Uncaged (7 page)

Mrs. Anderson seemed to become aware of him. “I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing here, but you certainly have no right to upset the boy by dragging up painful memories.”

“If he’s upset, it’s because he’s being bullied by a woman who appears to have the sensitivity of a rhinoceros,” Daniel said through gritted teeth.

Tommy made a small choking sound, showing that he’d appreciated this description. Mrs. Anderson looked daggers at him. “That was a very vulgar remark, and you’re a very naughty little boy,” she said. “What would your new mommy say about your behavior?”

Tommy’s mirth vanished, and his face took on a mulish aspect. “She’s not my mommy,” he said at once. “I don’t like her. And she doesn’t like me.”

“I forbid you to say things like that,” his grandmother said in a hard voice. “You’re just a silly little boy. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know if someone doesn’t like me,” Tommy said stubbornly. “She calls me ‘that brat.’”

“By ‘she’ I suppose you mean Miss Bracewell. You know your father has told you to call her Mommy.”

“But she isn’t my mommy,” the child repeated, almost in tears, but refusing to yield.

“What’s going on here?” Brian demanded, coming into the room.

“You should be more careful whom you let into the house, Brian,” the woman declared loftily. “This man seems to believe he can interfere in what doesn’t concern him.”

“So I’ve already discovered,” Anderson said grimly. “All right, Mother, you can leave Mr. Keller to me. You’d better take Tommy away.”

Mrs. Anderson took the child’s hand firmly and marched him out of the room, but not before Tommy had turned back and given Daniel a beseeching look. He forced himself to cover his anger with a smile, trying to tell the child that he’d see Megan, give her the picture and pass on her son’s love. A smile seemed a fragile thing to carry so many burdens.

“I think you’d better leave now,” Anderson said dismissively.

“I’ll leave, but you haven’t heard the last of me.”

“Spare me the threats. Tell Megan that for every lawyer she hires, I’ll hire ten. I’ll blacken her name and keep her tied up in the courts for years. Tommy will be grown up before she ever sets eyes on him again. I hope I make myself clear.”

“Perfectly,” Daniel said grimly.

“Then I see nothing to keep you here.”

He followed Daniel out to his car, and at the last minute he said, “Take this as a friendly warning. Megan is using you. That’s her way. She seems sweet and delightful, but underneath it she’s a schemer, a user. Somehow I would have expected a man of your experience to have spotted that earlier.”

“Good day to you,” Daniel snapped, and got into the car. It took all his self-restraint not to sock Brian Anderson in the jaw.

* * *

“What did Brian say?” Megan demanded as soon as he got home.

“Just what you expected him to say. No dice. Don’t look so cast down. I have something that will please you. Here.” He took the picture out of his jacket and offered it to her. “Tommy gave it to me, for you.”

Instantly her face was alight. “You saw Tommy?” she asked eagerly.

“I actually had a few minutes alone with him before we were interrupted. Megan, he knows all about it. One of his school friends saw it in the paper and told him.”

“He knows I was in prison? Oh, God!”

“He knows you’ve been cleared. He knows you’re free and he longs to see you. He loves you.” Daniel was speaking quickly, trying to impress her mind with some good news and drive the sadness from her face. “The others are trying to make him forget you,
but they’re failing.
Hold on to that.”

He wasn’t sure that she heard him. She was staring at the picture. “Tommy did this?” she whispered.

“That’s how he keeps your memory alive, despite everything they can do.”

“He still loves me, doesn’t he?” Her eyes were glowing.

“Yes, he still loves you a lot,” Daniel said. Her lightning change from despondency to radiance was giving him a hard time. She’d lost so much, and there was still such a mountain to climb. He didn’t know how to tell her that Brian was planning to remarry. He dreaded to see the despair return to her face, and not merely because he felt guilty. This woman’s pain was unlike any other’s. It had a way of seizing his heart and becoming his own pain. He didn’t examine this too closely, or ask why, but it disturbed him. “Listen,” he said, “I’ve discovered something else. Brian has put Tommy in a different school—Buckbridge Junior. Tommy told me that himself.”

“I could see him,” she cried eagerly. “Let’s go now.”

“Megan, it’s Sunday.”

“Tomorrow, then. Just a glimpse. I don’t care how far away I am. I must see him. Don’t try to stop me.”

“I’m not trying to stop you. I’ll even take you there.”

“When? First thing in the morning?”

“Whenever you like. Megan, calm down.”

