Unforgivable (41 page)

He was sitting up against the wall where he’d been nailed. She wrapped her arms around him and tried to stand up. He put his hands on her back, but jerked away in pain.

“Let me try this without your help,” she said, then grunted with exertion. He braced his shoulder against the wall and shakily got to his feet. She kept her arms around him for a moment, relishing the feel of him alive and warm next to her. A moment was all she could spare. “Let’s go,” she said and guided him toward the door.

The smoke rolled through the trees now, obliterating the forest in the distance. She swore she could hear the crackle of flames, though she couldn’t see any through the smoke. He coughed with the first inhalation of smoke. Her lungs were almost used to the burning feeling, but each breath she took was getting shallower, more painful. His balance was off, too, making them sway as they headed toward the red gate.  It was closed, and just beyond it sat the Navigator. 

When they reached the car, she helped him lean his forearms against the hood and yanked open the door. Only it didn’t open because it was locked. At least the hood was still closed and the tires were intact. Ben hadn’t bothered to tamper with the car because he hadn’t expected Silas to get out of that barn. The thought shivered through her as sinister as the smoke around her.

“Stay here for a second. I’ll be right back.”

She could barely see the woods on the other side of the road for the smoke. She ventured to the highway to see if another car was anywhere nearby to help her. She doubted if the road was even open with the smoke cutting down the visibility. Returning to Silas, she hoped against hope the keys were somewhere in his pockets. Finding them sent a rush of relief through her. She helped him into the passenger seat and reclined it before closing him in. He looked the color of concrete. 

She started the car and backed out onto the highway. At least they were heading away from the fires as they returned to her house. No sign of Ben there, either. She told Silas to stay put and ran inside to get Gary. He was groggily trying to get to his feet.

“What happened?” he asked in a slurred voice, rubbing the back of his head. His fingers came away sticky with blood.

“Ben hit you with a pipe. Come on, I’ve got to get you and Silas to the hospital.”

“Ben? Silas?” he said, letting her lead him to the Navigator.

“It’s a long story.”

She helped Gary into the back seat and headed toward Gray, the nearest major hospital. Silas was looking at her in a glassy kind of way as she drove. She reached over and touched his arm before returning to the task of driving like hell.

Katie had, of course, been questioned when she brought in two victims with concussions and the injuries Silas had sustained. Sheriff Tate had been contacted and had asked that Katie remain at the hospital until he could break free and find out what—his words—in tarnation was going on. She’d tried to tell the Gray police officer about Ben, but whatever Tate had told him had the man giving her questionable looks. 

The adrenaline had long since drained away to leave her as limp as wet toilet paper by the time she had been looked at. All she wanted to do was collapse in the waiting area. Instead, she hauled herself to the pay phone and called Bertrice. Katie’s first prayer was that Bertrice was there, safe and sound. The next prayer was that her mother wouldn’t answer. 

It rang several times, long enough for Katie to think about whether she wanted to leave a message if a machine answered. Finally, it was Bertrice’s breathless voice that said, “Hello?”

Katie slumped against the phone booth partition. “Thank God you’re okay!” Tears of relief slipped into her voice. “I’d heard that Ben gave you a ride home, and Ben’s a—I don’t want to get into that right now. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Katie, is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me. I know you don’t like me—”

“Katie, I like you. I was just pissed about you telling Mom about my belly-button ring. I’m sorry I got so mad and quit.”

“I didn’t tell your mom about that ring; Ben did. Ask your mom. He probably told her I asked him to call, but I never even mentioned it to him. He must have overheard us. Anyway, that’s not why I’m calling. I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“I’m fine. We’re getting the house ready in case the fires move in. Did you hear, they’re tracking a big storm system that’s heading this way. They’re holding off on the evacuations for now. Do you and Ben need help getting your place ready, just in case? We’re almost done here.”

“Don’t go near Ben! No matter what, if you see him, don’t go near him.” Katie couldn’t keep the fear from her voice.

