Unforsaken (17 page)

"I daresay there are few successful businessmen in the state of Georgia who could withstand such scrutiny.” Olivia felt her patience slipping, and she paused long enough to collect her thoughts and remind herself that Judge Stone was her only possible ally. She couldn't afford to alienate him. “I just don't see why I'm to be held to a higher standard."

"Business dealings are not something in which women were ever meant to participate.” He shook his head, as if unable to even imagine the possibility. “There simply is no standard for women, but surely it shouldn't be the same as that for a man."

Olivia didn't see why not, but she refrained from sharing such a radical thought. “So you're telling me that it doesn't matter what I've done, but what people think I've done."

"It isn't fair, my dear, I know that, but the damage may already have been done."

"But if you know it isn't true ... Rodger's motivations are clearly in his own interest."

"Rodger is certainly not the man your father would have chosen. He intended to see you marry well, but, like most of us, he thought he had all the time in the world.” Judge Stone heaved a sigh and shook his head. “I'm afraid that, without a husband, there is nothing to prevent Rodger from—"

"Just because I'm a woman?"

Husband.

"He can just take charge of my life?"

Husband.

Judge Stone had the decency to look chagrined, but he assured her, “Even I would be hard pressed to refuse such a petition, and another judge wouldn't think twice."

"Well, it seems I've nothing to worry about.” She rose from her chair and let the old goat clasp her hand. “You see, Judge, I'm getting married."

"You are?"

Under different circumstances, Olivia would have been insulted by the shocked expression on his face, but she managed to smile. “Yes. I just haven't had the chance to tell anyone."

"How wonderful,” the judge assured her. “I presume I will have the honor of performing the ceremony."

"I think that would be just wonderful."

Chapter Fourteen

Courage had never come easy for Olivia, but she now needed every ounce she could muster. Twice, Matthew had insinuated a proposal but never spoken of his feelings for her. She couldn't wait for love any longer.

She knew she wouldn't find him in the house, even though it was late afternoon, but she hoped to find him near the house. This time she would have to wait if she didn't.

She found him inside the barn, brushing one of the horses and talking with George Carter. Evidently, Mr. Carter was interested in buying the horse, and there was some good-natured debate over the animal's worth. Neither man noticed her coming into the barn, and she debated waiting outside until they were finished bargaining.

"Hello,” she said in a pained whisper. If she waited, she would leave, and she spoke again, this time managing more than a whisper. “Hello, gentlemen."

They turned at the sound of her voice, and Matt was obviously pleased to see her. “Olivia, this is a surprise."

"I need to talk with you."

"Of course.” He tossed the curry comb aside and crossed the distance between them. “What is it?"

She glanced back at Mr. Carter, who was listening as expectantly as Matt. All her carefully chosen words escaped her, and she could only look away, wishing she hadn't done this.

"I need to talk to you,” she repeated. Lowering her voice, she added, “Alone."

Matt glanced over at Carter, but before he could say a word, Mr. Carter grinned slightly and said, “I need to be getting back to the house, anyway. I'll see you tomorrow, Matt."

The two men shook hands and Carter doffed his hat toward Olivia before taking his leave. Matt waited. “Well, what is it, Olivia?"

She hesitated, feeling suffocated by the warmth and the scent of the animals. A cow balled just behind her, and she almost changed her mind. She might have given up on love, but she wasn't going to accept a proposal standing in a barn.

He followed Olivia outside and gazed down at her expectantly.

"Isn't there somewhere we could talk in private? The house, perhaps?"

"Mrs. Carter and her girls are cleaning house for me today."

Olivia felt her insides clench in panic. If she was going to do this, she had better do it now. Today. Before Matt fell under the influence of all that housekeeping and good cooking.

"Oh, well, I suppose here is fine—"

"I know a place,” he said reaching for her hand. “Come on."

He led her down the hill just past the barn. The trees grew closer, and soon they were surrounded by massive oaks, shaded by the billowing canopy of green leaves. Sunlight crept in where it could, dappling the mossy earth with golden specks of light. She hesitated as the path narrowed and the brush tugged at her long skirts, but he held tight to her hand and she made herself follow.