“How can I calm down when I’m going to see Tommy again? If only I could tell you what it’s been like, missing him every moment—thinking of him...”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he said. “I know how memory can be a blessing and a torment.”

“Yes, of course,” she said, sobering instantly. He guessed she was thinking of his wife, but it was his son who was in his heart at that moment. There was nothing quite like the love of a child, or the empty ache when his arms no longer went around your neck in eager confirmation of the most spontaneous, uncalculating love of all. If he could have told her his thoughts, they might have drawn close on common ground, but as always, at such moments his tongue seemed to be chained.

Suddenly she smiled at him, and there was a confidence and contentment in that smile that filled him with dread. To fail her now would be the most terrible thing in the world. “Don’t build your hopes up,” he said. “There are still a lot of hard things ahead of you, and you’re going to need all your courage.”

“But it can be done, can’t it?” she asked eagerly. “I can get Tommy back, can’t I?”

He had no idea, but he wasn’t strong enough to destroy the fragile hope that was keeping her going. “We can do it,” he said at last. “Somehow...we’re going to do it.” He brushed the hair away from her forehead and took her face between his hands. Now, he knew, was the moment to tell her the worst. The words struggled on the edge of his tongue, until at last... “We’ll find a way,” he said gently. “Trust me.”

He despised himself as a coward, but he couldn’t help it.

* * *

They found the school the next morning and waited in Daniel’s car, their eyes on the entrance, but it was soon obvious that this would be useless. All they could see was a set of wrought-iron gates through which cars swept every few minutes. There was no hope of recognizing Tommy. Megan stayed calm but her face was dreadfully pale. “Wait here,” Daniel told her.

He was gone half an hour, and when he came back, he said, “I’ve been looking at the playing fields right around the back. There’s a wire fence where we can get a good view.”

They took up position outside the fence and waited for three hours. During all that time Megan scarcely moved. Her hands rested on the wire, and every time a class appeared for games, they clenched slightly, then relaxed when there was no sign of Tommy. “Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea, after all,” Daniel said. “He may not have a games period today. Let’s go.”

“You go,” she said, not taking her eyes from the field. “I’ll stay awhile.”

“Well, perhaps I’ll stay awhile, too,” he said casually.

She didn’t hear him. Her hands tightened on the wire and he heard her inhale her breath sharply. A crowd of little boys had appeared on the far side of the playing fields, and Megan’s eyes were fixed on one of them. “That’s him,” she whispered. “That’s Tommy.”

Frowning, Daniel tried to get a better view. At first glance the distance made all the boys look alike. Then he realized that Megan’s instinct hadn’t erred. After three years, during which Tommy’s appearance must have changed, her mother’s heart had chosen him at once.

“Surely they’ll come a little closer,” he murmured, trying to make it happen by sheer force of will. It seemed monstrously cruel that she should have kept so patient and heartbreaking a vigil and have it rewarded in this meager fashion. But soon he realized that the class had settled at the far end of the field, and wouldn’t be coming any nearer. Megan didn’t speak. Her eyes were fixed on Tommy with a look more piteous than tears, and she never moved them for the next half hour.

And then it was time for the children to go. They began to leave the field, laughing and fooling with each other, eager to get back to a shower and a change of clothes.

All except one.

A little boy had paused, staring down the field at the wire fence. He was totally still, as still as the woman who looked back at him, and their eyes met over the long distance. For a moment it seemed as if he would run toward her, but then the teacher noticed him lagging behind and called him. The next moment he was gone with the rest.

Still Megan didn’t move. Her gaze was fixed on the spot where her son had stood watching her, as though she could recreate him through sheer longing. “It was him, wasn’t it?” she whispered. “I wasn’t fooling myself?”

“No, you weren’t fooling yourself,” he said gently. “That was the boy I saw the other day.”

“And he knew me, didn’t he?” she almost pleaded.

“Yes, he knew you. Let’s go home now.”

She was quiet all the way home, but then she took charge of cooking supper and a wave of euphoria seemed to be buoying her up. “Go into the living room, and I’ll bring the coffee in,” she told him.

“That meal was a work of art,” he said as they settled down.

“I learned cordon bleu to please Brian,” she said with a shrug. “It was one of the things he felt was appropriate for his wife. Do you know, I’d almost forgotten that I could cook like that, but suddenly it’s all come back to me. So many things are coming back—as if I’d suddenly returned to life. Tommy knew me. After three years, he knew me as easily as I knew him. Somehow I just know everything’s going to be all right.”

