Underestimated (17 page)

my legs on his shoulders as he moved into me. Every time

he thrust, he pushed the foreign entity in and out, as well.

He moved my legs and spread me as far as he could,

holding down on both legs until I felt the pull in my groin.

I was spent and couldn’t take it much longer. He had only

asked me if I wanted to come, he didn’t say that I could. It

didn’t matter because as soon as he started circling my

clitoris with his thumb, I couldn’t control it and called out

in ecstasy. This was the first time that we had sex, and he

released deep inside of me instead of in my mouth.

I jumped, startled when Dawson touched my arm

with a cold bottle of root beer, pulling me from my

thoughts.

“Sorry,” he apologized, not realizing that I was

lost again. “You okay?” he asked. I wondered what

expressions came across my face when I traveled back in

time.

I smiled and took his hand. “Yes, but I am ready to

get out of here.”

“Really? Its only eight o’clock. Summer Fest runs

all night long.”

“You haven’t been here with me all night,” I

accused, and he smiled, not denying it.

“Do you want to stay at my house tonight?” he

asked.

I had stayed there a couple of times already, but

for some reason, whatever he needed to discuss with me

had me a little apprehensive and I wanted to be home.

Lauren and Starlight both threw a fit when I went

to tell them goodbye. I lied and told them that I didn’t feel

well. Dawson followed me home.

I was unlocking my door when he got out of his

truck with a manila envelope.

I put water on to boil while Dawson sat on the

couch, slipped out of his shoes and dropped the envelope

to the table.

What the hell was going on?

I brought us both a cup of tea and sat beside him,

eyeing the envelope.

“You have to talk to me, sheriff. I can’t stand it a

second longer.”

He took a deep breath, looking nervous as hell.

“Ry, I don’t want you to think that I am out to get

you in any way,” he started.

“Dawson, you’re starting to scare me,” I admitted,

and my heart was beating at a more rapid pace than it

should have been.

“I wanted to do this to surprise you, I didn’t know

that I was going to find out what I did,” he explained, and I

was scared shitless. I was sure he knew who I was.

Would he call Drew? Would he send me back to Las

Vegas?

“What the hell are you talking about, Dawson?”

He handed me the envelope and I opened it,

pulling out its contents.

My heart dropped to my stomach instantly. I

couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I looked over to

Dawson and couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. I

turned my attention back to the photographs. I would have

known those dimples anywhere. It was Justin, and he was

so handsome. He looked so happy. I flipped to the next

photo. He was dressed in a baseball uniform and was

standing on the pitcher’s mound.

“Where did you get these, Dawson?” I asked,

touching my beautiful little brother’s face.

“Remember when I said I had to go out of town for

a family matter last weekend?”

I nodded.

“I met with the social worker that took care of his

case.”

“Why?” I asked, not understanding.

“I wanted to see if he was still in foster care. If he

was, I was going to somehow get him back with you. He’s

not, Ry. He’s in a good home with a family that loves him

very much. He does well in school and plays four different

sports.”

“Where is he?” I asked, staring down at his image

in front of me.

“He lives in a very prestigious part of Las Vegas.”

My head snapped, uncontrollably to him, but I

played it off fairly well. What the hell would he be doing

in Las Vegas? Who had him? How does a rich family in

Las Vegas even know about a little boy in the welfare

system from West Virginia? I would never know. I was

too chicken to do any investigating on my own. I was too

afraid of somebody finding me because of it. No. I would

let it go. I had to. He was in a loving home and looked

happy. That was all that mattered.

My heart ached for him. I didn’t realize how much

I loved and missed him until I saw what a handsome young

man he had become. I still had a million questions. I didn’t

understand how Dawson found him. What did he know

about me? I answered myself when I flipped to the report

obtained from the social worker. It had Justin Michael

Willow at the top of the page. I read through the report on

how we lived, our trailer that should have been

condemned, how there was no food in the house, and how

they had left a seventeen year old sister, Morgan Willow,

behind.

I turned to Dawson. He knew my name. He knew

where I grew up. What else did he know?

“You were out playing private investigator?” I

asked, not believing him.

“No, Ry. I was not. I told you. I wanted to find

your brother for you. You talk about him in your sleep… a

lot. I knew that you told me your maiden name was

Murphy, and that was where I hit my roadblock. There

wasn’t a Justin Murphy in the system anywhere in West

Virginia. You were scolding him one night in your sleep

and called out Justin Michael Willow. It was simple after

that. I don’t know how you went from Morgan Willow to

Riley Murphy. I need some answers from you that I can’t

get, and you won’t tell me.

“Did you go to my home town?” I asked. My heart

was ready to explode.

“Yes,” I know how you lived, and it breaks my

heart, Ry. I don’t blame you for leaving there, but you need

to tell me why the name change. Why is your past such a

secret? I found five Riley Murphy’s in the whole country.

One was a seven year old girl, two of them were men, one

was killed in an automobile accident, and one was an

eighty three year old woman who lived in a nursing home.

You don’t exist. You disappeared on your eighteenth

birthday as Morgan Willow and hadn’t been heard from

since. What is going on, Ry?”

