Under Pressure [IAD Agency] (Siren Publishing Classic) (10 page)

Hesitating slightly, she took another deep breath. She made the mistake of looking over at her big brother and felt her throat close up. “I…something…” As hard as she tried, the tears she had held back welled up and threatened to spill. She stole a quick glance at Jason and felt another dream slipping from her fingers. She looked up at Tony and whispered, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“It’s all right, sweetheart. Take your time.” Tony put his arm around her. “Do you want me to tell it?”

“What—” Sal started to ask but was cut off by Danny.

“For once in your life just shut the fuck up and listen.”

“No, I have to do this.” Taking a deep breath, she rubbed her cheeks with her hand and began. She steadied herself, looked at Jason. He sat there, patiently, watching her with eyes like dark silver pools she could drown in. The spark between them was electric, and she forced herself to stop being a coward. “I used to be a chef. I think I mentioned it…”

“I remember,” Jason’s deep voice rumbled, encouraging.

“Yeah, well, that was before…” Her eyes darted to take a quick look at Sal’s impatient face then back down to her hands. “I had a stalker. His name was…is Victor Dane.”

Jason’s breath left in a rush like someone had sucker punched him. Just watching her sitting there, so little and pale, made every instinct inside Jason go on red alert. Fury filled him at the word
stalker
, and he knew, he knew whatever was coming next was going to be bad. The thought of a man scaring her, stalking her, made him want to roar with rage. His stomach clenched as she continued, and he forced himself to be patient during the telling.

Bella’s voice got soft, almost a whisper as the images of that night came back. “I’m sorry. I wanted to be the one to tell you, Sal. He broke into my suite at the hotel and attacked me. He…I…I can’t. I thought I could, but…I’m sorry I can’t. Tony, you tell it. Please, I can’t.” Her voice hitched, lost in the memories. Unable to look at anyone, Bella ran from the room. Liz got up and went after her.

Silence filled the room so thick it was as if the men were held captive by it.

Tony downed his own drink before he continued the story.

“He cut her up with her own knives. Told her she was his and that if he couldn’t have her, no one would. He stabbed her twice. We…we thought she had died. And he fucking escaped.” His eyes opened, blazing with unchecked fury. “He’s still out there, he hasn’t been caught yet.”

“She’s not over it.” Danny’s ragged voice took over. “She survived, but that night…that night he took a part of her. He didn’t just…She was raped.” His eyes bore into Sal’s. “She hardly leaves here, afraid to go out. Thinks she can’t be a chef anymore because she can’t use her right hand fully. He destroyed her.”

“Screw that, he didn’t destroy her. Bella has worked hard to get her life back. She’s come so far,” Tony declared harshly. “We’re helping her get her life back.” He took a shuddering breath. “But the nightmares…shit. They make
me
want to throw up after she has them. She can’t sleep without the nightmares. She screams…” His voice trailed off as he shook his head.

“I…” Sal breathed out, unable to form a thought. Letting out a stream of curses, he flung himself up off the couch. Rage made it necessary to move. Before anyone could move, Sal put his fist through the wall. Breath heaving, he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

“Well, that was special,” Danny said, trying for levity.

Tony shot him a look meant to shut him up before giving Sal his own glare. “You are so going to fix that later.”

“I wasn’t here! I wasn’t fucking here. How could this happen?”

Danny leaned back on the couch watching Sal pace the room like a tiger in a cage. “We think Dane tried to kill Bella’s assistant, too. He was hit by a car, a hit-and-run the night before the attack on Bella. The crazy fucker thought they were lovers. Tony and I tried to track this guy, but we haven’t been able to find him. Must have changed names and we can’t trace him. He had pictures of her. Millions of them. He must have been taking them for months. His apartment was a freaking shrine of Bella. The guy is seriously crazy.”

“What he is, is a dead man. He can’t hide, I’ll find him, and I’m going to rip his fucking heart out. I’ll tear his goddamn head off. No, I’m gonna cut every one of the motherfucker’s body parts off and then grind them into pieces,” Sal vowed, shaken to the core.

