Unbelievable (5 page)

Brandi sucked in a trembling breath and pulled away from him. He looked down at her, and froze. Her face shone pale in the dark interior of the car and her hands were fisted in her lap. She didn’t look merely shocked—she looked livid. Without thinking, Sebastian said, “Damn it, I’m sorry.” And he tugged her close. She was stiff, resisting his comfort, but he needed it as much as she did so he didn’t loosen his hold.

“I shouldn’t have gone on like that. Hell, I don’t even think about it all that much anymore, except for the waste of money. Brandi?” He cradled her head between his palms and turned her face up to him. “Are you okay?”

Nodding, she touched his cheek with a trembling hand. But her dark brows were still lowered and she
looked almost ferocious. “I’m sorry, Sebastian. You shouldn’t have had to go through such an awful thing.”

“Me? It was my mother who had to put up with him.”

She shook her head. “And you had to worry about both of them, didn’t you?” She sniffed past her anger, a single tear glimmering in her eye.

Her reaction seemed extreme to him. Hell, it had happened long ago. He searched her face, but he saw no pity, no revulsion. There was only complete understanding, which confused him more than anything. How could a woman who’d come from a wonderful loving family really understand the coarse existence he had led?

Slowly, she pulled away from him and moved a few inches over on the seat, putting space between them. She gave him an uncertain look when he continued to watch her. “Do you ever see your father now?”

He made a sound, something between a choke and a snort. “Not a chance. Not when I was the one who chased him away.”

“You?”

“When I was about twelve, I decided I’d had enough. I waited for my father with a chunk of broken lumber from the building site down the street. I considered it an equalizer. When he reached for my mother that last time, I stopped him.”

“Extreme violence when necessary?” Her voice was a soft, gentling whisper.

He shrugged. “I took a few licks myself that day, but since my father had been disgustingly drunk, I doled out more than my fair share, too. And to a man like my father, it just wasn’t worth hanging around if he had to take any abuse himself. He knew damn well, from that
day on, he’d have to contend with me every time he showed up. So he left. And he never came back.”

“But you saved your mother.”

That was how Sebastian had consoled himself over the loss of his father, because despite everything, despite how absurd it seemed, he’d had feelings for the man. He had missed him when he’d just disappeared. For a while, it had been difficult, though those feelings had long since faded. “She never mentioned it, never said if she approved or disapproved. But she smiled more often after he’d gone. And knowing I’d managed to make a difference made me feel good too, even when I had an empty belly.”

“My father is the most gentle man you’d ever meet,” Brandi said softly. “He spoils us all, going overboard on gifts and affection. He can lecture a body crazy, but he’d never raise a hand against a woman in anger.”

“You’re lucky that your family is like that.”

“I’ve always thought so.” Then she said, “You must be very proud of all you’ve accomplished since then. You’ve overcome a very tragic background.”

“Not all that tragic, and really, not all that different from what a lot of families live through. But it is what helped me decide on my future. And why I have such a successful business now.”

“The personal protection agency?”

“Yes.” Sebastian was astounded by how incredibly easy it was to talk to Brandi. Already, she knew more about him than most people did. “I decided I needed a job to help out after my father left, even though we were probably better off without buying his booze and with one less mouth to feed. I’d gained most of my
height by then and I was street tough, so I hired myself out.”

“You belonged to a gang?”

“I was my own gang.” He chuckled now, remembering how full of himself he’d been. “I was a teenager, but I thought I was as capable as anyone. If someone needed protection, I supplied it. I was a big kid and I’d learned to be mean the hard way, by necessity. But I was choosy. I worked as a defense, not an offense. I wouldn’t attack, only protect. And I made a bundle doing it.”

“Sebastian…” She hesitated, but when he waited, she finally said, “It sounds like you learned how to live with the bad, not how to get away from it.”

“True. It’s called surviving. But I did finally figure that out, though not before a few scrapes with the law and a few near misses with my general well-being. Which is why I joined the service. College was out of the question. I barely made it through high school by the skin of my teeth. I wasn’t dumb, just rebellious. And the service was structured enough to get me straightened out.”

“It’s incredible how you turned your life around.”

Startled, he looked down to see Brandi watching him, her blue eyes wide and intense in the darkness, only an occasional streetlight glimmering across her features. His heart still aching with the memories of his painful childhood, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her, to take comfort and give it. But the moment his gaze dropped to her mouth, she stiffened, and once again he accepted the rejection.

