Unleashed (4 page)

“I
’m an IRS agent,” Dexter admits, yanking a laugh from my throat.

“How apropos,” I snicker
out. “Death and taxes,” I say over my shoulder as I leave his den. I hear his chuckle the entire way down the hall to the dungeon.

Chapter Three

I enter my apartment
, still reeling from the after-effects of the creepy crawly sensation that was trilling down my spine. I always trust my intuition. It hasn’t failed me yet. No matter how hard I looked around on the walk home from Restraint, I couldn’t associate a person with the sensation.

My apartment is empty of occupants
, with the exception of workmen. I hear their hammers pounding and saws revving. I’d doubted Ezra’s claims about creating a large apartment from our two, and that it wouldn’t take long for the construction. But I was gone less than two hours, and I see at least five workmen wandering around my home. It angers me, makes me feel as if I have absolutely no control over my life. Even though I rented this place, I didn’t own it, and the owner does as he pleases… in everything.

I hope quittin
g time is soon, because this could get old- fast. Not only is it loud, it’s that people, strangers, have invaded my personal space with my personal belongings. This is my home. It’s where I go to relax and just breathe. Now, not only are there workmen, but Ezra and the gang will now take up residence in my private life. But I guess they were already stalking the fringes of it anyway.

I
need a few minutes to myself, a sense of normalcy after all that I’ve been through these past few weeks. I think I’ve earned it. I sit on my sofa, but the whirrs of the saws and the pounds of hammers are hard to deny. There is no relaxation to be had.

Just as I’m
about to hunt everyone down, I hear my daughter’s girlish voice, “make sure you order a Hawaiian pizza for Mom. Oh, and add green peppers. She loves those.” I guess everyone is hiding out in the guys’ apartment because of the noise. I assume it’s pizza night from what I just overheard.

My living room/Ezra’s bedroom portal is now eight feet wide. The wall has been cut away.
I lean near the large hole the workmen created between our apartments and watch the scene before me. Aaron and Kayla are sitting on the sofa, heads close in deep conversation. Hope springs in my heart. They are perfect for one another, both hold a childlike innocence. Ezra is clearing off the dining table, casting covert glances at the couple. He tries to hide a smile and fails, impressed with his own matchmaking skills. Seeing Aaron and Kayla happy expands my heart, but nowhere near the amount that just that little smile on Ezra can bring.

“What kind of pizza do you want, Ava?” Cortez says as he holds his cell
at the ready so that he can place the order.

“I’ll
just eat whatever you get for Mom,” Ava says from her perch at the kitchen island. Her feet happily swing as she sits at the stool. Seeing her content and at ease around people that were strangers to her up until yesterday afternoon is a relief. I’d worried about her transition. But some people are ingrained in your soul. You feel the connection as soon as you meet them.

“Are you sure it’s your mom that loves
Hawaiian pizza and not you,” Cort replies with obvious suspicion. He’s a smart man for not trusting the word of an eleven-year-old, especially one that is the product of Ezra and myself.

“Cort, who do you think makes me eat that?”
she says with attitude. The bitchiness is all me, but the firmness is her father. She chucks a pen at Cortez’s head. It flies by him and hits the table, rolling to a stop near Ezra’s hand.

“Behave, both of you,” Ezra
lightheartedly says. “I can give out spankings,” he warns while softly chuckling underneath his breath. 

I can’t help the smile that engulfs my face at the scene before me. It’s an unconventional family, but everyone has their place.
It gives me hope for the future- hope that we can work out a comfortable arrangement and live peacefully.

Ezra looks up
, as if he feels me watching from my hidey hole. He mirrors my grin as he strides over to me.

“Hi,” I
shyly say, blushing for some unknown reason.

“Hi,” Ezra
echoes back as he walks up to me, using his body to force me into my apartment- forcing me to be alone with him. Without touching me, his presence back me up against the wall. Slowly, as if waiting for me to protest, Ezra leans his tall form into me. The weight and warmth of him has my eyelids slowly lowering in pleasure. Ezra’s gaze searches my face, trying to discern my emotions. His expression relaxes as if satisfied with what he sees.

“Did you fin
d what you were looking for?” Ezra tries to hide his worry, but I can feel it in the tension of his body.

“Yeah, I did
,” I draw out. “Listen, can we talk about that later? I really want to see Ava for a few minutes before dinner. It need to relax.” I try to dismiss Ezra, because the feel of him next to me and the scene playing out in the next room feels too damned good. He can’t be that man for me if he is attached to someone else. I don’t want to lower Adelaide or myself by allowing it. And Ezra wouldn’t be the man I want or need if he’d truly cheat with one woman while being committed to another.

Ezra
nods his head as his hands trail up and down my arms in a soothing motion. Whether its purpose is to calm him or me is anyone’s guess.

“May I greet you?”
Ezra breathes across my cheek, the heat of it making my knees weak. My body remembers that kiss on the sofa and the sneaky one that followed. It doesn’t want to be denied when it’s the object of its lusty affection doing the offering.

Ezra’
s face is so serious that I bark out a laugh to break the tension. “Greet me?” I murmur.  

I watch as a grin plays over Ezra’s stern
lips, a slight curve at the corners. Hypnotized by that smile, I notice too late that his smoky eyes getting closer and closer. His lips softly touch mine- just a mere brush. A sigh spills from my mouth as if I waited all day for this moment, craved it, and I’m more than satisfied to finally be experiencing it.

Ezra’
s gaze darts over my face- reading me. As if satisfied with my expression, he slowly leans forward giving me time to say stop. But I don’t, because my body refuses to allow my mind to be in control. A moan bubbles up my throat as his mouth duels with mine. My fingers tangle in his white-blond hair. I revel at its silky texture, so fine I can’t truly grasp it. If he were to pull back, his hair would slide freely from my fingertips.

