Under Your Skin (29 page)

“Did you wrap that yourself?”

“Yes. I bought it myself too.”

“What is it? Wait. Don't tell me.” She grabbed the present and shook and squeezed it. “Boy or girl?”

“Girl.”

She smirked. “Too easy. It's a Barbie doll.”

“Bad choice?”

“I don't know. Does she like Barbies?”

“Hell if I know. I haven't seen her in a long time.”

Norah rolled her eyes. “That's why you ask before you go shopping. At least it looks pretty.”

“I'm sure that'll make a difference to Ruby.”

“You'd be surprised.”

He got out of the car and met her on the curb. He took her hand again. “I'm really glad you're here with me.”

She nodded. Even without the physical distance, she was holding back.

“Do you regret saying yes?” he asked.

“I'm not sure.”

Well, hell. That wasn't what he'd hoped to hear.

She took a deep breath and stared at the ground.

“Say the word and I'll take you back home. I'll hate it, but I'll do it.”

She shook her head, focus still on her feet.

“What is it?”

“I said yes like it was automatic, and then I started to think.” She looked up to face him. “I want this. Almost too much. If I jump into your arms, what's to say you won't push me away again? What's so different?”

Her voice was quiet with her questions, but her eyes, as always, held strength and determination. And a bit of fire.

“I didn't come to you just because I missed you.” He turned and leaned against the car beside her. “I talked to Rooster. He asked for money and I told him no. It was the first time I've ever turned him away, but it felt right. For the first time a weight was lifted off me. Like I was finally free.”

“I wasn't looking for you to dump your friend for me.”

“I did it for me. Even if you walk away from me right now, I won't be looking for Rooster. He was the one part of my life I hadn't moved on from. I wasn't ready. Or I didn't have a reason to.” He bit his lip and looked down the street at all the SUVs and minivans lining the street. Flowers on the doorsteps, kids yelling and playing tag. Suddenly he had so much he wanted to say to Norah, but the old frustrations boiled up.

“You okay?”

He turned back to her. “You make me feel like a stuttering first grader.”

A hint of a smile lifted the corner of her mouth. “I don't know if I should be flattered.”

He caressed her cheek. “You should. I have so much I want to say, but the words won't come out right.”

“I can be patient.”

He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, which balanced him. “Jaleesa told me I compartmentalize too much. I had work, hockey, and home. Nothing overlapped. Until you. It bothered me at first, but then . . .”

“Then what?”

“I started to look forward to seeing you all over. I was afraid Rooster would screw up your life like he had mine.” He shook his head. “No. I made my own choices and I've lived with the consequences, but Rooster was a constant reminder. I didn't want that around you.”

“I'm not sure I understand. You cut Rooster out of your life and that's supposed to give me comfort that you won't run away or push me away again?”

He could admit maybe it didn't sound logical, but to him, it made sense. “That's part of it. The other part is taking down the walls of the compartments. Coming to this party is the first step. The only time I saw Carlos was at our poker games. Now I'm going to a family party.”

“With me.”

“With you because you're part of my life. At least I hope so.”

His explanation seemed to work because a smile eased across her face. “Why did you sell Tommy your poker table?”

“I won't need it anymore.” He pushed off the car. “You ready to go in?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

Norah held Kai's hand and absorbed everything he'd said. She couldn't imagine anyone making life changes for her. She hadn't expected that. She sure as hell hadn't expected him to talk that much, to really open up. “I like it when you talk to me,” she said as they climbed the steps to Carlos's house.

“It ain't easy.”

His honesty made her laugh. “For the record, I like the quiet and brooding too. It's hot.”

Carlos answered the door and greeted them. “It's good to see you again, Norah. Glad you made it, Kai. You guys are just in time for the piñata.” He held up a princess castle piñata.

Norah and Kai followed him through the house and to the backyard. He swung the rope over a tree branch and then looked at Kai. “Will you do the honors?”

“What?” Kai looked worried.

“Hold the rope so the kids can swing at the piñata.”

Kai took the rope from Carlos. Carlos called a bunch of kids over. Judging by their size Norah guessed they were six or so. Carlos blindfolded the first girl and handed her a bat. As he began to spin her, Kai called out, “Hey, they're coming at me blindfolded and swinging a bat. How is that an honor?”

Carlos laughed. “You're a big boy. You can handle it.”

Norah laughed along with him as Kai lowered the piñata and tried to keep a safe distance. A woman walked up next to Norah and said, “Hi, I'm Maria, Carlos's wife. I don't think we've met.”

“Hi, I'm Norah. I came with Kai.” She pointed to him in case Maria was unaware who he was, which seemed silly.

“It's so good to meet you.” She embraced Norah as if they were long-lost friends. “Carlos told me about you. How good you are for Kai.”

Norah didn't know how to respond. She'd only met Carlos a couple of times. What could he know about her?

“Don't look so shocked. Carlos tells me everything. And if you're the reason Kai finally came over, I know you're special.”

“I don't know about that. I think he planned to come even if I didn't.”

“Well, I'm glad you're here. Can I get you a drink?”

Norah looked at the cup in Maria's hand. “I'll have whatever you're having.”

“Spiked punch it is.” She tilted her head and Norah followed her back into the kitchen.

Spiked was a bit of an understatement. It tasted like more alcohol than juice, but it was good. The piñata didn't last long, but the contents kept the kids occupied for a while. Norah enjoyed the buzz of noise in the house from the party. Kai had come back in from the yard and came straight to her.

“Having fun?”

“Yeah.”