This would probably be the longest five days of his life. Brandi didn’t want him—might not ever want
him—yet every minute with her made him want her more. He felt an affinity with her that he’d never shared with another person. It didn’t make sense, not with Brandi so petite and innocent and sweet—so much his opposite. Yet he felt it, because he felt her understanding, her concern, her giving….

Though he’d had lovers and female friends, none of them had affected him this way. Never had anyone gotten past his guard so effortlessly. Sharing so much time with her alone would be a unique form of torture.

He laughed off the discomfort. He really had no choice. “I’m incredible? Now you’re starting to sound like Shay.”

She grinned. “Heaven forbid.”

When she continued to stare at him, her expression curious, he asked, “What?”

“You’re such a…big man. I can’t quite imagine you as a little kid. Do you look like your mother?”

“No. She was small, like you, but better rounded.”

Brandi chuckled. “Shay is always telling me to eat more. But I could gain twenty pounds and still not be rounded, at least not in the right places.”

“You’re fine just the way you are. Tell Shay to mind her own business.”

He’d said it in a teasing tone, but still Brandi looked embarrassed. “I’d like to meet your mother some day. I imagine she’s very proud of you.”

“She died years ago, Brandi. But my mother was always proud, even when I didn’t deserve it. She used to claim I was the only good thing she had to look forward to. Which, when I look back to my misspent youth, is really pretty sad.” Then he grinned, just so she
wouldn’t see how the topic affected him—how she affected him. “It’s a parent’s duty to be proud, no matter how you screw up.”

In a voice so low he almost couldn’t hear her, she said, “My parents haven’t always been proud of me.”

He stared at her profile, at her downcast expression, and frowned. “That can’t be true. You’ve just said how your father dotes on you, and Shay brags about your mother all the time. They love you a lot.”

“Yes, they do. But I’ve made some pretty terrible mistakes.”

He wanted to know what kind of mistakes she was referring to. He couldn’t imagine Brandi doing anything irresponsible or reckless. She didn’t seem the type. But he also wanted her to confide in him freely. So he didn’t ask. His job had taught him patience, especially with women, and he knew that if he bided his time, if he let her get to know him, she’d learn to be more comfortable with him.

She wouldn’t look at him, and he had to cup her chin to turn her face up to him. “We all make mistakes, honey. That’s part of being human.”

“I can’t….” She hesitated, not another word forthcoming.

Sebastian gave her a small smile. “It’s okay. No pressure, remember?”

She drew a deep breath, then blurted, “I shouldn’t be here. You should have had this vacation with another woman. It was unfair of Shay to foist me off on you like this. But it’s not too late. Maybe we could—”

“Brandi.”
She went still as a stone, then blinked up at him. “I didn’t want to be here with anyone else. I wanted to be here with you.”

“But you don’t understand.”

“Understand what?” His temper frayed a bit and he struggled to control it. “That you’re not interested in getting cozy with me? Believe me, I’ve figured that out already. And it’s okay. I’m still enjoying your company.”

“I fell asleep!”

“You were tired. I didn’t mind.”

“It was rude,” she grumbled.

His sigh was long and loud. “Do you realize I’ve told you more about myself than any of my friends even know?” Her eyes widened. “I don’t know why, damn it, I just felt like talking. You listened, so you’ve heard it all.”

“I’m glad.”

“And I’m glad you’re here with me.” He squeezed her shoulder. “We’ll make the best of it, okay?”

She drew another deep breath, something she seemed to do when she was nervous, then let it out in a sigh. She peeked at him, her gaze hesitant. “I…I wanted to come. I really did.”

“But?”

“I’m just not ready to do this.”

He didn’t know what
this
was, but several things came to mind. She might be in love with someone else. She might have had her heart broken, or maybe she wanted someone more influential, someone with her background. He didn’t care. Whatever the obstacle, he’d overcome it somehow.

He’d been in his business long enough to know what appeared on the surface wasn’t always the reality. Brandi seemed like such an enigma—bossy yet sweet, confident yet sometimes unsure. He had five days to
learn more about her, to figure her out, and he was looking forward to every minute of it.

He smiled. “Are you forgetting you’re in charge of this trip? We do what you want, when you want and how you want.”

“I just… I don’t like taking chances.”

He didn’t understand that, either, but it didn’t matter, not at this moment. “I think you’re ready to take a chance. A small chance,” he added, just so she wouldn’t stiffen up on him again. “With me.”

“That’s a rather arrogant assumption, isn’t it?”

