Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader (2 page)

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Fun With Elvis

Rumors

Rumors

Mama Mia!

Revenge!

Medium

Famous for 15 Minutes

It’s a Miracle!

The Dustbin of History

Unsung Superheroes

Meet Dr. Seuss

Controversial Characters

Famous for 15 Minutes

The World’s Most Popular Twins

Barnum’s History Lesson

Unexpected Encounters

The Singing Nun

Cloudmaster Elvis

Famous for 15 Minutes

The Flying Nun

“Fortunate” Sons

Elvis: Top Gun

Long

Reader’s Article of the Year

The King of Farts

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Short

10 Candy Bars You’ll Never Eat

(Junk) Food for Thought

Candy Bits

The TV Dinner

Medium

A Slice of Life

A Food Is Born

Cold Foods

A Food Is Born

What Is SPAM?

THE LEGAL SYSTEM

Short

Looney Laws

Grounds for Divorce

International Law

Medium

Order in the Court!

Strange Lawsuits

The Cadaver Synod

Strange Lawsuits

More Strange Lawsuits

Incompetent Criminals

Long

Famous Trials: The Witches of Salem

Famous Trials: Henry Ford vs. The Chicago Tribune

WORDPLAY

Short

Definitions

Tang Twusters

Madam, I’m Adam

Cowboy Talk

Wordplay

Oxymorons

Limericks

English / Japanese Words

Blotto, Looped, Fried

Twisted Titles

Twisted Titles

Limericks

WORD & PHRASES

Familiar Phrases

Everyday Phrases

Familiar Phrases

Word Origins

Famous Phrases

Familiar Phrases

Familiar Phrases

Familiar Phrases

Word Origins

Familiar Phrases

Word Origins

Word Origins

THE NAME GAME

Short

What’s In a Name?

Familiar Names

State Your Name

Patron Saints

You’re My Inspiration

Familiar Names

Basketball Names

Myth-Pronunication

Cartoon Names

If Heartaches Were Wine

Brand Names

A Gaggle of Geese

Name Your Poison

Medium

Western Nicknames

The Months of the Year

Long

Silly British Village Names

IT’S A CONSPIRACY

Short

Caveat Emptor

Medium

Nixon’s the One?

The S&L Scandal: True or False?

Double-Cross in the Desert?

Sweetened With Fruit Juice?

Little Nariyah’s Tale

Long

Who Killed Malcolm X?

Reefer Madness

Who Killed Marilyn?

True Lies: The Tonkin Incident

Who Helped Hitler?

BUSINESS NEWS

Short

Made In America?

Three Memorable Sales Promotions

The Latest Thing

Fabulous Flops

Medium

Fabulous Flops

Give Yourself Some Credit

Promotions that Backfired

Lloyd’s of London

PRIMETIME PROVERBS

Short

Primetime Proverbs

Primetime Proverbs

Primetime Proverbs

Primetime Proverbs

Primetime Proverbs

Primetime Proverbs

Primetime Proverbs

Primetime Proverbs

POP HISTORY

Short

Parking Meter Trivia

Who Were Harley & Davidson?

Everyday Origins

Great Cars of Yesteryear

Look It Up!

Medium

What, Me Worry?

The Rock ’n’ Roll Riots of 1956

Family Holidays

Condom Sense

The Goodyear Blimp

The Whole Tooth

MTV Facts

First Reports

Origin of the “Big Three” Networks

The Toughest Town in the West

The Pencil

How to Take a Shower-Bath

POP-POURRI

Short

Where-ing Clothes

Happy Birthday!

A Toy Is Born

That’s a Load of Garbage

Lucky Strikes

Three Weird Medical Conditions

Medium

Pretty Flamingos

Innovations in Your Home

Start Your Own Country

Wedding Superstitions

Oops! Part 1

Money Facts

Oops! Part 2

The Genuine Article

The Grimm Philosophy

Diamond Voodoo

Knitting with Dog Hair

The Birth of the Comic Book

Oops! Part 3

Bad Hair Days

Pet Fads

The Jeep Story

The Barney Story

The Naked Truth

Building the Pentagon

To Shave, or Not to Shave

Long

Who Wrote Shakespeare’s Plays?

Dave Barry’s Embarrassing Moments

The Mona Lisa

It’s a Miracle!

CHILDHOOD WISDOM

Short

Go Ask Alice

Greetings From Oz

Childhood Wisdom

MOUTHING OFF

Short

Ol’ Blood ’n’ Guts

Give ’em Hell, Harry

Malcolm X Speaks

Wise Guy

Free Advice

More Free Advice

Wilde About Oscar

Oh, Kate!