Something uneasy in his manner seemed to get through to her. “You’ve been quiet all evening,” she said. “What is it? Look, I know I sound crazily optimistic. I know I’ve got a battle on my hands. Brian isn’t going to give up easily, but suddenly I feel strong enough to fight him. In fact, I feel strong enough for anything, and I owe it to you, so don’t spoil it by being downcast.”

“I don’t want to spoil it,” he said unhappily, “but it may be even harder than you think....”

She sat down on the sofa beside him and looked searchingly into his face. “What is it, Daniel? Have you been keeping something back?” His silence gave her the answer, and she took hold of him strongly by the shoulders. “It’s all right, you can tell me. I’m strong now. I really am.”

“All right,” he said heavily. “I should have told you before, but I didn’t know how. Brian is planning to marry again.”

He saw her face go gray and felt the shock shiver through her body. “Megan, it’s all right,” he said urgently. “We’re going to get him back, I promise.”

“A stable family home,” she whispered. “That’s what the court will say—two parents. Or a mother with a cloud over her.”

“A mother he loves,” Daniel said insistently. “He hates this other woman, I heard him say so. He said he wouldn’t accept her as his mommy. Courts listen to children these days. Megan, listen to me, we’re not going to give up.
We’re going to prove you innocent and get him back.
”

“W
e’re going to prove you innocent and get Tommy back,” Daniel repeated. “Megan, do you hear me?”

She said nothing, but the desperate look in her eyes was both a reproach and an answer. Unable to bear that look, Daniel bent his head and kissed her on the lips, wrapping his arms right around her slim body and holding her close. There was no passion in his embrace, only a desire to comfort and console her with tenderness and warmth. As he kissed her, he continued to murmur, “It’ll be all right...I’m going to make it right for you...trust me.”

At last he seemed to get through to her. He felt her relax, and began to stroke her hair. He was glad when she buried her face against him so that she couldn’t see his expression with its burden of doubt. He’d made promises that he didn’t know how to keep, but somehow he must find a way.

Megan lifted her face again. “Daniel...” she whispered.

Her lips were close to his, and suddenly no power on earth could have stopped him from lowering his head and kissing her. He meant it as consolation—at least, so he told himself—but a million years seemed to have passed since their last kiss only a few seconds ago. Everything had changed. Now there was no comfort or contentment, no reassurance, no friendly easing of strain. Daniel’s body went rigid with shock at the riotous sensations coursing through it, and for a moment he could do nothing but hold himself motionless while waves of excitement shook him.

He could feel that it was the same with Megan. The slim body in his arms was tense and urgent as the revelation became clear to her, too. They’d trodden this path before and turned back when their passion had shattered against their mutual mistrust. Since then they’d learned about each other, and mistrust was gradually being replaced by a cautious alliance based on respect and affinity of suffering. But what was happening now had nothing to do with respect and everything to do with the burning need of flesh for flesh. This woman, whom he had no right to think of, much less want, had touched off a craving deep within him that was beyond rational thought, and he, who’d survived twelve years on the force by calculating risks, could do nothing but surrender to it helplessly.

Megan had the feeling of being swept away by a whirlwind. Her mind was against this, but her body wanted it. Nothing mattered now except the fact that his mouth was on hers, moving slowly, savoring each sweet caress, lingering, promising. And the skill of his mouth was matched by the skill of his hands. His touch made her light clothing feel like iron barriers, keeping him out when she wanted to invite him in. It was shocking to feel like this, but she couldn’t help herself.

Through the roaring of her senses she managed to murmur, “Daniel...”

“Yes,” he said hoarsely.

“We shouldn’t do this...I know we shouldn’t....”

“Then tell me to stop.”
She looked up at him helplessly, and with a groan he covered her mouth again. “Tell me to stop,” he repeated in a voice that was half command, half plea.

“I can’t...you know I can’t....” Her words were drowned by his lips covering hers, his tongue in her mouth, exploring her with eager anticipation. She was possessed by tremors of pleasure, startling in their intensity. She hadn’t known that such sensations could exist, and now she had no choice but to surrender herself to them right up to the end—whatever the end might be. She didn’t know what kind of a lover Daniel would be, but suddenly she was desperate to find out. Nothing must stop her now. Nothing
could
stop her now.

With a quick movement she wrenched open the buttons of his shirt and allowed herself the treat of exploring inside. His chest was thick with curly hair that rasped pleasurably against her palm. Beneath it was a firm, muscular torso, hinting at the strength of his whole body, and delights to come. She could feel the vibrations of pleasure shaking him, and the next moment he’d responded in kind, pulling open the buttons of her top and slipping his hand inside to encompass one full breast. She gasped with sheer delight. Every inch of her body was ready for him, longing for him.

