Unbreakable (26 page)

I sighed heavily, deciding that I couldn’t keep my problems with Lisa from Kate any longer. All semester, after our wedding and during Christmas, I’d kept any talk about Lisa and her constant attention from Kate, not wanting to upset her during what should be the happiest time of her life. Still, after this afternoon, I knew I had to.

“There’s this resident who’s been pestering me. She wants to be ‘friends’, whatever that means,” I said finally.

“Friends is okay,” Kate said, pursing her lips in thought. “Colleagues. Nothing more, though,” she said with a mock angry face. “Or tell her I’ll come down there and whoop her ass.”

Then she laughed and I couldn’t help but smile.

“She wants us to sit together at meetings, have coffee together, walk down the halls in serious conversation.”

“That’s okay,” Kate said, and I could see the disappointment on her face that we were only just married and I was already bringing this kind of BS into our relationship. “I can’t expect you to give up relating to the entire female species just because we’re married. Just don’t fall in love with anyone else, Drake.”

“How could I possibly do that?” I said, shaking my head in wonder. Then I frowned. “I don’t think I can stay in the fellowship program.”

“What?
Why
?”

I didn’t say anything for a moment, debating with myself. Kate was being so good about this, but maybe too good. She didn’t understand but I didn’t want to worry her.

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea. I think I might put my practice on hold for a year or two. I can put the fellowship off until next year. Besides, I can stay home with you and the baby.”

“You’re going to stop doing surgery? Why?” she asked, and she seemed really upset. “Drake, you have to tell me right now what’s going on. Is it because of this pesky resident who has a crush on you?”

I sighed heavily, wondering how to word things.

“Drake, you can’t let a love-struck young girl ruin things for you. Just humor her.”

“I don’t think she can be humored.” Then I decided to tell her all. “I topped her in the past. She knows Richardson and Sunita. She as much threatened to reveal my involvement in BDSM if I wasn’t nice to her.”

“
What?
” she said and sat straight up, her face blanching. “You topped her? How many times?”

“Twice, back when I first was involved in the lifestyle. I barely remember…”

“She knows Sunita? She
threatened
you?”

I nodded. “She was one of Richardson’s submissives. She worked with Sunita during her internship at NYP. It’s a small world, and people know each other. She threatened to tell the administration about me if I wasn’t what she called ‘nice’ to her.”

“Oh,
God
,” Kate said and looked away. “She’s crazy.”

“She won’t take no for an answer,” I said. “She threatened me and she still thinks we’ll be all friendly.”

“Should you speak to someone about her? Is she dangerous?”

I sighed and considered.
Was
Lisa dangerous? Or was she just foolish? She said she just wanted me to be nice to her. I
had
been as nice to her as could be expected. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was that close to being a stalker.

I knew what I had to do. I had to speak with Lara.

“It’s Dawn all over again,” I said with a heavy sigh. “Lara told me that I’d have to keep my private and public lives completely separate. I thought that since Richardson’s was pretty anonymous, other than the vetting, that I’d be pretty safe. Being with Sunita was a huge mistake that I think I’ll regret for a long time.”

I said nothing for a moment, considering. As I watched, I could see Kate’s face fall, and I knew I was right to wait to tell her. This news would have ruined our wedding and honeymoon. Now, it was ruining her happiness and I hated myself for it.

“I’ll call Lara tomorrow and talk to her about it. She’ll know the best way to proceed. But I really think I’ll have to withdraw from the fellowship. If Lisa doesn’t get what she wants from me, whatever
that
is, I’m worried that she’s the kind of person who will retaliate. I don’t think she threw that threat out for no reason.”

Kate nodded, her eyes wide. “People who threaten aren’t the kind to go quietly.”

“Sadly, no,” I said and then pulled her into my arms so that she sat on my lap, the blanket a tangle around her. “But enough of this depressing stuff.” I kissed her warmly. “How are you feeling? Have you eaten?”

“Chicken rice soup and some crackers. I held it down, too,” she said with a smile as if she was glad to move onto a different subject. “But I threw up everything I ate this morning and at lunch.”

“Things should let up pretty quickly. Usually by about the twelfth week, your hormones should stabilize and morning sickness should go away.”