“Our brother, the poet,” Danny said dryly.

“Shut up, Danny.”

“There is nowhere,
nowhere
that we can’t find him. You or me, either way we end him.” Jason soft, menacing reply had Sal’s eyes locking onto Jason’s cold deadly stare. If his mind wasn’t clouded with anger and anguish at what he had just heard, even he would have been frightened. Staring at Jason was like looking at vengeance in the flesh, the cold, hard promise of death.

Sal’s fists clenched and released over and over again until finally he nodded. Between the two of them and with IAD involved, Victor Dane was a dead man walking.

Jason felt sick. The burning rage boiled in his veins like a sickness. The consuming need to kill this Victor Dane made it hard to breathe. Visions of murder danced evilly in his head. The desire to kill was so thick he could all but taste it. Never before had he actively wanted to kill another person so badly that his entire body shook with the need. He had killed a lot of people during his career. It was part of the job, but he knew, deep in his soul that he would never rest until he had taken this Victor Dane off the face of the earth.

He rose soundlessly to follow after Bella.

Tony half rose off his seat in protest, but even he was unsettled at the suppressed rage burning in Jason’s usually cold gray eyes. Those eyes that now swirled like liquid hellfire. Jason’s determined voice declared with absolute conviction that he was going to Bella.

“She needs me.”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“She chose me. Respect that.”

Tony’s jaw clenched, but he made no move to stop Jason. Sal stepped in his way, and the two men stared each other down. Sal’s red eyes burned like a demon’s and met Jason’s silver ones dead-on. “You’re thirty-seven, Mac. She’s not even thirty yet. You’re too old for her.”

Jason’s expression didn’t change.

Sal glared at him then in a low voice whispered, “By God, man, if you fuck with her—”

“I won’t. She’s important to me. She’s safe, and she’ll stay that way. That’s a promise.” Sal took a minute, and then he sighed and stepped aside to let him pass.

Going to the kitchen on silent feet, Jason saw she wasn’t there. Seeing an opened door, he looked out to see Bella sitting on an enclosed porch with Liz, silently weeping into her hands.

The ice surrounding his heart shattered into a million pieces as he watched her. Jason quietly opened the door and went to her, barely making a sound. Before she could react, he had lifted her up and sat down, cradling her in his lap as he pulled her head to his chest.

“Go on, lass. Cry, darlin’. I’ll hold you, just let go and hold on to me. I’ll keep you safe.” She didn’t want to, but she sobbed, burrowing into his chest and wept the pain away.

Liz watched him silently and Jason met her stare unblinking. She watched as the large man holding her friend whispered words of love against her temple as he stroked his hand over her hair soothingly. Liz finally gave him a small sad smile and reached out to squeeze his shoulder as she got up and left.

Long minutes passed before Bella took a deep shuddering breath and tried to regain control as her sobs receded. She inhaled Jason’s scent, breathing him in deeply, knowing that this was probably the last time. Trying to sit up, she pushed back, only to have his strong arms pull her closer to him, settling her once again against his warmth. “I’m sorry. Thank you. Jason…I’m sorry, for the other night, for everything. I panicked. I—”

“You don’t have to explain. Sweet lass, I’m sorry I pushed you, too fast…too soon.” His voice was quiet as he kissed her forehead gently while his hands rubbed her back in soothing strokes. It was as if he held something precious, and it made the tears shimmer in her eyes once more.

“I…appreciate what you said to my brothers earlier. But you must realize that can’t happen. I…I’m not the person you thought I was. I’m not…I can’t have a normal relationship with you.”

Jason looked down at her, a fierce frown creasing his strong face, jaw clenched, making him look like a warrior of old. “Sweetheart, I see you. Do you think what you just told me changes how I feel? Yes, it does change something.” Bella tried to move off his lap again, but he held fast. “Quiet now. It did change us. Normal? Do you think I’m normal? People say I’m a cold, unfeeling bastard. A machine with no emotions. I usually am, but with you I’m different.” His voice was rough with emotion.

