Authors: Annalisa Nicole
“I’m . . . I’m beautiful,” I whisper.
“Say it louder,” he says, touching himself to my entrance.
“Ah, I . . . I’m beautiful,” I say louder.
He sinks inside of me and I breathe a sigh of relief. Instantly I come undone, repeating over and over that I’m beautiful. He stills inside me with his own relief.
Still joined, he looks in my eyes. “Say it again,” he whispers on my lips, pushing my hair to the side.
“I’m beautiful,” I say, and kiss him. For the first time since I was nine, wearing dress up clothes and dancing around my mother’s kitchen, I feel beautiful—and it’s not just another lie I tell myself. He kisses me again and again, then presses his forehead to mine.
“I’ve fallen in love with you,” he whispers.
“I’ve fallen, then collapsed, in love with you,” I tell him.
He chuckles on my lips, then removes himself. He helps me off the counter, kisses the front of my shoulder, then leaves the bathroom. He comes back in fully dressed, and hands me my clothes. I get dressed and dry my hair. Side by side we get ready for our day. I take my eyeliner from my cosmetic bag and line my eyes.
“Can I see that for a second?” he asks.
Oh, now you’re kidding me, right? He talks me into saying that I’m beautiful and makes me collapse in love with him, and now he wants to put on my eyeliner. Out of curiosity, I hand it to him. If he puts it on, I’m bolting. He stands behind me and widens his stance so he’s eye level with me. He takes my hand and puts the eyeliner in it, like a pencil. With his hand on top of mine, he reaches toward the mirror and writes just above my head, three little words.
I am beautiful.
He kisses the side of my face, lets go of my hand, and then leaves the bathroom again.
I look at the words just above my head, then at the radiant blonde in the reflection. Who is this woman? My cheeks are flushed; my lips have that freshly kissed look to them and are turned up in a smile. I do look beautiful. Aiden makes me feel beautiful. I look back up at the writing on the mirror and I whisper it out loud, one more time to myself.
Aiden and I drive to Mt. Rainier and hiked. Well, I wouldn’t really call it hiking. It was more like we walked around Mt. Rainier all day. He was always by my side, holding my hand or holding me close around my shoulder. Later, like the nights before, I slept in his bed, wrapped in his arms, made to feel beautiful.
Thursday, Aiden picks me up from school and takes me to the Space Needle. I never knew the Seattle skyline was so beautiful at night. It’s a warm, crystal clear night, and I can see twinkling stars lining the night sky for miles and miles. Standing at the top with the wind in my face and Aiden holding me tight, I try to push down the fear that this will all be taken away from me, because it eventually will, right? After, Aiden takes me to dinner at Jax’s restaurant. I find myself laughing out loud at Aiden’s jokes. Not just laughing, but that loud, obnoxious, open mouth, deep belly laugh that just feels so good. It’s the kind of laugh that only happens when crap isn’t weighing down your mind. After dinner we have wine, and share a sinful dessert. Alright, we didn’t exactly share. I ate more than my fair share, but Aiden insisted. On the way home, as I look at the shadows of passing buildings dance on his handsome face, that nagging feeling in the back of my throat creeps up. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye and takes my hand. The nagging feeling is replaced with a warm, mushy, fuzzy feeling. It will happen. I know it will. It’s just a matter of time and a matter of how deep I let him in. The deeper I let him in, the harder it’s going to hurt. We’re made to break. Break, I can handle, I know how to recover from that. But this, this will be more than a break. I’m being shown how a princess is treated, living it day after day. This will not be a break. This will shatter everything I have.
As I crawl into bed with Aiden, he wraps me in his arms and tucks me into his side with a sigh and a deep hum in the back of his throat, as he rests his chin behind my neck. That sigh says it all. He’s in just as deep as I am.
Friday morning we wake to our morning ritual. I get in the shower while Aiden makes coffee. When I get out of the shower, he gets in. I gawk at his beautiful body while I miss brushing half of my teeth.
“After school tonight I have to work at the bar. I should really stay at my place tonight. My plants need to be watered, and I really need to do laundry,” I say, as he rinses his hair.
He looks at me out the glass shower door in disapproval. “You can do laundry here,” he says, distracting me as he touches himself.
