Underworld Lover (A Guardian Angel Romance #2) (15 page)

Josh jumped to his feet, plowed his way around the table, and drew her to him, hugging her shaking body. To the top of her head he whispered, “Of course you are confused, Melanie. I am so sorry. I have been a complete fool.”

“I thought you were different,” she said, her words muffled by his chest. He laced his fingers through the blond curls at the back of her head, massaging the tops of her shoulders.

“I am. I am very different than any other man you’ve met.” Then he thought of Peter, but decided he wouldn’t qualify his statement further. He’d confused Melanie enough already.

“What is this? I feel like I’ve just begun some epic journey but without a roadmap. Can you help me here? I’m drowning.”

Josh remembered his dream. “How much time do you have until you need to leave?”

She looked at the kitchen clock. “Maybe twenty minutes. I need to clean up here too.”

“Leave it for now. Come. Let’s talk.”

He led her by the hand to the living room, where he sat down on the purple couch, bringing her down onto his lap. She leaned against his chest, but her body stayed tense.

“The part about not being totally honest with you . . .” He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, recalling the angry sneer Felix gave him just before the young angel punched him in the stomach Karl’s difficulty restraining Felix allowed him to get a second punch off, Josh deflecting the blow with a quick forearm. Josh knew he would have to deal with Felix as his next order of business.

“Melanie, I knew Felix. He talked of you. I came to your shop to deliver a message from him. After I was there, well, I didn’t expect that…” This was more difficult than he thought.

“You knew Felix? What message?” She sat up. “I never got a message…”

“He wanted me to tell you that he cared for you and that he hoped you wouldn’t make the same choice he made. His message came from his concern, and…” he had to hesitate with this next part, “because he cares about you. Cared about you.”

Melanie stood then started pacing in front of Josh. “Is he dead, really dead? Because lately, I think I’ve been seeing him places.”

Damn you, Felix.

“Well, it’s complicated.” Josh’s stomach began to churn. He hadn’t prepared to tell her too much, and now felt committed to a dangerous path. Melanie was insistent.

“It’s not so complicated to me. Either he is dead or he is alive. It shouldn’t require a great deal of thought, Josh.”

Josh leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, shielding his forehead in his hands. This was getting worse by the minute, he thought.

“He
is
dead.”

Melanie sighed, looking down at her feet. Her shoulders slumped, like she was going to cry. Her little voice waivered, “So, you are a seer or something? You commune with the dead?”

If you only knew
…

“In a way…but not in the sense you’re asking.” This was not going well.

“Who am
I
seeing, Josh? I
know
I’ve seen him.”

Josh was silent.

“Some kind of ghost? He looks pretty real to me. I think you know what I’m talking about.” When Josh looked up at her, she nailed him with her gaze.

“You’re seeing a dark angel, Melanie. Felix is a dark angel now. I am the one who has forbidden him to contact you.”

“Ah. Well that explains it.” After her frown disappeared, she began to laugh. “I must look pretty stupid. You can’t expect me to fall for a ruse like that. What in God’s name are you talking about?”

He could see she was starting to get angry. “It’s no joke. It’s the truth, Melanie.”

“Okay, so if I bought this ridiculous story, why would you forbid him to contact me?”

“I think that’s obvious.”

“Humor me, anyway, Josh. And I’m losing my patience, so make it quick.”

“For your own protection. Because we didn’t want to scare you. You didn’t know me, but you knew him. We thought it would scare you to see a walking, talking dead person.” Josh winced at his unfortunate choice of words.

“I can’t believe we’re talking about this.” She paced. “You know, I think you’d better leave.”

“You’re probably right. I’m sorry, Melanie. There’s so much I haven’t told you…”

“Save it.” She held her palm up to him.

Josh wished he could take back most of his words. Too late.

“Walking, talking dead person.” She shivered and sat down. “You’ve made me question my own sanity. Made me wonder if someone else had a hand in doing something diabolical to him. But this?

