Underestimated (21 page)

damn police officer. If I instruct you to stop, you better

damn well pull over,” he yelled.

I yelled right back. “Fine. If you’re going to pull

me over, you better God damn have a reason to do so.”

“You are not pushing me away, Ry,” he demanded.

I crossed my arms and snorted.

“Please, don’t push me away,” he calmed and ran

both hands down my crossed arms.

“Dawson, what is wrong with you? You don’t

want me,” I assured him.

“I do want you, Riley. You don’t want me to want

you.”

“Why? I think you have seen enough to know how

fucked I am.”

“I don’t think you are fucked up at all. I think you

have been through something horrific, and I would do

anything to make it better for you.”

“Why? I don’t understand you. You are very good

looking, funny, caring and compassionate. You could have

any girl that you wanted. Why me?”

“I don’t want any girl, Ry. I want you. Why is that

so hard for you to understand?”

“Do you like being woken two and three times a

night by my stupid hang ups? Dawson, I was practically

begging you to do sick perverted things to me last night.

Don’t you find that a little disturbing?”

“I find it a lot disturbing, and it breaks my heart

because I know that somebody did those things to you, and

you won’t talk to me about it.”

“I can’t, Dawson. I relive it enough. I don’t want

you to know that part of me.”

“Ry, I hear things that you say. I see you crying in

your sleep. I know you were abused. I know you are

hiding from someone named Drew. Don’t you think that I

could understand a little better if you would talk to me?”

I didn’t know what to say. I had given the man

every opportunity in the world to run and run as fast as he

could, but he wasn’t running. He was there as he had been

since the day I met him.

“I’m afraid to, Dawson.”

He looked at his watch and kissed me. I have two

more hours. I am going to bring supper over, and you and I

are going to talk about Drew,” he demanded.

“Dawson,” I tried, but he cut me off with a kiss.

“Get out of here before I write you a ticket,” he

teased and kissed me again.

I called Lauren and woke her from her afternoon

nap. She woke me all the time, so I didn’t care. She came

over, and I wanted her to stick around. I didn’t want to be

alone with Dawson, although I knew that she would leave,

and I would eventually be forced to talk to him. She stayed

and ate the fried chicken that Dawson brought and then

yawned around eight, saying she was going to bed and was

tired after getting her belly full.

I cleaned up, and Dawson stared, waiting for me to

start. I didn’t start anything. I didn’t even know what to say

to him.

“Talk to me, Ry,” he finally said.

I gave him a warm smile and took a deep breath.

“Can I take a bath first?”

“Yes, but we are having this conversation,” he

assured me.

I filled the tub with an extremely hot tub full of

bubbles. I sunk down and closed my eyes, wondering what

the hell I was supposed to say to him. I opened my eyes

when he dropped the lid on the toilet and joined me.

“You don’t have to tell me anything that you’re not

comfortable talking about,” he began. “I will ask the

questions and all you have to do is answer, okay?” he

asked.

Oh boy. Here we go…

I nodded.

“Who is Drew?” was the first question.

“My husband,” I answered.

“Your ex-husband?”

I shook my head.

“You’re still married, Ry?” he asked, shocked.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

He stood up and ran his hands through his short

hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You said you were

divorced.”

“I would be if it were possible. Riley Murphy isn’t

married. Morgan is married,” I replied, omitting the last

name.

“Ry, you can’t just run away and change your

name. That doesn’t make you not married.”

I knew this was a crummy idea. I knew he

wouldn’t understand. I stood up and dried off, and he

stepped out. We went to bed, and both sat up under the

covers while our conversation continued.

“Why did you marry him, Ry?” Dawson continued

with his investigation.

“I am not sure how much I should tell you,

Dawson,” I admitted.

“Tell me everything,” he required.

I took a deep breath and he reached for my hand. I

snuggled up in his arm. It was easier for me to talk to him

without looking at him.

“I didn’t want to marry him. I didn’t even know

him. He paid my father thirty thousand dollars for me. He

came to our trailer on my eighteenth birthday to claim me.

He is a very rich, powerful man.”

Dawson abruptly moved from the bed and paced

the bedroom floor. I only watched while he regained his

composure.

“He bought you?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes.”

“Ry, that is as illegal as you can get. I will have

that bastard committed so fast his head will spin.”

“Dawson. No. You can’t do that. Promise me you

won’t go anywhere near him let alone try anything at all.

You don’t know what you are dealing with. He will come

for me.”

“You can’t hide, looking over your shoulder your

entire life.”

Oh yes I can…

He sat back down and pulled me back to him, not

wanting me to shut down and stop talking.

“Keep talking,” he said and kissed my fingertips.

“I can’t. You keep asking the questions. It’s easier

that way.”

“I need to know what he did to you, Ry. Did he hit

you?”

“Yes, often,” I admitted.

“Why?”

“Because he is crazy, I don’t know why. I tried to

be who he wanted me to be, but he always found

something to punish me for. He got off on it.”

“He hit you to punish you?”

“No, he usually only did that when I mouthed off

something that he didn’t like.”

“How did he punish you?” Dawson asked, and I

knew that he already knew the answer to his question and

just needed to hear it from me.

