Undeniable (8 page)

Livia was practically smothered by her family. Scotty gave her a kiss on the neck, something intimate but subtle. Then he stared at her, the pride beaming in his eyes.

My boyfriend didn’t even show up. I sat beside him on the couch, completely ignored.

“Now the photographs.” Rydell revealed them. “Let the auction begin.”

“Eight-hundred.”

“A thousand.”

“Fifteen hundred.”

I wasn’t listening. I suddenly felt alone. I was grateful my sister was here, but she was all I had. My grandmother was sick, I had no idea where my father was because he took off when I was just a year old, my mom was an alcoholic, and my boyfriend was…not really there.

“I can’t believe how much people are bidding on your photo.” Payton clapped her hands in excitement.

Huh? I wasn’t even paying attention.

“Sold to the lady in the back. Now for the next piece,
The Purple Meadow
.”

The bidding started again.

This should have been a meaningful moment in my life, something to mark the time and effort I put into getting here. I should be happy, but I wasn’t. I was depressed. I was alone. I was…hollow. I tried not to be jealous of Livia but how could I not be? She actually had a family.

When I felt the heat behind my eyes, I knew the tears were about to fall.

Damn.

I crept away from my sister so she wouldn’t notice my departure. I didn’t stay to hear the winning bid. I didn’t care. Everyone was huddled to the stage so it was easy for me to sneak out the front entrance.

Once I was outside, I inhaled the cool air. My lungs finally relaxed, and my body decreased in temperature. But I couldn’t combat the deep loss in my heart. I couldn’t deny how broken I was. Why couldn’t I have a family like everyone else? Why didn’t my parents love me? Why did Jace have to let me down all the time? Did he even care about me?

I moved to the bricks on the side of the gallery, close to the parking lot. I was hidden from view. No one would come here unless they already knew where I was. Unable to hold back the tears, they fell.

I hated crying. It was a waste of time. But sometimes it couldn’t be helped. I tried to stay strong and act like I didn’t care, but deep down inside, I was shattered into a million pieces. I tried to convince myself that I was better off without my parents anyway, but it was just wishful thinking.

The breeze moved through my hair and calmed me slightly, but the tears dripped from my eyes. I didn’t heave or sob. They just dropped down my cheek. My breathing was even, fighting the urge.

A shadow was cast over me and I realized I wasn’t alone. I didn’t look because I didn’t want to expose my face to the person.

The shadow came close until it was right next to me. Then they sat beside me on the bricks. They were wearing a suit. I didn’t look, but I could see the slacks and the dress shoes.

It was Ash.

He sat beside me and didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at me either.

I controlled my breathing and tried to blink my tears away. I held my breath for a moment so the tears would stop altogether. I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. It was one of the things I was insecure about.

“Tell me.” That was all he said. He stared straight ahead, not looking at me.

I was grateful he didn’t. I didn’t want him to. “I’m jealous of Livia.”

“Why?” His voice was even, calm.

“Because she has everything.” I hated to be a jealous person. I didn’t realize I was one until now. It’s not that she didn’t deserve to be happy. She did. She was a very sweet girl. But why were we different? Why did she have that but I didn’t?

Ash remained quiet, waiting for me to elaborate.

“She has parents who love her. They came down just to support her. Her father stared at her with pride. Her mother hugged her fondly. Her brother held her hand because he loved her. And her boyfriend…he looked at her like she was his whole world.”

His hand slowly moved to my thigh. Then his fingers slid between mine, interlocking them. It was slow and gradual, and when our hands finally locked together, I felt a little better. He dragged my hand back to his thigh and held it steady.

“My parents never wanted me. My mom abused my sister and I. She always hated us. My dad took off because he never wanted to see us again. I’ve never spoken to him. I don’t even know the sound of his voice.” The tears stopped falling but I still felt like a hollow shell. “My grandma is in the hospital. She’s a good person and doesn’t deserve to be sick. I know she hates herself for not being here.”

“But your sister came.” His voice came out as a whisper.

“I love my sister very much and I’m grateful she’s always there to support me…I just wish I had more. I wished she had more.”

His fingers slowly caressed mine.

“And Jace never looks at me that way. I’ve never felt loved the way Scotty loves her. I’ve never felt beautiful. I’ve never felt important. He always has to work, and I understand that but…he’s never around. And when he is around…he’s not.”

“Jace?”

“My boyfriend.”

His hand stilled. A minute passed without movement. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“We’ve been together for a few years… Of all people, he should understand how important this is to me. But he doesn’t care. When I asked him if he even wanted to be with me anymore, he said yes. But he still acts the same…I don’t understand.”

Ash stayed quiet but he didn’t pull his hand away from mine. “What does he do for a living?”

“He’s a firefighter. So I understand why he misses so many things. I guess I get tired of it.”

“I don’t see why that’s relevant. If you were my girlfriend, I’d make sure I was there for everything. There’s nothing I wouldn’t miss just to be with you.”

Those were just empty words.

“If he hurts you this much, you shouldn’t be with him anymore. A man should make his girlfriend feel like the most beautiful woman in the room every single day. He should shower her with affection and love. She should never question his loyalty and devotion. He should be the rock of the relationship, the solution to every problem, the crutch to every injury. He shouldn’t be the reason why a gorgeous woman is crying on a slab of bricks on one of the most important nights of her life.” His voice was quiet but it contained his rage.

