Under My Skin (Skin Deep) (19 page)

Brandon
laughed as Jackson’s face brightened and a grin split his face. He threw up his hands and said, “I’m outta here! Gonna go get some food, you want anything?” He patted Jackson’s shoulder, kissed me briefly, and left the room without waiting for an answer.

I watched him go, still smiling until
Jackson cleared his throat and said, “Ahem. I’m waiting…get your sponge, woman!”

Chapter 21

“Daisy, Jr.”

I groaned. “No, Mom, I am not naming my child Daisy, Jr.”

“Okay, then how about Georgina after your father?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be? And what if it’s a boy?” I asked her, shaking my head in exasperation. This wasn’t what I had pictured when I asked her if she wanted to go to my first doctor appointment with me.
Jackson had wanted to go but, for obvious reasons, couldn’t. He would still be in the hospital for at least another few days, barring any complications.

My mom clucked her tongue at me and swatted my arm. “You wanted me to come and you know it!”

“Ughhhh…” I moaned, hiding my head in my hands. “Where’s Emma? She was supposed to be here by now…”

See? I’m no dummy. I figured my mom would end up driving me nuts, so I asked Emma to come, too. She was running late, but I knew she’d get here…she had to!

Finally, I heard the door to the office open and Emma came striding in, sitting beside me in the waiting room.  “Hey! I’m so excited! Do we get to see the little peanut today?”

I laughed at her description of the baby and shrugged. “I don’t know, guess we’ll find out.”

“So, Emma dear, how’s married life?” my mom asked her.

Emma grinned and sighed, her eyes going all dreamy. “It’s great. It’s the same as it’s been since we started living together, but I get to call him husband now!” She giggled and I rolled my eyes.

A little while later, I was holding a picture of my baby. It literally looked like a little peanut sitting in my uterus, so I guess Emma had been right with her nickname. But the doctor and the tech told me everything checked out fine, that I was progressing nicely, and I was about ten weeks along, which is a little further than I thought. So, in about six and a half months, I’d be holding a squirming little bundle of joy.

Whoa. Six months. That’s not a lot of time…God, I have a lot to do!

After running some errands to pick up some stuff Jackson had asked for, I headed back to the hospital, pictures in hand to show him. When I got in the room, Brandon was standing beside his bed and they both had serious expressions on their faces.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, picking up on the tension in the room.

Brandon turned his head away but Jacks gave me a smile and said, “Well? What did the doctor say?”

“I’m fine,” I said, brushing his question away. “Now tell me what’s going on with you two. What were you talking about when I came in?”

Brandon ran a shaking hand over his head roughly and blew out a long breath. “Allie, you know I love you, right?”

I nodded, but I could feel my stomach drop to my toes…and it had nothing to do with the baby.

He walked over to me, cupping my face in his hands. I felt tears threaten at the soft, sad look in his eyes. I shook my head no, because I knew something was coming that I wasn’t going to like.

“Baby, I love you…I do. And I know you love me. But…what you and Jacks have is something special. You love each other so much more than you and I love each other. No,” he cut me off when I tried to speak. “I’m not saying you don’t love me, and I’m definitely not saying I don’t love you. But the love we feel for each other isn’t even close to what you and Jackson share. If you’re really true to yourself, and to me, Allie, you’ll agree with me. You know it’s true. And now you’re having a kid together…and…I think it’s best if I bow out.”

“No,” I choked out, the tears falling faster now, dripping down my cheeks. “Why? Why would you do this now?”

He kissed my lips sweetly, the briefest of touches, and then sighed, pressing his forehead against mine and staring into my eyes. “This is for the best, Allie. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, and trust me…it hurts me. God, does it hurt. And don’t think that Jacks didn’t try to talk me out of this, too, because he did. That’s why we were arguing when you came in.”

I could do nothing but shake my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and wanted to plug my ears. I didn’t want to hear this…this couldn’t be happening.  “I’m so sorry I pushed you away when Jackson was hurt…I apologized for that, Brandon! Please, don’t do this!”

“Shhh…Allie…calm down, baby. I’ve already made up my mind,” he said gently. “Trust me, I think this is best for us all. But I’ll still be here for you and for the little one here.” He pulled one hand away from my cheek and laid it against my belly.  “And for Jacks. Always.”