The pause was long and awkward.

“This is way over the top. Wasn’t on my list of things I’d be discussing with the first man I had sex with.”

“I understand how you feel. Again, I’m sorry. This isn’t coming out the right way…”

“So, are you responsible for his death, if it can be
called
that?”

“No. Not at all.” Josh knew the question was going to come. The one question he hadn’t wanted to answer.

“And what does that make you?” she asked.

Here it is at last.
Josh hesitated. “A lover of human women?” he tried.

“Translation, please.”

“I am a dark angel too.”

“So you’re dead too?” she shouted. “I’ve had sex with a dead person?”

“Did I feel dead to you?” he answered, coming to his own defense.

“No,” she said in a little voice. Almost soft. Josh’s heart ached.

He sucked in air. He’d never thought of himself as dead. In the technical sense of the word, he was, of course. But his immortal life was as real—perhaps more real—than a human’s.

“Dark angels are, by definition, dead, Melanie. Like Guardians. There
are
Guardian angels. I’ve met them.”

Why am I telling her this?

“Angels come back to hang about the living. We each have our own purpose.”

 She didn’t laugh this time, but fiddled with her hands clasped in the middle of her lap. He wasn’t sure her nervousness was from the new information, or the fact that she still thought he was playing a sick joke on her. A joke that wasn’t funny in the slightest.

“Like this is supposed to make sense to me. You don’t honestly believe I can buy this…this
philosophy
? Or, is this a religion I’ve somehow missed out on?”

He could see she was trying to come to grips with all of it. But no, she hadn’t accepted it as truth.

“No religion. No politics. I shy away from such things. I don’t do hero worship. I don’t worship things I don’t understand.”

She nodded her head. “That’s what I thought I was doing.” She fiddled with her fingers again. “So, now what?” she bravely asked him.

“There’s so much you don’t know about all this, and it’s not healthy for me to tell you too much, except to say that Felix still cares for you a great deal and he’s jealous of the time I have spent with you. Now he will be absolutely beside himself. I have to deal with that next.”

“Should I fear him?”

“No. I have him watched. There are consequences if he’s inappropriate.”

“And having sex with me isn’t inappropriate? Kind of a double standard, don’t you think?” she huffed.

Josh had to agree. “Melanie, if you like, I can arrange a meeting. Would you like that?”

“And what about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Where do you stand with this whole thing? I mean, in this passion play, what’s your role?”

“Oh,
that
. I’m the one that’s mucked it all up. That’s who I am.” Josh got up and strode to the bedroom, where he began to dress. Melanie appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching him put on his pants and buckle his belt. He put his new blue shirt, wrinkled from its slumber on the floor all night. He tucked it in, and looked at the little blond human woman who made his heart ache. He wondered what she could possibly be thinking.

“I will arrange a meeting with Felix in the next day or so. I’ve got to find him first, so give me a little time. I’m sure you’ll want to get reacquainted.”

“What about us?”

“Us? You mean you and Felix?” Josh asked, squinting at her.

“You and I,” she said. “You know, the getting nekked together and…”

“There
is
no you and I. It was an unwise fantasy on my part. I overstepped my bounds. I’ll be paying a price for it. And I am
truly
sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

He saw her eyes had welled up. Then she examined the floor after taking a deep breath and letting it out. He could see something inside her had settled.

“I’m not.” She said in that child’s voice again. She floated over to where he was standing. She was so close he could feel the heat radiating off her body. Her jasmine perfume tickled his nose, almost making him sneeze. She put her palm on his cheek. Although he wanted to kiss her wrist down to her arm and do more, he held back.

Carefully, he grasped her forearm and pulled her away. “It probably isn’t wise.”

“I wasn’t looking for wise. I was looking for…something
unwise.”
Her voice was husky. “Can love exist between a dark angel and a human?” She stepped back. “God, I can’t believe I’m even saying that.”

“No, I don’t think so. I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t love me then?” Her eyebrows creased over the bridge of her nose, tears forming. They quickly spilled over and down her cheeks.