“How would you know? You’ve never been in a relationship before.” It was irrelevant and I wasn’t sure why I said it. I was just upset.

“No, I haven’t. But it’s because I haven’t found a girl I’d be willing to commit to in that way. My hesitance of a relationship doesn’t make me a worse boyfriend. It makes me a better one because I actually care. Believe me, if you were mine this wouldn’t be happening right now. I’d be everything your parents never gave you. I would stand by your side and worship you every day. And I would make sure you felt beautiful every night in my bed.”

I finally looked at him, unsure what to expect.

He looked back at me, the pain in his eyes. “When you’re in pain, I’m in pain.” That was all he said.

“You hardly know me…”

His hand squeezed mine. “But you’re my friend. And I care about my friends.”

Giving into my weakness, I rested my head on his shoulder. It was nice to be comforted by someone, especially someone I never expected to care. Ash continued to hold my hand, never loosening his grip.

People started to head to their cars and drive away. We were hidden by the brick wall, unseen in the darkness. Neither one of us moved and it didn’t seem like we intended to.

My phone lit up with a text message.

Where the hell are you?
It was my sister.

I’m with a friend. I’ll catch up with you later.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I will be.

I returned my phone to my clutch.

“I don’t mind staying out here all night, but maybe we should head home.” His lips were close to my ear.

“Yeah. I’m starting to get cold.” I sat up and fixed my make up.

Ash took off his jacket and placed it over my shoulders.

“You didn’t have to do that…”

“With you, I’m always a gentleman.” He grabbed my hand and walked me to my car. “Will you be okay to drive?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” He opened the door for me. “You leave it unlocked?”

“Who’s going to steal it?” I finally smiled.

He chuckled. “Good point.” He took my hand and helped me get inside. Then he shut the door. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

I fidgeted with my keys for a moment before I started the engine. Then I drove home, letting the silence echo in my mind. The warmth from Ash’s hand still clung to mine. It seemed to be forever burned into my skin.

When I got home, Ash was already there. He was leaning against his BMW, looking clean in his suit.

I got out and he walked with me up the stairs.

“Do you want to come to my place?”

I gave him a suspicious look.

“I can make hot cocoa.”

“Hot cocoa?” That was random.

“My mom used to make it every time I had a bad day.” He shrugged. “I guess it’s a tradition I’ve held onto.”

The offer moved me. “Sure.”

He unlocked the door and we walked inside.

I wasn’t sure what to expect before I walked in. I guess I expected it to be dark and messy. There would be condoms everywhere and
Playboy
magazines. But it was nothing like that.

Brown leather couches sat in the living room. A red rug was on the floor and a cherry wood table was in the center. Pictures of his family decorated the counter. And there was a painting on the wall.

It was a young boy and girl walking hand in hand. They were on the beach, their backs to the viewer. The boy was taller and older. He carried a toy bucket and shovel. The girl wore a sundress with a hat. I recognized the brushstroke immediately. “Livia?”

He nodded. “She painted that for me.”

My heart melted just from looking at it.

“We used to be close when we were little. Actually, we’re closer now. Whenever our parents would fight, I would take her to the beach so she wouldn’t have to listen to them yell. I always thought I was being discreet about it, but she figured it out…at least I think that’s what this painting means.”

I couldn’t stop looking at it. “It’s beautiful.”

“My sister is very talented.”

I turned to him. “You’re very fond of her.”

He shrugged. “I love her. Sometimes.”

I smirked at him. “You love her. All the time.”

“You caught me.” He patted the sofa. “Sit down and I’ll get that hot cocoa for you.”

“Thanks.”

He disappeared into the kitchen then reappeared with a steaming mug. “I hope you like marshmallows.”

“I never have hot chocolate without them.” I took a sip. “It’s good.”

“I used real cocoa. Well, my mom used real cocoa. I just copy her. I always assumed I would make them for my kids so I stole her recipe.”

“Kids? You want to have kids?”

He suddenly looked uncomfortable. “I just meant if I did…”

That’s not what he said but I wouldn’t push him on it.

He stared at me from his side of the couch.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“You keep staring at me.”

“What else should I stare at?”

I guess I was used to Jace staring at the TV. I didn’t answer him and I kept drinking my warm beverage.

“Just in case you didn’t know, you did really well tonight. You sold your first photo for fifteen hundred, and
The Purple Meadow
sold for three thousand.”

I almost dropped the mug. “People actually paid that much money?”

He nodded. “Why wouldn’t they? You’re very good at what you do.”

“Wow…I could pay rent for the rest of the year with that.”

He laughed. “Maybe you should treat yourself instead. Buy a new dress or something.”

“No, I need a new lens for my camera. My old one is pretty scratched up.”

“I’m sure that stuff can be expensive.”

“It is. But I’m sure your medical stuff is too.”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

I crossed my legs and held the mug in my hands. “Why did you decide to go to medical school?”

“Well, my father is a surgeon. He had tremendous influence when it came to my life ambitions.”

“And that’s the only reason?”

“No. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to have a respectable title. I wanted to make my dad proud.”

“But you don’t want to help people?”
How could he leave that out?

“That wasn’t a driving factor until recently.”

He really did tell the truth, bluntly and with no regrets. I used to think he was a jerk but at least I always knew what he was thinking. Jace would say one thing then do the exact opposite. It made me wonder if he was lying.