Uncle John’s Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader® (2 page)

BOOK: Uncle John’s Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader®
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“Truth is stranger than fiction—fiction
has to make sense.”—
Leo Rosten

Hiya Sophie! Hiya Jessie!

CONTENTS

NOTE

Because the BRI understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject.

Short
—a quick read

Medium
—2 to 3 pages

Long—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required

*Extended
—for those leg-numbing experiences

BATHROOM NEWS

Short

Toilet Tech

Medium

Bathroom Feng Shui

Uncle John’s Stall of Fame

Wide World of Bathroom News

Bathroom Facts and Figures

Toilet Tech

Uncle John’s Stall of Fame

CUSTOMS & SUPERSTITIONS

Short

Cure for What Ails Ye

Circus Superstitions

Very Superstitious

Medium

The Curse of Macbeth

Long

*Palm Pilot

AMERICANA

Short

“If You Build It, They Will Come”

The Price Was Right

Long

The Real Star-Spangled Banner

*Castle Grande

ANIMALS

Short

Incredible Animal Facts

Strange Pet Lawsuits

Kitty Litter

Yuppie Puppies

It’s a Dog’s Life

Medium

Animals Famous for 15 Minutes

BLUNDERS

Short

Flubbed Headlines

What’s the Number for 911?

What’s the Number for 911?

Medium

Oops!

Unkle John’s Greatest Bloopers

Oops!

Oops!

Long

“The Blast Blasted Blubber Beyond All Believable Bounds”

FORGOTTEN HISTORY

Short

Making His Mark

Medium

Metric Clock

Dustbin of History

American Cannibal

Long

Bad Medicine

Why We Have Postage Stamps

Who Financed the Revolution?

An “Uplifting” Story

Going Postal

*The True Story of Captain Kidd

CANADIANA

Medium

Do You Speak Canadian?

They Always Get Their Man

Weird Canada

BUSINESS

Medium

Timothy Dexter: America’s Luckiest Idiot

Fabulous Flops

Long

“Thanks For Your Money, Have a Nice Day”

Behind Bar Codes

Hidden Ads

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Short

And the Weiner Is

Test Your Egg I.Q.

Eat Your Words

Medium

Are You a Tortilla Chip?

Chocolate Hall of Fame

The Food Quiz

Long

Salt Wars

*Food of the Gods

MOUTHING OFF

Short

Viva Vidal!

Will’s Wisecracks

Desmond’s Discourse

Ford’s Words

The Other Texans

The Sage of Athens

Calvin & Hobbes

High Voltaire

Not Exactly Prince Charming

William’s Wisdom

SPORTS & AMUSEMENTS

Short

Jump Rope Rhymes

Dumb Jocks

Medium

Child’s Play

Great Balls of Fore

Lunar Baseball

They Took The Plunge

Long

*The Birth of Big-Time Sporting Events

FOOTBALL

Medium

The History of Football, Part IV

Long

The History of Football, Part I

The History of Football, Part II

The History of Football, Part III

The History of Football, Part V

*The History of Football, Part VI

HOAXES

Short

Classic Hoaxes

Medium

Classic Hoaxes

You’ve Got Mail!

Urban Legends

Classic Hoaxes

LAW & ORDER

Short

Court Transquips

Looney Laws

Lawyers on Lawyers

Nude Lawsuits

Medium

Dumb Crooks

Celebrity Lawsuits

Strange Lawsuits

Dumb Crooks

Long

Strange Lawsuits

THE REEL STUFF

Short

Box Office Bloopers

Medium

Errol Flynn’s Last Stand

(Not) Coming to a Theater Near You

Video Treasures

The Biggest Cult Movie of All Time

Long

Citizen Kane

MUSIC

Short

You’re My Inspiration

Off Your Rocker

Medium

A (Bad) Night at the Opera

Behind the Hits

Uncle John’s Bottom 10 Records

Country Hits

Behind the Hits

THE NAME GAME

Short

For Your Reading Pleasure

The Name Game

Medium

Founding Fathers

See You in Hell!

PHOTOGRAPHY

Short

Camera Obscura

Medium

World’s First Photograph

Here’s Looking at You

Photography Begins to Gel

Long

“Mirrors With a Memory

Photomania

“You Press the Button, We Do the Rest”

ORIGINS

Short

Firsts

Firsts

Medium

Firsts

Automible Firsts

Firsts

MYTHS & LEGENDS

Short

Myth-Conceptions

Myth-Spoken

Medium

Aliens Strutted Around in My Wife’s Pantyhose

The Legend of King Arthur

Aesop’s Fables

Myth-America

It’s a Bust

Long

Genuine Fake: Lincoln’s Log Cabin

PHRASES & WORD ORIGINS

Short

“Hoy, Hoy”

Medium

Word Origins

What the #!&%?

Familiar Phrases

Word Origins

Making Small Talk

POP SCIENCE

Short

Random Science Trivia

What’s in Toothpaste?

Q&A: Ask the Experts

Disgusting Facts

Medium

It’s About Time

Q&A: Ask the Experts

How Soap Works

Modern Quackery

Q&A: Ask the Experts

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

PUBLIC LIVES

Short

Celebrity Gossip

Family Feud

Nudes and Prudes

Family Feud

Celebrity Gossip

Medium

Famous for 15 Minutes

The Secret Hitler File

Nudes & Prudes

Crème
de la
Crud

Family Feuds

Long

Famous for
Minutes.com

Famous for 15 Minutes

POP-POURRI

Short

Revenge!

Uncle John’s List of Sixes

If You

Three Near Misses

Uncle John’s Page of Lists

You’re My Inspiration

If You

Aunt Lenna’s Puzzler

Medium

Mow ‘Em Down

Just Plane Weird

Unusual Inventions

Underwear in the News

Dubious Achievers

*Things That Fell from the Sky

THAT’S DEATH!

Short

Famous Last Words

Ironic Deaths

Swan Songs

Medium

They Went Thataway

Rumors of My Death

The Final Edition

Rumors of My Death

They Went Thataway

POLITICS

Short

Poli-talks

Bushisms

Poli-talks

Medium

The Politically Correct Quiz

Long

*Join the Party

THAT’S LIFE!

Short

Ironic, Isn’t It?

Medium

Lucky Finds

The House Call of a Lifetime

Amazing Luck

Lucky Finds

Ironic, Isn’t It?

It’s a Weird World

It’s a Weird World

It’s a Weird World

THE WOMEN’S ROOM

Short

America’s Money Laundress

Kate’s Greats

Woman to Woman

The Birth of Scotchgard

Medium

First Ladies Firsts

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