“Katie, you’re scaring me. I mean, Ben was acting weird. He was taking me home, right, and he saw Silas’s truck parked on the side of the road and he went, like, nuts. He got stopped at the intersection because of the fire, and he told me to get out of the car, that the cops would get me home. Then he took off.”

“All you need to know right now is he can’t be trusted.”

“Oh, my God, Katie, you’re calling from the hospital in Gray. What’s going on? Are you all right?”

She must have caller ID. “Silas and Gary are both here. I think they’ll be all right, though Silas was hurt pretty bad. I”—she turned to the orderly who had just called her name—“I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

They let her in to see Silas. He was still in the emergency area. Her knees went weak at the sight of him lying in bed. A gauze bandage was wrapped around his head, and his hands were bandaged. At least his eyes were a little more focused now and they followed her into the curtained room.

“You all right?” he asked in a slightly slurred voice.

“You’ve got to be kidding. You’re the one in the emergency room and you’re asking me if I’m all right?” She leaned against the side of the bed and pushed back a strand of his hair. “Can’t you tell I’m all right now?”

He shook his head, then closed his eyes. “Still dizzy when I do that.” He opened his eyes again. “I can’t feel anything. It’s gone. Maybe the blow to my head dislodged something. Tell me what happened. I was in that barn and everything went dark. I barely remember you getting me out of there.”

He looked even paler after she was finished telling him everything. “I should have figured it out before it was too late,” he said.

“You were doing everything you could.”

“You were living with a serial killer for God’s sake! You could have been killed.”

“Not while we were living together. Those women were only objects to him. He saw me as a person.”

He closed his eyes for a few minutes. Just when she thought he was asleep, he mumbled, “You let him get away.”

“What did you say?”

His voice was so faint, she had to lean closer to hear him. “You should have left me and called someone to catch him. Now he’ll keep killing. And if I can’t feel him anymore, I won’t be able to find him again.”

Her fingers tightened on the edge of the bed. “If you’ll recall, I let him go to save your life. You’re saying that was wrong?”

He lifted his hand toward her, but let it drop on the bed. “I’m just one life. He’s going to keep killing…innocent women…no way to stop him now.”

“Ben said I was selfish. Maybe I am. Maybe I saved you because I love you. Because I had some insane idea that I could get you to accept that love. I see that’s impossible.” The tears she’d been holding back all this time started filling her eyes, and she swiped them away. “You can’t even accept the gift of your life! How could you ever accept love?”

“Katie,” he said in a slurred voice, lifting his bandaged hand again.

She stood. “No, don’t say anything. Let me talk. If you want to live your life in the shadows, I can’t stop you. But I’m not going to let you be my protector or my caretaker unless you learn to accept protection and care-taking, too. It’s a two-way street. You can’t keep being some guardian angel from a distance. I’ve given years of my life to a man I don’t think I ever really loved, because I felt I owed him. You have my heart, maybe you always have, and I want to give it to you. I can’t be in a one-sided relationship anymore. I want it all. I’ve tasted what’s been missing my whole life: passion, real love, emotion. That’s your fault, fella. I expect nothing less from you. If you can’t give me that, and accept it from me, then you’re going to Atlanta without me.”

She could see the pain in his eyes, but she had to stay strong.

“Katie, I…I’ve been doing it from a distance so long, I don’t know how to do it up close.”

“Do what?” She wanted to hear the words. 

He met her eyes for a moment.
Say it, dammit. 

“Love you,” he said finally in a pained voice. “I’m not sure I can be the person you need me to be. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life.”

“You can’t have it both ways anymore, Silas.” She glanced down at the bandaged hand that rested next to hers. “I’m sorry to lay this on you right now. Almost losing you made me evaluate a lot of things. I’ve been a fool for a long time. I’m taking charge of my life. I have to, for my own sanity. I’m going to find Ben. Unfortunately, I’ll have to use your car since I don’t have one. Another mark on the fool chart for me.” She started to take a step away.

“Katie, wait.”

“What?”

“Don’t go looking for him without me. He’ll kill you this time.” He started to get up, but she put her hand on his chest. It didn’t take much to get him to lie back again.