My conscience
is screaming stop while my heart tells it to shut the fuck up. I’m not sure who to listen to, so I shut them both out.

Ezra fuses his body
to mine by pushing me against the wall as hard as he can. I tighten my grip on his hair, holding his mouth to mine. Both of us are making hungry little noises from the backs of our throats, the impatient sounds are mingling in our parted mouths. I nibble at his full, bottom lip, and it’s his turn for his knees to weaken.

“M
a…” Ava calls out from the gaping hole between the apartments. We both freeze, as we’re teenagers caught in the act. Our daughter blushes at us, but not nearly as bright as the pair of us does. 

“We shouldn’t do that,” I
say as my fingers slide from Ezra’s hair and down his back. But my hands vehemently disagree with my statement. They settle at his waist and latch on for dear life, twisting the material of his shirt in my grasp.

“Hmm…” Ezra
lightly kisses my cheek. “I think we should. In fact, I think we should often,” he kisses me again to reiterate his point.

My skin blazes as I look at my daughter
. Ava is calmly standing next to us, as if this is nothing out of the ordinary. I don’t understand her. Actually, I never have. She’s never seen me kiss anyone, and yet she watches with no judgment.

“I’ll leave my ladies to chat,
” Ezra murmurs. A peculiar expression flashes over his face, as if he hadn’t meant to say
my ladies
, but he loved the way it smoothly slid from his tongue. Ezra abruptly buries his face in my neck and whispers, “I missed you. Please don’t run off without telling one of us where you went. We were very worried.”

Ezra
lifts his face from his hiding spot, only to intercept the exasperated look I’m sending his way. He bends back down and nips my neck, startling an inappropriate sound from my throat. I’m not sure Dexter is correct. Ezra seems to channel Master Ez nicely. There is a definite duality to him, but they are melding before my eyes.

I’m surprised th
at I haven’t fainted from blood loss- all my blood is channeled into a full body blush. I take deep breaths as I walk to the sofa and drop down onto a cushion.

“
It’s okay, Mom, you don’t have to be embarrassed.” Ava looks at me from the gray eyes of an adult set inside a child’s face as she settles onto the sofa next to me.

“No, no it’s not okay, Ava. You don’t understand.” I scrub my hands across my face
, and want to scream bloody murder. Scream for not demanding what I want- need. Scream because if Adelaide were before me at this exact second, I would tear her apart with my bare hands and revel in the sensation of her blood coating my fingertips. This is why I went to Dexter: I need an outlet for this rage building inside me- this need.

“That’s what parents do, M
om. You guys had to do a lot more than that to make me.” She giggles a sweet, childlike, chiming noise that holds an edge, just this side of sinister. I’m not sure who she gained that from, but I’ve always found it unnerving. “Do I need to have the birds and the bees talk with you now, Mom?” Another creepy giggle erupts from my child’s mouth.

“It’s not that,” I
exasperatedly say. “Your father’s not available. I don’t know how to tell you this. I know you’ve probably dreamed that your parents will be happily ever after together for all eternity… but that isn’t going to happen, baby girl.”

I start to cry, silent tears splatter my cheeks. My heart is already broken, playing this affection game with Ezra may feel good as we touch, but afterwards I feel like a whore. I make myself feel this way. He continues to pull me in knowing I don’t have the ability to say no. Tainting myself is one thing, tainting my daughter is
another.

“What do you think of your father?” I ask the question that has plagued me since they met.

“I like him. He
talked to me constantly today. Everyone is so nice. It just feels right somehow. Cort told me to look at him as a Dad, too,” she giggles and I know she knows what that means. “And he said to call Aaron and Kayla uncle and aunt. I want to call them that but it’s up to you, Momma.” 

The hope in my child’s eyes brings tears to my eyes. She’s only ever had a small family
, just my parents and me, and now this larger world filled with people who care about her is offered up on a silver platter. My pessimistic side rears its ugly head. Is it too good to be true?

“A word of advice
: before you go any farther, don’t let anyone buy your love, okay. It’s their actions that matter. I’m not saying that Ezra isn’t great, that they aren’t all great, just be careful,” I warn. The look in Ava’s eyes tells me that I’m being ridiculous. This is my child I’m talking to as if cautious wasn’t her middle name. She rolls her eyes at me as I shake my head at her.

“A lady came over while you were gone today. She’s
from Hillbrook, Ms. Banks,” Ava happily chips. “She helped me pick out classes. Dad even ordered uniforms for me. I start on Monday.” She’s thrumming with excitement. Her dream is becoming reality, and who am I to take it from her.

“
I’m so happy for you, baby girl. This is what you’ve wanted for a long time. You have no idea how proud I am of you.” I pull Ava into a big hug and squeeze until she tries to wiggle away. I’m not used to her being bigger than me. A few months ago, I could have kept her captured, but now she easily breaks my hold. Ava isn’t the cuddly sort anymore, either- just like her momma.

“Why can’t you and D
ad be together?” Ava abruptly blurts out, like she’s been holding the question in since she met him.

“This is difficult for me. I
know it’s new for you, but it’s also new for me. It’s always just been the two of us, and now we have everyone in the other room to consider.” I draw in a large breath of air and ease it out. It’s pull off the Band-Aid time. “Your father is engaged to a woman named Adelaide Whittenhower. I’m sorry, it’s one thing to get a father after eleven years, but soon you’ll have a stepmother, as well. I don’t know when they are getting married. But when they do, it’ll be just the two of us again. That’s the biggest reason I’m not complaining about the living arrangements. You and Ezra need to bond without Adelaide’s outside influence.”