Of course it was, but he wouldn’t admit it. “You know what I keep remembering, what I’ll probably remember until I’m old and gray? The way you looked at me while I was on that damn stage. No woman has ever looked at me like that before. I liked it. A lot.”

Just as he suspected, her spine snapped straight and her brows came down. But then the driver made a sudden sharp turn that threw her off balance and slammed her up against his side. Where she belonged.

Trying to ignore that vagrant observation, Sebastian slipped an arm around her and held her closer still. Before Brandi could slither away, the driver lowered the divider window. In serious tones meant to impress, he announced that they had arrived at the resort.

Sebastian grinned down at Brandi, seeing that she was flustered and embarrassed and, if he didn’t miss his guess, a little excited by their close contact. “So, boss. Are you ready to take charge?”

She narrowed her eyes, not willing to give him the upper hand, even with his teasing. She lifted her small
chin and treated him to her direct gaze. “I’m more than ready. I’m…anxious.”

“Lord, help me.” Sebastian felt his smile slip, but he covered his reaction quickly. “All right, then. Let the vacation begin.”

S
EBASTIAN COULD TELL
Brandi loved the opulence of the “cabin” they’d been directed to. But he felt almost rigid with uneasiness. It appeared to be a damn honeymoon retreat, sinfully extravagant and seductive.

The limo had dropped them off at the main lodge where they’d been preregistered. The desk clerk gave them a key and a flashlight then pointed them to a narrow trail that led through the woods, explaining that their luggage would be brought around shortly. A rental car was at their disposal, but wasn’t needed to reach the cabin.

Sebastian had held her hand as they walked through the darkened wood, the flashlight beam bouncing off thick trees and rocks. Brandi hadn’t said a word. She’d been quiet, introspective, her fingers cold in his grip. But as soon as the cabin came into sight, he’d felt her enthusiasm.

He didn’t want to dampen that enthusiasm. It was the first time he’d seen her so excited, and she looked beautiful, her smile wide, her eyes bright in the darkness. Even her wild curls seemed to bounce with energy.

How anyone could call the small rustic house a cabin was beyond him. Set off alone in the woods, it provided picturesque privacy. A floodlight had been left on in
front and Sebastian could see an angular deck filled with lavish, well-padded patio furniture. The front room had a skylight over the entrance door and rough quarry stone for a fireplace filled the adjacent outside wall.

With Brandi practically dancing beside him, he had no choice but to unlock the door and step inside.

“It’s perfect!”

“It’s too much.” His grim tone must have reached her, because she swatted his arm.

“None of that now. I know how you must feel, but let’s try to enjoy ourselves, all right? After all, Shay went to all this trouble.”

But to what end? Without an ounce of subtlety, Shay had dropped them into a honeymoon suite, that’s what she’d done. Sebastian kept the thought to himself. Brandi was still skittish with him and he didn’t want to damage the fragile bond they’d forged. But how in hell was he supposed to survive this? Every male hormone in his body had been on red alert since he’d first seen her. The ambiance of the damn cabin would only heighten the feeling.

Brandi had already hustled off, peeking into every room and inspecting every corner. “There’s a water bed in one of the bedrooms, with a private bath!”

Sebastian was still looking around the front room, but despite himself, her awe brought on a small smile. It had been a long time since he’d been able to feel any passion over needlessly blowing money. With Brandi, all he
did
feel was passion. “Why don’t you use that room?”

She stuck her head out the doorway and grinned at him. “I think I will, but only because the other bedroom
has a king-size bed.” Her gaze dipped over his long frame and she cocked one eyebrow. “That’ll suit you just fine, I’m sure.”

She disappeared again, this time through the kitchen and after a moment, he heard, “There’s a hot tub in the back on an enclosed deck!”

Erotic thoughts and images of warm water and nude female flesh—Brandi’s flesh—immediately came to mind. Sebastian had to swallow, and even then, his voice sounded uneven…and very hopeful. “Would you like to unpack and try it out?”

Silence. Brandi came slinking back through the kitchen with her head down and her hands gripped together at her waist. “Um, not tonight. It’s late and I’m really tired.”

She didn’t look at him. Sebastian watched her wrestle with her indecision then finally pry her hands apart in an effort to relax. With a sigh of resignation, he accepted that the Jacuzzi was out for a while. “Maybe tomorrow, then.” He stretched, trying to unknot his own muscles with Brandi watching his every move. She jumped when a knock sounded at the door.