She heard the water before they reached the stream, but the sight was still a surprise. The water looked cool and inviting and made the afternoon seem even warmer.

"When I was boy, I'd sneak down here every chance I could get.” He neared the bank and gazed at the water rushing over the rocks, smooth and shiny from years of wear. “Mostly to fish, but sometimes I'd take a swim. Pa caught me swimming alone once and wore me out. Said if he wanted me drowned, he do it himself."

"How awful."

"Not really. I never went swimming by myself after that.” He grinned at her. “Ryan loved this place."

"I always envied his visits with your family,” she admitted. “He'd stay with your family for days at a time. I suppose you swim whenever you wish now."

He grazed the back of his hand along her cheek. “Don't have anyone to go with me."

"I can't swim,” she countered.

"We could go wading.” His fingers lingered against her throat. “Just get our feet wet."

She shook her head and wanted to laugh at the suggestion. He ignored her and went about removing his boots and socks. She settled herself on the stump of what must have been a very old tree. It was wide enough that she didn't have to scoot over for him to sit beside her.

With a wicked grin, he reached for her feet before she realized his intent. “Come on, Livvy. It'll be fun."

He caught the back of her calf in one hand and slipped her shoes from her feet. When his fingers found the band of her stocking she tried to stand up, but he held tight and stripped the garment down and off. He ran his hand over her ankle and barely tickled the bottom of her foot.

"Come on in,” he coaxed, even as she tried to pull away. “I dare you."

"In this dress?” she scoffed.

"Not necessarily."

"That's not funny."

His hand disappeared under her skirt, sliding up her calf and settling over her knee while his free hand traced the line of her face. “I'm not laughing."

His mouth covered hers, and the kiss was slow and patient. Only when her arms slid around his neck did he draw her into his embrace, and the kiss grew passionate but no less tender. His lips left hers and sought out the sensitive places along the curve of her jaw and the hollow of her throat.

She gazed up into the trees, feeling the same dizziness as she had that day on the swing in his yard. She wanted this, she really did, but she wondered if a loveless marriage wouldn't be better than a one-sided love. Could she live the rest of her life hoping every day would be the day he decided he loved her?

Hadn't she been living that way for the last three years?

"Why did you ask me to marry you?"

The question caught him off guard, and he stared at her, as if trying to discern her true reason for such a question. “What do you mean, why? I asked you because I want to marry you."

"Why? Why do you want to marry me?"

He reached out and grazed her cheek with his fingertips, the light touch making her shudder. “Because I need you."

She needed him, too, but she wanted him to love her. She reached up and caught his hand, holding it against her face. If he loved her, the truth wouldn't matter, but she didn't dare risk him refusing her.

"Then the offer is still good?"

Still cradling her cheek in one hand, his free arm circled her waist and pulled her to him. His lips touched hers, and she sank against him, unable to disguise the aching for his touch, and her arms slid around his neck and his own embrace tightened.

"Livvy,” he groaned, trailing biting kisses down her throat. “Livvy, please don't do this if you're not sure you want me."

He drew back, and searched her face with a look so intense it made her tremble. “Yes,” she whispered, wanting to tell just how much she needed him, how much she loved him. Instead, she told him what he wanted to hear. “Yes, I do want you."

He smiled slightly, but the look in his eyes grew more intense. Her answer pleased him, but he wanted more. He kissed her again, holding her close, and his hands explored the contours of her back, her waist, and cupped the curve of her hip, pressing her against the hard ridge of his arousal.

Olivia's heart began to race with the realization that he wanted more than words to seal their commitment. She steeled herself, knowing he was entitled to such expectations, and she was determined not to allow faded girlish delusions to stand in the way of what was expected of a woman. She raised her lips to his and kissed him, welcoming the warmth that spread through her entire body as he deepened the kiss.

