Uncle John’s Fast-Acting Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader (84 page)

BOOK: Uncle John’s Fast-Acting Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader
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5)
Federal Express

6)
Schlitz beer

7)
Hebrew National hot dogs

8)
Alka-Seltzer

9)
Morton’s salt

10)
American Express

11)
Packard

12)
Remington shavers

13)
Timex

14)
AT&T

15)
Yellow Pages

16)
Energizer batteries

17)
Marlboro cigarettes

18)
Bactine ointment

19)
Milk

20)
Cattlemen’s Beef Board

21)
Delta Airlines

22)
Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers

23)
Chrysler Cordoba

24)
General Foods International Coffees

25)
Irish Spring soap

26)
Pepsi

27)
Motel 6

28)
DuPont

There are more than half a million fast-food restaurants in China. KFC is the most popular.

FINGER LICKIN’ QUIZ

(Answers for
page 334
)

1)
Pantene shampoo

2)
Bounty paper towels

3)
Burger King

4)
Nike

5)
Underwood ham

6)
Chiffon margarine

7)
Anacin

8)
Tareyton cigarettes

9)
Braniff Airlines

10)
Alka-Seltzer

11)
Lucky Charms

12)
Hallmark

13)
Secret deodorant

14)
KFC

15)
Virginia Slims cigarettes

16)
General Electric

17)
Doublemint gum

18)
Pontiac

19)
Miller Lite beer

20)
Rolaids

21)
Lay’s potato chips

22)
Peter Paul Mounds

23)
Calgon soap

24)
LifeCall

25)
Ajax laundry detergent

26)
Coca-Cola

27)
Johnson’s baby shampoo

28)
Pillsbury Poppin’ Fresh Dough

29)
Reebok

SPELLING QUIZ

(Answers from
page 272
)

1. c)
Millennium;
2. b)
Dumbbell;
3. c)
Separate;
4. c)
Necessary;
5. c)
Minuscule;
6. a)
Accommodate;
7. b)
Liaison;
8. c)
Harass;
9. a)
Occurrence;
10. a)
Embarrass;
11. c)
Independent;
12. c)
Questionnaire;
13. b)
Broccoli;
14. b)
Recommend;
15. c)
Sincerely;
16. a)
Kindergarten;
17. c)
Supersede;
18. a)
Grammar;
19. b)
Referred;
20. b)
Immense

BRITS VS. YANKS

(Answers for
page 89
)

1
. u)
2
. h)
3
. j)
4
. r)
5
. b)
6
. q)
7. w) 8
. d)
9
. t)
10
. a)
11
. e)
12
. f)
13
. l)
14
. s)
15
. v)
16
. n)
17
. c)
18
. o)
19
. p)
20
. g)
21
. k)
22
. m)
23
. i)

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” —Mark Twain

UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER
CLASSIC SERIES

Find these and other great titles from the
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Classic Series online at
www.bathroomreader.com
. Or contact us at:

Bathroom Readers’ Institute

P.O. Box 1117

Ashland, OR 97520

(888) 488-4642

NOW AVAILABLE:

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Tees Off on Golf

by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Uncle John swings through the fascinating world of golf.

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Plunges into New Jersey

by the Bathroom Readers’ Hysterical Society
A look at the state of New Jersey through the eyes of Uncle John.

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Christmas Collection

by the Bathroom Readers’ Hysterical Society
Holiday hysterics and traditional trivia in honor of Christmas.

COMING SOON:

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Plunges into Michigan

by the Bathroom Readers’ Hysterical Society An unforgettable visit to Michigan with Uncle John.

Uncle John’s Wild and Wooly
Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!

by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute Animal antics and anecdotes that every kid will love.

To order, contact:

Bathroom Readers’ Press

PO Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520

Phone: 888-488-4642 Fax: 541-482-6159

www.bathroomreader.com

Hiya, Sam!

THE LAST PAGE

F
ELLOW BATHROOM READERS:
The fight for good bathroom reading should never be taken loosely—we must do our duty and sit firmly for what we believe in, even while the rest of the world is taking potshots at us.

We’ll be brief. Now that we’ve proven we’re not simply a flush-in-the-pan, we invite you to take the plunge: Sit Down and Be Counted! Become a member of the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. Log on to
www.bathroomreader.com
, or send a self-addressed, stamped, business-sized envelope to: BRI, PO Box 1117, Ashland, Oregon 97520. You’ll receive your free membership card, get discounts when ordering directly through the BRI, and earn a permanent spot on the BRI honor roll!

If you like reading our books...
VISIT THE BRI’S WEB SITE!
www.bathroomreader.com
• Visit “The Throne Room”—a great place to read!
• Receive our irregular newsletters via e-mail
• Order additional
Bathroom Readers
• Become a BRI member
Go with the Flow

Well, we’re out of space, and when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. Tanks for all your support. Hope to hear from you soon. Meanwhile, remember:

Keep on flushin’!

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

OUR “REGULAR” READERS RAVE!

Copyright

THANK YOU!

Contents

A NOTE FROM YOUR FAVORITE

POP-POURRI

Short

You’re My Inspiration

WORDPLAY

Short

A Lazy Lump of Cheese

Firsts

BATHROOM NEWS

Short

Bathroom Names

A BLUNDERFUL LIFE

Medium

Oops!

ANIMALS

Short

Chicken Nuggets

FORGOTTEN HISTORY

Short

Life in 1902

Medium
They Are What You Eat
Medium
Too Risky for Guinness

MOUTHING OFF

Short

There Oughta Be a Law

Medium
April Fools!

WORD ORIGINS

Medium

Word Origins

ORIGINS

Medium

Car Tunes

Flubbed Headlines
Medium
“I Spy…” at the Movies
Medium
Capital-ism
The Wright Stuff
Medium
Toy Fads

LIFE IS STRANGE

Short

Ironic, Isn’t It?

What Does it Take?
Cheddar Man

THE PRINTED WORD

Medium

A Tale of a Whale

AMERICANA

Short

Welcome to Ten Sleep

Medium
Q&A: Ask the Experts
Oprah’s Insights
Founding Fathers
It’s All About Me

CRÈME DE LA CRUD

Medium

Bad Musicals

Medium
Strange Lawsuits

TV OR NOT TV

Medium

Wacky TV

Medium
Wrong Way Corrigan
Medium
Unsung Heroes
Medium
Weird Canada
Medium
History’s Myth-Stories
Medium

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