Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Golden Plunger Awards (38 page)

BOOK: Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Golden Plunger Awards
2.44Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
With all this international success, the tango returned to Argentina a new dance: no longer hidden away in the tenements and brothels of Buenos Aires, it was suddenly popular with the upper classes in its hometown. In the 1930s, Argentina’s status in the world grew—it became one of the richest nations. And the tango was seen internationally as a fun and exciting expression of Argentinean culture.
THE GOLDEN AGE
It was the rise to power of one of the country’s most infamous couples, though, that really brought the tango into its own. Socialists Juan and Eva Peron became the president and first lady of Argentina in 1946, and they ushered in the tango’s Golden Age. The tango has always been a dance of the people, and the Perons (who billed themselves as the rulers of the people) promoted it in order to appeal to the middle and lower classes who’d elected them. The couple also supported tango artists and even hired them to work in Peron’s administration.
But when Peron was overthrown by a military coup (supported by the upper classes) in 1955, the tango went underground. The upper class of Argentina was now in charge, and they frowned on the dance. They also didn’t want to support anything Peron had
supported. Although not forbidden by law, the suppression of certain songs and the enforcement of curfews made it difficult for clubs to attract customers who’d previously gone out on the town to dance the tango. Also, the new military government imprisoned many of the tango artists Peron had hired.
Argentina’s ruling class even began to enforce laws that kept minors out of dance clubs . . . but only clubs where the tango was danced. Minors in Argentina were free to frequent rock ‘n’ roll clubs, which were considered less dangerous and less likely to promote unrest. It wasn’t until 1983, when the military government was overthrown in Argentina, that the tango regained its proper place in the country’s culture. Free to learn and practice the dance, Argentineans once again took to the dance floor. As for the rest of the world, they’d continued dancing the tango all along.
THE BASIC STEPS
Many variations of the tango exist around the world, and the American tango is different from the Argentinean tango. But if you want to do a basic tango, here are the steps you need to know:
• The tango has five steps performed over eight counts. Basically, it’s a slow walk followed by a quick one. The five steps are counted out: “Slow, Slow, Quick, Quick, Slow.” Some people like to spell out the dance: “T-A-N-G-O.” (Whatever helps.)
• For the first three steps, the man moves his left, right, and then left foot forward. The fourth is a shuffle of the right foot to the right, followed by bringing the left foot into the right. The woman mirrors these movements.
(And please, remember: Uncle John bears no responsibility for awkward tangos performed as a result of reading these instructions.)
“The forms of tango are like stages of a marriage. The American tango is like the beginning of a love affair . . . The Argentine tango is when you’re in the heat of things . . . The International tango is like the end of the marriage, when you’re staying together for the sake of the children.”
—Barbara Garvey,
Smithsonian
magazine
THE SHOE-BIZ AWARD
Crocs
Distinctive and ugly, Crocs clogs haven’t
worn out their welcome . . . yet.
NOT JUST FOR THE OUTDOORS ANYMORE
Love them or hate them, Crocs are everywhere. After becoming standard professional footwear among medical staffers and kitchen pros, Crocs leapt into the fashion mainstream. From Hollywood to high schools to the White House, these clunky, colorful, clown-like clogs are a sensation.
In 2007, Crocs (the company) claimed a 138 percent leap in sales with annual revenues surging from $354 million to $847 million. Analysts predict that demand will continue to be strong with estimated 2008 sales of a whopping $1.16 billion. The manufacturers’ recent expansion into foreign markets is credited with fueling Crocs’ amazing growth. And to think, Crocs creators designed the shoes solely with boating and outdoors activities in mind.
CROCS CRAWL OUT OF THE WATER
Back in 2002, three fishing buddies from Boulder, Colorado—George Boedecker, Scott Seamans, and Duke Hanson—happened on a new breed of slip-resistant, nonmarking footwear made by a Canadian company called Foam Creations, Inc. The enterprising threesome licensed the clever clog, added a strap to the shoe’s design, and dumped the utilitarian name in the process. They introduced the now-classic Croc Beach Model at that year’s Florida Boat Show—it sold out in two days. From that moment on, their venture took off like wild . . . rubber.
But contrary to popular opinion, Crocs are not made from rubber. According to the company, their clogs are made from a proprietary
closed-cell resin called Croslite. It is Croslite that accounts for the shoe’s legendary comfort, softness, super gripping power, and odor resistance.
What Croslite doesn’t account for is the polarizing opinions about Crocs. We’re talking fierce convictions on both sides of the fence.
LOVE IS A MANY JIBBITZED THING
In one corner are the Crocs fans, which have been known to liken the experience of wearing a pair to “walking on air,” they adhere to the company’s advertisements, which promote that “ugly can be beautiful.” In fact, part of the shoes’ appeal seems to be their unattractive character, with enthusiasts zealously focusing on comfort and function over looks.
That said, devotees have tried to doll up their Crocs, spawning a whole new fashion fad. Enter Jibbitz, a company that makes charms created to decorate Crocs of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Like Crocs, Jibbitz was founded in Boulder, Colorado. In 2005, Sheri Schmelzer, a stay-at-home mom, was inspired to decorate her kids’ Crocs with clay and rhinestone charms that she fit in the clogs’ aerating holes. Thinking she was on to something, her husband encouraged her to craft an entire collection.
The couple set up shop in their basement, selling their charms via the Web under the name Jibbitz, which came from Mrs. Schmelzer’s nickname, “Flibberty-Jibbit.” A year later, Jibbitz weren’t just available on the Internet—they were also stocked in thousands of stores across the country. Then, in 2006, Crocs bought the Schmelzers’ company. Now, Crocs fans can decorate their shoes with 11,000 Jibbitz designs—everything from peace signs to butterflies to smiley faces.
CROC CONTEMPT
In the other corner are the Croc-haters, and they are a vehement bunch. Two detractors in particular, Kate Leth and Vincenzo Ravina, launched a Web site called
IHateCrocs.com
, “dedicated to the elimination of Crocs and those who think their excuses for wearing them are viable.” The pair also began a Croc-hating group on Facebook. And just to take their social media anti-Crocs campaign
one step further, Leth and Ravina posted a Croc-burning video on YouTube.
The media doesn’t help, either. Not long ago, the Crocs company got some negative press when reports surfaced in the blogo-sphere about Croc-wearing kids being harmed on escalators because of the shoes. Then a Swedish hospital considered asking its staff to stop wearing Crocs clogs, saying that static electricity from the shoes was to blame for knocking out medical equipment on three different occasions.
Luckily for Crocs, the shoes seemed to beat the bad press for the time being, with sales continuing to skyrocket. And only time will tell if Crocs are enduring statements of style or simply a crock.
CROCOPHILES
• Jack Nicholson has been seen sporting a baby blue pair.
• Rosie O’Donnell appears to prefer them in hot pink or sunshine yellow.
• President George W. Bush likes to wear his black Crocs with black socks and shorts.
• Country crossover music artist Faith Hill is faithful to subdued beige.
• Celebrity Chef Mario Batali never seems to take his bright orange pair off, even deigning to wear them at red-carpet events.
TWO TRENDSETTING UGLY SHOES
Earth Shoes:
The “Negative Heel Technology” just means that the heel sits lower than the toe. Supposedly Earth Shoes mimic the action of walking in beach sand. They’ve been a favorite of the hippie set since the 1960s and are currently enjoying a renaissance.
 