“I only have a few pieces of clothing here. The rest is scattered all over my bedroom floor,” I tell him. I’ve been living off of only a few items of clothing all week now.
“What time does your shift at the bar start?” he asks, shutting off the water, grabbing a towel.
“Eight,” I tell him, watching him dry off.
“I can pick you up from school, we can get some dinner, then I can take you back to your house to pick up some clothes. Then I’ll drop you off at work,” he says. I guess he’s got it all figured out.
“Really, you don’t have to do that. I work until two in the morning. I’ll go home, I’ll sleep in, do some laundry, some studying,” I tell him.
He presses himself to my back and it feels so nice. “I need you in my bed. I don’t care if it’s two o’clock in the morning. I’ll come and get you,” he says, kissing the back of my neck.
I close my eyes and lose my train of thought. “I don’t want to be a bother. I can drive Ruby; she needs to be run anyway, right? I’m sure you have more important things to do,” I tell him. I’m kind of excited to drive Ruby. I’ve missed her. I mean Jade is nice to ride in, but I miss my girl.
“The only thing I want to do is you, in my bed, tonight,” he says, turning me around in his arms.
“Oh my God, that’s like the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard,” I say, swatting his arm, giggling.
“Is it working?” he asks. “If it makes you happy, you can drive Ruby to work. I don’t mind driving her back home,” he says, kissing my lips.
Is Ruby home? Is this Ruby’s new home, in Aiden’s garage, next to Jade?
“Oh, alright. But I’m holding you to me driving Ruby tonight,” I tell him. I turn back around and finish getting dressed.
Aiden leaves the bathroom to get dressed for work. Today it’s a crisp black suit with a white dress shirt and a white tie with black slanted horizontal stripes. He looks so damn irresistible. And this man wants me in his bed tonight?
I grab the coffees, we get in Jade, and he takes me to school. All day at school, I can’t concentrate. All I can think of is taking that damn tie off of Aiden and what I want to do with it in bed tonight.
Aiden picks me up right at five, I get in his car, and he looks just as handsome as he did this morning. I’d say probably even a little sexier. He’s got a five o’clock shadow going on, and with his black suit he looks delicious.
“I thought we’d make dinner at home tonight. What do you think?” he asks.
“You can cook, too?” I ask wide-eyed. Are you kidding me? He’s like the whole package and then some.
“I have two sisters and a mother who insisted that we all knew how to cook, clean, iron, and do the dishes. I think Asher failed at all of those. I don’t know, maybe his hands are too delicate being a CEO and all,” he says laughing.
And he thinks I say crazy crap. The way his family lovingly picks on each other is hilarious.
We get home and make an easy spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread and a Caesar salad. It hit my belly and made it dance it was so good.
“I’ll clean the dishes, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you find a movie or something for us to watch before I have to go to work?” I say, pushing him out of the kitchen.
“You’ve been at school all day, you helped me cook, and you have to work until two in the morning, I’ll clean the kitchen. You go sit down and relax for a while,” he says, turning around.
“I must insist,” I say, wagging my eyebrows at him.
He laughs at me, something I make him do quite often. It’s something that also brings a smile to my face.
“Alright, I’ll go find something and queue it up. But then I’m coming back in here to help you,” he says, kissing me on the lips. He turns around and heads out into the family room.
I start putting leftovers away and load the dishwasher. It must be taking him a long time to find something to watch. I don’t have all that long before I have to head to work. I put the last dish in the dishwasher, then wipe down the counters. I walk out of the kitchen and see Aiden sitting on the couch, his head back on the cushion, sleeping.
I lean against the kitchen doorjamb and smile at him. I’ll let him sleep. I can go home and get my things then bring them back here. That’ll give him a nice little nap. I grab my purse from the back of the kitchen chair and pull out my keys. They fall to the wooden floor with a big thunk. My face makes a giant, silent, ahh face, as I hope it didn’t wake him up.
“Savvy?” Aiden calls.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. You sleep, I’m just going to go grab a few things from home and come back. You can take a little kitty nap while I’m gone, then you can come with me to work with Ruby,” I tell him.
“No, it’s alright. I’m up, I can take you,” he says, starting to get up.