“Our luggage.” Opening his wallet to retrieve a tip, he said over his shoulder, “Why don’t you see what the kitchen has in stock while I carry in our bags? I could use a bite to eat.”

But after he’d put the last piece of luggage in the bedrooms—trying his best not to look at the bed Brandi would sleep in—he found her reading a room service menu that had been left on the small dining table. Frowning, he asked, “The kitchen’s not stocked?”

Brandi waved a hand. “There’s food in there. But I don’t feel like cooking. Let’s just order something.”

He took the menu from her hand and then whistled at the prices. “You’ve got to be kidding. I could eat a week off what they charge. Besides, it’s after midnight. Do you really think they’ll serve this late?”

“Well, maybe not. But if it’s the money, I can…”

“No. Absolutely not.” Appalled by what she’d been about to suggest, Sebastian added, “I can damn well afford it if we decide to order in. It just seems ridiculous to pay those prices if there’s food here.”

“But cooking is so much trouble. And as you said, it’s after midnight.”

Without really meaning to, he touched a knuckle to her soft, warm cheek. “You do look exhausted. Why don’t you go get ready for bed and I’ll get the food together?”

It was probably to escape his touch as much from weariness that she agreed so quickly. “If you’re sure you don’t mind.”

She was already on her feet and heading out, so he chuckled. “I don’t mind at all.”

He wanted her to leave, before she noticed how she affected him. He was half-hard just thinking of her getting ready for bed, wondering what she’d wear, if she’d shower first.

He heard the water pipes hum and had his answer. It took him several moments before he could get his feet to move, and then he went to rummage in the kitchen cabinets. He found canned soup and crackers and cheese. He also found champagne and knew Shay had struck once again. He would definitely have to speak to her about this propensity she had for wasting money.

After putting the soup on to simmer and slicing a few chunks of cheese, he went back to the living room to
start a fire. The cabin was set up in an airy, open way. The living room, tiny dining room and kitchen were all open to each other with two bedrooms at the back of the house. Brandi’s bedroom had its own bath, with another full bath at the end of the hall between the rooms.

The ceilings were cathedral with raw wood beams, the floors polished pine with scattered handwoven rugs. A thick cushioned couch and two matching chairs faced the fireplace on one wall, the entertainment center on the other. Ignoring the television and VCR, Sebastian turned on the stereo and found a soft music station.

There was wood already laid in the fireplace and he had a fire blazing in no time. It took the small nip out of the late spring air and added a certain ambiance that belonged in the cabin. The darkness outside was endless. With the floodlights turned off, not even the woods were visible. Inside, the smell of soup and wood smoke scented the air. It was as if they were sealed in together, isolated from the rest of the world, intimate.

He found himself appreciating the cabin, rather than resenting it, because it afforded him the time alone with Brandi that he needed.

Already his stomach was knotting at the thought of the night to come. He would be alone with a woman he wanted more than he could ever recall wanting anyone or anything, yet she froze at his every touch. He had to find a way to breach her reserve, but he didn’t know how. One minute she seemed interested, the next repelled. Somehow both reactions only increased his determination to reach her.

When he stood and brushed off his hands, his peripheral vision caught a smidge of white and he turned.

Brandi stood there, looking uncertain and damp and so incredibly sexy he couldn’t help but react. If she’d been any other woman, he’d have gone to her, picked her up and carried into the nearest bedroom. He could have spent hours making love to her, alternating between the tenderness she instilled and the hot, primal urges that kept surging through him. He could envision their lovemaking as wild and hard, but also sweet and easy. Either way would do a lot toward satisfying the gnawing need in his gut.

But this was Brandi, and he wanted some kind of emotional commitment from her as much as the physical release. It had never mattered to him before, but then, he’d never met anyone like her. Somehow with her sweetness and caring, she’d gotten under his skin, and the thought of sex without emotion wasn’t appealing.

He wanted her. All of her.

He had five days, so he’d be patient—no matter how his body rebelled at the thought. He was a tactician, one of the best. His skill had been honed in the service and on his job. He could ruthlessly plan her surrender with great skill, and she wouldn’t know what was happening until it was too late.

But for now, if she noticed the force of his erection and the taut way he barely managed to hold on to his control, she’d find a fast plane back to Jackson.

He cleared his throat. “The soup should be ready in just a minute.”

She fidgeted with the belt to her thick white robe. It shouldn’t have looked so damn sexy, but it did. Terry cloth covered her from her neck, where she had the
lapels folded over so not a hint of skin showed, to the tops of her bare feet. He had no idea what she wore underneath, and that fact almost made him crazy.