I ignored his probing questions. I was too freaked

out.

“I can’t believe that you did this, Dawson. You

have no idea what you’ve done.”

I stood and paced the floor. My instincts went right

to the window. If he did this last week, chances were

Drew had already found me. He would have used Justin

from the start, hoping that I would try and contact him.

Dawson had just led him right to me.

“I can’t stay here,” I said and turned back to

Dawson.

“What the hell are you talking about, Riley?”

I was in panic mode. I didn’t want to speak, afraid

that my house was wired with cameras and bugs. I didn’t

want to go to his house because his house was probably

wired too. I walked out to the deck, breathing crazy

breaths, trying to get air into my collapsed lungs.

Dawson followed me out. “Riley, please tell me

what is going on. I didn’t mean to upset you. I only wanted

you to know that your little brother was more than fine,

healthy and happy. Tell me what has you so freaked out.”

“You shouldn’t have gone there. He is going to

find me. He will kill me.”

“Who is going to find you? Nobody is going to kill

you.”

“You don’t know him, Dawson. You ruined

everything. You just led him right to me by going there. I

assure you he followed your trail right back here.”

“Who!? For God’s sake, Riley?”

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, but didn’t

speak.

“Are you afraid of Drew?” he asked.

I nodded, not sure how much I was willing to

disclose. I didn’t even freak out about how he knew his

name. I already knew that one of my many nightmares had

unveiled the information.

“Who is he, Ry?”

“I can’t, Dawson. I do have to leave. I can’t stay

here.”

“Nobody is looking for you here,” he tried, but I

wasn’t buying it. I couldn’t.

He took his phone from his pocket which was

probably bugged too. He dialed a number as waited and

listened.

“Hi, this is the Dawson Bade. I spoke to you last

week about an adoption.”

I listened to the one sided conversation as he

talked.

“I need to know if anyone else knows about me

being there or the information that you gave me.”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

“Thank you. That would be great.”

Dawson said goodbye and I looked at him waiting

for something, anything to ease my mind.

“I am the only one she has ever given any

information to. There was an attorney there for some big

company five months ago asking for information. The guy

flashed five hundred dollars for any information about

anyone asking about Justin Willow. She told the guy to go

to hell and had him escorted out. Nobody has been back

until me, and she promised that she would not tell anyone

that she gave me what she did. She said she could get into

a lot of trouble for sharing it with me. She only did it

because she knew you were his sister, and I told her how

much it haunted you, not knowing where he was.

“Do you really think nobody knows you were

there?” I asked, feeling just a little better.

“Yes, Ry. I do.”

I breathed a deep long breath, and Dawson

wrapped me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his

waist and rested my head on his chest. He kissed the top of

my head and squeezed me tighter.

“You have to talk to me, Ry.”

I looked up to him, and he kissed my lips softly.

“I’m scared, Dawson,” I admitted. I couldn’t tell

him who I was or where I came from. I needed him in my

life, and I didn’t want him to leave me.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Ry,”

he promised, and I truly wanted to believe him.

Dawson made love to me for the first time that

night, and it was like nothing I had ever experienced. It

was hard for me at first. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed

to act, and I wasn’t used to having someone put my needs

first. He was so gentle and loving toward me, and my

emotions were on overload.

Dawson kissed me passionately, something else

that I wasn’t used to. We were standing in my bedroom,

and when he moved his hands up my shirt, I thought it was

the most comforting thing I had ever felt in my life. His

hands were gentle and warm on my back and sides. I was

trying to be with him in the moment. I really was, but I felt

almost like I was doing something wrong. When he moved

his lips down my neck, kissing and sucking seductively on

my neck, I found myself leaving him.

I opened my eyes and caught myself looking

around for a camera. I just knew that Drew was watching

me with Dawson. What I didn’t know was that Dawson

was more in tune with me than I was myself.

“Stay with me,” he whispered just below my ear.

His warm breath quickly brought me back to him.

What the hell was I supposed to do? I knew that

laying spread eagle on my bed for him wasn’t what he

wanted, but what did he want? I didn’t know how to be in

a relationship, not a real one anyway. I didn’t know how

to make love. I knew how to do what I was told and

please my man. Dawson wasn’t interested in me pleasing

him. He wanted to please me.

I was terrified. I didn’t know if I was supposed to

touch him or wait for him to tell me what to do. Yes, I

know. A twenty five year old woman should know these

things. I didn’t. I swear I didn’t. I didn’t have a clue. How

could I? I never had an orgasm until I was sixteen. I was

afraid to, and that went back years to my fucked up life.

My dad had come into the bathroom once when I

was seven. Seven, for God’s sake. I didn’t know what I

was doing then either. I was bent over curiously, looking

at myself sitting on the toilet. He came unglued. He

whipped me so hard, and demanded that I wasn’t going to

be a slut like my mother. I didn’t even know what a slut

was. He had told me that he would know if I touched

myself because my fingers would start turning black. He

would make me show him my fingers every so often after

that. I remembered how I would freak out if the toilet