Authors: Christina Wolfer
Erica straightened from her squatted position. She had to back away from the situation before she grabbed the girl by the shoulders and shook her until the truth rang clear. “Please think about going to the hospital.” She turned and began walking away.
“Erica,” LeAnn called. Erica looked back. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, LeAnn.”
****
Vulnerable was not an emotion Erica cared to acknowledge. There wasn't a thing she would or could have done differently. To stand by and do nothing had not been an option. But she was smart enough to know she’d knocked the hornets nest clear out of the tree and the sting of retaliation was imminent.
She had a short-lived reprieve from her worries when her supervisor showed up. Steve paced the small confines of her apartment, his sports coat tossed over a chair and his tie loose around his neck.
"We’re going to pull you out of the school. We have enough to put Ricky and a few of his runners out of business. The West Side Hell Boys are a dangerous group and they’ll put a target on your back if they haven’t already."
"Do you think she'll go back to him?"
Steve stopped, hands on his hips and stared at her as if she were loony. "What do you think?"
"I know. She probably went back to him within an hour." Erica sighed, rubbed a hand over her tired eyes. "You can't pull me from the case. Not yet."
"The hell I can’t. You aren't going to get any deeper into the Hell Boys now. We've got all we're going to get on this one. You did good, Cordero. We will at least get them out of the school."
"Please, give me a few more days. Maybe, we'll get lucky and LeAnn will do the smart thing. Maybe, she'll talk and give us what we need."
He hesitated. "Fine. A few more days, then we’re going in. If we’re lucky, we’ll catch the bastards carrying." Steve picked up his jacket. "Get some sleep," he ordered as he left.
Erica turned off the kitchen light and moved through the dark into the living room. She sat on the couch and tucked her feet up underneath her. Monday, she would talk to LeAnn and see if she could or would give them something that would give the police a reason to go after the leader of the Hell Boys. If not, Erica would have to settle for shutting down Ricky and his runners. Her testimony and the evidence would send him to jail for a short stint and then he would be back on the streets selling drugs.
Her assignment at Fairmont would be complete, yet she felt as if she hadn’t accomplished a thing. Stopping Ricky was a temporary solution. Drugs would find their way back into the school with or without him. There were other gang members.
But it was a step in the right direction, she reminded herself. A small step, but many small steps eventually led to miles. She would go back to her everyday life and back to her old apartment on the east side of town. She would return to the department as a beat cop and continue to request additional assignments to keep her involved in reducing gang activity.
Erica laid her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. She’d met some good kids here. She allowed herself to acknowledge that those same kids were gang members or associated with gangs. Hard to believe considering what she’d thought of them before she arrived at Fairmont. But good kids got involved in gang activities for a variety of reasons. They needed options, which had her thinking about starting a youth program that offered the acceptance they craved and a place to belong other than in a gang.
****
On Monday morning, half a dozen students watched as a blue van slowed in front of the school. They saw the side door slide open and the lifeless body of LeAnn shoved to the curb while the van continued to roll. No one thought to get the license plate number before the vehicle sped away.
LeAnn was dead.
Erica arrived after the police and ambulance and stayed back. She listened to the fear and sadness bounce around the gathering of LeAnn's classmates and friends. Those same emotions battered Erica inside along with the anger and guilt. She'd failed to protect. She'd failed to save yet another young life.
The pressure was too much, making it difficult for her to breath. She fled the school grounds before people started looking at her. They would blame her. They would say she should have stayed out of LeAnn and Ricky’s business. It was her fault Ricky killed her. How could she argue against them?
She’d abandoned LeAnn, left her standing in the open, alone and vulnerable. Once again, Erica found herself trying to make sense of her own decisions, to figure out how to right the wrong, how to stop the hurt she’d caused.
She spent the morning and afternoon driving aimlessly around town. Steve would be looking for her, so she couldn’t go to the apartment. And going to her family was out of the question. They would love and support her. They would say all the right things and tell her it wasn’t her fault, the way they had when her sister died. But she wouldn’t open those old wounds for them.
By the time she pulled to a stop down the street from Moreno’s Repair Shop, she had half dozen messages on her cell phone. Steve had made several attempts. Joey’s number had popped up a couple times and a few from a number she didn’t recognize.
The shop doors were open to let in the crisp breeze. She could see Derrick milling around under a car hoisted several feet in the air.
Having never felt this way about a man before, her love for Derrick overwhelmed her.
With the crosswind moving through the open windows of the car, the sun beating down on the roof and tears drying on her cheeks, exhaustion stole over her. She started to doze off, only to be jolted awake when her cell phone rang.
Steve.
May as well get this over with
. “Hello.”
“Jesus, Cordero, it’s about damn time. Where the hell are you?”
She held the phone away from her ear until he finished. “I’m fine.”
“I didn’t ask how you are. I want to know
where
you are.”
"I need some time to think."
"There's nothing to think about. We're going in tomorrow."
"But what about…"
"It's done, Cordero." Steve hung up.
She laid her head against the steering wheel. Ricky and his runners would get a slap on the hand, a minimum one-year in jail and three years probation for drug dealing. But he would get away with LeAnn’s murder. The Hell Boys would continue their supremacy.
Erica started up the car and drove off. No destination in mind or so she thought until she cruised by the Sanchez residence, the known hangout for The Hell Boys. The house, packed tight between other like houses, was unkempt, dirty and grey. She could imagine death happening inside those walls, the physical and the emotional.
