Unknown (Hooked Book 3) (2 page)

He’d seen the same worried expression on Logan’s face a hundred times. Malik already knew it was pointless to ask a single question.

“I signed up for a new fight today. If I win this one, everyone will know my name.”

Logan tried smiling. It didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Why is that?”

Malik helped Logan with dinner as he answered. “Because my competitor is one of the biggest names in my weight class. Are you okay?” Something about Logan’s expression bugged the shit out of Malik.

Logan looked away and grabbed some plates from the cabinet. “I’m fine. How’d you swing a fight with one of the biggest names in your weight class?”

Malik wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist and pulled Logan against his chest. With his sexy ass grinding against Malik’s crotch, Malik almost forgot he needed to know what was bothering Logan.

“Because I’m awesome. Now, have I told you how sexy you are today?”

Logan chuckled. “I don’t think it’s come up.”

Malik’s heart sang at the happiness in Logan’s voice. “How about how you’re my whole fucking world? Have we had that discussion?”

Logan relaxed into Malik’s hold. “Not today.”

Attempting to draw Logan’s delicious scent into his lungs, Malik pressed his lips to the spot beneath Logan’s ear and inhaled. “I’ll tell you tomorrow,” he promised. Right now, they had other fun things to discuss.

Tomorrow had never come, and Malik didn’t know why. The question haunted him day and night. He’d resigned himself to never knowing peace again.

*

By the time Logan left the hospital with Malik and pulled into his drive, his skin crawled with the need to escape the hatred in Malik’s stare. When Malik realized they were headed back to Logan’s apartment instead of Malik’s place, Malik had put up one hell of a fight. In the end, he’d recognized the futility of the situation. Logan could be damn stubborn when he set his mind to something. In this case, no way would Logan take Malik home to die alone in his sleep.

Logan’s blood ran cold as he thought about Sam’s call. The man had been panicked in a way Logan had never witnessed before. Considering Sam was a strongman competitor and one of the steadiest men Logan knew, Logan had half-expected he’d find Malik on life support by the time he made it to the hospital.

“I think I still have some of your clothes if you’d like to take a shower.”

Actually, Logan knew he still had some of Malik’s clothes, but no way in hell would he admit to it—like he still cared. Showing up at the hospital was bad enough.

“That would be great. Thanks.”

Malik sounded stiff, but Logan still released a pent up breath. Considering how much Malik hated him, every conversation could always go either way.

“Would you like something to eat?” Logan didn’t know why he couldn’t shut up.

“I’m good. Let me grab a shower and a few hours of sleep, and I’ll be good. I just want to be done with this night.”

“You mean you just want to be done with me.” Logan wanted to bite off his tongue. He hated that Malik made him weak.

“Take it how you want.”

With his head down and holding his silence, Logan headed for the bedroom. No good could come of him saying another damn word. He’d already said too many. After finding one of Malik’s shirts and a pair of sweat pants, he handed them over.

“Here you go. You know where to find everything else.” And how sad was that? They’d split eight months earlier and still Malik knew where everything was in Logan’s new apartment. They never seemed to fully quit each other. That wasn’t true. They’d given up on each other in every way that counted. Their bodies still believed they belonged together.

While Malik showered, Logan got ready for bed. He tried not to picture Malik’s nude body with beads of water rolling down every hardened inch. Malik’s body was a-fucking-mazing. He stood an entire foot taller than Logan. His shoulders were wide enough to make Logan feel tiny. In Malik’s presence, Logan had always felt protected and cherished. Now, he just felt alone and loathed.

When the bathroom door opened, a cloud of steam rolled out along with Malik. Logan tried not to stare as Malik climbed into Logan’s bed. The way the sweat pants clung to Malik’s ass, shaping it perfectly had Logan’s mouth watering. His body ached with desire. Everything else wept with loss. There’d been thousands of times Logan had caught people eyeing Malik with open hunger. Every single time, Logan had smiled, knowing this sexy man would be going home with him. Malik never looked twice at anyone else. Now it was all gone because Logan was weak.

