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Sean smiled at her. 'That's great news. I'm sure you'll feel you've made the right decision once you've settled back there—especially when you pass those finals next time round, as I'm sure you will.'

That night after dinner she gave her notice to Claire. The older woman looked thoughtful.

'Oh, Katy—this wouldn't have anything to do with Sean, would it?'

Katy was quick—a little too quick—with her denial. 'No—nothing at all. I just feel it isn't fair to you now that Toby is so much better. Jake's book is almost finished and I'm sure you'll want to spend the rest of the time together as a family before you fly off to the States.'

Claire frowned, trying to find a tactful way to ask what she was thinking. 'Forgive me for asking Katy, but is there any hope at all that you and Sean might—well—you know—get together?'

Katy shook her head, smiling ruefully. 'None at all, I'm afraid. He sees me as nothing more than a silly little nurse—at best a working acquaintance.'

Claire pursed her lips. 'I'm sure he feels more for you than that!' She could have sworn that there was more in his eyes when he looked at Katy. 'I know Sean has always been a terrible flirt but—' she broke off, looking at Katy as a sudden idea presented itself. 'How would you like to come to the States with us?'

Katy gasped, sorely tempted, but she shook her head. 'No—thank you all the same. You don't really need me. If I'm going back to nursing the sooner the better. Besides, there's my father's wedding in September. I couldn't miss that.'

'And Sean?' Claire raised an eyebrow.

Katy shrugged. 'I shall just have to try to forget him. Once he's moved away from St Anne's it shouldn't be too hard.' She hoped she sounded more convinced than she felt.

The letter from Isobel came by first post the following morning. In it she announced that she and Katy's father were to be married sooner than they had originally planned—in ten days' time to be exact—and they both wanted Katy to come home for the wedding.

'There seems little point in wasting any more time at our age,' she wrote. 'As you know, it will be a quiet little wedding at the Register Office but it wouldn't feel right without you being there, dear. If your charming doctor friend would care to come too we would be very happy to see him. I enclose a formal invitation for you to pass on to him.'

Katy folded the letter, suppressing an exasperated little sigh. Trust Isobel to make things awkward for her again! She glanced across the breakfast table at Claire who was looking at her enquiringly.

'It's from my future stepmother,' she said. 'The wedding has been brought forward. It's to be in ten days' time.'

'Then of course you must go. Is that your invitation?' Claire nodded towards the card that lay on the table before Katy.

'No—I'm supposed to pass that on to Sean. Isobel took quite a fancy to him. She seems to have got it firmly fixed in her head that he is my boyfriend.' She picked up the card and pushed it into her pocket.

Claire leaned forward. 'You are going to give it to him though, aren't you?'

'I shall simply say that he was too busy.'

'But you can't do that! The invitation is addressed to Sean. He has a right to see it and make up his own mind.'

Katy sighed. 'You must admit it's going to make things awkward, Claire. It's embarrassing for both of us. He won't want to go anyway—he hardly knows them—yet he won't be able to refuse without looking churlish.' She shook her head. 'No— better if he knows nothing about it.'

'You're very wrong,' Claire said firmly. 'If he did have to refuse I know he would want to send a card or even a small gift. Knowing Sean as I do I'm sure he'd be furious to think he hadn't even been given the chance.' She held out her hand. 'Give me the invitation and I'll see that he gets it.'

Katy fingered the card hesitantly. 'I told you, Claire. It would make things so awkward for me. Isobel thinks we're practically engaged!'

Claire shook her head. 'You've no need to worry. It's the week that Sean has his interview. He won't want to go all the way down south, but right's right all the same.' She took the card that Katy handed her. 'I think it would be best if I posted it to him, don't you?'

The last days at Bridge House were sad ones. As she packed, Katy reflected that she had been happier here than anywhere else since her mother died. Toby followed her around, a wistful look on his face.

'I
t's not fair,' he remarked. 'You're only going because my asthma has got better. Would you stay if it came back?'

She ruffled his hair affectionately. 'It isn't going to come back—not ever—and just you remember that, young man.'

He sighed. 'I suppose you're going to take old Arnold away with you too?'

