Unfinished Business An Angela Panther Novel (A Chick-lit Paranormal book) (The Angela Panther Series) (20 page)

“Nah, I’m good.”

Josh stood in the kitchen with me while I prepared a plate of leftover sesame chicken and fried rice and gave me the rundown on a new tank the military is using. For him, it was nothing less than a miracle, for me, it was verbal Ambien, but I gave listening my all. “That sounds pretty cool, Little Man, and you know what, I think Grandpa watched that same show yesterday.” I knew did because I'd watched it with him.

“Grandpa and me both watch the Military channel a lot.”

“Yes, you do, and I know he thinks it’s pretty awesome that you like it as much as he does.”

“I think it’s pretty awesome, too." Something on the TV distracted him and he was back on the couch pushing Emily’s outstretched legs back to her side.

“Josh, you got up. I’m here now. You move it, you lose it, little brother.”

“But I get my place back.”

Seriously? I just walked in not even ten minutes ago and they’d already started. And conveniently Jake was nowhere to be found. How did he always time that so well? “The couch is plenty big enough for both of you. Figure it out or the TV goes off and everyone goes upstairs. I just got home, cut me some slack, will you?”

I went back to my food and tried to eat, but couldn’t. Lucky for the kids, they decided to take me seriously for a change. Probably sensed the seriousness in my tone or saw my face turn beetroot red and were afraid I’d pop a blood vessel and tell them to clean it up.

###

L
ater that night, after the kids went to bed, Jake and I sat on the couch and snuggled. I burrowed my head into his chest and breathed heavily.

“Are you breathing heavily because you missed me or is that a yawn?”

I actually yawned just because he said the word. “Well, it started out as a
because I missed you
breath, but it ended up more of a yawn.”

“So I’m not getting lucky tonight?”

I yawned again, but not to say no, just because I was a lot more tired than I thought and because I said the word yawn. “Would you mind waiting until the morning? I’m pretty tired.”

“I can see that." He pushed the hair away from my face. “Let’s go to bed.”

So we did. And he actually just snuggled. See, miracles really did happen.

I don’t know if I’m peri-menopausal, menopausal, or just an insomniac, but even though my body screamed for sleep, my brain just wouldn’t shut down. Jake gave me two Melatonin and I took a Benadryl, but even that medicinal cocktail wasn’t strong enough because it was the middle of the night and I was still wide awake. I would have bet that even God was asleep. I laid there for what seemed like an eternity until I finally gave up, grabbed my phone from the charger, and tip toed downstairs. I texted Mel on the way.

“Stupid Eve. I’m wide awake.”

She texted back in record-breaking time. “Duck Eve.”

Oh, auto correct, how fun you could be. It rarely let Mel swear and made me laugh every time it corrected her foul fingers.

“Yeah, duck her. That beyotch. She keeping you awake too?”

“Nah. I had to pee.”

“Thanks for sharing.”

“At least I’m honest.”

“There is that.”

“You’re home?”

“Yup.”

“How’d it go?”

I walked into the den and shut the doors so no one would hear the TV.

“Okay. Will tell you tomorrow. Trying to calm my brain.”

“Let me know how that works for you.”

She then graciously let me know my favorite movie with my favorite eye candy actor was on HBO, so I clicked over and we texted about how much he needed someone like me in his life, because it was probably extremely boring and mundane with his one hundred and four pound anorexic, twenty-something girlfriend. Mel and me, we liked to dream. A lot.

“How did you know it was on if you were sleeping?”

“It’s been on for the past six hours.”

“Oh. One of those deals.”

“Yup.”

A few minutes later I was still watching hunk-o-meat save the world from aliens and Mel texted that she was going back to bed.

“Okay. Chat tomorrow. Night.”

“Night.”

It wasn’t fair that she could sleep when my body betrayed me. I continued to watch the show, snuggled up in the blanket my mother had with her the day she passed. It still smelled of her Eternity perfume and it was comforting.

“That’s a soft blanket, isn’t it?" Ma asked.

I jumped at the sound of her voice. “Cheese and rice, Mother! Stop scaring me like that. Can’t you give me some kind of warning?”

She laughed. “Ah, sure, Ang, you want I should blink the lights or say boo? Haven’t we had this conversation already?”

