Unlawful Seizure (Filthy Florida Alphas Book 1) (23 page)

T
he guard pushes me down in the seat. I don’t bother giving him the time of the day. It doesn’t matter. Nothing does these days. Nothing except this visit. These visits from Marcum keep me sane. I don’t know how he did it, and I don’t ask, but these days we get to talk sitting across from each other at a table. No more glass between us. That, at least, makes me feel less caged.

“You’re looking rough, boy.” Marcum says, and I give him a one finger salute.

“How are Tess and the baby?” I ask getting straight to the point.

“Why are you asking? You’re the fucker who pushed her away.”

“She needed to stop dreaming of a life with me. She needed to live her life,” I explain again, even if the thoughts of her with another man destroys me.

“Then I’ll guess you’ll be happy to know Officer De Luca has taken a liking to her,” Marcum says leaning back in his seat like he doesn’t have a care in the world. The words are like acid.

“That fucking detective?” I bark, not liking the idea of his pretty boy face anywhere near Tess.

“Hey, what do you care right? He’ll take care of our girl, keep your kid safe. He’ll be honest as the day is long, and Tess can have the home in the suburbs you say she wants. All’s well that ends well, right, boy?”

“He’s not right for Tess,” I tell him, not even bothering to act uninterested. Marcum would see through that shit anyway.

“He doesn’t seem to agree. Been over at her house four times in the last two weeks.”

“What the fuck for?”

“Says he’s making sure her and the baby are okay and don’t need anything.”

“The fuck he is. He’s after, Tess.”

“Probably, she’s a damn fine woman. And you, like usual, ignored me when I told you to lock her. So, thanks to you being stupid, she’s free.”

“You and the boys need to have a talk with the asshole. He needs to stay away from Tess.”

“Why, boy? Isn’t this what you wanted? A nice, stable, honest man for our girl?”

“Fuck, I don’t know what I wanted. I just didn’t want her pining away for something that wasn’t going to happen, Marcum.”

The old man exhales and then slides up, so he’s leaning his upper body on the table.

“It may not be overnight, but it’s going to happen, boy. You need to get your head out of your ass and give my girl some hope.”

“Your girl?”

“She’s the smartest thing you’ve ever done in your life, Maxwell. The club has claimed her; we’re keeping her and little Maddie.”

“Maddie?”

“She named the baby, Madison. Little Maddie is damn cute. Looks so much like her mom it’s unreal.”

“She had the baby? She wasn’t due till next week,” I say, feeling like I’m coming apart at the seams. My baby…she’s here…and I haven’t got to touch her or see her. Fuck. My hands shake as I reach for the photo that Marcum pushes across the table to me.

Tess. My precious Tess is holding a child. She looks so tired and worn out, but she’s smiling down at this small bundle in her hands like she’s holding the world…and she is; this small, wrinkled, beautiful baby girl, staring back at me. She’s got a head full of dark black hair, and it’s sticking up in places, Tess’s hand is lovingly placed on the top trying to calm it down. These midnight-dark eyes stare back at me, and her small little lips have a half smile on them. She’s gorgeous. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life. That’s not what makes me feel like someone is squeezing my heart and killing me though. No, that’s baby Maddie’s smile. It’s so much like Tess’s it takes my breath away.

My finger touches the glossy photo as if somehow it can absorb through and touch the real thing. Emotions are pushing through me at the speed of light. So many different ones swirling in all directions and all I can think is; this is my family. My woman and this child…this child that is a part of me. A part of me and the woman I love, this child is …everything.

“She’s special, boy. Do you see her? Really see her? She’s the reason you need to get your head out of your ass.”

I can’t drag my eyes from the photo. I don’t even try.

“I can’t magically just get out of here, Marcum. God, don’t you know if I could I’d be right by Tess’s side? Fuck!” I can’t hold it in anymore. Emotions are so thick, so raw and real that I can’t hold them inside any longer. The picture shakes in my hand. My baby. My daughter! Does she wonder why her dad isn’t there? Does she even know that she’s supposed to have a father there? Protecting her? Holding her? Talking to her? Rocking her to sleep? My daughter! Tears gather in my eyes. I can’t help it. I want to be with her. I want to be with her and Tess. The fact that I’m not, that I can’t be, is destroying me.

“I didn’t say you could. But, you can damned well get your act together and start helping me, to get you the fuck out of here.”

“I’m locked up behind bars, Marcum. What the hell do you think I can do from in here? That fucking Jenna has it so everything that happens to me is monitored. Your bigwig connections are worthless. They’re all fucking afraid to touch my case, so they don’t get accused of being in bed with crooks on the five o’clock news!”

“I’m handling that. I didn’t say it would happen overnight, but, son, it will happen. In the meantime, you need to quit pushing Tess away, before you lose every shot of having your family together when you walk out of here. You have the world right there. You don’t just fucking hand that away to another man. Especially some uptight cop. If that fucker raises my granddaughter I’ll personally cut your dick off, boy. Do you hear me?”

