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‘And where did you get this very tender conscience from?’ Hudson asked.

‘From my mother,’ Serenity replied truthfully. ‘She messed up her own life, her own marriage, and almost destroyed a very good man. She talked to me a lot; she didn’t want me to make the same mess that she did. She said sex was a great and wonderful natural force, like electricity: out of control like lightning it can burn down a building in a blazing holocaust, destroy in minutes what it has taken years to build, but harnessed like electric power it can bring heat and light into your life through the years and provide blessings to all who love you.’

Somehow she was back in his arms, not even knowing she had moved.

‘Serenity, tell me, have you had a great deal of trouble avoiding the holocaust?’ He was smiling down at her.

‘No. None at all, not till now, not until I met you.’ She saw the light flare in his eyes, and his lips came down on hers and she gave herself to the sweetness of the moment, knowing as the fire in her rose to meet his demand that she had no strength left to deny him whatever he asked. When the raging inferno seemed to reach its peak, Hudson suddenly held her away from him. ‘You’ll stay here for two more weeks, Serenity?’

‘Yes, I will.’ She had no strength left to refuse.

The strident ring of the telephone came like a miracle.

‘Saved by the bell,’ Hudson said with a grin. ‘I’ll answer it, because I don’t want to be disturbed for a while. I’ll take it off the hook. Now don’t you go sloping off to bed, because you and I have things to talk about. If you go to bed, I’ll join you, so give it considerable thought.’ He gave her an eloquent look as he strode for his office.

With burning cheeks, Serenity moved swiftly on to the patio, loving the coolness of the night air on her face. She wanted to run, to flung her case in her car and drive and drive, yet as Hudson had said that night in Sarah’s garden ... it was too late. So this was the fire that her mother had warned her of, this ecstasy of love, this exhilaration of the senses, this anguish and this joy. An inferno which, once ignited, could flare into a consuming conflagration which could, uncontrolled, destroy in minutes one’s cherished ideals.

She gazed at the beauty of the night, the loveliness of the stars and mountains, and was deeply grateful that she had this breathing space to sort out her thoughts. She had no doubt now of the power of the attraction between them, or of her weakness in the face of Hudson’s demands, but if he pressured her into a decision against her principles she would live to regret it. Her conviction was an essential part of her personality, maybe even the very part of her that drew him to her.

‘Are you there, Serenity?’

Trembling, she brushed her hair back from her face and walked back into the lounge.

'I’m glad I answered that phone call. You’ll never guess who was calling. John Bellamy! I told him you weren’t available, but if he liked to ring back later you’d be happy to talk to him.’

Anger lit her grey eyes. ‘What right had you to make that decision? I
need
to talk to John.’

‘We have some things to settle first. He’s not at all upset about the ring, only distressed that his mother might have given people down here the wrong impression. He sounds a pleasant chap.’

‘He’s a wonderful man, and I’m furious at your arrogant action in saying I wasn’t available. That was a lie.’

‘You aren’t available to anyone until we’ve finished talking. I am happy to say he has released you from the engagement. I told him I had asked you to marry me, and that you loved me. He was very generous, and offered me his congratulations. He said you deserved the best, and he was sorry that he’d mucked up his chances.’

‘How could you? I could . . .’ Serenity spluttered in anger, too upset to find the words she needed. ‘You deliberately said it that way so that he would miscontrue the whole situation. When he rings back, I’ll set him straight. I. . .’

‘I told no lies,’ Hudson said calmly. ‘I was as honest with him as you were with me when you arrived. Isn’t that true?’

Serenity swallowed with difficulty, wanting to scream at him, but knowing it was no different. She had told the truth, but not the whole truth. Hudson had done the very same thing. How could he have been so cruel to John? John had come back hoping to fix things up, and Hudson had baldly told him she was already in love with another man. She could kill him. She fought back the torrent of rage that threatened.

‘You had no right, Hudson Grey,’ was all she could manage, in a shaking voice. ‘No right at all.’

‘I had every right, Serenity. I have cleared away my past. I have sent Madeline away. We could not talk honestly until John had given you his clearance. Well, we have that. Now we can talk.’