She’d half expected Daniel to be a conventional lover, taking her upstairs to make love in bed because that was “the proper place.” But he surprised her by tossing some cushions onto the floor before returning to the serious business of undressing her. Her top was tossed aside, followed by her scanty bra, and then there was nothing to stop him loving both bare breasts with hands and lips and tongue.

He pulled her down onto the cushions and began a tender assault on the richness of her body. Sensations flooded Megan as he accepted the invitation in her proud, peaked nipples, and began to tease them with ruthless skill. She’d thought she knew about sex, but now she discovered that the moderate enjoyment she’d experienced before hadn’t even been the beginning. Real pleasure was what was happening to her now, this stunning, mind-numbing, overwhelming onslaught of feelings that utterly possessed her.

Even the very word “pleasure,” was inadequate to describe what was happening. It was as though the whole world was opening up to her for the first time. Doors swung wide, revealing glorious visions, vistas leading to infinity, sharply brilliant colors. Ripe fruit hung from the trees, flowers blossomed underfoot, and the whole of creation burst with new life, reflecting the awakening that was taking place inside her. This was what life was about, and she’d never known, never even suspected.

She didn’t know who’d stripped off Daniel’s shirt, but she suspected it was herself, because she was kissing his body hungrily, inhaling his male scent. He felt good to her, his flesh firm beneath her exploring fingers, beneath her searching mouth. Every inch of her was alive and thrumming with desire for the man whose lean body and muscular thighs held such exciting strength. He’d said that he was a plain man, and just now that was what she wanted; raw, forceful, straightforward, driving her to the edge of ecstasy.

“Daniel...” she whispered.
“Daniel...”

“It’s too late to tell me to stop now,” he said hoarsely.

“Don’t stop...can’t wait...” The last words came from her in a gasp as he moved between her legs and entered her in one hard-driving movement. The sound was matched by his groan as she enveloped him with arms and legs and loins. For a few minutes they were both oblivious to everything except the pleasure they were giving each other. By sheer instinct they found themselves moving in perfect harmony, their bodies attuned as though nature had meant it that way from the beginning of time.

Everything she’d thought she knew about herself seemed to fall away, revealing a truth so deep that she’d never suspected it, although it had been plain to strangers. She
was
Tiger Lady. She belonged in the jungle where only the primitive elements counted, because she herself was primitive, made of fire and air, heat and light.

For years she’d told herself that her nickname was only a creation of the publicists, but they’d seen past the surface to her essential nature; smoky, exotic, animalistic. Now there was no more self-delusion. Her sensuality had come racing out of the forests of the night, eyes blazing, soft paws moving silently over the earth, claws barely concealed. It had pounced, it had her in its grip, was shaking her. Convulsions possessed her body, leaving her exhausted, wrung out and blissful. She would never be the same again.

Daniel looked down into her flushed face, seeing the instant reawakening of desire. He was still hard inside her, and he knew that for him, too, this was just the beginning. She’d touched off a deep, physical craving that threatened to be uncontrollable. Was this why he’d instinctively feared her, because of her power to do this to him? But now he knew he had the same power over her. It was there in her large golden eyes in which distant fires burned, inciting him. It was there in the movements of her hips, and the long beautiful legs that were wound around him. She wanted what only he could give her, just as he wanted what only she could give. But she wouldn’t plead for it. She preferred to command, just as he did himself, and the result would be an epic power struggle. The thought of the awesome battles that would ensue sent a renewed thrill through his loins and he began to move again, slowly.

At once a soft growl came up from a place deep within her. A contented tigress might have made that sound, and excitement stirred in him again in response. She unwound her legs from around his body and began to thrust her loins forward in strong, leisurely movements. Her hands, which had been around his neck, loosened their grip and she drew them back. There was a superb arrogance in the way she then clasped them behind her own head and lay looking up at Daniel through half-closed eyes. Her gaze challenged him, saying, “So surprise me,” and he was avid to meet that challenge.

His strength came surging back as he moved inside her, exerting all his control to make it long, slow and satisfying. She understood his intention and timed her movements to his, reveling in the exquisite pleasure. This time when their climax approached, she had an extraordinary feeling of racing toward the edge of a cliff. The long drop didn’t scare her because she could see only air and light. As Daniel drove explosively into her, she launched herself off into space. Then she was spiraling down, crying out with pleasure and relief at the overwhelming sense of freedom. It felt indescribably good and she arched her back, holding him deep within her, wanting it to last forever. When it was over, she could have wept.