“Aiden, I’m a big girl. Besides, I miss my Ruby girl. She and I need some one-on-one alone time. I’ll be back in forty-five minutes, tops,” I tell him, walking over to him. I put my hand on his face, lean down and kiss him.
“It’s been a rough week at the office with this merger. A little
kitty nap,
as you say, sounds nice. You sure you’ll be alright with Ruby?” he asks.
“You have Ruby in top notch condition. Besides, I had a little chat with her and we have an understanding. We’ll be just fine,” I assure him.
“Drive safe, and call me right away if there are any problems with the car. I have my cell phone right here,” he says, patting the front pocket of his pants.
“I’ll see you in a little bit,” I say, then walk down the hallway toward the garage. I’m super excited to be alone with Ruby. And more so, I’m glad Aiden isn’t coming with me so he doesn’t see my messy room and what a slob I’ve been. I think there are clothes hanging from the ceiling fan blades. I’m usually not a messy person, but between school and work, I just haven’t had the time. Oh, who am I kidding? I kind of am a slob.
“Make sure you bring enough clothes and whatever else you need back with you, like a whole week’s worth. No, make that a month’s worth. If I’m not awake when you get back, wake me up so I can help you bring everything in,” he calls down the hallway.
Is he for real? He wants me to bring a month’s worth of stuff. Number one, I don’t have a month’s worth of clothes. And two, again, is he for real?
Chapter 6
Aiden
As soon as Savvy left, my heavy eyes closed. It seemed no sooner than they closed, they pop back open. What time is it? I look at my watch; Savvy should have been back twenty minutes ago. She has to be at work in five minutes. She wouldn’t have just gone straight to work, would she? I reach in my pocket and dig out my cell phone and call her number, it rings then goes to voicemail. I hang up and call Deuces.
“Deuces,” a female voice answers.
“Savvy?” I ask still a little disoriented from sleeping.
“No, she’s not in just yet. She should be here in about five minutes. Can I take a message and have her call you back?” she asks.
“Is Gary there?” I ask.
“He’s here somewhere. I haven’t seen him in over an hour though. I don’t know exactly where he is. Look, we’re slammed here, and I’m by myself, can I take a message or not?” she asks impatiently.
“Can you go look out in the parking lot and see if Savvy’s little red car is there?” I ask getting concerned.
“Are you kidding me right now? You want me to go out into the parking lot and leave liquor unattended with a bunch of crazy men on a Friday night, to look for Savvy’s car. Look, she’s never late, she’ll be here in five minutes, call back,” she says, and hangs up.
I try Savvy’s cell phone again. No answer.
I’ve called her cell phone four times now; she’s not answering. I knew I shouldn’t have let her take Ruby by herself. She’s probably stranded somewhere between her house and mine, and I’ve been here sleeping. It’s been days without any word from Reno or the brown Chevy. Why did I just think that? I don’t know why that just popped into my head. Savvy had finally started to believe that she was safe and finally stopped looking over her shoulder all the time. She’s been laughing, and finally believes that good things can happen to her without them being ripped out from under her. I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, something is wrong. I try her cell phone one more time; it doesn’t even ring this time, it goes straight to voice mail. I disconnect and immediately call Max.
“Yo,” he answers.
“Max, Savvy isn’t picking up her phone, I don’t know where she is. It could just be her car, but I can’t shake this feeling,” I tell him.
“Hold up. When’s the last place you saw her?” he asks.
“Here, a little over an hour ago. She went home to grab a few things, and then I was going to take her to work tonight. I knew I should have taken her home myself. There’s been no sighting of Reno or the brown Chevy. I can’t shake this feeling, though. I don’t think this is her car. Man, I fucked up. I feel it. Call your men in; you need to get on this. I’m going to head over to her place right now,” I tell him.
“Hold on, man,” he says, stopping me from hanging up, then his voice is muffled and he continues. “Levi, pull up the backup footage feed from the street cam surveillance of Savvy’s condo for the last forty-five minutes.”
“The system is still coming back up. It’ll take me a few minutes to get it back on line and pull up the backup data,” Levi returns.
“You have Savvy’s house under surveillance? When did you do that?” I ask him concerned. Should I have been more concerned about all of this? “What the fuck is going on? Why do you have her house under surveillance, she’s been staying at my house?” I ask him irritated.