me a bit tighter.

“It’s okay,” I assure her when she pulls away from
me.

“How are you feeling, honey?” Vivian asks as she
walks over, also giving me a hug.

“I’m fine.” I give her a small smile, wondering how
many times I am going to have to repeat those words.

After she releases me from a long hug, I finish my
walk over to the coffee pot. I pour some into a mug and then face everyone. It
is eerily quiet in this room that is holding eight people. I give a weak smile
as I take a sip and everyone watches me as if I’m on display. It makes me
nervous.

“You guys didn’t have to come down here,” I blurt
out, the first thing I could think of to fill the silence.

“We wanted to be here for you.” Holly gives me a
small smile. “We figured you could use some help.”

“Yeah, I haven’t thought much about what I’m going
to do with everything.” I take a sip of my coffee. “Thank you for coming.”

“You don’t have to thank us, darling,” Vivian
replies.

I start to speak to her, but my eyes are drawn to
Slade as he walks over to the kitchen table where Courtney and Josh are
sitting. I see Josh fold up a piece of paper and place it in Courtney’s hands.
My brows scrunch as I watch her hand it off to Slade. It only takes me a second
to realize what it is.

The letter from my mom
.

I feel the wind knocked out of me. How dare they
pass that around like it wasn’t my mother’s final goodbye to me? I set my
coffee mug down and march over to Slade.

I snatch the note out of his hand and briskly walk
out of the kitchen, fuming.

“Angel, wait.” I hear Slade call from behind as he follows
me. I choose to ignore him, stomping up the stairs and into my bedroom.

“Angel,” Slade says softly as he comes through my
door.

“What do you think you were doing?” I whirl around
to face him. “Why would you pass this around?” I feel my anger start to fade as
sadness overtakes it. “Why would you let everyone read this?” I cry, as I stare
down at the paper in my hand. I have always felt ashamed that my mother hadn’t
wanted me, but the note proves me a fool. In a way, it seems that I didn’t want
her. That I didn’t try hard enough to be with her.

“I didn’t.” He inches closer to me and places a
hand under my chin, lifting it so that I can peer into his baby blues. “Baby, I
have been up here with you. I only went down there for a second. As soon as I
saw everyone, I came back up here to get you. I don’t know who found it or who
has even read it.” His eyes search my face. “I’m sorry.”

I take a shaky breath and hold back the tears. I’m
tired of crying. I’m tired of having an empty spot in my heart. Slade and I
took a big step last night and that makes me happy. I love him and I’m going to
move in with him. He loves me, really loves me. I mean, he came to me, he held
me, even when I was at my lowest. He gripped me tightly while his soothing
voice told me it was going to be okay, that he was here for me. That he would
always be there for me. And I believe every word that he said.

I look at his messy hair, the stubble on his square
jaw and his soft baby blue eyes. I have fallen madly in love with this man and
he loves me back.

“It’s okay.” I shake my head slightly. “It wasn’t
your fault.”

 He frowns as he stares at me, his eyes roaming my
face. “Angel, I want you to know that you don’t have to hide your feelings from
me. When I said that I love you, I meant that.” He runs his thumb over my
bottom lip, making my body tremble with the heat that it leaves. “I love you.”

“I love you,” I whisper as I reach up, placing my
arms around his neck. I pull him down until our lips brush. I keep it soft and
sensual, although all I want to do is rip his clothes off and ravish him.

I pull away as he watches me closely. His face is
expressionless but I know he’s waiting for me to say something. “Honestly, I’m
okay.”

He stares at me a few more seconds before he nods
his head.

“I need to take a shower and get ready. I have to
start getting things in order. I don’t really even know what all I need to do.”

“I’ll help you. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. Just
tell me what you need me to do.”

I pull my shirt off, exposing my chest to him. I
watch his eyes as they land on my breasts. I unbutton my jeans and slowly push
them down along with my lace thong.

I smile to myself when he parts his lips. I think
this is the perfect time to finish what we started before Micah interrupted us.
I walk up to him until I feel his clothing against my naked skin.

I take his hands in mine and place them on my
backside. “I need you, Slade.” Why hasn’t he already taken me? Can’t he see how
much better I am today than I was last night? I thought I had cried all the
tears I had left last night in his arms. And then after I told him I loved him,
I lost it all over again.