Uggs:
Skin-out, shearling-in shoes have long worked for sheep shearers and other folks who need to keep their feet warm, but they’ve always been known as “ugh,” “fug,” or “ug” boots. In the first millennial decade, these shapeless beige booties became a celeb must-have.
THE BRIGHT STAR AWARD
Marilyn Monroe
Beautiful, sexy, glamorous, legendary, and never out
of style—Marilyn Monroe gets Uncle John’s vote
for being Hollywood’s most enduring icon.
HEY, MARILYN
Most people know that Marilyn Monroe was born Norma
Jeane Mortenson (later Baker) in Los Angeles in 1926, and that her early life was, as her
New York Times
obituary states, “Oliver Twist in girl’s clothing.” No wonder she married as soon as she could (at age 16 in 1942, to her 21-year-old neighbor Jimmy Dougherty). Four years later, she divorced Dougherty, changed her name to Marilyn Monroe, and launched her acting career. She became an inspiration for the likes of Madonna, Elton John, and Norman Mailer, who wrote a 1986 play about her called
Strawhead
.
Her career was brief but prolific: she made
All About Eve
in 1950, gained stardom with
Niagara
in 1953, and appeared in 28 other films before she died in 1962. Yet, Marilyn Monroe’s image still appears in magazines and television commercials. She got her own postage stamp in 1995. And in 1999,
People
magazine voted her “Sexiest Woman of the Century.” In 2004, her estate earned $8 million, and she was sixth on the Forbes list of top-earning dead celebrities. (Elvis was first at $40 million.) Not bad for someone who’s been dead for almost 50 years.
MISS GOLDEN DREAMS
She was, of course, also an incredibly pretty face and often used that, along with her feisty sense of humor, to bolster her image. In 1952, Marilyn got her first chance to solidify that sassy “sex symbol”
image when photographer Tom Kelley sold a series of nude photographs of her to Hugh Hefner, who had a new magazine in the works:
Playboy
. The pictures had been taken in 1949, during a period when she was unemployed—Kelley paid her $50 for the photo session—and they were published first as a pin-up calendar called “Miss Golden Dreams.” In 1952, the photos resurfaced, and an anonymous blackmailer threatened to expose her as Miss Golden Dreams. Rather than deny the story or even ignore it, Marilyn took questions on the subject: When asked about being nude at the photo shoot, she said, “It’s not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” When asked why she posed for the pictures, she said, “I was hungry.”
Hefner then bought the photos and published them in 1953, in the first issue of his new magazine. One of the images—Marilyn Monroe lying on a wrinkled velvet sheet—became the first
Playboy
“Sweetheart of the Month,” the precursor to the magazine’s centerfold. Marilyn was on the cover, too.
MORE THAN JUST A BOMBSHELL
But she wasn’t content just to be just a pretty face. She once said, “Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt, and bewildered.” Monroe wanted to be considered a good actress too, and for the most part, she was. She was nominated for four Golden Globe Awards and won three times: Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy for
Some Like It Hot
(1960) and World Female Film Favorite (1953 and 1962). Sir Lawrence Olivier once remarked that she was “a brilliant comedienne, which to me means she is also an extremely skilled actress.”
“BYE, BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE”
Marilyn Monroe died on August 5, 1962, and though her death was ruled a probable suicide, rumors that she was murdered abound. But we like to remember her as a tough, talented, enduring star who, as Darryl Zanuck, the former president of 20th Century Fox said, “earned her own way to stardom.”

Other books

2 Sean Hayden by Hayden, Sean
Man at the Helm by Nina Stibbe
Dead Vampires Don't Date by Meredith Allen Conner
A Girl's Guide to Moving On by Debbie Macomber
Jailbait by Lesleá Newman