She was devastated by enjoyment. This man was so skilled, so vigorous and satisfying, that she felt drained and totally contented. Dimly she recognized that her troubles were as great as ever, but the utter relaxation of her body was a balm that soothed every wound. It might not last, but for the moment she felt physically at peace and able to cope with whatever happened to her.

Daniel was watching each expression that passed over her face, trying vainly to read them all. His own fulfillment had been total. He wanted to rest his head against her breast, to speak to her tenderly, even perhaps lovingly, and then to sleep in her arms. But she was looking at him through her lashes, and it was impossible for him to tell what else, besides physical contentment, there was in that look. “Well?” he asked lightly.

“Well, what?”

“Was it good?” He cursed himself as soon as the words were out. They were stupid, clumsy, arrogant. But a sudden shyness had overtaken him.

His words—no, not his words, his attitude—had the effect of tightening the springs of tension that had begun to uncoil in Megan. Now she remembered that a chasm still yawned between them. They might no longer be enemies, but they were no more than wary comrades, and she’d lowered her guard. He’d seen her out of control, lost in his power. Her common sense told her it was a bad move.

But prison had taught her many things, among them, dissimulation. So she merely sat up. “Of course it was good,” she said with a shrug. “I haven’t had a man in five years. Anyone would have been good.”

With her back to him, she didn’t see the sudden strain in his face, as if she’d slapped him. When he spoke again, his voice was expressionless. “Five years? You were only in prison for three.”

“And before that I was separated from my husband, so you assume I was promiscuous?”

“I didn’t—”

“After I left Brian I lived without a man by choice.”

“And...before you left him?” It was none of his business. but he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

Megan shrugged. “During our last year together we lived under the same roof, but there was nothing between us. You can believe that or not, as you like.”

He just stopped himself making a sound of relief. It was irrational to feel such pleasure. What did it matter to him that she’d had the good taste to reject her worthless husband? It might have mattered once, but she’d made it only too clear that nothing had changed between her and himself. They’d succumbed to a moment of physical madness. The minute it was over she hastened to restore the distance between them.

No, not restore: create. The distance she was establishing now was twice what it had been when they’d returned from seeing Tommy. Then there’d been a camaraderie between them, which she now wanted to deny.

A horrible thought occurred to Daniel. Had Megan really succumbed to madness at all? He’d tried to do her a service, and she was grateful. What had seemed to be passion might be no more than a kind of good manners. Now she was delicately letting him know that gratitude only went so far.

He hastily got up and covered himself. The pleasure of being naked with her was gone. Now he felt as if he’d taken advantage of her defenselessness. He cursed himself for being awkward. But it was too late. For a brief moment something had almost flowered between them. But it was gone.

* * *

The next morning’s mail brought a letter from Mr. Newton, who announced that the negotiations for her compensation were going sufficiently well for him to make her a more generous advance. Attached to the letter was a check for one thousand pounds.

“That’s excellent,” Daniel said in a toneless voice. “Now you can afford your own place.”

“Of course,” Megan agreed instantly. “I’m sorry to have imposed on you. You’ve done a great deal for me, Daniel, but I can manage alone now and—”

“Cut it out,” he ordered harshly. “I haven’t even started on what I’m going to do. You can’t clear this up on your own. You
need
me. Or were you fooling yourself that you don’t?”

“No I—I guess I don’t understand. Why are you throwing me out?”

“‘Throwing you out?’” he echoed, trying to speak lightly and not entirely succeeding. “That’s rich, coming from the woman who once said that anyone’s house was better than mine. I’m not ‘throwing you out,’ but for your sake I think it’s better if we live apart. What happened last night...shouldn’t have happened. And if you live independently of me it won’t happen again.”

“I see,” she said slowly. “Yes, I see.”

He wanted to shout that she didn’t see at all. Through a long sleepless night he’d been tormented by the thought that he’d traded on her need of him. He wanted her, but not that way, not in gratitude and dependence, but freely and with a full heart. Already his body ached for her again, craved to lie with her in joy and fulfillment, but if that day should come, he wanted to look into her shining eyes and see a true passion that matched his own. And when desire was slaked, he wanted her to nestle against him in blissful contentment, not withdraw, her debts paid. He knew it might never happen. But he also knew that even to hope for it he must first send her away.