‘I have nothing to say to you. You’re . . . you’re a monster.’

Hudson threw back his head and roared laughing. ‘Not exactly a warm declaration of love. But you do love me, Serenity. Deny it if you can.’

Serenity bit her lip. Was it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time? Because that was exactly how she felt, all mixed up.

‘What would you have said to John? Can you tell him you want to marry him?’

‘No, I can’t, but I would have . .

‘Broken it to him gently,’ Hudson threw at her scornfully. ‘Would you have jollied him along for a few months, trying to soften the blow? There is no way to give that news gently. It probably hurt him like hell, but it had to be done. You should be grateful that I told him.’

‘Well, I’m not,’ Serenity replied fiercely. ‘You had no right.’

‘You’re repeating yourself, my darling. I have the right to pursue my own happiness, and it’s all wrapped up in you. I’m going to marry you.’.

'I'll never marry you. You’re cruel and insensitive, and . . .’

‘I love you, and you love me.’ He caught her in his arms, and kissed her until she stopped fighting him.

‘Talk about the taming of the shrew,’ he said, laughing down at her.

Serenity wrenched herself away from him. 'I'm not a shrew. And you’re very experienced at making love, but that doesn’t prove anything. Love is more than a physical response.’

‘I know, but it helps to know that you’re so
responsive,'
he said with a wicked grin. ‘Now we’ll have a cup of coffee, and discuss this sensibly.’

Serenity marched off to the kitchen indignantly, and plugged in the kettle. Of course he was right, John had to be told, and now it was done she felt a huge sense of relief. But need she be such a push-over every time Hudson kissed her? And she wouldn’t marry him. Who would want to be tied to a man who took everything into his own hands? Not her.

‘Put the supper on the table, Serenity. You sit on one side, me on the other, and we’ll talk. With this broad expanse of solid
kauri
between us, you won’t be able to accuse me of trying to confuse you with an emotional appeal.’

Serenity sat opposite him, knowing that if they put the Pacific Ocean between them, the very thought of him would still stir her senses beyond ordinary caution.

He was silent for a considerable time, then looked at her, all laughter gone from his eyes, so serious that it scared her.

‘You don’t want me to make love to you, you don’t want to marry me, so there’s nothing left for me to do but tell you to pack your bags and leave. Is that what you really want, Serenity?’

The pain of his words, the unexpectedness of them, was like a violent physical blow. He was telling her to go, he was sending her away . . . She closed her eyes, letting her long lashes rest on her pale cheeks so that he could not read the despair she felt. 'I'll leave tonight,’ she said in a low voice.

‘What other option have I? What do you really want?’

‘I would like time, time for us to get to know each other,’ she said, trying to stop herself from crying. He wasn’t going to give her that. . .

‘Time would not change how I feel about you, Paleface, and I don’t think you’d know me any better than you do this minute, even if you stayed here a year. You wanted an old-fashioned proposal; do you want an old-fashioned courtship, too? How long would it take you to learn to trust me? A year? Two years? You couldn’t stay here alone with me. I’m not made of iron. Do you think if I spent hours whispering sweet nothings in your ears, or if I sent you flowers and gifts for a year, you’d know me one whit better than you do now? You’ve got to take me on trust, as I do you.’

‘You don’t know me at all,’ Serenity said stubbornly.

‘I know all I want to know about you. Go on, surprise me. Tell me something about yourself that would shock me, change my attitude towards you.’

‘I’m Sarah Tarrant’s granddaughter,’ she flung at him angrily.

His eyes softened remarkably. ‘Of course, I should have known.’ His strong tanned hand stretched across the table and enveloped here. ‘No wonder you're so strange and wonderfully different from any other girl I’ve ever met. She was superb, my friend Sarah. And it was in her garden I first kissed you, and first knew I loved you. How she must have chuckled.’

‘Don’t you think I’m devious and underhanded, sneaking my way in here, not being completely honest for coming?’ She was trying to needle him, trying to hurt him, and not even understanding herself.

