Unforgiven (16 page)

Love, Cam

“Love,” Lilith said, tracing the letters with a finger. “Cam.”

She couldn't remember a single time anyone had used that word with her. Her family didn't talk like that, and she'd certainly never gotten anywhere near close enough to a boy for him to say it. Had Cam dashed the word out casually, like he did so many things? She shifted uncomfortably in the desk and could barely look at the word on the page.

She wanted to ask him what the deal was with this note, this desk—but it wasn't the note or the desk, it was the word. It did something to her, stirred something deep in her soul. It made her sweat. She wanted to confront Cam, but she didn't know where he lived. Instead, she took out her black notebook and let it come out as a song.

That word. What could it mean?

Eight Days

H
igh above Lilith, Cam spread his wings and watched her read the note he'd left on the antique desk. He'd stolen it from Chloe King, of all people—from the attic of her family's house in the fancy part of Crossroads. He would have gone to Versailles to bring Lilith back a present, he would have gone anywhere—but right now he was stuck in her Hell, so this would have to do.

He studied the way she ran her fingers over the paper several times. He watched her smell the irises—her old favorite, he knew—then take her notebook out of her backpack. When she started writing a new song, Cam smiled. This had been his vision when he'd brought the desk there for her.

It was nice just to watch Lilith at peace for a little while. Since Cam had arrived in Crossroads, it seemed like all he ever did was try to smooth over Lucifer's interventions, each one geared to make Lilith despise Cam a little more. He shouldn't complain—after all, Lilith had suffered far more and for far longer than Cam—but it was hard to get close to Lilith when she so rarely showed him anything but rage.

He looked down from the clouds and knew that even if he showered Lilith with presents and love notes every hour, every day, it wouldn't be enough. Once in a while Cam broke through to her—that day, band practice had been pretty good—and he relished those moments. But he knew they wouldn't last, that tomorrow Lucifer would find a way to undo Cam's progress and the cycle would continue until Lilith's Hell expired.

He'd torn up his first draft of the note, which asked her to go to prom with him. Lilith backed away swiftly whenever Cam came on too strong. He would save that question, plan something special, and ask her in person. He mouthed the memorized words of the note he had left on the desk. He hoped the word
love
hadn't scared her.

He thought about Daniel and Lucinda. They had embodied
love
for so long, as far as the fallen angels were concerned. He wished they were beside him now, playing the role of the happy couple offering sage advice to their suffering friend.

Fight for her,
they would tell him.
Even when it seems like all is lost, do not give up the fight for love.

How had Luce and Daniel done it for so long? It took a strength Cam wasn't sure he had. The pain when she refused him—and, so far, almost all she did was refuse him—was staggering. And yet he went for it again and again and again. Why?

To save her. To help her. Because he loved her. Because if he gave up…

He could not give up.

When dawn beckoned, Cam shot down to Trumbull's campus. Wings unfurled, he alit on a dead carob tree and caught the sun rising over a hulking new structure in the center of the football field. He shook the falling ash from his hair and perched at the end of a long, sturdy branch to get a better view.

The half-constructed amphitheater had been modeled after the Roman Colosseum. It was only a couple of stories tall, but it had the same architectural features: three tiers of stylized arches encircling a space as big as the cafeteria. Cam understood instantly what Lucifer had in mind.

“Like it?” Lucifer asked, appearing as Luc on the branch behind Cam. He wore sunglasses to battle the glare, and not being able to see the devil's eyes made Cam nervous.

“This is for prom?” Cam asked.

“King Media thought the students deserved a grander venue for their gladiatorial battle,” Lucifer said. “It's all made of ash, but it
looks
impressive, right? No mortal architect could have done this. It's a shame. That Gehry guy showed promise.”

“Do you want an award?” Cam asked.

“I wouldn't turn one down,” Lucifer said. “And it wouldn't kill you to acknowledge my other work from time to time.” The devil pulled a small square mirror from his jeans' pocket and flashed it before Cam.

Cam pushed the mirror away. He didn't have to look at his reflection to know what he would find. By now he could feel the effects of whatever curse the devil had cast upon his body. He was haggard, puffy, pathetic to look at. Girls at Trumbull who'd stopped mid-conversation just to watch him walk down the hall on his first day here now only noticed Cam when he was standing in their way. He wasn't used to this. His good looks had always been a part of the package, just like with all the angels. Not anymore.

It nagged at him, though he tried not to let it. He would have to meet this challenge and prove, once and for all, that he was more than just a beautiful face.

“Pretty boy is becoming an ugly boy.” Lucifer bellowed a laugh layered with darkness. “I've often wondered whether you had any depth. Without those muscles, what will the ladies see in you?”