I started crying because he didn’t run away
laughing at me when I poured my heart out. He actually loves me as much as I
love him. And also, I felt guilty for how good it felt to know that. I just
lost my mother, who didn’t know how much I loved her. I wasn’t supposed to feel
loved and special when I was so selfish and stubborn toward her. To say it is
screwing with my emotions is an understatement.

But doesn’t he understand how I feel when he’s
inside me? I know he realizes that he takes away my ability to think, to feel.
Well, except about what he’s doing to me.

I look into his eyes and swallow nervously. They
look hard, like he’s mad at me for some reason. But the way his tongue runs
over his lips makes me think something entirely different and that throbbing
between my legs returns.

We made love one time when we arrived here on
Monday. And although he was gentle and I loved it, I’m ready for something a
little more aggressive. I want him to take me, to show me that he still owns
me. He takes me away from reality. To another world where lust and passion are
so overwhelming, all I can think about is him. All I can feel is him, taking me
higher and higher. I have come to need that escape, that release. Not only have
I fallen in love with this man, I have become obsessed with how his body can control
of mine.

I watch as he swallows, eyes still hard. He places
a kiss on my forehead and pulls away from me. “I need to go get you a new
phone. Do you want to stick with the iPhone or would you like something else?”

He has just turned me down
. I try not to
show the hurt on my face.

“Uh,” I stammer, “you don’t have to do that. I will
get a new phone later.” A phone doesn’t seem important right now, everyone I
could possibly want to call was standing downstairs in my mother’s kitchen.

“I’m going to get you a phone.” He turns away from
me, opening up my bedroom door.

“iPhone?” he asks again, turning his head to look
at me over his shoulder.

“Sure. Thank you.”

He nods then walks out the door, closing it softly
behind him.

I let out a breath and head to my bathroom. I turn
on the shower and step in, letting the water run over me as I wash my hair.

I feel like we just took a huge step back. Why
would he do that? Does he not desire me sexually anymore? Maybe he finally sees
what a bad person I am. I mean, shit! All I can think about is getting laid
while his family is downstairs and my mother’s body is waiting to be buried.

I rinse out my conditioner and sit down, bringing
my knees to my chest. I lay my head down on my knees. I’m mentally exhausted.

He had a point, though. I do have a lot to do today,
but I don’t even know where to begin. Whom do I talk to first? I guess my
attorney would be the first person I need to call. I’m guessing Mom has a will.
She did mention that she was leaving me everything. I’m hoping she noted where
she wants to be buried.

I have never thought about dying. You would think I
would have, considering my dad died so suddenly, but I haven’t. My mom said
that my father had paid for her treatment. I’m sure he had contacted his
attorney to set up things for her just in case she didn’t make it. I know that
sounds bad, but that’s just how he was, always planning for the unexpected.

I bet he never expected Mom to ignore me. He
probably thought she would have let me take care of her. Had I known what she
was going through, I would have never packed my bags the day after graduation
and left. I would have fought and argued with her until she caved. I would have
put my entire life on hold for her. Now all I have left is guilt, guilt that I
never came back demanding that she talk to me. Instead, I cowered behind a
phone once a month, offering her money. She probably laughed at me, thinking I
was trying to buy her affection. Didn’t it seem like I was though?

I was just trying to give her what I thought she
didn’t have. I didn’t want her to go without. I thought it was the money that
made her hate me, so I was trying to remedy that.

 “How was I so stupid?” I whisper into my knees. I
hate
that she thought she didn’t need me. I also hate that I
believed
that
she didn’t need me. It’s more my fault than hers. All she had to do was ignore
a phone call. She would have never been able to ignore
me
had I had
shown up just once at her house. I would have seen her and known something was
wrong. Her body had been too small and frail, it would have sent up red flags,
and I would have gotten an explanation.

 I inhale deeply. I told myself I wasn’t going to
do this, that I wasn’t going to blame myself, that she wanted it this way. The thought
alone makes my chest ache and my breathing labored. How could she not want me?
She said she wanted me to live my life. I’m not going to let her down. I want
her to be proud of how I choose to live my life. That I have the strength to
pick myself back up and go on. She wouldn’t want me sitting on the floor
thinking about the things I can’t change. She wants me to live a life with no
regrets and I have already taken a step toward that by telling Slade I love
him. Even if he had turned around and walked away from me, I still would have
taken that chance.