She drove around the block several times, wondering what would happen if she walked into the residence with her gun drawn and demand the name of the asshole that killed LeAnn. A fanatical laugh escaped, lost in the emptiness. A crazy thought. Stupid. But she pulled to the curb and unstrapped the gun from under her seat. Her hands shook as she checked the clip and safety. She went so far as to get out of the car and stood staring at the house. Fear locked her knees in place and kept her feet from moving.
Three men wandered out onto the front porch. They were watching her.
"Hey you, whatcho hanging out around here fo’?" the skinny one yelled after a few minutes. When they started down the steps, Erica bolted, jumping into her car and squealing tires as she pulled away.
Coward. You fucking coward.
She pounded her fists on the steering wheel.
She became a cop, begged for this assignment to prove to herself, and anyone else who cared to notice that she wasn't the coward she had once been. She was strong now. She could stand up against evil and would protect those who couldn't protect themselves. A sob ripped through her chest. The only thing she'd established was that her yellow spots were still yellow.
As darkness fell over the city, Erica found herself at the community park, sitting on the bench at the basketball courts. A group of teenage boys played a full court game of two-on-two. She stared but didn't really see them and was vaguely aware when they packed up their belongings and left.
The hooligan light buzzed to life.
“Erica.”
She jumped at the soft-spoken sound of her name and glanced up into Derrick's concerned face.
“I’ve been trying to call you all day,” he continued to talk with a quiet calm. “Joey, too. Are you all right?” He took a few tentative steps toward her.
“I failed her.” Her voice scrapped against her dry throat.
“This isn’t your fault, Erica.”
She turned her face away as the tears gathered. She felt the shift of the bench as he sat down beside her. He didn’t touch her and she was glad for that, knowing the fragile cracks of her exterior would widen and break into a million pieces if he did.
“Joey told me what you did, standing up for LeAnn. He’s ashamed that he tried to stop you. What you did was very brave.”
“Brave would have been staying by her side.” She pushed to her feet, unable to sit any longer. “But I left her out there, defenseless, just like my sister.” The last four words carried on a hoarse whisper.
“What does this have to do with your sister?” He touched her arms, gently urging her to turn and face him. “Erica, what does this have to do with your sister?”
“They killed her.”
“Who killed her? The Hell Boys?”
“Boys like them. Gang members. She and I were walking home from school, the same route we always took, when gunfire exploded around us. I couldn’t tell where the shots came from. I panicked and ran to the nearest building a few feet away.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “The door wouldn’t open. I turned around for somewhere else to hide and realized Maria wasn’t with me. She was standing out in the open where I’d left her. Frozen, like a statue. I think I screamed for her, but I was too late. She went down. One minute a statue and the next crumpled on the ground.”
Derrick gave her arms a gentle squeeze to bring her back from the memory. “I’m so sorry, Erica. I hate that you had to go through that, but it wasn’t your fault. You could have just as easily been shot.”
“You sound like my family. They assured me over and over that they didn’t blame me, but it changed things.”
“A tragedy like that can’t not change things.”
“On some level, I know that. I’ve battled with myself over this for years. Whether I’m to blame or not doesn’t change the fact that I left her out in the open, too scared to move and I can’t help but wonder what if… what if I would have grabbed her hand and made her move? I don’t know if that will ever go away.”
"God, Erica, you can't keep doing that to yourself. You'll never answer the ‘what if’. Would you have blamed her if she’d have run and you'd been the one left standing?
"No. Not at all, but I was older. She counted on me."
"Sweetheart, the only thing she counted on you for was to play with her. You know that in your heart, don't you?" He rubbed her arms.
"Yes," she whispered, loving the feel of his hands on her. “This thing with LeAnn felt so familiar, like I had abandoned her and it brought back all those old emotions and fears.”
“What could you have done different?”
“Nothing, I guess. I knew LeAnn would go back to him. They always do. I wish I could have done or said something that would have convinced her otherwise.”
“If she had gone back to Ricky it would have been her choice and her right, but the thing is, she didn’t. Her girlfriends said Ricky pestered her all weekend, but LeAnn refused to see him or even talk to him. She said that you made her realize she could stand up to him. She wanted to be strong like you.”
Erica studied Derrick’s face. “How do you know that?”
“Haley told Joey.”
Derrick’s words went a long way in healing the hurt around her heart. He was right, if LeAnn had wanted to go back, there would have been nothing Erica could do to stop her. She stepped between LeAnn and Ricky, making a point, which had apparently hit home with LeAnn and had given her strength. That knowledge gave Erica a sense of peace and with it, the determination to make sure LeAnn’s newfound power was not in vain. To do that, Erica had to make sure LeAnn’s murderer paid for what he did.
“So how did Ricky get to her?”
“It had to be during the night. Haley said she and Deidra were at LeAnn’s house with her until almost midnight. Plus, LeAnn’s mom was home.”
"Do the police know this?"
"I'm sure they do."
Erica started for her car. "I've gotta go, Derrick. I appreciate this." She stopped and turned back. He stood in the murky light, looking lost and so handsome. She knew this might be the last time she would ever see him. She rushed back to him, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his before he could think, before he could protest. He held her, kissing her back until she ended the embrace and stepped back. "Thank you. You helped me more than you will ever know."
The second she was alone, Erica called Steve, talking over his attempt to get out a hello. "Did you talk to LeAnn’s parents? Did you check her bedroom?"