She laughed. 'You know, I think he feels you need him more than I do now. Maybe I'd better let him stay with you.'

Toby stared doubtfully at the bear. 'I expect I
am
really too old for a teddy, aren't I?'

'Think of him as a mascot,' Katy suggested. 'Lots of people have mascots—film stars, footballers, even pilots. Soon you'll be flying the Atlantic, you'll need Arnold then, won't you?'

He nodded eagerly. 'Gosh, that's
right!'
He looked at her thoughtfully, 'It's a pity I can't take Adam and Eve with me too. Would you look after them for me?'

She shook her head. 'I live a long way from here. Toby. And at the moment I don't even have a proper home. Why don't you ask Uncle Sean or Mrs Benson?'

He looked at her for a moment, his lower lip thrust out. 'I wish you were coming with us.'

She smiled. 'It would be nice and I'd really love it, but I have an important exam to pass.'

'Are you going to marry Uncle Sean?' he asked with a sudden candour that took her breath away.

'Whatever gave you that idea?'

He shrugged. 'I think it would be a good idea. Don't you like him then?'

She felt her cheeks growing warm. 'I like lots of people Toby, but it doesn't mean I want to marry them. Besides, I'm going all the way to Kensbridge and Uncle Sean is staying up here in Yorkshire. We shan't be seeing each other again after I leave here.' Even as she said them the words rang in her head like a funeral bell.

But Toby didn't seem to be listening. 'If you got married I could come and visit you at Raikeside Lodge in the school holidays—did you know that when we come home from America I'm going to a new school?'

She heaved a sigh of relief. Thank goodness he seemed to have diverted himself from that embarrassing
train of thought!

Sean insisted on taking her to the station and arrived in plenty of time on Saturday morning. Claire, Jake and Toby said their goodbyes on the porch and Katy's throat was tight as she hugged them each in turn.

'I'm going to miss you all so much,' she whispered. 'Have a lovely time in America and don't forget to send me lots of postcards, Toby.'

Toby's small thin arms wound tightly round her neck, his big brown eyes bright. 'I love you, Katy,' he whispered in her ear. 'And if Uncle Sean won't marry you, I will—if you can wait till I'm grown up. In another fourteen more years I'll be as old as you!'

Katy kissed him. 'And I'll be an old lady by then.'

He clung to her until she had to disentangle the small arms from around her neck. As she climbed into the car beside Sean her eyes were wet. She fumbled in her bag for a handkerchief and Sean silently handed her his.

'This is getting to be a habit.' He looked at her briefly. 'Still, if you're sad to go it must mean that you haven't exactly been unhappy here.'

'I've
loved
it,' she sniffed. 'I've been happier here than almost anywhere I can remember. It's all gone so quickly and I'll—I'll miss them all so much.'

'Well, you're going back to St Anne's,' he said cheerfully. 'You know plenty of people there.' He looked at her. 'You did a great job with Toby, Katy. I'm grateful to you for coming and I'm sure that the experience was useful to you too.'

She nodded. 'And rewarding.' He was talking to her as though they were on the ward again. It seemed impossible to believe what had happened that night at Raikeside Lodge on the day of the blizzard. It was almost as though it had been between two different people.

She dabbed the last tear away and handed back his handkerchief. 'You'll be coming back to St Anne's for a while at least?' she said hopefully. 'To workout the rest of your time?'

He shrugged. 'I may not. The doctor who is filling in for me seems very happy. I'm sure he'd agree to stay on and I could do with some extra time to sort things out at Raikeside Lodge.'

Her heart sank. 'But surely you'll have to come south from time to time?'

'Oh, I shall have to come down to London to talk to the editor of the medical journal.'

She looked at him, her chin lifting. 'Oh—and I suppose you'll be seeing Helen Kent while you're there?'

He nodded casually, his eyes still on the road. 'I believe I did say I'd look her up.'

As he parked the car in the station car park Katy felt sick with misery. In all probability this would be the last time she saw him and she didn't know how to cope with it. He grinned at her as he hoisted her case effortlessly out of the back of the car.