According to Shaw

Miss Piggy

Sandburgisms

By George!

By George, Too

Shakespeare Sayeth

Dorothy Parker Sez

Oh No, It’s Mr Bill

Here’s Johnny

Hellman’s Laws

A Wild and Crazy Guy

Zap!

Bombeckisms

Robin’s Raving

Rosanne Sez

Sheer Shandling

Dear Abby

No Respect

Thurberisms

Dave’s World

Here’s Jay

Twain’s Thoughts

Long

Meet the Beatles

ASK THE EXPERTS

Q & A: Ask the Experts

Q& A: Ask the Experts

Q& A: Ask the Experts

Q& A: Ask the Experts

Q& A: Ask the Experts

Q& A: Ask the Experts

Q& A: Ask the Experts

HISTORICAL TIDBITS

Short

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

Food Fight!

Medium

What Really Happened in 1000 AD (Part I)?

What Really Happened in 1000 AD (Part II)?

Pirate Lore

Missed It by
That
Much

Monumental Mistakes

Long

The Truth About Pearl Harbor

SUSPICIOUS DEATHS

Medium

The Death of Jim Morrison

The Death of Warren G. Harding

Long

Elvis Lives

The Search for Amelia Earhart

The Curse of King Tut

The Death of Vicki Morgan

AMUSEMENTS

Short

April Fools!

Medium

Secrets of Disneyland

On a Carousel

It’s in the Cards

The Secrets of a Harlequin Romance

DIRTY TRICKS

Short

Dirty Tricks

Medium

Carnival Tricks

More Carnival Tricks

Long

On the Line

BEHIND THE HITS

Short

Familiar Melodies

Medium

Real-Life Songs

The “Wild Thing” Story

One-Hit Wonders

The Singing Chipmunks

Translated Hits

TV OR NOT TV?

Short

TV Theme Song Trivia

Medium

Inside “Cheers”

Inside “Jeopardy!”

A Family Affair

“The Adventures of Superman”

“The Honeymooners”

Opening Lines

“And Now for Something Completely Different”

Long

“The Avengers”

Welcome to “The Outer Limits”

Dumb TV: The Flying Nun Quiz

FILM

Short

Box-Office Bloopers

The Duke

Box-Office Bloopers II

Coolest Movie Lines Ever

First Films

Sound Effects

Medium

Inside Citizen Kane

The Godzilla Quiz

I Was a Teenage Monster Movie

Disaster Films

Disaster Films II

Accidentally X-Rated

The Dumbest Western Ever Made

Uncle John’s Golden Turkeys

Long

Star Wars

POLITICS

Short

That Was No Lady

Presidential Trivia

Democracy in Action

Medium

The TV Speech That Made a President (Reagan)

Senate Fights

The TV Speech That Made a President (JFK)

Meet Your Commie Masters

J. Edgar Hoover and the Red Menace

Other Presidential Firsts

First Ladies of Politics

Presidential Quiz

Joe McCarthy’s Joke

Politically Correct Nightmares

Long

The TV Speech That Made a President (Nixon)

JFK’s Presidential Affairs

FOREIGN LANGUAGE

Short

Bow-wow or Wang-wang?

Let Me Write Sign, I Speak English

Medium

It Loses Something in Translation

It Loses Something in Translation

ANIMAL LORE

Short

Feline Facts

The Truth About Lemmings

A Breed Apart

Medium

The Birds and the Bees

Long

A Natural History of the Unicorn

ON LOCATION

Medium

Hooray for Hollywood

The Story of Wall Street

The Story of Las Vegas

TIPS FOR TEENS

Medium

Tips for Teens

Tips for Teens

Tips for Teens

THEY WENT THAT-A-WAY

Short

The Last Laugh: Epitaphs

Last Wishes

More Epitaphs

Medium

They Went That-a-Way

ANSWERS

What Does It Say?

The Godzilla Quiz

Aunt Lenna’s Puzzles

Acronymania

Test Your “Beverly Hillbillies” IQ

Presidential Quiz

The Numbers Game

Monumental Mistakes

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON THE MILLENNIUM...

Patriotic Effort

“America must do more than the minimum on the millennium...I believe it should be celebrated with all the grandiosity, excess and overkill that we can muster. Our national pride is at stake. There is much planning to do. Why, just the logistics of recruiting and training enough Elvis impersonators boggles the mind.”

—Lewis Grossberger,
New York Times
, Aug. 14, 1989

In 2000...

“Authors of self-help books will be required to provide proof that they have actually helped themselves.”

—Jane Wagner,
Ms. magazine, 1990

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