“You’re not going anywhere for at least two days according to your doctor. And all I’m going to do is find out where he is and contact the authorities. Not Tate, but someone who isn’t ensnared in Ben’s web of deceit. I have your beeper number. I’ll let you know where I am.”

With that, she left. She heard him call her back, but she ignored it. If she’d thought for a second he was calling her to say he would try to accept her love, she’d run back. All he wanted to do was change her mind about finding Ben on her own. Silas was right; Ben would kill her. But he had to catch her first.

She nearly collided with a nurse. “Oh, sorry about that!” the nurse said. Nodding toward Silas’s curtained booth where he was still calling for her, she asked, “Are you with Mr. Koole?”

“In more ways than I’d like. Why?”

She lifted her eyebrows in question but thankfully didn’t ask what she’d meant. “I have his things, wallet and the like, that we found in his pockets. Would you like to keep them for him?”

She took the plastic bag. “I’ll keep them safe.” She removed the beeper from the bag. “Please see that he gets this.”

She’d briefly seen Gary earlier, though he was pretty groggy. He was sleeping now, so she left him a note about getting in touch later. She’d have to sort out how she felt about that whole situation later.

About Silas too, she thought, as she glanced up at the hospital on her way out. First, she was going to find the man who’d stolen her life, and a lot of other lives, too.

Katie didn’t get far as she neared Flatlands. The authorities had set up roadblocks and were sending people back.

The officer leaned toward her open window as she pulled up to the barricades. “Ma’am, if you’re going to Macon, you’ll have to turn back to Gray, go southeast on Eleven and take Forty-nine down.”

She had planned to return to the house to get her suitcase, but the mention of Macon shivered down her spine. Why?

“Ma’am, you all right?”

She blinked. “Yes, I’m fine. Macon. Thank you.”

She turned around and headed back toward Gray. Had Ben mentioned Macon recently? The town was stuck in her subconscious like a well-aimed dart. Macon. She paged back through the last few days of her memory, of the times when she hadn’t known the terrible truth about her husband. She didn’t have to go that far—only as far as that morning. Mrs. Turner had spoken about her brother in Macon, the veterinarian who was dying of cancer.

Wouldn’t Ben need a new identity? He couldn’t chance using his current name and qualifications in case Katie did convince someone of the truth. She tried to remember what Mrs. Turner’s brother’s name was. It was Scottish…and started with a B. She had plenty of time to remember before she’d reach Macon.

It was dark by the time Katie reached Macon, and even darker by the time she found a hotel with a vacancy. She’d had to get on the Interstate and go up four exits before finding a hotel that wasn’t booked for Macon’s annual festival. She was almost positive she was going to cry if this clerk said they were booked for the night.

She nearly cried anyway when he said they had two rooms left. She obviously looked like hell from the expression on his face. 

“Lot of people coming over from your way
‘
cause of the fires,” the young man said. “Hope they get it under control soon. Hope those storms brewing over the area let some of that rain loose. They’ve already lost six thousand acres and fourteen homes. Must be tough going.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” she said in a smoke-ravaged voice, signing the credit card receipt. She was glad the clerk hadn’t noticed that she looked nothing like a Silas Koole, the name on the credit card.

One look in her room’s mirror validated the clerk’s impression of her. Forget the frazzled hair, bloodshot eyes and smoky smell that permeated her—she also wore some of Silas’s blood on her modified shirt.

The thought of that blood, and of him, made her drop down on the side of the bed.
Don
’
t think about him now. Stay focused. 

She had her purse, but hadn’t thought to get her small suitcase when she’d helped Gary out to the car. The thought of her house burning didn’t bother her in the least, other than what would happen to her squirrel and bird friends. The thought of losing those few pictures of her mother broke her heart.

She stretched across the bed and pulled out the phone book from the nightstand drawer. The name hadn’t come to her during the drive, but she was sure it would ring a bell in the phone book. Her finger traveled down the list of veterinarians, and didn’t have far to go when it stopped on Dr. Ken Buchanan.