“What do you want me to do?” I ask him, drying my eyes with the side of my hand and trying to get a hold of myself.

He pushes a notepad and a pen on the table towards me.

“Write to Tess. Give her a reason to hold on.”

I look at the paper like it’s a gun pointed at me. What the hell do I tell her? What in the hell can I say? Will it make a difference to her now, after the way we parted months ago? I pick up the pen, ignoring the way my hand shakes.

Hell.

Madison’s First Birthday Party

I
watch as my daughter screams in pleasure each time Dusty throws her up in the air. She’s such a happy child. I’m thankful for that. She’s kept me going this last year. It’s been hard. I’ve lost count of the nights my pillow has held me and taken my tears while I’d read the latest letter from Max. That’s the only contact I’ve had with him for a year. Just letters. He’d send one with Marcum, and I’d send one back once a month with pictures of Maddie. I wanted to go and see him, but he asked me not to. He told me how much it hurt to see me and not be able to hold me. It upset me, but so much about Max does. He apologized for the day in prison when he pushed me away. I understood, but I’d be lying if I said it still wasn’t painful. I don’t know how I’m going to react to seeing Max again. I’m excited, nervous, and petrified. I’m scared as hell.

I need to figure it out soon because Marcum called twenty minutes ago to let me know he has Max, and they’re headed here. That means any minute now Max will be showing up at the party. I will lay eyes on the man that I loved…still love…even after all this time. I don’t know what to do with that. I’m not sure I even believe it. We have so much to discuss. We have so much to decide. And Max…he’s missed so much. Things he’ll never get back. How will he handle that? The party is suddenly suffocating me. Panic is overwhelming me.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Cherry asks with her hand on my shoulder. I hadn’t even realized she was in front of me.

“I…I’m scared, Cherry,” I admit. Cherry understands, she’s been the only person I’ve been able to let in. She listens and lets me cry. I can be weak with her.

“Do you want us all to leave?” She asks, but the thought of facing Max on my own is worse. How did we get here? How did I get afraid to see the father of my child?

“No…I just need a minute to regroup. I’m going to take Maddie down to the water for a few minutes.”

“Okay, honey, I’ll make sure the boys are occupied and have plenty of food. The others have the babies.”

“Thanks.”

I go to get my girl from Dusty, which isn’t easy. The big guy is almost as attached to her as Marcum is. Luckily Maddie is easy going. She climbs into my arms without a second thought.

“Mom-mom,” she says her little hands grasping out towards me. I take her in my arms, her sweet smell surrounding me, and her warmth reaching through my nerves and instantly I feel better. Maddie has that much power.

“Let’s go and find shells, sweet baby,” I tell her, knowing it is her favorite pastime. She squeals in delight, just as I knew she would.

I hold her close and go down to the edge of the ocean. I look out over the water, trying to calm my thoughts and prepare myself for Max.

“Mom-mom!” Maddie yells, demanding attention. She’s squirming and pushing against my chest, doing her best to get down. She’s not been walking long, her feet are still unsteady, but I always let her go when we’re on the beach, as long as I keep me between her and the water. It’s her favorite thing, she laughs when she falls, and the sound of my daughter’s laugh is, to me, the most beautiful sound in the world. I let her slide to the ground and lead her back to the beach away from the water. We sit down, and luckily it has been cloudy, so the sand isn’t too hot. I pull Maddie between my legs and reach around helping her to shovel through the sand with our hands. Maddie laughs as the sand covers her feet. I smile, despite my worries.

“Hi.”

It’s one word. One word, from a voice that I remember, but haven’t heard in so long, so long that I was beginning to forget the tone and the way the timber of it sends shivers of awareness through my system. I hold my gaze down on Maddie’s head and then slowly shift it to Max’s feet. Just as slowly, I let it travel the length of his body until I rest on his face. There should be something I could say here. Something—anything. Nothing comes though. My voice is frozen in my throat. My heart is pounding.

My daughter must pick up on the change in me because she stops laughing and cooing. The sand stops occupying her, and she looks up at Max. I’m being a wimp; I need to snap out of it. Maddie however, has nothing holding her back. She pushes up, trying to get away from me. I help her stand, bracing my hands on her little hips. I’m letting her distract me from Max. I need her to, because, for the life of me, I can’t even manage to say hi back. I swallow; suddenly my mouth feels very dry.

“Da-Da!” Maddie says, jumping up and down, wanting to get away. “Da-Da!”

Of course she would recognize him. She’s only a year old, but I’ve done my best to show her a picture of him every night after we read and together we say goodnight to Daddy. I wanted Max to be a part of her life in whatever small way I could manage it. When I look up and see Max’s face, my heart contracts. I let go of Maddie, and she takes her stumbling steps to him. The sand is hard for her but after falling once she makes the six or seven steps to him. She reaches up to him in complete trust, as only a child can, and I watch as Max holds his daughter for the first time.