He stood beside her without touching her. They walked through the buffet line to load up plates of food and Norah ate until she thought she might burst. She saw a different side to Kai during the course of the party. He was a little more relaxed. That was probably because he knew more people than he said he would. In addition to Carlos, both Dean and Eric came with their wives.

In some ways, Norah felt left out. These people had known each other forever and she had none of the experiences or memories they had. But it wasn't bad. Everyone shared stories and made her laugh. As the party wound down, the drinks were flowing, and the kids settled in the living room to watch a movie.

Carlos walked the room and called the adults out to the yard to sit around a small fire pit. Norah stopped at the bathroom and by the time she made it to the yard, no chairs were left. Kai moved to stand to give her the one he was in, but instead, she pressed on his shoulders and sat on his lap. “It's okay, right?”

“Yeah.”

She didn't think it was her imagination that his voice was gravelly as her butt connected with his thighs. She shifted so she could see the others in the group. There were a few people she hadn't met yet, but Kai's poker friends were familiar.

“Gonna miss those poker games,” Dean said. He pointed at Kai. “You've been on a hell of a losing streak.”

Norah listened and realized Kai had sold the poker table because he canceled the game with his friends. She swiveled to look at him, and he hissed before sliding her closer to his knees. “You're not going to play poker anymore?”

“No.”

Like that was some kind of explanation. “Why not?”

“Making changes.”

She lowered her mouth to his ear. “I don't expect you to give up your friends and time with them. That's not how this works. Look around. All of these guys are married or have girlfriends and still made it to poker.”

“I know.”

A grunt of frustration bubbled up in her throat. “This doesn't qualify as talking.”

He closed his eyes slowly, like he needed to concentrate. He wasn't drunk. She'd only seen him have a single beer before dinner. When he reopened them, he simply said, “It's time to go.”

She stood, a little shocked that he'd gotten pissed off because she wanted to talk, but she said nothing as they said good-bye to everyone and thanked Carlos and Maria for having them. Kai was suddenly in a rush, tugging her down the gangway toward the front of the house.

Norah yanked her hand back. “What the hell is going on?” Her voice was quiet but sharp. She didn't want to draw attention from the yard.

“What?” He turned back to where she stood waiting for answers.

“I thought we were having a good time. But you barely touched me all night and when I point out all you're offering are one-word answers, you bolt.” As she spoke, her anger crept up. “I guess things aren't all that different after all.” She stepped forward to move past him. “Take me home.”

Kai didn't let her get far. He grabbed her arms and spun her until her back was against the side of the house. His nostrils flared with his breath. “I'm trying to change. For you.”

She clenched her jaw. He could go ahead and be mad.

He braced one hand against the brick near her head. “I barely touched you tonight because I want you to know that this is about more than sex for me. Not touching you is hard.” His other hand landed on her hip. His fingers flexed. “I couldn't offer you more than one-word answers because you were sitting on my lap making my dick hard.”

That made Norah smile and her anger eased a little. She tilted her head up and kissed his jaw. “Then why run out?”

“Because I want you.”

His words were strangled and his fingers dug into her hip giving her a thrill. She pushed her hips into him. “So take me.”

He growled and lowered his mouth to hers. It was fast and hard and hot. Barely restrained. And Norah wanted this with him. They kissed and stroked and breathed together in the gangway between the houses until loud laughter from the yard reminded them of their location. Kai pulled back.

He ran a thumb over her lips, her jaw, and down her throat until his palm rested against her rapid pulse. Her hands were fisted in his T-shirt. They stared at each other in the dark, breathing heavily.

“I really like doing that with you.”

He grinned. “Feeling's mutual.”

“But sometimes, I need the words, too.”

“Understood.”

She arched an eyebrow at his answer.

He chuckled and stepped back, taking her hand. As he led them to his car, he said, “I canceled the poker game and sold Tommy the table because it was a way to move on. Carlos and Dean and Eric? They're not like Rooster any more than I am, but I kept them all in the same box. I avoided things like this party because I didn't want to extend any part of my old life into my new one. A poker game at my house was contained. Limited.”

Norah listened to everything he said. It made sense, even if a bit extreme. “But you're not cutting out all your friends?”

“No. I invited the guys to come to the hockey game next weekend.”

“Really?” She loved the idea that for a change, he'd have people in the stands cheering for him.

“I told you I was going to prove I want you in my life.” He opened the door and waited for her to climb in. When he got behind the wheel, he said, “You need a lot of people in your life. You don't belong hiding out in my living room or in my bed.”

He started the engine. Norah twisted in her seat. “But you don't.”

“Don't what?”

“Need a lot of people.”

“I've always had these people in my life. A lot of them when I really sat to think about it. But they never knew each other. Now they will.”

One thing Norah realized about Kai was that although he wasn't naturally much of a talker, he definitely knew what to say when he did. “I never considered it hiding out, Kai. I waited in your living room or in your bed because I want to be with you.”

He gripped the wheel tightly. “The only way for me to make this work, to make change happen, is to go all the way. If I give myself an out, I might take it. It's how I got out of the gang. Everything has to change at once or it might not happen.”

The pieces fell into place for her. He'd changed as much about his past life as he could. Except Rooster. “The poker game was your out.”

He nodded. “When I went to jail, I felt like I lost everything. When I got out, I kept all the parts of my life separate, so if I screwed up in one area, I could still hold on to the rest.” He reached over and stroked her cheek. “I want you to be part of all of it.”

Between the touch and the words, all she could do was smile.

He pulled out and started driving. She reached out and put a hand on his thigh. “You know, I normally don't put out on the first date, but given the circumstances, I think an exception is in order.”