Giving up on trying to figure out the cruelties of life, Logan switched off the light, and moved to the opposite side of the bed.

“What are you doing?”

Logan climbed onto the mattress, doing his best not to touch Malik in any way. “I can’t keep an eye on you if I’m not here. Don’t worry. I’m not trying to molest you.”

Logan turned on his side, keeping his back to Malik. He couldn’t see the relief in Malik’s face. If he did, it might finally kill him. Loving Malik was already slowly doing that. Five minutes passed before Malik responded.

“I can’t sleep with you beside me. It hurts too much.”

It was the same as Malik punching him. Logan couldn’t do this. He’d had the best of intentions, but this, it was fucking killing him. He might really die.

Logan snagged his pillow. “I’ll sleep on the couch and check on you a few times.” Before he slipped from the bed, Malik’s weight landed on him, pinning Logan on his stomach.

“I said I couldn’t sleep. That wasn’t your cue to leave.” Logan’s body betrayed him, going hard. Malik’s touch always did that. All it took was the insinuation of sex with Malik and Logan’s body was on board. “I hope you have a condom around here somewhere.”

This was one of the many ways Malik always made him pay. They’d forgone condoms a long time ago, way before Logan moved out. He knew Malik’s insistence now was a dig at Logan. Whether he meant to insinuate Logan slept with everyone, or hoped Logan would think Malik did, either way the result was the same. Logan felt sick. He’d done this. If Malik took home a different man every night of the week, Logan had no one to blame but himself. Likewise, if Malik honestly believed Logan fucked anything that moved, he’d planted that seed in Malik’s head. Logan intentionally didn’t keep condoms for this reason. No way could he let anyone else touch him. His heart belonged to Malik.

“Sorry. I don’t sleep around. No need for such a thing.”

Malik shoved his hand between Logan’s body and the mattress, palming Logan’s erection. “There might be one in my wallet.”

A cold chill wracked Logan’s body at the thought of Malik making love to someone else. Malik’s teeth sank into Logan’s lobe for half a second before his tongue traced the cords of Logan’s neck. A low chuckle left Malik’s lips, vibrating against Logan’s skin. “Never mind. Come to think of it, I used the one in my wallet already.”

Bile rose in Logan’s throat. The jibe might’ve been a new form of torture. Logan was scared shitless it wasn’t. He knew Malik would eventually find someone new. No amount of lecturing himself prepared Logan for the shot to his chest. He refused to let Malik see his pain.

“Good thing there’re hundreds of fun things I can do to you without protection.”

“And no one has your talent,” Malik said, adding his thoughts to Logan’s claim as his warm lips moved down Logan’s spine.

Hot tears pressed against the backs of Logan’s eyes. Love was such a cruel bitch. Only the knowledge that it was all his fault kept Logan from hating Malik. At one time, Malik had made Logan feel like there was no one more important on the planet. Now, Malik used every ounce of his skill to make Logan feel like a whore. Sometimes, Logan wondered which was the worst hell, this, or never feeling Malik’s body against his again.

“Come on, Logan. Roll over and show me what that mouth can do. You know I’ll reciprocate.”

Without thought, Logan landed an elbow to Malik’s ribs before scrambling out from underneath him. There was no missing his erection. It was more than obvious he wanted Malik, but his heart, it couldn’t take this shit. He didn’t look back as he headed for the living room. When he reached the couch, he didn’t fall across it, face first and screaming into the pillows, as he wanted. Instead, he calmly sat. He stared straight ahead, doing his best to think of nothing at all. Even when Malik stormed into the room after him, Logan didn’t look away from the wall. That eggshell colored empty space kept him from flying apart inside. With his palms together and his hands between his knees, Logan tried holding his shit together by force of will alone. Without a word, Malik swept Logan from the couch and into his arms before heading back toward the bedroom.

“The doctor said no strenuous activity,” Logan said, surprising himself with how calm he sounded.

“Shut the fuck up, Logan. I agreed to stay and let you watch over me. You can’t do that from the couch.”

