Underestimated (73 page)

Fuck…

“But what if this baby turns out to be Dawson’s?

It’s a very good possibility.”

“Cross that bridge when it gets here. I’m going to

miss you,” Star said, like she knew that I was going to

leave. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. “You

need to talk to Dawson, Ry.”

“I know,” I admitted. I just hated the thought of it.

“I don’t want to hurt him, Star.”

“You’re hurting him more by sneaking around with

your husband.”

“Maybe, if he knew, that is.”

“He knows, Ry.”

“What do you mean?”

“He talks to me. I shouldn’t say that he knows. He

speculates.”

“You think he knows that I have been with Drew?”

Star nodded. I wanted to get back on the plane and

get the hell out of dodge. I didn’t want to face him. Shit.

He knew. What the hell was I supposed to say to him?

I hung around with Star until almost two. I knew

that Dawson took his lunch from two to three and I had

planned on meeting him and maybe going to Millie’s for

lunch. I felt my nerves stand on end with every tick from

the Indian wall clock above my head.

Star hugged me and told me to call her. I thanked

her for being my friend and not judging me the way that my

so called best friend, Lauren, had.

I pulled over to the curb when I saw Dawson

walking down the sidewalk. I smiled a sad smile at the

sight of him. I really didn’t want to hurt him any more than

I had. I couldn’t believe that he knew that I wasn’t at my

mom’s. He never mentioned it when I had talked to him the

day before. I lost my smile pretty quick.

What the fuck?

I watched Lauren run up behind him and jump on

his back. He carried her for a few steps before she slid

off. They were laughing and flirting. Was this why Lauren

was so interested in my plans with Dawson? I watched

Dawson hold the door open at Millie’s for her. I couldn’t

help but notice the look between the two as she passed.

I sat dumbfounded for a few minutes, trying to

process what if anything was going on. Dawson didn’t

have lunch with Lauren. They never hung out. How did I

feel about it? That was when I knew exactly who I

belonged with. I thought about how it made me feel to

think of Dawson with someone else. I smiled and shook

my head. I was okay with it. I thought about Drew being

with someone else and how I wanted to scratch Celeste’s

eyeballs out when I thought they were being intimate. I

couldn’t handle the thought of Drew being with someone,

but I was okay with Dawson being with my best friend.

I wondered about Joel, although I knew that Lauren

had said she would never be serious with him. I really

didn’t know that Lauren had feelings for Dawson. I guess I

should have. She was very insistent on me not hurting him.

What should I do? Should I walk in? Should I wait

until later? What did Lauren tell him about our fight? I

wasn’t sure what I should do. I didn’t want to embarrass

either one of them. I decided to wait until later in the

evening. I wanted to talk to Lauren first. I could very well

just be an innocent lunch, and I was reading more into it

than I should have been.

I patiently waited for Lauren to get home, staring

out the window. She pulled into her drive five hours later.

I knew she wouldn’t come over like she normally did. She

was pissed at me.

I took a deep breath and slid my arms through my

coat. I didn’t even know what I was going to say. Was

Lauren really seeing Dawson behind my back?

Lauren opened the door before I had a chance to

knock.

“Can we talk?” I asked.

She stepped aside and gestured for me to come in.

“I just made coffee, want some?”

“Sure,” I said, sitting at the table. “Lauren, I’m

sorry,” I blurted out even though I didn’t know what I was

apologizing to her for.

“Me too, Ry. I just don’t want you to hurt Dawson.

He is so in love with you.”

Hmm. How do I respond to that? She wasn’t going

to mention having lunch with him. Should I? I decided to

let it slide and pretend that I didn’t know.

“Why don’t you and Joel come over tonight?” I

asked. I didn’t want her to come over with Joel. I wanted

to spend the evening alone, talking to Dawson. I was just

fishing for information.

“Joel and I broke up almost a month ago,” she

stated.

“What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” I

asked, playing the concerned friend.

“I came over to talk to you last night. We didn’t

really talk.”

“Why did you break up?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess

I have decided lately that I wasn’t getting any younger.

Joel’s not really the settling down type. I want to be in

love and start a family.”

“Got anyone in mind?”

She thought briefly before answering. “No, not

really.”

She wasn’t going to tell me that she had lunch with

Dawson, and she wasn’t going to tell me who she had in

mind, but I could tell there was someone, and I had a good

feeling that it was Dawson.

I answered my phone when I saw that it was

Dawson.

“Where are you? I brought supper.”

“How did you know that I was home?” I asked. I

knew Lauren had told him. I just wanted to see what his

answer was.

“ESP, baby. Get over here. I’m hungry, and I miss

you.”

I smiled. He wasn’t telling me either. “I’m

coming.”

I stood up and took Lauren’s hand. “Come, let’s go

eat.”

“No. I think I am just going to hang out here. You

go ahead,” she said pulling her hand from mine.

“I thought you said you weren’t mad at me.”

“I’m not. I’m just not hungry. I had a big lunch.”

“Please,” I begged.

She groaned and got up. We walked across the

yard, arm in arm. I knew I was being sly, but I couldn’t

help it. I had to know.

Dawson was setting plates out on the table and

getting spoons for the carton of mashed potatoes and corn.