She’d washed her hair. The damp curls weren’t quite as unruly as before, but somehow, with the small curls clinging to her cheeks and forehead, she looked even more enticing. She’d belted the robe tightly and he could see how tiny her waist was, but other than that, not a single curve showed through the thick material. She still hadn’t said anything and he stumbled through more awkward conversation.

“You should have something on your feet. It’s a little chilly in here.”

“There weren’t any slippers in my luggage. Whoever packed must have forgotten.”

Her voice sounded strained, breathless, and he stared again, unable to help himself.

“Sebastian?”

“I’ll get you a pair of my socks.” He left the room, knowing if he stood there a second longer, he’d give himself away. Not even Brandi could have missed the way the material of his khaki slacks strained over his zipper. No female had ever had such a profound effect on him. He felt as though he’d been involved in heavy foreplay for an hour. And all she’d done was change into a robe. A robe for bed. A water bed.

He rubbed the back of his neck and cursed.

When he came back with the socks, his libido somewhat under control, Brandi was stirring the soup. He watched for a moment, appreciating the way her hips moved in cadence with her hand. Barbarian that he admittedly was, he found something intrinsically ap
pealing at the sight of a woman in her bathrobe, barefoot, at the stove. He grinned at the thought. The female population of Jackson would string him up if they could read his mind right then.

Almost in silence, he handed her the socks and while she tugged them on he found a tray. He poured the soup into bowls, added the crackers and cheese while Brandi found two sodas in the fridge. He was grateful she’d ignored the champagne.

They carried the whole thing into the living room. Brandi settled herself on the floor in front of the fire, so Sebastian did the same. He was content just to watch her, the way she tucked her slim legs beneath her, how she fluffed her drying hair. She seemed very introspective, her thoughts deep as she started on her soup without comment. After a few minutes, she looked at him.

“This is great. Thanks. Much better than waiting on room service.”

Sebastian only nodded, so turned on he couldn’t think of a reply. Soon he’d be demented with lust, he thought.

She bit her lip, then went on. “I’ve never done this before. I’m sorry if I’m not being very good company.” Her cheeks turned red and she bit her lip again. “I…I have no idea what we’re supposed to talk about.”

“We don’t have to talk about anything.” Ignoring his strangled tone, he set his nearly empty soup bowl aside. “Brandi, I want you to be comfortable, remember? You’re calling the shots this trip. If you want to just sit quietly, that’s fine.”

She too set her bowl back on the tray. “It’s not that.
I mean, I want to talk to you. But…have you ever done this before?”

“This?” His heartbeat picked up rhythm, pumping warm blood to places that already felt too full.

“You know. Sitting alone with a woman in a private place. Eating in front of the fire. Struggling for conversation.”

“With the woman in her bedclothes? No, I’ve never done this before. At least, not when we planned to go to two separate bedrooms. This cabin…”

“I know you don’t like it.”

“I like it fine. It’s just that it’s meant as a lovers’ retreat.” He didn’t mention the amount of money it probably cost. That issue was secondary to how he felt right now.

He tried to see her face, to read her eyes, but she kept her gaze averted. “Brandi, I can’t pretend I don’t want you.” His low, husky tone grabbed her full attention. Her head swung around, her expression bordering on shock.

“Damn it.” Sebastian stood, then paced a few feet away. When he turned to Brandi again, she looked…almost fearful. He dropped to his knees beside her and tried to ignore the way she cowered back from him. “I’m sorry. Honey, you have to know how difficult this is for me. You don’t seem to realize it, but you’re a very sexy woman.”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are.” He smiled now, some of his frustration giving way to amusement. “And here we are alone, in this love pit.”

She raised her brows and a smile hovered on her lips as she, too, started to relax. “Love pit?”

“The water bed? The Jacuzzi? The fireplace? This cabin is meant to seduce. Only I know that’s not what you want. And I gave you my word not to pressure you.”

“And you always keep your word?” When he nodded, she asked, “I’m the one in charge, right?”

He swallowed, not certain where she was going with her reasoning, but he had a few hopeful ideas. So did his body. “Absolutely.”

Her cheeks heated more, and once again her small teeth sank into her bottom lip while she peeked up at him. He wanted those sharp white teeth on him, wanted to soothe her lips himself. Then finally she straightened and looked determined. His thighs tightened in expectation. “All right. I’m in charge. And right now, I think I’d like a kiss.”