Uninvolved (41 page)

"I'm kind of seeing someone back in Phoenix."

Chad pulled back, surprised.
When they were in high school
,
it had been Chad she turned to after her first boyfriend broke her heart. He had wanted to date her back then
,
but she was full
-
blown in her trust issues. Instead
,
they ended up being great friends with some side benefits. She had never turned him down before.

"He
must be one
lucky guy
,
Becka
,
" he said
,
kissing her on the cheek. "Wait
.
I
t's not Dave
,
is it?"

"No! Gross
.
Seriously, we are just friends."

"Just checking."

Becka stiffened slightly when she saw Aaron walking towards them. Chad noticed and casually draped his arm around her shoulder.

"Hi
,
Becka, Chad
,
" Aaron said
,
looking at Chad's arm.

"Hey
,
man
.
" Chad grinned at him.

Becka almost started laughing
.
If
she had not been as into
Nate
as she was
,
Becka would have loved to kiss Chad right then. Aaron spoke with them for a couple of minutes before excusing himself and going to hang out with some other people by the bar. Becka relaxed after that.
Aaron
Tower
had been her very first serious boyfriend.
She had been naïve
,
but they were so young when they first started
dating
that
so was
he.

At some point
,
that changed
,
though
,
and Aaron took advantage of the faith Becka had in him to first cheat on her and then dump her. It had happened not long after their mutual first time. Being so young and dealing with such intense feelings had almost been too much for her at the time. Wanting to get away from Aaron was what prompted Becka to move to Arizona in the first place. Dave's family had moved there when they were in middle school
,
and they had stayed tight.

It had been Dave who suggested she apply to colleges in Arizona. Once she was accepted
,
the rest was history. Since Dave and his family were old friends of the family
,
her parents didn’t argue at them sharing an apartment their freshman year. They had been roommates ever since. Seeing Aaron reminded her of how powerless he had made her feel. The distance she had imposed was born out of her fear of ever feeling like that again.

"Hey
,
stranger!"

Becka looked up to see another former classmate and shook off her old memories
,
feeling less sting in them this time around.
All in all
,
she had a fun night reconnecting with o
ld friends.
Ashley was going to pick her up on Thursday so they could go see a movie. Ashley also gave her a ride home that night. Becka's parents were still up when she got home
,
so she hung out with her mom and had a cup of cocoa. It was nice just relaxing in the living room with the lights dimmed and the tree all lit up. Christmas just felt right at home versus Phoenix
where it was just too warm out. Back in Phoenix
,
people decorated cactus plants and palm trees
. It
just didn’t feel right.

On Christmas Eve
,
Becka helped her mom prepare a big dinner f
or the family. Her Aunt Justine,
Uncle Bill
,
and their children were coming over
,
plus Lilly, Chris and Mason. After dinner
,
they would have cake and eggnog and each open one gift. Then Chris was going to hang back with Mason while the rest of them went to Midnigh
t Mass. Becka wasn’t the best Ca
tholic, but her mom was pretty intense about her going to Mass when she was home. The day flew by
.
It
was good to be with family, even though they drove her crazy a few times that day.

It was Christmas morning before Becka knew it. Lilly
,
Chris
,
and Mason had spent the night. Becka heard some movement downstairs but tried her best to sleep in. It made her laugh to think back to the time when she was the first
one
up every Christmas and would race downstairs to check her stocking. Then
,
after having eaten almost all of her chocolate coins
,
she would wake everyone else up. It was much easier to sleep in
on
Christmas when you
got
older
, she thought
.

What finally made Becka get out of bed was the smell of
cinnamon rolls baking in the
oven. Becka pulled on her slippers and headed downstairs.

"See
,
mom
.
I told you the cinnamon rolls would do the trick
,
" Lilly said when Becka entered the room.

"How much longer
‘
til they're
ready?" Becka asked
,
drooling.

"Five more minutes
.
Why
don’t you go eat all your chocolate while you wait."

"Don’t mind if I do
,
" Becka said
,
going to grab her stocking.

Becka was halfway through her chocolate coins when the oven buzzed
,
and she supervised her mother icing them. Her mother made her a plate of two rolls and gave her a mug of cocoa with a kiss. Becka remarked how it was good to be home as she sat at the island to eat. Her father just shook his head at her. Chris had been upstairs changing Mason. Once everyone was in the room
,
they started opening presents.

