Undercover (7 page)

Erica smiled. “Mine said the same thing.”

“That doesn’t just happen, Erica.”

“No, it doesn’t.” A million things went through her mind. He was a member of The Mercenaries and she a sworn enemy of gangs, yet here she was about to reveal to him her deepest, most private scar. She thought about her job and how anything she said could jeopardize the case and her career. But when she looked into his eyes, she saw a man who cared about family and loyalty, a man who worked hard and tried to do right by the people around him. She saw a man she could love. "I had a sister. She died when she was seven. I was only nine at the time but I watched her die." She took a deep breath, surprised by the sudden sting of tears. She held up her hands to stop the sympathy he was about to voice. "That has a way of adding years to the soul."

****

On Tuesday morning, shaving cream filled Erica's locker. Compliments of LeAnn, she assumed. The girl was creative for sure. If Erica were an actual teenager in school dealing with the likes of LeAnn, she would be hating life. But since she had the advantage of age, and knew life didn't end by a cruel word form the popular girls, Erica brushed it off.

Things were better between her and Joey. They were talking and hanging out again, but an underlying tension persisted. His sudden switch from going home after school to hanging out at Hufferman's house worked to her advantage, but concerned her. Drugs were readily available and while she hadn't seen Joey do anything more than smoke a joint and drink a few beers, she had to wonder what went on when she wasn't around.

Huff made no secret of his interest in her. She didn't turn him away but didn't lead him on either. Erica knew the rumor echoing through the halls declared she and Huff an item, and doubled as a warning that she was off limits.

Instead of deterring Ricky Sanchez, it drew him in like a baited hook, but caught Erica unprepared at her locker Thursday afternoon. Ricky approached while his Hell Boys formed a semi-circle around them to keep others away. His arrogance sent the burn of disgust swirling through Erica’s gut.

"If yo wanted a real man, yo should have looked me up." He had a deep voice and a thick dialect as if he had a mouth full of shit. His blue and silver ball cap sat with the bill facing backwards on his shaved head. He smelled of cigarette smoke and expensive cologne.

She wondered if he used a generous amount to cover up the potent odor of marijuana, but then figured he wouldn’t care about something like that. He just preferred to smell good.

Erica tried for an indifferent attitude when she spoke. “When you didn’t look me up, I figured you weren’t interested. Besides, your girlfriend warned me off.”

“D’at bitch ain’t got no say over what I do.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She tilted her head at a slight angle and gave him a devious grin.

“When yo get bored wid' da’ kids, come find me on the strip.” He grabbed the front of his baggy, low hung jeans in the vicinity of his crotch. A couple of his boys snickered.

“I’m bored.” She leaned toward Ricky, dropping her voice to a husky whisper. “Can you hook me up?”

He flashed a smile as he stepped closer, pressing her back against the locker, his mouth next to her ear and his hand on her waist. “Damn straight.” He slipped a hand under her shirt and placed a small packet into the waistband of her jeans. “A small sample, on da house. If you want more, I'm sure we can work out a deal to benefit us both.” He moved his hand further up the inside of her shirt, covered her breast and squeezed. Revulsion quivered through her body. “Like d'at, do yo?”

“Biatch walkin’,” one of his boys said.

Still smiling, Ricky removed his hand and stepped back.

“What the hell are you doing Ricky?” LeAnn barreled through the line.

“Don’t come at me jappin off, bitch. It’s bizness.” Ricky grabbed LeAnn’s arm and spun her away from Erica, pulling her along as he strutted down the hall.

****

Erica reported in via cell phone and arranged to hand off the small packet to a narcotics agent at the CVS on the corner of Elm and Dixie. They would test the drugs for identification and purity.

She had no doubt the thumbnail amount of white power was pure. A good businessman, after all, gave out his best samples first to get the client hooked.

There was relief at having identified their dealer. While the Mercenaries used drugs, she didn’t have any evidence they were selling on school grounds or anywhere for that matter.

She knew she shouldn’t care which gang went down. Stopping the drugs from entering the school was the most important aspect, but she did care. Joey mattered and so did Derrick. More than they should.

Grabbing her basketball and a sweatshirt, she headed down to the community park to shoot some hoops. The daylight hours held on like a lifeline to the dwindling warmth, but the nights turned cold with fall speeding toward winter. She wasn’t one to work out or run, so basketball kept her active and in shape while doing something she enjoying.

Was it so wrong to hope Derrick would be there?

Maybe once she finished the job, she would come back and get to know him on different terms. If he was interested. If he would even speak to her after she explained the situation.

Derrick was on the court when she arrived. He went back and worth between doing layups and taking shots from the perimeter of the foul line. He appeared lost in thought, his handsome face controlled.

She stood behind the bench and watched him unawares. The thought of walking away from him, of never seeing him again felt unbearable. Without hesitation, she understood and acknowledged that she was in love with him. Her heart slammed against her chest. When had it happened, she wondered. That very first day? Or maybe the first time they had played basketball?

Whenever it had come about, she knew it hadn’t been a sudden occurrence. The initial attraction had been instant, but the rest emerged as she'd learned more about him, saw the kindness and work ethic. Each building a step toward love.

Unfortunately, their relationship had a foundation constructed on deception and false pretenses. She wasn’t what he thought even though she had shared so much of her real self with him. And once he knew the truth, there was a chance she would never get to tell him how she felt about him. She needed to tell him now while he would still listen to her.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” she called out. Derrick missed his shot, but instead of chasing the ball, he turned to face her. “I can’t stop tasting your kiss.” Since he made no move to approach, she stayed put, as well. “I know you think I’m too young or you’re too old, but that doesn't matter to me. My birthday is in a few days and you won’t have any more excuses. What happens then?”