“Twelve weeks?” she said doubtfully. “You mean I have another couple of weeks of this?”

“Sorry,” I said and made a face of commiseration. “Keep telling yourself it’s our baby doing what’s necessary for a healthy pregnancy.”

“I wish it was just morning sickness,” she said and threaded her arms around my neck. “It’s morning, noon, and afternoon and then evening sickness. The only time I can eat anything and keep it down is after eight.”

“If it gets too bad or doesn’t go away and you can’t keep anything down, you might have to go on medication.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to take anything if I can avoid it. Babies are born with two hundred chemicals in their bodies. I don’t want to risk anything by putting in even more.”

“Hey,” I said with a grin and lifted her chin so she had to look in my eyes. “I’m the doctor in this household. If I say something’s safe, it is, okay?”

“Okay, Doctor Morgan,” she said and kissed me. “But do I have to remind you that you’re a neurosurgeon and not an obstetrician?”

She winked at me playfully but I shook my head. “I did a rotation in obstetrics, I’ll have you know. I pulled a baby out of a woman feet first. I think I’m qualified to give you advice.”

“You are,” she said with a smile. “Now, have you eaten?”

“Not yet,” I said and got up from the sofa. “You stay there. I’ll go and get myself something. I know the smell of food isn’t appealing to you.”

She sighed audibly. “I feel like a bad housewife, not fixing you something.”

“Shush,” I said and touched her lips before kissing her. “You’re not a housewife. You’re a pregnant grad student with morning sickness that happens to extend to most of the day. I’m a big boy and can do it myself.”

I left her on the sofa wrapped in blankets, and went to fix myself some leftovers – a family recipe made with beef stew and broad noodles from Kate’s grandmother. Kate’s family had Polish and Hungarian roots on her mother’s side and I was introduced to a few new dishes.

The scent as the stew heated in the microwave made my mouth water and I was eager to eat it, cutting myself a slice of French bread and slathering it with butter. I carried the dish into the living room and sat beside Kate, who was now seated more upright.

“This looks and smells so good,” I said and stirred the stew, dipping the corner of my slice of bread into the gravy.

Kate made a face and turned her head away. “Sorry,” she said, “but it turns my stomach.”

“Too spicy?” I said and stood, not wanting to bother her with the aroma, which was making me really hungry.

“Too savory,” she said and waved the air around her face. “I need bland.”

I sat on the chair across from her and started to eat, the stew delicious, the flavors mingling to make it even better.

“Excuse me,” Kate said and got up quickly, rushing out of the living room. I put my dishes down and followed her into the main bathroom where she stood over the toilet, holding her hair back. I went up behind her and held her hair for her while she retched. A small amount of food came up and she coughed and spit. When she was finished, I flushed the toilet for her and she turned to the sink and rinsed out her mouth.

“Sorry,” she said, her eyes red and watery from throwing up. “Not very appetizing to have to look after a vomiting pregnant woman.”

“Don’t even mention it,” I said and pulled her into my arms. I stroked her hair, my gaze moving over her face. “I used to dissect fetal pigs in the lab and then go out and eat a ham sandwich. Stomach made of cast iron.”

She smiled. “Good to know.”

I led her back to the living room and she lay back down on the sofa. I tucked the blankets around her and then picked up my plate of stew.

“I’ll go eat in the kitchen at the island.”

“Didn’t meant to run you off,” she said weakly.

“Don’t say a word,” I said. “Tomorrow, we’re going to see McAllister and get you something for your nausea.” When I saw her face, saw her frown and knew she was going to argue with me, I stopped her, holding up a hand. “No argument.”

She sighed and lay back on the couch.

It alarmed me that she couldn’t keep anything down. Her nausea was getting worse, not better so I figured that she would have to go on medication to prevent her from losing weight and electrolytes. If she developed severe morning sickness, and kept throwing up, she’d get an imbalance and could suffer fainting and seizures, arrhythmias – the list went on. My training in obstetrics came back to me and I ate my meal with some trepidation.