“He used sex to punish me or so he said. He did it

because he is a sick bastard who got off on it.”

“What did he do, Ry?”

“Dawson, you really don’t want the details. He did

everything imaginable, unimaginable would be the better

term,” I decided.

“I need to know, Riley. Just think about one time

that he punished you. Why were you being punished? walk

me through it. Help me understand.”

I took a deep breath and thought about it. Maybe if

I told him he would finally realize that I was too broke to

fix. I contemplated a time that I had been punished. I had

no idea it was going to be so real for me to talk about it.

The dreams were a part of my subconscious. It was

inevitable for them to be so real. Talking about it wide

awake was a different story altogether.

“One afternoon when he was home, he was in his

office, and I wanted to ask him if I could go somewhere.”

“You had to ask permission to go somewhere?” he

asked, running his finger up and down my arm.

“Yes. When I was growing up, I used to go to the

local library for some solace, especially after they took

Justin away. I tapped on his door, and he told me to come

in. I was afraid to interrupt him because I wasn’t allowed

in his office.”

“Drew, I was wondering if it would be okay if I

went to the library here,” I asked.

“Why?” he asked annoyed.

“I like to read, and I like spending time in the

library,” I answered.

“No. Not yet. I will let you know when you

deserve that privilege.”

“He dismissed me, and I left disappointed. I lived

in an eight thousand square foot house, and had plenty to

do, but I just needed out,” I explained.

Dawson didn’t speak and continued to listen.

Chapter 8

“That night after I had retired to my room…”

“You didn’t share a room,” he interrupted.

“No, I never slept in his room, but he did stay in

mine on occasion, but not often. Anyway, he had sent

someone out to buy me an e-reader. That was when they

were fairly new, and all that you could really do is read

on them. He brought it to me and told me that he had

already downloaded enough books to keep me busy for

quite some time.”

“Did he know what you liked to read?”

I blew out a puff of air. “He didn’t care, but just

wait, it gets better. First I had to do things to even get the

e-reader.”

“Like what,” Dawson wanted to know. He wanted

details, and wasn’t letting me maneuver around them.

“Well, that particular night was actually mild. He

made me undress and bend over his lap so that he could

spank me for coming into his office.”

I felt Dawson tense beneath me, but he didn’t stop

me as I let my mind drift back in time, once again.

“You know you’re not allowed in my office

without me telling you to be there, don’t you?”

“Yes, Drew.”

“And you also know that I am going to spank you

now, right?”

“Yes, Drew.”

I didn’t even wait for him to tell me what to do

next. I slid out of my panties and my nightshirt and lay

across the bed and his lap. He rubbed my ass a couple of

times as he always did and began his ritual. He slapped

me hard and then rubbed the sting away, purposely moving

between my legs as he did. I could feel his erection on my

hip, and he would ever so often, pull me toward it to so

that he could grind into me. I tried to make myself not get

wet. I would think about any and everything under the sun

except for the orgasm that I wasn’t going to be allowed to

have.

Once he was finished with his routine he told me

to lay down and spread my legs. I did of course, and he

rubbed my conspiring juices into me.

“You want it up the ass don’t you?” he asked,

knowing that I would say yes, regardless of my true

answer.

“Yes,” I whispered, and he flipped me to my

stomach, roughly.

“Get on your knees,” he demanded and I did.

I felt his head touch my entrance.

“You want it, you take it,” he said, wanting me to

push back into him.

I slowly moved back, trying to relax and press his

erection into me.

“Awe, yeah, baby, take me in your ass,” he said.

He always said perverted things to me which should have

repulsed me, but didn’t. It made me wetter, and I wanted

him even more. I knew that it was a mind game and away

for him to control me even more, knowing that he would

be the only one to acquire any pleasure.

“Move me in and out now,” he demanded once I

had him buried inside of me.

I did as I was told and rocked back and forth on

his dick. I was fine until he brought his fingers around and

started circling my clitoris.

“Drew,” I begged.

“No. You were a bad girl. You came into my

office. You are not coming,” he assured me as he tried

even harder to bring me to bliss.

I clinched the comforter in both fists, willing

myself not to come. I counted to one hundred by twos and

then did it backwards. I wasn’t going to give him the

pleasure of knowing that I failed,
again.

He finally gave up and pulled out of me. He lay

down and told me to straddle him. I did, and he helped

guide me over his shaft. I knew he only did it because he

wanted to see the struggle on my face as he masturbated

me to orgasm.

“Fuck my dick with your ass,” he said as his

fingers frantically rubbed my throbbing nub. “Harder,” he

demanded when I wasn’t moving fast enough for him.

“Drew, I can’t,” I begged for him to let me orgasm.

“You don’t want to disobey me Morgan,” he

warned as he rubbed even harder.

He clicked his tongue and shook his head as I

quivered above him, uncontrollably letting go.

“You just insist on defying me, don’t you?” he

asked, and moved me off of him.

He got up, went into my bathroom and cleaned

himself up. He walked out still wearing his erection and

clicked his tongue again as he left my room. I knew he

would be right back. I just didn’t know what he would be

back with.

He came back with a new toy with two ends. I

knew that both of my orifices would be taking it. One end