Gradually her misgivings and reluctance melted away, and she was lost in the sweet passion assailing her from within and without. The heat of his body burned through her clothes and made her skin tingle in anticipation of his touch. He cupped her breast in the palm of his hand, and she gasped at the feel of his thumb grazing the sensitive peak.

Without warning, he lifted her into his arms and made his way into the shadow of an ancient oak tree. Easing her down on the soft bed of moss, he knelt beside her and worked the few remaining buttons of his shirt loose and tossed the garment aside. The sight of his naked chest made her insides quake, and she raised a hand to trace the broad line of his shoulder.

Settling beside her, Matt caught her hand in his and pressed his lips into her palm before taking her in his arms for a kiss that left her breathless. His fingers sought and found the tiny buttons of her bodice and made quick work of them.

He lowered his head and barely touched his tongue to the hard nub of her nipple, straining against the thin material of her chemise. She bit her lip to keep from crying out and held him close, her fingers twined in his hair. He deftly loosened the ribbon and parted the thin lace, his warm breath fanning over her bare breasts. The feel of his tongue against her flesh undid her resolve, and she gasped in pleasure so intense that it bordered on pain.

His fingers found the open seam of her drawers and she arched beneath his tender touch. He coaxed her body open to his gentle exploration, finding the very core of her being, and she tried to pull away. He kissed her, gently at first, until she stilled beneath him and he resumed the exquisite torment. His lips traveled the length of her throat, grazed the ridge of her collarbone and then caught the aching peak of her breast, grazing it between his teeth.

It was too much. The feel of his tongue against her flesh, the heat growing between her thighs. Olivia clutched frantically at his bare shoulders, as if she were falling in a dream and desperately sought to awaken before hitting the earth below. She tensed and felt her mind and body shatter without ever touching the ground, drifting slowly as bits of flotsam onto a still pond.

Her head fell back against the soft bed of moss, and she fought to slow her breathing, but her heart raced madly. Her eyes drifted open to find him watching her with eyes so smoldering with desire that she shivered to think what more she had yet to experience.

"Oh, Livvy,” he groaned, brushing damp strands of hair away from her forehead. He kissed her, searching out the ties securing her undergarments, and swept aside the last of her clothes. He stroked the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh and gently eased her legs apart

She had hardly forgotten the way his body felt against hers or the sharp pain of having him inside her, but the first contact of his heated flesh against her own banished any fear.

Raking her nails across his shoulders, slick with sweat, she raised her hips, seeking more of the glorious sensation. He groaned deep in his throat and caught her hips in his hands, holding them still, and drove deep inside her.

She stiffened slightly as her body adjusted to his length, and she saw the strain on his face as he fought for control. She raised trembling fingers to his cheek and assured him, “I want you, Matt. Please don't stop."

She had unknowingly given him the words he needed, because his control snapped and his hips rocked against hers. He slid one hand to her thigh and eased it up and over his hip, guiding her into his rhythm, and she gasped as her body quickly braced for another surge of intense pleasure.

The muscles in his arms bunched beneath her fingers and she could do little more than hang on as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her.

His own movements quickened to a frenzied pace and he grasped her hips and buried himself to the hilt, his body shuddering with release. He collapsed, bracing his weight on his forearms, and his forehead fell to rest on hers. “Oh, God, Livvy."

"Did I—” She swallowed. “Were you pleased with me?"

"Oh, yes.” He chuckled, easing off her and rolling onto his back. “It scares me to think it can get any better."

She sat up, not certain if he was teasing her. “It can?"

He laughed again, but she liked the idea.

For an hour, at least, Matt had dozed on and off, but it was too damn hot to sleep soundly. He glanced over at Olivia and admitted part of the reason he couldn't sleep was his body's aching awareness of her presence. He longed to pull her into his arms, but just holding her wouldn't be enough

He couldn't dismiss the nagging doubts about making love to her, but the feel of her warm and willing in his arms had banished all logical thought. He'd ruined things once before by letting lust get the better of him; he could only hope she wouldn't awaken embarrassed and remorseful over what had happened.