The last thing I wanted was for Kate to have to take medication but in some cases, it was necessary. I sat at the island and took out my cell, then searched through my contacts for one of the obstetricians I knew at NYP. Sharon McAllister was a colleague I’d met at functions and I’d thought of her when Kate and I decided to try to have a baby. She’d already agreed to be Kate’s obstetrician, so I sent her a text asking if we could get in to see her at some point the next day. Then, I put my cell away and ate my supper. My uncomfortable encounters with Lisa were just a bad memory.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Kate

I had never realized how sick I’d be when pregnant.

Pregnancy was not something my friends and I discussed. We were focused on college and getting our degrees and making a life. Christie had talked about her pregnancy at times, but I never really listened to much or very closely. Elaine couldn’t have children so she merely nodded politely when Christie talked about things like her ankles swelling or her hips feeling loose, or her breasts aching.

Having a baby had been something I wanted and looked forward to – in some far off time in my future, after I finished my Master’s and got a job, worked a few years and travelled. At least, that was the plan before I met Drake.

Then he walked into my life and the only thing I knew was that I wanted him. I wanted to be his. If he felt a need to have a family sooner rather than later, I wanted that as well. I understood his fear of missing out on family life. He’d missed out on it his entire life and making a family with me was top on his agenda.

Considering he thought he’d never marry again and never be a father before he met me, it touched my heart that he wanted all in. Marriage, children, family – the whole shebang. Still, the timing wasn’t exactly what I foresaw when we married. I thought I had a few years to get things finished with my Master’s and work. When I became pregnant so quickly, I was really excited, but not prepared for the morning sickness and intense fatigue I felt every day, day in and day out.

I could do nothing but lie in bed with a bucket beside me, watching movies on television. No art, no research, and I never went out.

It was like being a prisoner to my own body.

“You better be easy as a baby,” I said to the tiny embryo inside of me while I lay on the bed and battled waves of nausea. I ran my hand over my belly, imagining the tiny being and wondering whether it was a boy or girl. We’d be going for our first ultrasound the following week when I was officially eight weeks pregnant. Then, we’d have another ultrasound at eighteen weeks and I hoped I was better by then. I had a few more weeks of nausea ahead of me if my pregnancy was normal, so I hope it lessened once I reached eleven or twelve weeks.

I had lost five pounds and could only hold down some meals at night when I tried to make up for lost calories during the day. I knew it wasn’t enough. I’d have to go on some kind of medication to stop the vomiting because it wasn’t healthy, but I kept hoping it would pass any day and I could go back to eating my normal diet.

Maybe even adding ice cream and pickles, if I felt like it.

Drake took me to see Dr. McAllister and she’d written out a prescription for anti-nausea pills, but I avoided taking them, even though Drake looked at me with a frustrated expression.

“If my nausea doesn’t lessen by twelve weeks, I’ll start taking them,” I promised. So I lay on the sofa that day, after having thrown up my breakfast of toast, honey and weak peppermint tea, and felt miserable.

Ever since I told my father and Elaine about my pregnancy, she’d been itching to mother me. So when I still wasn’t feeling well, Elaine came over and puttered around the apartment, tidying up and making me some more tea and toast when several hours had passed since breakfast and I decided to try to eat once more.

“Here you go, sweetie,” she said and put the toast and tea on a tray on the coffee table. I sat up and dangled my legs over the side of the sofa and took the plate with a slice of white toast, lightly buttered and with a thin sheen of honey on it. It looked appetizing. I wanted to eat it.

“I’ll try,” I said and took a bite, hopeful that this would stay down. I chewed and felt fine so I had a sip of tea and signed in contentment. “I’m doing fine so far.”

Elaine sat on the sofa beside me and watched while I demolished the toast.

“That’s not enough to live on,” she said and eyed my plate. There was another slice but I didn’t want to push things.

“You never had children?” I asked as I sipped the hot sweet tea.

Elaine shook her head and adjusted her sweater. “I had pelvic inflammatory disease as a young woman and it burned out my fallopian tubes so I couldn’t get pregnant if I tried,” she said and smiled sadly. “I envy you, even though you’re so sick. With my first husband, we tried so hard to get pregnant and then I found out I wasn’t able. It tore us apart because he really wanted a family.”