“Even if I told you I did, I also told you I would never hurt you, and I already have. Not more than an hour later I hurt you, took something away from you forever. You can’t trust me. It would be healthier if you didn’t see me again.”

He turned to exit the room, anxious to get away to clear his head, but she grabbed his arm.

“Tell me. Stand here and tell me you don’t care anything for me. I want the truth.” She laced her fingers between his and searched his face.

He extricated himself from her grasp and continued out the bedroom, then down the hall to the front door. He stood, his hand on the front door knob and his back to her.

“Josh, tell me the truth. I want the truth right now.”

He opened the door, which let out a loud creak and, staring into the sunny stairway to face the rest of his immortal life, he turned to her. It took more courage than he thought it would. Her sharp command had melted his resolve.

“Heaven help me, Melanie, but I do love you.”

Chapter 20

Josh had to find Felix fast. Things were spinning out of control. His biggest concern was getting Peter involved before Josh had a chance to calm the young angel down. He shuddered when he thought of the new director and his minions of dark winged creatures that had once called themselves human.

The impasse with Melanie bothered him more than anything had bothered him in the last hundred years. She’d agreed to a meeting with Felix. He refused to spend any more time with her until the young dark angel was brought under control. Though there was much at stake, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her about Peter. In an odd twist of fate, he figured Peter’s lust for Melanie might be what could save her in the end.

One of Karl’s buddies said he had accompanied Felix to the Underworld. Josh made his way over to the limo transport and sat in the drafty garage. The corrugated metal roof rattled in the wind, as if someone on top was trying to rip it free. The duffel bags that were stacked up last trip had been cleaned up. The garage was freshly swept. A gas overhead heater had been installed, which kicked on as soon as he sat on the new wooden bench. The orange glowing heating coils clicked and snapped like a piece of cracking wood until the sound of the limo’s engine drowned it out. The brakes squeaked as the machine came to a stop.

There was a huge male driver today, who had a fat neck spilling over a white collar that was a size too tight. The front windows were no longer tinted. As the rear doors opened with a great sucking sound, two men and a woman came out.

The woman looked like a pro—a nice long-legged working girl with long, straight red hair. He didn’t recognize any of them. Normally he would have found an excuse to dally, redheads being his favorite.

Not today.

Today was all about finding a young dark angel who was bent on doing something stupid and juvenile. Felix didn’t understand that he could not only cause problems for Josh, but could also get himself vaporized in the process. Josh regretted not giving him more training before they’d embarked on the Melanie fiasco.

He deposited his frame on the rear seat, then the limo sped off to the Underworld.

Josh’s thoughts wandered. Once he’d met Melanie, he couldn’t find the strength to stay away. And now he had a huge problem, with no solution in sight.

He remembered her standing in the hallway this morning as he told her he loved her. She’d tilted her head to the side and then ran to him, covering him with kisses. No one in the Underworld would believe it if he told them that he’d used the
love
word. He’d always instructed his trainees love didn’t exist. Told them it was impossible for a dark angel to catch the love bug. It was baggage that sometimes followed them from the human world. No more. And it wasn’t anything a few pleasures in Undertown couldn’t take care of.

A fantasy for fools and the weaker races.

 But there he’d been, covered with adoring kisses. Even after she’d learned he was a dark angel. There had to be something wrong with her. Maybe she had special powers she didn’t know about. Anything was possible.

The transport station on the Underworld side was undergoing a facelift. There was more orange light. Josh exited the limo and found a new shiny refreshment stand had opened up, offering RedEcstasy spritzers and RedEcstasy ale, along with a good assortment of magazines from the human world, including some cooking and gardening magazines. What was this, he thought? Trying to simulate the human world? It was quite the sell job for the new recruits.

The crowd was even more colorful than before. Music blared from two room-sized loudspeakers powerful enough to perhaps awaken the human population above.

Beau’s gonna love this.