Unintentional (16 page)

I raise my hands in defeat. I hate admitting it, but it’s true. When I looked at her, sitting next to me with her pink cheeks, lavender scent mixed with an earthy sweat, I pretty much lost my mind. What’s disappointing is the obvious look of sheer panic she hasn’t tried to hide. She doesn’t want to be with me, and that stings.

“Is that so bad, Laurel?” I ask, but I’m afraid of her answer.

“Yes! It’s the worst. We have to work together. I thought I could get this out of my system with a few kisses. But it seems to be getting so much worse. I think we’re going to need to work remotely for a while, until this passes.”

“Laurel, it’s been a year, and this hasn’t passed. Whatever it is between us seems to be getting stronger. I want—no I take it back—I need to see where this goes.” I lean toward her and she jumps up quickly.

“That wasn’t the deal! You promised. I have rules!” She turns away from me and runs off.

Whatever I was feeling toward Laurel a minute ago has turned
to frustration. Really? This is how she plans to deal with this? I’m not going to chase after her. I can’t help it. All I feel is rejection, again. I don’t need to be told no over and over. I get it.

When I think about it, I realize she’s not even my type, not really. She’s as good-looking as they come, but she’s also fiendishly determined and rebellious. She tough, and if I’m honest, she’s also soft. When I look into her eyes, I see beauty, but I also see a guarded expression. An expression that says stay out, or you’ll get hurt. She doesn’t want a relationship. Any relationship.

With Mattie, my attraction started right away. It slowly built into a friendship, which progressed into love. Nice and slow.

With Laurel, it’s electric, like sizzling wires on a high-voltage fence. Beware. Danger. I could handle a girl like Mattie. I knew exactly who she was. She’s sweet, kind, happy, predictable, and very domestic. Laurel, with her determination and feistiness, is strong, vulnerable, funny, and stubborn. She doesn’t know what she wants yet, which makes her unpredictable. I don’t feel safe with Laurel. She makes my emotions ping around like those little white balls in a lottery machine. If I get sucked in and let her get under my skin, I don’t think
I could handle it if she tossed me aside. I wonder if this is how Mattie
felt about Jeremy. I feel consumed, almost as if I don’t have any control at all. I don’t like this feeling of vulnerability. I don’t like that she has this type of power over me. I’ve never felt this connected with a person. What have I got myself into?

Laurel

Am I really running away like a scared little girl? I look down at my rubbery legs. I’m not going very fast, but yes, I’m running like the coward I am. I slow down to catch my breath, but I keep walking though. I want to put as much distance between Cade and me so I’m able to think.

I’m sure I don’t have to worry about Cade following me. I saw his face before I bolted. Was it disgust, disappointment, or frustration? If I were to guess, I’d say a mixture of all three. I’m sending him mixed signals, I know that. I’ve never been so conflicted in my life.

What is he doing to me? It’s like I’ve lost all sense of reality. No one has ever elicited such an overpowering reaction from me. Why didn’t I stay with Douglas? He was safe, predictable. He was vanilla-flavored ice cream compared to Cade’s Everything-Except-for-the-
Kitchen-Sink from Ben and Jerry’s. Whenever I’m with him, my senses are heightened, plus my body and emotions are on high alert. Unfortunately, my mind seems to click off.

My behavior on the bench was inexcusable. I’ve never throw myself at a man like that before. I can feel my body warm again. What did I do? In all fairness, Cade was definitely pouring on the seduction. It worked. Between his gorgeous blue eyes, light brown, slightly sweaty, tousled hair, broad shoulders, dimples, and tattoos, I didn’t have a chance. Who could?

What was Mattie thinking when she passed him up? Jeremy must be a Greek god or something.

I start to feel bad for my reaction to Cade. It’s been over a year and a half since Mattie, and he hasn’t really dated anyone seriously that I know about. I would guess he thinks I’m rejecting him, which I am, sort of. I just can’t be with him. Whatever this is between us is too powerful. I know most girls would jump at the chance, to be with someone like Cade. It’s not that I’m just scared – I’m terrified. I had to witness heartache and disappointment from birth until my father died. If I ever do get married, it will need to be with someone who doesn’t
create such a strong storm of emotion. Safety and security is what I need.