He took a deep breath, kissed my forehead, and pulled away. “There’s a big tattoo convention out in L.A. that Luke and I have been toying with the idea of attending. I told him today that I wanted to go. I’ll be gone for two weeks or so because Chloe is going with me and we’re going to get her stuff packed up and brought back. I already hired a moving company for you two; they’re coming this weekend to move Allie’s stuff into the new house. I left you a present in one of the rooms, too.”

He turned to
Jackson. “Take care of our girl.”

Jackson
nodded, but his eyes were sparkling with emotion. “Take care of my sister…and you always have a home with us, Brandon. No matter what.”

Brandon
inclined his head, but we all knew that it would never happen. Not now that Brandon was walking away.

“This isn’t goodbye. Not by a long shot. Let’s just say we’re closing a chapter of our lives and moving on to the next. Okay?” he asked. “Take care, baby.” He reached his hand out to run it down my arm, and the minute his hand fell away from mine, I felt him distancing himself- physically and emotionally. Without another word, he turned and left.

The door closed softly behind him and the finality of that movement pierced my heart. I watched Jackson’s face, his emotions playing across his face; regret, sympathy, sadness…and love. I wiped my tears and climbed carefully into the bed beside him, sinking into his embrace with a small sob.

He held me quietly, soothing me with his presence. After a minute, I reached out for my purse and pulled out the strip of photos the ultrasound tech had printed for me. I handed them over to him and watched his smile grow un
til he was beaming with pride.

“This is our baby?” he asked reverently.

I nodded, smiling back at him. “Yep. That’s our little peanut. And he or she will be here in about six and a half months.”

“Six months?” he asked, his eyes widening.

I nodded again and he laughed in joy. “That’s great! God, Allie, I love you!”

“I love you, too, Jackson. I really do…”

My words got cut off by his lips, kissing me deeply and thoroughly until I was breathless. We broke apart only when we heard an ‘oops!’, my face flushing in embarrassment. The nurse that had popped in flushed, too, and laughed nervously until Jackson told her it was fine.

She made quick work of her rounds, excusing herself with a wry smile, and we were alone again. The silence grew and I could feel the melancholy settle over me again. Determined not to let anything bring
Jackson down, I pushed it deep and forced myself to smile, saying lightly, “Well, I guess I’m moving in with you!”

Jackson
smiled at me, but it was an uncertain smile. I did my best to let him know that I was good with moving in there. After all, it was what we had discussed to begin with, along with Chloe taking my house. The only difference was that Brandon would have been moving into Jackson’s house with us and now…I guess he’d be going back home with Luke and Emma.

Jackson and I made small talk for the rest of the evening and then I curled up with him in his bed and we fell asleep, only to be woken up early in the morning by Chloe peeking into the room. I sat up, stretching and waving her in.

She tiptoed in like she wasn’t certain of her welcome, but she’d done nothing wrong. No one had really done anything wrong, unless you count breaking up with someone out of the blue for no real reason as something wrong. Which I might…just a little.

“Good morning,” I yawned.

“Morning,” she whispered.

“Chloe, you don’t have to whisper- I’m awake,”
Jackson said, smiling and winking at his sister.

She sat down beside the bed and didn’t wait for any opening. She just blurted out, “I’m so sorry, Allie. I didn’t know that
Brandon was going to break things off with you and then just tell you he was taking me to L.A. to get my stuff. I didn’t mean anything by it when I asked him if he wanted to go with me, and it’s not like he’s actually taking me, but he said that he was going to go to the tattoo convention out there and I need to get my stuff, and there’s really no way in hell that I want to go by myself because I’m so worried that-”

“Jesus, Chloe! Breathe!” I interjected, trying to get her to slow down.

I could see the panic in her eyes and I reached out and grabbed her hand, jerking it a little until she met my eyes. Slowly, so she for sure got what I was saying, I told her, “It is not your fault. Brandon made his choice and we’re going to respect that. It hurts; Goddamnit it hurts a lot because he did this without even really talking to me about it, but it is what it is and I’m not going dwell on it. Right now I have your brother to worry about so we can get him out of this fucking hospital and back home where he belongs. And I have your little niece or nephew to worry about. Okay?”

She nodded, I think a little taken aback by my little tirade, but then she smiled. “Did you have an ultrasound? Did you get to see the baby?”

I laughed and got up off the bed to grab the pictures from my purse. I handed them to her and laughed even harder when she squealed with excitement, bouncing up and down as she looked at them.