“Real funny, Ma.”

“Well." She floated over to chair next to me. “I see someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed tonight.”

“That would require me to actually fall asleep first.”

“Probably you should go to a doctor about that, Angela. They’ve got all sorts of medicines for menopause now, you know.”

“I am not in menopause, Mother.”

She snorted. “Yeah, and I’m a virgin.”

I did my best imitation of Emily and rolled my eyes at her, then turned back to hunk-o-meat on my TV.

She gawked at him, too. “Ah, now that’s a boy I wouldn’t mind teaching a few things, if you know what I mean.”

“Mother, please.”

“What? Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean I’m, well...crap,” she paused for a second to think. “I guess it does mean I’m dead, but I can still appreciate what a man’s got to offer, even if he could be my son.”

“Grandson, mother, and gross.”

“Why? You think you got here by being born to a virgin in a stable? Let me tell you, back in the day, I knew how to use what I got.” She cupped her rather large bosom.

“Great. Now I’m gonna have nightmares.”

“Not if you’re not sleeping, you won’t.”

I remembered then about Dad’s dream. “Hey, Dad said he had a dream about Great Grandpa Guy. Do you know anything about that?”

She nodded.

“Well, can you tell me anything about it?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“We got rules, remember?”

“Ma, screw the rules. I couldn’t give a rat’s butt about your rules. What’s going on with Dad?”

“They’re not my rules, Angela.”

“Fine. Whatever. You come here, you tell me you’re here for a reason, for some unfinished business, then you tell me you’re here for me, but you can’t tell me why because you’ve got these rules, and then you tell me I have to rush to see Dad but you won’t tell me what the hell is going on, Ma. Are you here because of Dad, Ma? Is Dad going to die soon?”

“Everyone dies, Angela and I
have
told you why I’m here, but you’re not listening. I’m here because you still need me, Angela.”

“I know everybody is going to die, Ma. That’s not what I asked.” She was right, at least sort of. “Is that it, Ma? Is that really the reason you keep coming back, why you don’t stay in Heaven? Because I still need you? What do I need you
for
, Ma?”

Ma sighed heavily. “A daughter always needs her mother, Angela. And I’d still be alive if I didn’t get that damn cancer, alive and still here for you. I still had some good years left in me, you know? Madone, I still had stuff to do. I wanted to watch my grandkids grow up. I wanted to have sex again. Maybe a few times, even. So forgive me if I’m sticking around because I can, and forgive me if Heaven has rules, and I can’t tell you everything.”

She lost me for a second at the sex part, but I regained focus quickly.

She was upset and kept talking. “Your brothers, they need me, too. And your cousin Roxanne. She wanted my meatballs and gravy recipe and I never got the chance to make it with her. Now she’s gotta use your version and we both know it’s not as good as mine. Oh dee, I needed more time.”

“I’m sorry, Ma but it’s like you’re talking in code. One minute you tell me you’re here because I still need you, then the next minute you’re telling me you can’t tell me anything because of the rules.” I paused for a second and gave myself a face palm. It finally hit me. My mother may have not been able to
tell
me what was going on, but her
not telling
me was actually her way of telling me. Slowly the pieces started to come together.
Get along with your brothers because pretty soon they’ll be all you have left. Things are going to change. I can see things, you know. Go see your father.
Little by little Ma dropped hints and I’d known it all along but it wasn’t actually real. “Oh my God, Ma.”

Ma’s face sank.

“This is about Dad, isn’t it?” I repeated the bits and pieces, the hints Ma had given me over the past few months.

She nodded.

“I’ve known, Ma. I knew that’s what you were saying, but, I don’t know, I just wanted to hear it, I guess. Wanted to hear the actual words.”

“It’s the rules, Angela.”

“Do you know when?” I knew it was a long shot, but I had to ask.

She shook her head. “They don’t tell us that stuff. I just want you to be prepared, Angela.”

At some point during the conversation I’d stood up, but I didn’t recall doing it. I sat back down, the reality sinking in.

“What should I do, Ma?”

She floated closer to me and put her hands up near my face. I closed my eyes, willing myself to feel her comforting touch. I could almost feel it. Almost.