I went to the kitchen and got Lauren a plate and the butter

for the biscuits. I watched the two of them exchange a

glance. It was not my imagination. I know what I saw, and

I know that Lauren quickly redirected her eyes.

I placed the utensils on the table and decided to try

something else. I wrapped my arms around Dawson’s neck

and kissed him.

“Hi,” I said as his hands moved around by ever

growing body.

“Hi,” he said, and I kissed him again.

“I think I will just leave you two alone,” Lauren

tried.

“No. I’m done. I promise,” I said, playing it off.

“Sit.”

We ate the chicken, and I purposely touched

Dawson every chance I got, just to observe Lauren’s

reaction. It was obvious. She didn’t want me touching him.

There
was
something going on. I knew it.

Lauren helped clean up the trash. I could tell that

she wanted out of there. I kissed Dawson again in the

kitchen, and that was it. She was gone.

“I’ll see you guys later,” she stated, not looking

back.

“What’s her problem?” I asked Dawson.

He shrugged one shoulder. “She’s your friend,” he

accused, like I should know better than him.

“Did you miss me?” I asked, moving into his arms.

I don’t know what the hell I was doing. I guess I felt a

little rejected or some shit. I had planned on telling him

that I didn’t want to be with him and that I was going home

to my husband. I didn’t feel that way anymore. I wanted

Dawson, especially after realizing that Lauren wanted him

too.

“Of course I missed you,” he assured me, pulling

me into his arms. “How’s your family?”

Was he now fishing for information? “Good, I’m

going back down in a couple of weeks. Caroline is in a

school play and I promised her I would come and watch.”

I’m pretty sure he bought it. He kissed me, parting

my lips with his tongue. I kissed him back and ran my

hands along his ribs and to his strong back. I wanted him. I

wanted him right that second. What the hell was wrong

with me? I needed professional help or something.

Dawson tried to lift my shirt over my head. I

stopped him. I hadn’t forgotten about the nice little

surprise that Drew had left for me.

“I need a shower,” I whispered to his lips.

He placed his forehead on mine and took a deep

breath. “Then you better get away from me and go,” he

assured me.

I kissed him again and left him.

I prayed that he didn’t come into the bathroom. I

think I showered quicker than I ever had in my life. I even

dressed in record time.

Dawson was in my room emptying his pockets

when I came out. He took clothes from his dedicated

drawers and kissed me as he headed to the shower next.

Damnit he was staying. We were going to have

sex. This was not the plan…at all.

I slipped on a pair of socks and eyed his

cellphone, trying to tell myself not to do it. I had never

looked through his phone. I never had a reason to. I

jumped up and practically ran to it. I opened it up and

went right to the messages. Fifty seven of them were to

and from Lauren. I scanned them quickly, listening for the

shower to shut off.

Most of them were just quick little text. Like, good

morning, good night, how is your day going? And then I

read where they were meeting. He knew that I was home

the night before. Lauren had text him and told him not to

come over because I was home.

Why was I so pissed about Dawson and Lauren? It

wasn’t like I hadn’t just lied to him and spent the last few

days with Drew. I was furious. I was reading one from

Lauren, telling Dawson that she missed his lips and

couldn’t wait until she could kiss him. I didn’t hear the

water shut off, and I didn’t hear Dawson walk in.

I don’t know how I knew that he was standing

there. I guess I just sensed his presence. I turned to see his

tight lipped face staring right at me, going through his

phone.

“Dawson?” I said. I needed to know. Screw the

private investigator crap. I wanted to know, and he was

going to tell me.

“I’ve wanted to tell you, Riley.”

“Tell me what?”

He didn’t speak. I could feel my heart beating. I

could feel the blood pumping through my veins. I was

ticked. I wanted to pick his gun up and shoot him in the

head. I was literally seeing little light prisms. I was so

freaking mad. I couldn’t see straight. Why, I wasn’t sure. I

really had no right, but God damnit, this hit me like a ton

of bricks. I wasn’t expecting this. I could have never seen

this coming, not in a million years.

“How long has this been going on, Dawson?” I

asked. I was trying my best to keep my cool. Never mind

the fact that I was planning on dumping him that very night.

“Riley, come here,” he tried. Fuck that. He wasn’t

touching me, ever.

“Just fucking tell me, Dawson,” I demanded, still

trying not to yell.

“Come out here and sit down. I will put on some

tea, and we will talk.”

I stormed past him shoving his phone in his chest. I

didn’t want to sit. I couldn’t sit. I walked out to the cold

November chill in my sock feet. I needed air. I needed the

brisk cold sea air. I felt like I was suffocating, and I didn’t

know why.

Dawson left me alone while he heated water. It

was probably best that he did. When I finally cooled off, I

walked back in and sat at the table. I shivered, freezing

from the cold air.

“Do you love her?” I asked, looking down at the

table. I didn’t want to see his face when I got my answer.

“I don’t know, Ry. Lauren has been there for me

through all of this. We spent hours together when you were

missing.”

“How sweet,” I smartly, replied.

“Not like that. We spent hours looking for you.

You were gone almost five months before anything ever

happened. We were only intimate twice before I found

you.”

“Why didn’t you just leave me lost?”

“Because I love you. I still love you.”

“Do you want Lauren?”

“I don’t know how to answer that right now. I