Mason was the honorary present open
er
helper. It was so cute watching him squeal as he tore through the wrapping paper. Before too long
,
all of the presents had been opened
,
and Becka's mother set down her camera
,
certain she had documented the opening of every gift with the obligatory hold the gift up and smile shot. Lilly was working on freeing a truck from its box for Mason. There seemed to be at least twenty long
,
plastic twist ties anchoring it to the box.

Becka just sat back with her loot and fresh mug of cocoa to watch. This was so much better than just Skyping. Becka chuckled as she watched Chris try and walk her father through working
the Keurig machine
h
e and Lilly had gotten him. Her mother caught her eye and came over to squeeze her knee
and
tell her how happy she was that Becka was home.

It was a good day, even better when she got a
Merry Christmas
,
Becka
text from
Nate
. He warned her that he had stocked up on mistletoe in her absence. Becka replied that he better stock up on chapstick too because she would be back in Phoenix before he knew it.

Normally
,
when Becka was on vacation and it flew by
,
she was annoyed. By Friday
,
she was so bored she was almost willing the time to speed up. It was nothing against her family but
,
with the exception of going out Sunday night and the movie on Thursday
,
she had been with them nonstop. That was a whole lot of family bondin
g considering it had been well over a year
since she last saw them.

As much as Becka loved her mother, she was tap dancing on her last nerve. She always seemed to be hovering
.
I
f Becka started reading something on her e
R
eader
,
her mother would choose that moment to start a conversation and then get annoyed if Becka went back to reading. Lilly was awesome but went back to work on Thursday as did Chris and her dad, leaving her with her mother.

On Saturday
,
Becka was moments away from offering to have phone sex with
Nate
when her mother walked into her room
,
J
ust walked in, no knock or anything. Becka was very cautious about locking the door from that point on. Becka had become accustomed to some level of privacy with Dave
.
Here,
not so much.
What seemed crazy
,
though
,
was on Sunday
when
it was time to leave
,
Becka felt awful about going and wanted to stay.

The only thought that cheered her up was that
Nate
would be waiting for her at the airport
.
That,
and the fact that she didn’t have a layover this time. She had a tearful goodbye with her parents and Mason
.
Only
Mason was crying because Lilly was leaving to take her to the airport, not
because
Becka was leaving. Chris gave her his patented kiss on the cheek
,
and they were off.

Chapter 21

Lilly surprised her by getting weepy in the car once they got to the airport, which had Becka crying as well. Wanting to avoid a long goodbye
,
Becka had Lilly drop her off instead of parking. With wet eyes
,
Becka waved until she could not see her car anymore before going inside to check in. Once she was checked in and through security
,
Becka found the bathroom nearest to her gate to reapply her messed up makeup. With no one else to make her cry
,
she wanted to look decent when she saw
Nate
.

The fact that he was meeting her had Becka so excited. By this point
,
it had been three weeks since she had seen him. Becka didn’t expect that he would look different
,
but she wondered if he would act different. Becka was also nervous to find out what
Nate
's plans with her were. Would they just be dating?
Or
would he want her to be his girlfriend, like
,
officially? Becka was fine with either, even though she would prefer to be his girlfriend.

Once Becka finished reapplying her makeup
,
she went to get a
caramel
Frappuccino
and then waited at her gate. Once Becka got settled
,
she started freaking out about the whole
Nate
situation.
She wondered if it would be weird or maybe he'd change his mind or any other host of random things. Especially sex
.
Was
it just a given that they were going to do it? What if it didn’t feel right? And if it didn’t feel right and Becka said no
,
would
Nate
think she was a tease because of all of the times she had wanted to do it before? What if he wasn’t good in bed?

Becka dismissed that thought almost instantly, but then she wondered if maybe he wouldn’t think she was good in bed. Becka also was nervous about what she was wearing
.
her underwear was cute
,
but it did not live up to the first time with
Nate
scenario she had in her head. Becka had taken an extra long shower that morning to ensure all regions were primetime ready
,
but still
,
she was building this up to anxiety
-
inducing levels.
It was hard not to when she and
Nate
had been over a year in the making, or almost a year if she was counting from last New Year's. For Becka
,
though
,
she had liked him well before that.

Becka was calmer when her flight boarded, ready for whatever may happen. She read until the in
-
flight movie started, thankful it was a d
ifferent one from the last flight
and a movie she had not seen. Her relief was short lived when the movie turned out to be horribly depressing, in which the love interest of the character died horribly. Becka's mind raced to the last time she spoke to
Nate
. What if something had happened to him? What if they were never supposed to end up together because he would die before they had the chance?