‘Not at all. You said it was confidential; I presume you had your reasons. You’ll tell me in your own good time. You know, after I lost Emma, Sarah was the only one I could talk to, and she told me that some day I’d meet a girl who would be a match for me in every way. And she said that when I did, the love that I had lost would be but a pale shadow of that which I found. That’s true, Serenity; she was talking about her own granddaughter.’

There was such a wealth of tenderness and love in his expression that Serenity found all her objections sliding away. She loved him, she wanted to be with him always, and she admired and respected him. Now she knew he loved her, that she could trust him to the uttermost. She didn't know how she had come by that knowledge, it had just happened.

‘What do you want, Hudson?’ she asked at last.

‘Ah, now you’re talking. I want to marry you, now, Serenity. I asked you once whether John was man enough for the road you wanted to walk. He wasn’t, but 1 am. There’s no road, however rough, that you will take that I won’t match you step for step, and pick you up and carry you if you falter. I will cherish you, love you, protect you, but I am and always will be head of the house. I will respect your wishes, when you show common sense. . .’

‘I always do that,’ Serenity interrupted quickly.

‘Not always, mostly. This waiting game isn’t for me, nor for you. We’d only be wasting precious time. We’ve got years to spend together, getting to know each other. Now you name the day when you will marry me.’ Serenity withdrew her hand from his clasp, and immediately felt cold and shivery. The warmth and glowing happiness that had filled her as he declared his love fell away, and her mouth went dry. Fear clawed at her, deep down within, as she realised she must answer him. He was offering her all she had ever dreamed of, and more, yet she was frightened to reach out and take such happiness.

‘What is it, Serenity? What is the matter?’ he demanded sharply, aware of the change in her attitude.

She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t.’

‘But you have to. You can say yes, and it’s all over bar the shouting and celebrations, or you can say no, and I will not ask you again. I have found this weekend very exhausting; I am not prepared to go through it again. I have to have a definite answer tonight. Take your time, think about it, then answer me. You can say next week, next month or next year. I will abide by what you say.’

She bit her lip. Where had this panic come from? Why? She loved him, she trusted him, and yet. . . Then she realised that the fault was in herself, not in him. She had thought that she had come through the collapse of her marriage plans without much hurt, but it wasn’t true. She was scared of a repeat performance, and this time it would be much worse, because this time she was really in love. She wouldn’t survive rejection a second time round.

He sat there patiently, not hurrying her, but he was waiting for an answer, determined to have one. She hadn’t met his parents. What if they reacted to her the way Madeline had, the way Mrs Bellamy had, making her feel insignificant and worthless? She hadn’t cared very much about Mrs Bellamy’s opinion of her. She was a joke to most people in the town, in spite of her position; they had laughed at her arrogance, her superior airs, and her mania for head-hunting prominent people for trophies at her parties. She had been a social climber of the worst variety, and her snide innuendoes had slidden off Serenity as water off a duck’s back, because she considered her blatant and slightly vulgar.

But Hudson’s parents were different. She would need their good opinion, she would want it, if the marriage were to be a success. She had no way of knowing what their reaction would be. She knew that there was nothing false or artificial about them. The visitors who had come through since she’d been there had shown, by their genuine disappointment, how loved and respected they were. She had seen Hudson’s photo album, photos of his parents taken with the Prime Minister, photos of Hudson with the Governor General’s sons when they had been visiting the Bar 2. How could she expect them to accept a girl like her, without a background?

If she accepted Hudson, said she would marry him next month, and they came home and were disappointed in her, she wouldn’t marry him. How could she answer him? Mrs Bellamy’s words came pounding into her brain: ‘a nice enough girl, a bit nondescript, no background, no breeding . . Desperately she wanted her mother, someone to advise her. Dear God, she prayed silently, closing her eyes tightly, give me wisdom.

‘Well, Serenity, I think you’ve had long enough,’ Hudson said firmly.

Serenity opened her eyes. ‘I’ll give you an answer when the ring is found. You said yourself that I wouldn’t be a free agent until I had handed it back.’

With uncanny perception he said, ‘You’re looking for a sign; that will be okay. I accept that, because I believe that we are right for each other. I’d like you to be sure, too. I don’t think it was coincidence that you came to Haupiri at this particular time. Now, how long after the ring is found until our wedding day?’