Cam touched the place where he was accustomed to finding his taut, firm abdomen. It had gone soft and flabby. He knew his hair was thinning, too, his face filling out, his cheeks growing jowly. He'd never thought of himself as particularly shallow; his confidence had always come from somewhere deep within. But would he be able to attract Lilith now that he looked like this?

“Lilith didn't fall in love with me in Canaan because of the way I looked,” Cam told the devil. “You can make me as hideous as you want. It won't stop her from falling for me again.” He was deeply worried that this wasn't true, but he'd never give Lucifer the satisfaction of knowing he was throwing Cam off his game.

“Sure about that?” The devil's angry laugh shot a chill up Cam's spine. “You've got eight days to open her heart, and none of your old tender glances will change her mind now. But if this gentle makeover isn't enough of an obstacle, you'll be pleased to know this isn't the only trick I've got up my sleeve.”

“Of course not,” Cam muttered. “That would be too easy.”

“Exactly.” Lucifer's eyes narrowed. “Ah, there she is.”

The devil pointed through the trees, to where Lilith was stepping off her school bus, with a girl Cam didn't know.

Lilith was dressed all in black except for a colorful scarf around her neck. Her long hair was pulled back in a braid today instead of hiding her face. She looked happier than she had the first time Cam saw her in Crossroads. There was even a bounce in her step as she carried her guitar.

Cam smiled at first, but then a dark thought entered his mind. What if she became so happy here she lost her sense of rebellion, her desire to flee Crossroads?

What if she started to actually
like
it here?

He leaped from the tree, drawing his wings back in and untucking his T-shirt to hide his gut. He could feel the students' eyes on him as he jogged across the parking lot.

“Lilith—”

But before Lilith heard him, a red Escalade lurched forward and Chloe King climbed out from the backseat, an expensive-looking patent-leather backpack slung over her shoulder. Her bandmates slid out behind her, each sporting a similar bag and a similar expression.

“Hey, Lilith,” Chloe said.

As Cam closed in on them, he got a whiff of Chloe's perfume, which smelled like birthday cake and was accentuated by the air, which smelled like lit candles.

“Chloe,” Lilith said cautiously.

“I was wondering if you'd be my guitar tech at prom,” Chloe said. “As prom queen, I—”

“Um, Chloe…” June cleared her throat. “You haven't been named prom queen yet.”

“Fine.” Chloe clenched her jaw. “As a
member of the prom court,
I will have a lot of other responsibilities that night, and I need someone to tune my band's guitars.”

“No, Lilith will not—” Cam started.

“What are you doing here?” Lilith spun around, noticing Cam.

Cam started to speak, but Chloe cut him off. “Lilith already confided in me that she wasn't going to prom. I assume it's because no guy wants to go with her, and she's afraid she'll look pathetic if she shows up without a date. I'm doing her a favor. She still gets to have the prom experience, but she doesn't have to look like such a loser.”

Cam felt his body tense. He wanted to wreck this girl, but he held himself back for Lilith's sake and watched her face for the burst of fury Chloe's words should have incited. He waited. They all did.

“This is boring,” June said, checking her phone.

Lilith looked at her feet for several seconds. When she looked back up at Chloe, her expression was clear and calm.

“I can't,” Lilith said.

Chloe frowned. “You can't, or you won't?”

“I signed up for the battle,” Lilith said. “My band is called Revenge.”

Chloe's head shot to the left, where her friend Teresa stood. “Did you know about this?”

Teresa's shoulder twitched in a shrug. “They're not competition. Relax.”

“Don't tell me to relax,” Chloe barked. “It's your job to keep me updated on all prom developments.” She blinked rapidly, turning back to Lilith. “Well, whatever, you can still play in your own ‘band.' This would just be for extra cash.” She smiled, stretching her arm around Lilith's shoulder. “What do you say?”

“What's it pay?” Lilith asked, and Cam suddenly understood why Lilith was even entertaining Chloe's request. Her family needed all the extra money they could get, for Bruce.

Chloe thought a moment. “A hundred bucks.”

“And what would I have to do?” Lilith asked.

“Just come to our practices and make sure my guitar's in tune and the strings are fresh,” Chloe said. “I have Bar Method today, but we have practice at my house tomorrow after school.”

You're better than this,
Cam wanted to say.
You're too talented to be Chloe's roadie.

“I'll pass,” Lilith said.

“You're saying
no
?” Chloe asked.

“You're my competition,” Lilith said. “I need to focus on my music so we can beat you guys at the battle.”

Chloe narrowed her eyes. “I'm going to squash every single one of your precious little dreams.” She glanced over her left shoulder, then her right. “Girls? Let's go.”