“Mom’s going to be so excited to see these!” she said. “Have you thought about names? When will you find out what you’re having? Do you even want to know?”

Jackson chuckled and took over answering the barrage of questions she was throwing out. “No, we haven’t really had a chance to talk much about the baby beyond the fact that we are both very happy about it. I don’t know what the timeline is for finding out the sex of a baby, but I assure you that I want to know!”

“Hey!” I cried. “I want to know, too! You don’t get to be the only one to know, buster…” I mock-growled.

We had a nice visit with Chloe, but after a while she said she needed to get going. Before she left, Jackson asked if he could talk with her for a bit. I nodded and kissed him, letting him know that I was going to run home and get a shower and make sure things were going to be ready for the movers. Since Brandon was nice enough to do that for us, I wasn’t going to turn it down. I hated moving!

Once I checked on everything at home, making a list of things I’d need to do before the movers came, I headed over to
Jackson’s house to see what Brandon had left there. I walked into the empty house, moving from room to room and taking in the finished product of what Jackson had worked so hard on. With the accident and spending all my time at the hospital, I hadn’t thought much about what was happening at the house. The foreman had finished everything to Jackson’s specifications and it was gorgeous. Even empty, the house had a warm, inviting feel to it, and it felt like home.

I found
Brandon’s present in the bedroom beside the master bedroom. Sitting in the middle of the room, there was a beautiful espresso-colored wooden baby crib with matching changing table and dresser. I ran my hand over the smooth railing, smiling as I imagined the nursery all put together and ready for my baby…and then I sank to my knees on the plush carpet and, finally, where no one could see me, I dropped my head in my hands and sobbed.

Chapter 22

Emma walked beside me, laughing as she took in the huge grin plastered across my face.

“What?” I asked her, giggling at her amused expression.

“You…I swear you have sunshine rays and rainbows shooting out your ass right now!” Emma said.

“I’m happy! Is that a bad thing?
Jackson gets to come home tonight!” I squealed like a school girl, bouncing all around as we got into Emma’s car.

She’d come by the new house and picked me up to go to the hospital. Luke, Sarah, and Chloe were all meeting us there, but I wanted to get a few things done so the house would look perfect when we got home. The move had gone off without a hitch, made better by the fact that I really didn’t have to lift a finger. Emma, Chloe, Sarah, Leah, Jenna, Jan, and my mom had all come over and help me get things unpacked and situated as best as we could. I couldn’t really lift anything too heavy, just because I didn’t want to risk anything with the baby, but between the girls and then, surprisingly, the guys including Brandon, it got done a hell of a lot faster than it would have otherwise.

But now that the house was pretty much done and Jackson was coming home, it gave me the perfect excuse to throw up a few decorations for a small welcome home party. And yes, Brandon was coming to that, too. We talked a little bit…I missed him. I really did. It was hard not to run into his arms and kiss him when I saw him, and I know he struggled with it a little bit, but I wasn’t going to push it. Hopefully things will get easier because, like he’d said, we were going to be in each other’s life for a very long time.

Emma plugged her phone in to the car and turned on her music. I laughed at her when Billy Idol’s
White Wedding
began playing. “Old school, much? We can listen to this any time, but I have a new song for you. Check this one out!” I unplugged her phone and switched it out with mine, turning on the song that I’d stumbled upon by accident the other day.

“You know how much we love Halestorm…” I told her. She nodded because yes, we definitely sported girly wood for Lzzy Hale, the front woman for Halestorm. She’s badass and she’s hot, and most importantly, she fucking ROCKS!

“Well, this is
Adrenalize
by In This Moment. They’re like Halestorm on crack and not in a bad way. This bitch is badass and if you think we have girl crushes on Lzzy, just wait til you see Maria Brink in action!” I crowed, clapping my hands together.

Emma’s brows raised and I knew I’d caught her full attention. She pulled out onto the street as the song began and halfway through she handed me her phone to download it for her. “Love it!” she yelled.

We rocked out all the way to the hospital but when we pulled in, Emma looked a little bit guilty. She just shook her head when I asked her what was wrong, so I shrugged and brushed it off.

I practically skipped into the hospital, groaning in frustration when Emma told me to slow down and wait for her. She was walking like an old woman! We got into the hospital (finally) and eventually stepped into the elevator. We heard a shout and had to hold the elevator for a man rushing toward us with a huge bouquet of flowers.