“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m too old for you.”

“I don’t care how old you are.”

“I do, Erica. You are going to grow and change so much in the next five to ten years. I won’t be responsible for holding you back. You may think you know what you want, but you don’t have a clue.”

Frustration curled her hands into fists. She wanted to tell him the truth, but couldn't. Her supervisor would have pulled her from the case two weeks ago if he knew how involved she'd become in Derrick's life.

Maybe it wasn’t about age at all. Maybe he didn’t feel the same as she and that’s why he managed to keep his distance. The thought sickened her, coiled her stomach in pain. But if it were true, she had to know.

"I know what I want. What I need is to know if you have feelings for me?"

He walked toward her, the palms of his hands lifted up. "This isn't about how I feel..."

"But it is." She leaned forward, gripping the back of the bench separating them. "What if I told you I'm older than you think? Would twenty-nine change things? Or would you still find an excuse not to want me?"

"What difference does it make? The point is you're not twenty-nine..."

"Derrick, I'm standing here telling you I have feelings for you. If you don't feel anything for me just say so and I’ll leave you alone." She took a few steps back while tears pushed forward.

He spun away, gripping his hair in his hands before throwing them up to the sky in frustration. "Jesus, Erica, you don't understand what your asking me. This goes against everything that is moral." As if having made a decision, he swung back to face her. "I think you are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I love spending time with you and talking to you. I've played basketball here for years, now when I come it's with the hope of seeing you. Don't you get it? I feel things for you I don’t have a right to feel."

"But you do have the right." Joy burst inside her, hope feeding on his words. She edged around the bench to go to him, but he held up his hands, stopping her in her tracks.

"I don't. I can't and won’t do this, Erica. I'm sorry."

He left her standing there unable to move, unable to get enough air to push through her lungs as the tears fell.

****

Paranoia settled over Erica by third period on Friday. Kids were whispering to each other while sending sidelong glances in her direction. Something was going down and everyone else seemed to know about it. That something had to do with her.

Being the topic of conversation at least provided her with a distraction from thinking about Derrick every second of the day.

She knew relief when fifth period arrived and Joey took the seat in front of her. He turned around, placing his arms on her desk. “LeAnn is dissin' you big time. Watch your back.”

“I’ve been freaking out all morning. I knew something was up.”

“So is it true? You and Ricky talkin’?”

“No. And neither are the rumors about me and Huff, even though you didn’t ask.” She sat back and folder her arms.

“I didn’t need to ask, I had that one figured.” His frown deepened. “Did Ricky come to you?”

“Yeah.” She leaned forward again, their forearms bumping. “Why?” she whispered.

“Just be careful where he’s concerned.”

The teacher came in and started class before Joey could say more.

When the final bell of the day rang, Erica couldn’t get out of the school fast enough. When she and Joey made it to the parking lot, a group of kids had gathered around a few of the cars. As they approached, Erica could hear yelling and whales of pain. They pushed their way through to Huff in time to see Ricky punch LeAnn in an already bleeding and bruised face. LeAnn half sat, half lay on the ground while Ricky gripped a fist full of her hair.

“What the hell…” Erica started to step forward but Huff put his arm out to block her.

“She was hitten’ me up to get to you,” he said as if it justified Ricky’s actions.

Erica pushed Huff’s arm out of her way, stepping to the front of the group.

Joey grabbed her arm from behind. “Don’t get involved in this.”

She glared over her shoulder at him. “How can you just stand there, how dare any of you stand here and do nothing.”

With everyone’s eyes on her, including Ricky’s, she walked right up to him, taking advantage of his confusion, and brought her knee up quick and hard against his balls. In grabbing himself, he let go of LeAnn. Erica bent down and brushed the strands of hair stuck in blood away from the girl’s swollen face.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of here.” Erica put her arms around LeAnn and helped her to her feet.

“You bitch,” Ricky bellowed.

Erica glanced up to see him advancing on them. She placed herself between him and LeAnn. “Go ahead, asshole, bring it on. Show me what a man you are and take a swing. You might find I’m not as easy a target.”

Ricky stopped as Joey and Huff stepped up to flank her on either side. Pride swelled in Erica’s chest. A few others had her back as well, but so many of them hung back to watch.

Ricky’s face turned beat red as he glared at them. “You’s done fucked up. Payback ain’t a game.” He jumped in his car and laid a patch of rubber leaving the parking lot.

LeAnn’s girlfriends moved in to help, taking LeAnn over to the sidewalk, where she sat and cried. Her friends huddled around her, trying to sooth her. Erica was glad to see they were loyal friends. LeAnn would need their support.

Erica squatted down to look at LeAnn’s face. “You should go to the hospital. You have a gash above your eye that may need stitches.”

“I’ll be fine.” LeAnn's voice warbled as she tried to stem the flow of tears. “You shouldn’t have done that, you know.”

“Why?” Erica took a tissue from her backpack and handed it to LeAnn.

“He ain’t jokin’ ‘bout payback.”

“Ricky doesn’t scare me,” she lied.

“He should.”

“LeAnn, love shouldn’t be a scary thing. If he loved you, he wouldn’t want to hurt you this way. He would protect you.” There were things she wanted to tell the girl, advice she wanted to give so that LeAnn would not go back to Ricky or end up in another abusive relationship one day.

But LeAnn shook her head. “I shouldn’t have flirted with Huff,” she sobbed.

“Maybe not, but that does not give Ricky the right to hit you,” Erica insisted. “Love doesn't make you fear for your life. He treats you this way because you let him.”