∗∗∗

Behind the overgrown shrub is the ideal place to watch Cade and Laurel. I’m disgusted by their public display. It looks like they can’t keep their hands off each other. I thought Laurel was so reserved. What happened to the professional, good girl? Well, I hope they enjoy what little time they have left together. I’m going to make sure that relationship ends before it can get started. Keeping a close eye on them shouldn’t be too hard. I need to start planning. It can’t happen soon enough.

Chapter 14

Laurel

“You know you’re going to have to apologize, right?” Sophie asks.

“I hate apologizing. It implies I was wrong.” I close my eyes and shiver.

“Well, that makes sense, because you were wrong Laurel. What were you thinking? You did a jump and run. That’s not like you at all.” Sophie’s face reflects how I feel, disappointed.

“That’s what I’ve been telling you, Sophie. I’m not myself when he’s around. He makes me crazy. I knew this was a bad idea.”

“All you have to do is get control of yourself, Laurel. You’re always in control. It shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’ll meet him tomorrow at our usual time. I’ll apologize, manage to keep my hands off him, and we can get back to normal.” I think for a minute. “Except, Sophie, we don’t have a normal. We never have.”

“You’re going to have to make a different type of normal, one that you both can live with. Just stay out of storage closets and off park
benches and you’ll be fine.” She has the audacity to giggle, again. This is becoming a habit with her.

“Yeah, you won’t be laughing when we’re out of jobs because of my unprofessional behavior. You know Kelly Ricci will be watching us very closely. She’d love to spread around some juicy gossip.” Sophie looks serious, finally.

“Okay, I get it. What do I need to do to help?”

“Come with me on our runs. We only have three more days in Seattle until we have to head back to do the legwork for the tour dates. We should have the recording studios booked by then.”

Sophie groans and throws herself on the bed. “Ugh! I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.” She thrashes back and forth on the bed, trying to come to terms with her new duty. “Okay, I’ll be your babysitter.”

“Great. I’ll have a short talk with him before our run. Then you don’t leave my side until we’re back at the hotel, deal?”

“Yes, you have yourself a deal. But Laurel?”

“Uh huh?”

“If you start to kiss him again, I’m looking the other way.”

“Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.”

I start to think about Douglas and his calm, predictable
personality. “Sometimes I wish I had just stayed in the relationship with Douglas. He was ideal for me in so many ways.” I let out a deep sigh.

“Laurel, I’ve told you a thousand times, a man like Douglas will never make you truly happy. You might think you’re happy, but I know you’d be bored and miserable. You’re a free spirit. You need someone who will travel the world with you, go on adventures, someone who will keep you on your toes.”

“Why do you think Douglas wouldn’t do any of those things?” I ask.

“He was a yes man. Everything you wanted, he’d go along with it. Weren’t you tired of that at all? I don’t think you got into one argument. Wait, he did argue about breaking up, didn’t he?”

“Yes, that was weird. He kept talking about not wanting us to break up, how good we were together. He even said he was going to fight for me, win me back – and then nothing. Not a word. He must have changed his mind. I believe I made the right decision, but I think about him every once in a while. Things were so simple. You know what I mean?” I pause, and another sigh escapes. “With Cade, I can’t figure out how I feel – mostly overwhelmed, I think. With Douglas, I
felt content. Is that so bad?” I’m so tired with the tug of war Cade is playing with my heart. It’s not his fault, but nevertheless, it’s an internal battle that’s draining my every rational thought.

“I’m sticking with the fun, exciting life for you, Laurel. Once you get past the fear, someone like Cade would be the ideal match for you. Maybe it won’t be Cade, but you need to have someone in your life who won’t let you be ‘content’. You need someone who will challenge you, who will take you out of your comfort zone. You always tell me I won’t end up like my mom. Well, I’m telling you that you don’t have to have a relationship like your parents. You are so fearless about every other part of your life. Please don’t settle for Douglas or anyone like him.” Sophie’s eyes are intense, focused.

She’s going to pester me about this relentlessly. I’ve to get her to back off.

“Sophie, I know you want the best for me, but please, don’t push me toward Cade. You’ll have to believe me when I tell you I’m not ready for someone like him. Maybe in the future, but not now. I really want to focus on getting the band ready for their big promotion. I can’t deal with that and a possible relationship. Okay?” My eyes plead with hers.

She relents. “Okay. You know I love you, right?”

“Yes.” I know this for a fact. “I love you, too.”