I sighed as he took his time getting situated behind the flowers and then pushed no less than three buttons as he looked at the card on the flowers again and again, muttering beneath his breath when he hit the wrong ones. I rolled my eyes at Emma who smiled and started tapping her toes to the song playing. I found myself singing along in my head with Bruno Mars’
Marry You
. The song lasted through two of the three floors we had to stop at, and a new song had started when we finally got rid of flower guy and were on our way to our floor.

I glanced at Emma in surprise when the new song turned out to be
Marry Me
by Jason Derulo. I was a little confused when her eyes looked suspiciously misty, but then she started singing along to the beautiful lyrics. The elevator dinged and the doors opened; I gasped. The music was louder here, and there was a line of nurses stretching down the hallway.

Each of them held a single flower, alternating between star gazer lilies and red roses, both of my favorite flowers. They were all grinning and holding out the flowers for me to take as Emma, tears now freely flowing, pulled me down the hall toward
Jackson’s room. I took the flowers, thanking the women distractedly as we walked until we turned into the doorway of his room.

The door was open and Emma pushed me through to see Brandon, Luke, Sarah, and Chloe standing in a line, but I didn’t see
Jackson anywhere. As the chorus started again, each of them held up a sign with one word on it as it was being sung…

Brandon
’s:
Will
; Luke’s:
You
; Sarah’s:
Marry
; and Chloe’s:
Me
?

OHMIGOD! I clapped a hand over my mouth in shock and my eyes welled with tears.

As soon as Chloe’s sign went up, they parted in the middle and there was Jackson, sitting in a wheelchair and holding up a ring box…

Emma pushed me forward and I spared her a glance, my eyes widening and more tears flowing as I noticed that my parents, my grandparents, and Emma’s whole family were crowding the room behind me. I turned back to
Jackson and stepped towards him on unsteady feet. The song finished and silence fell. It was so quiet that it seemed like everyone was holding their breath to hear what would happen next.

“Allie…”
Jackson said. “I love you. We’ve known each other for a relatively short time, and have been together even shorter…but I know you’re it for me. You are The One. We’ve had an unconventional relationship-” he paused when a couple people hooted over that (namely Calland and my Nanny), “but I wouldn’t change a thing. Everything that has happened with the accident and all, well, it made me realize that tomorrow isn’t promised. But if I were to die tomorrow, God forbid, I would go happy knowing that I’ve loved and been loved perfectly. Because that’s what I have with you. A love that’s messy, fun, true, and so imperfect…that it’s perfect. We fit. And you’re having my baby!”

He grinned up at me and I dropped to my knees in front of him, careful of his still casted leg.

“So, Allison Anne McCormick, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” he asked, the hope and love he felt shining so brightly in his face that it took my breath away.

I couldn’t help but glance at Brandon before I answered…and I smiled softly at him when he nodded and winked, his face showing just a hint of sadness, but it was overshadowed greatly by the happiness and yes, even love I saw there.

I turned back to Jackson and gave him the only answer there could ever possibly be. “Yes. YES!” I cried, laughing through my tears as the room erupted with cheers and applause. My hand shook as I held it out for him to slip the ring on my finger, and I gasped as I finally paid attention to what it looked like. It had a good size cushion cut center diamond surrounded by small round diamonds, with two smaller cushion cut diamonds on either side of that, and the whole band was set with a double row of small round diamonds. It was absolutely breathtaking.

Once the ring was on my finger,
Jackson hauled me into his lap, settling me carefully before he kissed me deeply, pulling back only to whisper, “
I love you, Allie
.”

“
I love you, too, Jackson
,” I whispered back, claiming his lips with my own.

Later that night, after the welcome home party, Jacks and I were cuddling on my couch now situated in our new living room in front of the stone fireplace and I was holding my finger up, completely infatuated with staring at my ring.

Jackson chuckled and hugged me close to him, kissing the side of my head. “I’m glad you like it, baby.”

“I do! But how the hell did you pull all that off?” I asked him.

“Well, I said I wanted to talk to Chloe the other day…” he shrugged. “She helped me set it up. But, ah…Brandon picked out the ring and got it for me.”

My jaw dropped, literally, brows raised until they probably met my hairline (not really, but that’s how surprised I was). “What?” I gasped.