Logan ground his back teeth together. Hell would freeze before he begged Malik not to destroy what was left of his heart. Malik set Logan on the edge of the bed and went down onto his knees between Logan’s.

“You knew I was a bastard before you brought me here.”

Against his will, Logan’s palms landed on Malik’s forearms and slid upward. He shaped every muscle on the way to encircling Malik’s neck. Malik’s body was a work of art. Although it had definitely caught Logan’s eye the first time they’d met, it had been Malik’s smile that had captured Logan’s heart. Logan hadn’t seen Malik smile in a long time.

“Why are you so quiet?”

Malik’s question was a shot to Logan’s heart and Malik knew it.

“No one wants to hear what I have to say.”

Malik’s eyes were sad. “I do.”

The pain was crippling. Logan needed it to stop. He inched forward, giving Malik time to reject him. His gaze lingered on Malik’s lips. They were gorgeous. He could remember exactly how they tasted. Malik held still. Hope rose in Logan’s chest. His lips tingled. Logan could already feel the pressure of Malik’s lips on his. At the last second, Malik turned his head, robbing Logan of his flavor. It was his punishment. Logan deserved it. The knowledge didn’t make Malik’s rejection hurt any less. He refused to show Malik his pain. Instead, he claimed the spot Malik exposed when he’d turned his head. Logan opened his mouth over the cords of Malik’s neck, tonguing them every bit as fiercely as he would’ve claimed Malik’s mouth. Chill bumps rose beneath his tongue. Logan knew Malik wasn’t unaffected.

Malik never denied Logan his body. His heart was a different story. Malik kept a tight lock on that, ensuring each encounter left Logan feeling as cheap as possible. Still, Logan couldn’t stay away. No matter how badly he wanted to quit Malik, it never happened. It equally didn’t matter how hard Logan worked at pulling any emotion from Malik, Malik’s lips never touched Logan’s.

But, Malik didn’t push Logan away. It hit Logan. This could be the last time. There was every possibility Malik would never let Logan touch him again. A wave of longing washed over him. He missed the sensation of Malik’s whispered words of love brushing his neck as their sweat covered chests met. Pressing his luck, Logan moved lower, licking the spot where Malik’s neck and shoulder met. Malik’s thumbs brushed Logan’s sides.

“Logan.”

Logan’s nose stung at the sound of his name on Malik’s lips. He’d give anything to hear it again. There was a raw spot on Logan’s soul where he’d ripped Malik away. He’d been saving himself from a worse fate. Right now, it didn’t feel like there was such a thing. His chin lifted. Against his will, Logan focused once more on Malik’s lips. He could already feel them against his. Malik leaned in until barely an inch separated them. Logan could see Malik straining for each breath as if he fought against himself. His lips parted, anticipating Malik’s kiss. Malik’s body swayed in Logan’s direction. Logan’s pulse pounded in his ears. The air thinned, making it nearly impossible for Logan to catch his breath.

Malik shot to his feet. “I fucking hate you,” Malik said, almost too quietly for Logan to hear as he crawled back into his side of the bed. But he had heard, and it was right there, killing Logan. His vision blurred and his jaw ached from holding back the pain. Scooching from the bed, Logan headed for the bathroom. He needed distance.

Logan fired up the shower and stood, staring at nothing, until steam filled the bathroom before stepping beneath the stream. No matter how hard he tried keeping his mind blank, the grief always won. Logan turned his chin up and let the water roll down his face. With the hot beads of water hitting his cheeks, Logan pretended there were no tears mixed in as he let the memories overtake him.

Amber eyes watched Logan with barely suppressed hunger. His massive shoulders filled one side of the booth. The man’s full lips fascinated Logan. Logan had never had anyone as sexy as this man give him an ounce of attention.

“I guess I’d better order. You’ll never make any tips tonight at this rate.”

Logan couldn’t tear his gaze away from the sexy man, claiming one of his tables. “Yeah. I guess spending fifteen minutes chatting with one customer may’ve pissed off the rest of my tables.”

Malik chuckled.

At the sound, Logan curled his fingers into a fist. He’d never wanted to touch anyone as badly.