“So I’m going to try again, to talk you into a better choice for yourself, but I’ll give you time. I can see my pushing is only stressing you out and I don’t want that. Can you please think about what I said?”

“Yes, I will. Now, let’s plan our strategy for Hard Reign. I’m really excited about this. They’re going to be huge.”

We spend the rest of our evening getting wrapped up in the details of marketing the band. Once they get their demo made and we shop them to the labels, it will be a bidding war. I want it to happen right now, but I know these things take time.

Cade

I’m sure she isn’t going to show up. I’m at the wading pool on the off chance Laurel makes our scheduled appointment. She ran off yesterday like a bat out of hell, so I’m doubtful she’ll make an appearance. On the other hand, I believe she’s someone with a high level of professionalism, and she did make an agreement, so I stand
here, conflicted. One minute, I’m sure I’ll be standing alone, the next, I’m looking around for her arrival.

If I were a betting man, I would have just lost, because around the bend comes Laurel and her assistant Sophie. A smile forms on my lips as they approach me.

“So, you’ve brought a bodyguard?” I ask.

Laurel tries to contain her smile. “Sophie really wanted to run today. I couldn’t say no.”

I look at Sophie’s body language. She’s slouched already. It looks like she needs a gallon of coffee. I wonder what bribery Laurel had to offer to get her to come today.

“Can we talk for a minute, before our run?” Laurel looks a little anxious.

“Sure.” I think I know what she wants. I stand, waiting for her to begin.

She looks hesitantly over at Sophie. With a motion of her head, she starts walking a few feet away, out of hearing distance from Sophie. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about yesterday. That was very juvenile of me. I know I’m sending you mixed signals, and if it makes you feel any better, I’m driving myself crazy, as well.”

As I look into her conflicted and vulnerable face, I realize what I like so much about her. She’s honest. What you see is what you get. She’s scared, yes, but she doesn’t play games. She wasn’t playing with me yesterday. She was sincerely following her feelings – as mixed up and confused as they were. I can sympathize, because my feelings have been all over the place, as well. I keep wondering, if we were to get on the same track, what would it be like to be with her – really with her? Explosive, but in a good way. We both keep pulling back, just as things start to get interesting.

I find myself standing, just staring into her eyes. Those gorgeous exotic eyes that keep pulling me in. She’s told me she feels like she’s driving me crazy, and she is. But, frustrating as it is, I’m actually enjoying it. I don’t want it to end. I step closer. She takes a step back, wary. I step closer again, and this time, she doesn’t move.

“It’s okay, you know. I’m driving myself nuts also.”

Her eyes are wide, understanding. I take some hair that’s come free from her ponytail and tuck it gently behind her ear. It’s happening again, I feel the irresistible tug to place my lips on hers. I need to kiss her, now.

“I need to kiss you again. I’ll make it quick this time.”

She closes her eyes, pauses, but then her beautiful light brown eyes reopen and they search mine. “No?”

“Is that a question or an answer?”

She takes a hesitant step toward me. “This will be the last time. I know we’ve agree to a ‘last time’ before. But after today, no more, okay?”

“Okay.” At this point, I’d agree to give up just about anything.

If this will be our last kiss, I can’t make it quick. I need slow. I place my hands on both of her arms and gently squeeze. Laurel relaxes in my grip. She’s surrendering, for now. She’s only a few inches shorter, so even standing, our bodies fit flush together, touching in all the right spots. I take a quick look to see what Sophie is doing, and she seems to be studiously examining a bush. I chuckle to myself as I turn my focus back to Laurel. Sophie has turned out to be a horrible bodyguard.

Every time I kiss Laurel, it’s different. There’s always passion, too much passion. That’s part of the problem. It’s overwhelming, to say the least. This time I want it to be calmer, more controlled. I think Laurel will like that.

I place my lips on her full, soft mouth. She immediately moves
closer still. Her hands wrap around my back. I keep the kiss slow and careful, making sure not to take it too far too fast. Laurel seems to appreciate this new approach, but I think she wants more already. Her fingers move from my back up to my hair. She’s tentatively threading her fingers through what seems to be every strand. Feeling it, savoring it. My head starts to tingle, and I return the favor. My hands move up her back, and my fingers tangle in her ponytail. This needs to come off. I grasp the holder and give a good yank. Startled, we both stop for a moment.