Unleashed (A Bad Boy Stepbrother Romance) (205 page)

The days blend together, one smudged aching blur.

I’ve never felt this way before.

Penelope isn’t talking to me, and it’s eating me up. I’m not some clingy dick with low self-esteem, but she and I really had something. I’ve never felt more comfortable around a girl before, more attracted to one.

I’ve never wanted to please a girl more than I do Pen.

I’ve never felt the sting of disappointing a girl more than I do Pen.

And I’ve disappointed a metric fuckton of girls.

Usually I just get mine, and I’m fine with that. I fuck them, and leave them. I don’t need any attachments. For fuck’s sake, I fight underground. Attachments get you burned one way or another. Distractions take your mind off the prize, the win.

But now I’m doubting that philosophy. Now Pen has got me going back on my own beliefs, on the way I’ve lived my life.

Because now
she’s
the prize,
she’s
what I want to win… need to win. But I need to protect her, too, and that makes my mind go somewhere it doesn’t want to.

Do I need to protect her from me?

She is pissed at me, and rightfully so. I didn’t fucking know that I’d get involved with the mob. They basically gave me no choice but to fight in this pathetic little dick-measuring match. Some local mobster cunt and some Russian mafia cunt want to settle a bet, and they’re using me to do it, and some foreign beefcake fighter.

They’re not just using me, either. They’re using Pen, too. I wonder idly what this Anton fuckhead was threatened with. I wonder how they could make him fly half way around the world just to do one single fight. Maybe they got to him, too.

Nothing is worse than being a pawn. I’m going to find a fucking way out of this one way or another, and then I’m going to make sure Lev Fallon, the cocksucker, goes down.

But five million
is
retirement money. Five million on top of what I already got saved and invested? Shit, I don’t consider myself motivated by money, but damn, that’s a good life for me and my kids. And, it keeps Pen safe. If I don’t do the fight, they’ll get to her. That much is clear as day.

Wait a minute…
My kids?
I blink, surprised at myself for the thought.

I’ve never, ever considered having kids before. I’ve never considered settling down before. To me, that was always phony bullshit. Nobody wants to settle down. Nobody wants some boring fucking suburban life with picket fences and flower beds and shitty fake dinner parties filled by passive-aggressive small talk.