“Be ready, Angela. Just be ready. That’s all I can say honey or I may not be able to come back. I know I’m gonna get in trouble for this already.”

I realized I’d been getting on Ma about these rules without really understanding anything. She’d been here for me, to help me, and I’d acted like a spoiled brat. “Ma. God, I’m sorry. I’m such a selfish daughter. I won’t ask you anything else about this. I promise. Please don’t leave.” I started to cry.

“Aw Madone, Angela. Don’t cry. You’re going to be okay." But we both knew that wasn’t true.

M
el and I met at Starbucks the next morning. We grabbed our drinks, said hello to Jenn and sat outside. This time our favorite spot wasn’t taken. I still thought I should ask them to put our names on the chairs, just in case.

“What’s up with everyone coming to our Starbucks?"

“I don’t know but it’s starting to tick me off. It’s not like there aren’t three more within a two-mile stretch.”

We tapped Starbucks cups in agreement. I filled her in on my trip, but didn’t mention last night’s conversation with Ma. I wasn’t ready to deal with it publicly yet, and besides, I didn’t want to mess things up for my mother, what with the rules and all. In truth, I was being selfish. Ma said they could stop her from coming back here and if that happened, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d already lost her once. I didn’t think I could handle losing her again.

Mel listened to me without interrupting. When I finally stopped talking and took a sip of my coffee, she smiled. “I’m so sorry he’s not well, Ang.”

It’s funny how such simple words could lift the heaviness from me, but they did. Mel has the ability to make me feel calm in the midst of angst. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. Mel is the yin to my yang. She balances the good with the naughty and the bad with the wholesome.

“And Helen, she’s going through so much with him right now. I feel for both of them."

“Yeah, I do too. I’m just thankful he has her, you know?”

“Well, you know if she wasn’t around, you’d be there taking care of him. You’d probably move your family there so he wouldn’t have to move out here because that’s just who you are.”

I smiled at my friend, who totally got me. “Let’s change the subject. I wanna tell you about these parties the kids are having.”

“Oooh, I love a good party story. Spill it."

“These aren’t good parties, Mel.” I told her about the pill bowls and what the kids did.

“Holy mother of God! Are you kidding me?”

“Nope. Ma did a little snooping and filled me in.”

“Wait. Fran snooped? What do you mean?”

“Oh, you’re gonna love this one.” I told her about the book throwing and phone breaking and scaring the crap out of my daughter’s fifteen-year-old frienemy.

She threw her head back and laughed. “Oh my God! I so want your mother to haunt some people for me.”

We both giggled. “Yeah, I know. Can you imagine? She could scare the crap out of all those snooty women at the gym.”

“Screw that. She needs to haunt my kids,” she paused, and I could tell her brain was working overtime. “Yeah, she totally needs to haunt my kids. Maybe she can say stuff like,
pick up your cloooothes
when they leave their crap all over my mudroom. And she can do it in a really scary ghost voice, you know? That would be totally amazing. Oh, I’m starting to sweat thinking about it. I think I might have a ghost-gasm.”

“That’s gross. You can’t talk about any kind of ’gasm and reference my mother. Besides, if she did that to them, their therapy would cost millions.”

She let that sink in. “Ah man. You’re right, dammit.”

“It’s a gift.”

“So what are you going to do about Em and these parties?”

“I don’t know. Jake said she’s still not asked to spend any time with Taylor, so my guess is they’re still not talking, which, actually, isn’t a bad thing, considering. I just don’t know how to approach it, and you know how Emily is. If I say anything even slightly parental sounding, she goes all teenage angst on me and has a drama attack. I’m trying to figure out an approach that won’t cause that.”

“Humph. Good luck with that. If you figure it out, write a book about it because you’ll be rich.”

We drank to that.

“I think I’m going to tell her I read something about it online or something. You know, just sort of casually mention it, and see if that can start a conversation.”

“Don’t be surprised if that doesn’t work. To get her to talk you’ll probably have to tie her down and threaten to take away her cell phone.”

“That might be an idea, actually, because...” I stopped talking and started laughing.

“What?”

“Oh my gawd. Do you see that?”

Mel stared into the parking lot. “See what?”

I laughed. “Please, please tell me you can see that. Please.”