Jackson nodded. “I called him and talked to him about what I wanted to do. It didn’t feel right, you know, wanting to propose with everything that had just happened, but…I didn’t want to wait anymore. He and I had talked about what would happen in the future with the three of us and I had told him then I wanted to marry you. I…I know that him breaking things off was sudden and out of the blue, but I did talk to him about that, too. That’s what we were arguing about the day it happened. I didn’t want him to do it, because I know you love him. And I know it wasn’t easy to move so fast with all this, especially with him standing there but not being a part of it. I’m so sorry for that, baby.”

He sighed, and his tone was resigned when he continued. “He wasn’t going to change his mind, but he wanted to be there for when I asked you. He said he’d need to be there to show you that it was okay.”

“He was right. I don’t think I would have been able to do that without him there. It’s so weird, isn’t it? That he’s not here with us? I mean, we didn’t all spend all of our time together all the time anyway, but…it was just us. We were happy, right?” I asked cautiously.

I had been happy…was happy.
Am
happy. But I still wondered if maybe there was something I had missed that made Brandon walk away from me, something I had done.

“Yeah, baby, we were happy. He was happy, I promise. But now we’ll just have to concentrate on other things…” He waggled his eyebrows exaggeratedly, which made me laugh.

“Oh, yeah?” I asked, still laughing. “And just what else are we supposed to be concentrating on?”

He shrugged and replied, “Oh, I don’t know…wedding bells, baby names…and hot monkey sex!”

Did he just? Yup, he did. I lost it, laughing so hard I snorted. “Hot monkey sex?” I cried. “Jesus, Jackson what a way to turn someone on!”

He narrowed his eyes at me and growled before his hands were on my sides, tickling me mercilessly. “Okay! Okay! Ohmigod! Stop!” I barked out between bouts of laughter. I could hardly catch my breath and my stomach hurt from laughing.

I ended up sprawled across his lap, trying to breath normally again as he looked down at me fondly. He softly traced his fingers across my forehead, pushing my hair out of my face as he smiled tenderly at me. And just like that, the mood changed…desire pooled between my thighs, and my body ached for his touch.

It had been so long since we’d been together like this and I wanted him more than I wanted my next breath. I carefully sat up, maneuvering around until I straddled his thighs, taking care not to put too much weight on the casted leg propped up on the ottoman in front of him. “You sure you’re up to this?” I asked him softly.

He nodded and I leaned in to trace his bottom lip with my tongue. He moaned as I nipped his lip with my teeth and the sound set me off. The kiss turned wild, tongues, teeth, and lips tangling as we ate at each other’s mouths.  Hands flew in a frenzied rush to remove clothing until I was naked and straddling his lap again, although we compromised on Jackson’s basketball shorts and just shoved them down far enough to let his jutting hardness spring free.

I wrapped my hand around him, stroking him firmly before teasing him by rubbing the head of him over my slick folds, shivering at the feel of his silken, heated flesh against mine.

“Inside,” he gasped, the rock hard length of him throbbing in my hand.

I moved my hand, dragging the tip of him through my wetness and positioning him at my entrance, sinking down slightly. We both groaned as he breached me, and I pushed myself down to take him deep inside my body. When I was fully seated on him, I brought my hands up and braced them on the back of the couch, arching my back and grinding against him.

“Are you okay?” I gasped, wanting to make sure I wasn’t hurting him.

He nodded, his hands grasping my waist and grinding me even harder against him. When I let out a guttural cry, his fingers tightened, gripping my hips almost painfully as he began to move me up and down on his shaft. I let him move me for a minute before I took over, rolling my hips as I moved up and slamming myself back down, loving the gratifying sound of flesh slapping flesh, the feel of the heavy sac hanging between his thighs smacking against my ass.

I felt that familiar wave building, taking me higher and higher as I moved faster and faster over him; I knew this time wouldn’t last very long for either of us because we were wound so tightly with desire, and two thrusts later, Jackson was spilling himself inside me, triggering my own toe-curling orgasm.

I collapsed forward, leaning heavily into his chest and burying my face in the crook of his neck as I tried to catch my breath. He peppered the side of my neck and the curve of my shoulder with kisses and small love bites as his hands smoothed down the bare expanse of my back.

“Fuck, I missed that!” Jackson growled.

“Hey!” I cried, sitting back to look him in the eye. “Is that all you missed?”

He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. “No, baby. I missed all of you, but I especially missed the feel of your tight, hot, wet little-”

“
Jackson!” I interrupted him, laughing at his words even as my face turned red.