“You make me feel. I was angry when you left the other night. Hell, I was livid…maybe even hurt. That’s a first for me. I dinna want to admit what you made me feel. But now, now I understand, and I’m not mad anymore. Not at you. Now I’m furious, but at the bloody fucking bastard that dared to hurt you. Not at you. Never at you.”

He pushed her head back down on his chest. His hands stroked over her back, pulling her closer as if he could pull her into him, into the shelter of his own body. With a heavy sigh, he forced himself to continue.

“I tried to forget you, but I couldn’t. I made the decision to find you. This past week I wanted you, wanted to see you, touch you, taste you, just you, no other. That was before I knew. Now, I want all those things and more. I want to hold you close, keep you safe with me. I want to be the one you turn to when you cry, calm you when the nightmares come. I can’t explain it. I don’t know if I can. I don’t think I even understand it, but I need you to be safe, here where I can feel you. Just be with you.”

His deep voice comforted her in a way she had never known.

Jason pressed his head down on the top of hers, stroking his hand slowly over her back. “Sparks flew between us from the first, love. You may have just melted my ice with your fiery spirit, and now I crave more. Make me burn, lass. Don’t give up on us.” He lifted her chin to rub his lips slowly over hers. Moaning, she put her arm around his neck and gave into the sensations.

Lost in longing, Bella stretched toward him wanting more of his taste, more of everything. She opened her mouth slightly and was immediately rewarded as Jason’s tongue stroked in. His tongue danced with hers in a soft, slow mating, making her sigh with pleasure. Finally she pulled back to look at him. He gave her a small smile that made her heart speed up.

“I…I have scars.”

“You show me yours, and I’ll show you mine,” he whispered back, causing her to let out a startled giggle. The low, husky sound of her laugh sent a shiver down Jason’s spine.

“I didn’t think you would want me still…after you knew.” Bella almost cringed at the dark look on Jason’s face.

“You don’t think much of me.”

Shaking her head, Bella stroked a hand over the side of his face lovingly. “I think of you too much,” she confessed in a shaky whisper.

Bella had to hold back a yelp as Jason’s arms tightened around her. “Never too much.”

“We must both be crazy or something.” She sighed, putting her head back against his chest. “I really don’t even know you, but I feel safe with you.”

He surrounded her with his strength, and a deep pleasure coursed through him at hearing those simple words from her. Knowing what that had cost her meant more than anything.

“We should go back in. I have to face my brothers at some point.”

Reluctantly, he let go of her and helped her stand. He kept her right hand in his, his thumb brushing softly over her scar. “By the way, how old are you?”

She stopped in surprise. “I’m turning thirty in a few months. Why, how old are you?”

“Thirty-seven. Does that bother you?” He smiled at her obvious confusion.

“No. Should it?”

He murmured
no
as he bent to press another soft kiss on her lips. They continued on into the kitchen when he stopped again, and she turned around to look up at him in question.

“I’m staying with you tonight.”

She paused to nibble on her bottom lip.

“If you don’t want to be with me, then tell me so and I will respect your wishes. But I am still going to make sure you’re safe. Until this bastard is dead, I am going to be camped on your couch or outside your apartment. I’ll sleep in my car if I have to.”

Seeing the determination on his face, she hesitantly nodded and whispered, “Stay with me.” Jason leaned down to kiss her once more before stroking his hand tenderly down the side of her face.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not ever again.”

Bella walked into the great room holding Jason’s hand in a show of solidarity. She doubted that he knew what it had meant to her for him to come to her after what he had just learned. Holding his strong hand in her slight one, she knew she was showing her family what he meant to her.

Liz was looking at the rest of the group like she wanted to strangle all three of her brothers, and it was obvious that her brothers had been arguing amongst themselves since Bella had left the room.