'Don't look so downcast. I'm sure Jake and Claire will ask you back to Bridge House again. They like it so much that they're going to try and buy it, if the owner will agree on their price.'

Katy stood back as he bought her ticket for her at the booking office. He hadn't the least idea of how she felt and probably would only have laughed and made a joke of it if he had. She thought of the work that lay ahead of her in the coming weeks and was glad. She was going to need her every moment occupied if she was to put him out of her mind. She glanced at her watch. It was almost time for the train. There wouldn't even be time for a cup of coffee together.

The station announcer's voice came over the public address system with its usual nasal drone: 'The train now arriving at platform two is the ten-five for London, King's Cross. Passengers for—'

She looked up at Sean but before she had time to speak his arms went round her and he was kissing her hard.

'Goodbye, little marigold,' he whispered against her hair. 'Work hard and pass that exam. Take care of yourself.' He bundled her into the train and stood back, waving as it drew out of the station.

Katy stood forlornly at the window for a long time, tears standing in her eyes and her throat aching with all the words that would never be said. Rows of houses gave way to moorland, fields and trees, each mile taking her further away from Sean—and from the impossible dream in her heart. Now it was time to wake up to cold reality, to go back and face her failures—to try to begin all over again.

Katy
sat in the bus on her way back to Kensbridge. On her lap was a large bag containing the outfit she had just bought for the wedding: a two-piece in soft, cream silk and a wide-brimmed picture hat trimmed with forget-me-nots. She had come to town to keep her appointment with Mrs Bellamy, the Senior Nursing Officer at St Anne's. Everything had been arranged. She was to start back on the wards on Monday next and there was a room vacant for her at the nurses' hostel—she had been lucky, she was told. She had gone to look at it and come away depressed at its smallness after the spacious room she had grown used to at Bridge House. Some of the newer teaching hospitals had trim little flats for two or more nurses to share—not so St Anne's, built in the early part of the century. She hoped she would soon be lucky enough to find other accommodation that she could make more home-like.

At Cremorne Crescent Isobel had been busy making changes. Katy's old bedroom had been redecorated and refurnished and now awaited its new occupants, so Katy had been relegated to the box-room until after the wedding. Her father seemed to be in a daze and more vague than ever, whilst Isobel whirled around in her element— ordering flowers, arranging the catering and attending to a hundred and one other things. What had been originally intended as a 'quiet little wedding' had assumed the proportions of a state occasion, or so it seemed to Katy.

Mrs Bellamy had been pleased to see her again and glad that she had changed her mind about giving up nursing. She conceded that caring for Toby had been useful experience, but not, in her view, as good as staying on at St Anne's would have been. However, she agreed that Katy should take her finals again at the next sitting.

'It will mean a concentrated effort on your part,' she warned. 'Though I feel confident that you will succeed this time.'

The bus stopped at the corner of Cremorne Crescent and Katy got off. walking along the familiar tree-lined road. Tomorrow Isobel would become Mrs Lang and after a brief honeymoon she would be moving in with Dad. She seemed to have unearthed a huge pile of Katy's belongings whilst reorganising the house. As soon as the wedding was over she would have to set about the task of sorting through them. Katy sighed. The miniscule room at the nurses' hostel would hold only the minimum. It looked as though she would soon be making another trip to the charity shop. 'I might as well go and live at the place,' she told herself as she opened the front gate. 'Soon I'll feel more at home there than anywhere else!'

The great day dawned bright and sunny. Katy rose early and made her father's breakfast, reflecting that it would be for the last time. He ate it calmly and when Katy asked him if there was anything she could do to help him get ready he shook his head. Putting down his knife and fork he looked at her.

'There is one thing I'd like you to do, Katy,' he said. 'Will you go over to Isobel and ask if you can help her—make a little gesture.' He smiled his half-shy smile. 'She wants very badly to be your friend, you know.'

Katy shook her head. 'She might think I was interfering, Dad. I feel in the way as it is.'

He reached across the table to touch her hand, 'Isobel feels that you resent her. I've told her a dozen times it isn't so but she won't listen—says she'd feel the same in your place. I wish you'd go across and try to put things straight. It'd be the nicest wedding present you could give me.'