Authors: Erica Chilson
The fact that Ezra
is still thinking straight bothers me a bit. I want to be his undoing, but I’m thankful I’m not. The consequences would be astronomical.
Ezra’s
satisfied laughter echoes down the hallway. My toes curl from the addictively warm, smoky sound. Ezra and Cortez’s laughter has weight, as if it has substance, a tangible thing.
Ezra
gazes at me with the same look that Cort gave me earlier. The look that Cort says is just for Ezra and me. I can tell that I’ve got that same stupid look on my face, and it will only lead to disaster.
“I pray that that isn’t how fourteen-year-olds dry hump, because in two years
, I’ll be locking our daughter in a tower. She’s our kid, after all… so… yeah, we’re basically screwed.” I laugh in fear as I wipe Ezra’s baby-juice from my belly with his pajama bottoms.
“Yes, we’
re Ava’s parents, so she will undoubtedly be horrid. My God, I was only a few months older than her when I started to have sex with Cort,” Ezra reveals, and it freaks my ass out. “But we are also her parents,” he stresses. “I’ll know the second she tries to do bad, and kick her ass.”
If any other man
had threatened my daughter, I’d kick his ass. But right now, I’m thankful that I have him on my team. Ezra can be a scary motherfucker. My daughter’s lucky to have him.
Ezra
leads me back into his apartment- well, soon to be mine as well, once the workmen complete the renovations. Does this mean we are living together? I scoff at the thought, surely not.
“Can we talk for a minute or do you need to check on Cortez first?”
I hesitantly ask.
“We have a few minutes. He was sleeping soundly before
I went to check on everyone.” Ezra lowers himself to the sofa, patiently waiting.
“I have to ask you something.” I lick my lips to moisten the suddenly dry flesh. “I need
ed guidance, so I paid a visit to Dexter.” I stop short when I notice that Ezra has left the building. Any resemblance between Ezra and Master Ez dissolves. They are truly separate and pissed.
“Guidance
in what area,” he hisses out.
“Dominance-” I hesitate when Ez fists the sofa cushion.
“You will no
t submit for anyone. I am your Master.” His voice is deadly low. He menacingly towers over me- looming.
“I need Dexter
to train me as a dominant. He said no for training me as a submissive,” I decide completely honest is the best way to deal with an enraged alpha male. Ezra visibly relaxes, and then retakes his seat on the sofa.
“I asked Dexter to point out exactly what
the submissive is doing right or wrong, so I can learn by example,” I try to appease Ezra.
“Why can’t I or Cortez train you?”
He’s still Master Ez, but Ezra is lurking in the depths of his eyes. I’m not saying he is two separate personalities, but he pulls out traits to deal with certain situations. Master Ez must be for when he’s angry.
“I can’t explain it. It’s like you guys are too close to me. I don’t want to disappoint you
, and I know I will. I won’t be able to relax and learn if I feel like it will affect how you see me.” I try to put my fear into words, but I’m not entirely sure I did.
“Fine, but y
ou have a decision to make.” Ezra’s eyes glow at me. His fist stays locked on the sofa cushion. It’s as if he’s restraining himself.
“What decision,” I rasp out, throat going dry with nervousness.
“I need to connect with you right now,” he bites out. “Either you pick a place and an activity or I will take you here on this couch.” Ezra’s intensity is frightening. Every muscle in his body is taut, coiled for attack.
“I said no sex,” I gulp out.
“We just got off in the hallway.”
“And I don’t care,” he
flatly says. “I don’t need downtime to go again. I’m ready right now,” he threatens, cupping his package through his pajama pants.
“That would be force. You wouldn’t do that.” I stare at him wide
-eyed. He looks back at me with a feral expression- neither Ezra nor Ez- animal.
“I’ve raped you before. Once you’ve crossed that line
, it is easy to revisit,” he pants out. His breath saws in and out of his lungs, rapidly moving his chest. “Your choice or my choice, you have a few minutes before I unleash my nature. I can’t hold out much longer, Katya.” His voice is strained.
“Your nature,” I snort at him. “What happened to your views on nurture,” I tease.
His expression is rabid. I’m playing with fire. “What happened? This is just because I asked about Dexter. I’m not taking him as my Master. I don’t like how you’re acting right now. You’re off kilter.”
“I know that
, but sometimes the part of me that is Ez doesn’t care. He wants to mark his territory. The second you said Dexter’s name it took everything in me not to rape you or kill him. You may forgive me for taking you, but Dexter wouldn’t be around to forgive me. Logically, I know that he trained me and would be an excellent teacher for you. But Master Ez is not logical.”
“I’m confused. You were okay with Aaron having sex with me. What is the difference?”
My face scrunches up as I try to figure out where this possession is coming from and why Ezra keeps talking of himself in the third person.
“I gave you to Aaron
,” he confesses.
“What?” Even in light of the fact that Ezra just admitted to wanting to rape and murder, his statement of giving me away hurt
s. It makes me feel like a toy he’s loaning out to a friend. You don’t loan out what you really want to possess.
“I gave both of you permission.
If you had said no, that was fine, too. In the end, it was your choice to be with him. Aaron had expressed a need to connect with you, and I thought it would heal you both. You needed to know what it was like to have sex with a friend. I may give Dexter privileges in the future, but that is my decision to make.” Ezra rolls his head on his shoulders and flexes his clenched fingers. “Make a choice, Katya, you’re running out of time,” his deep voice growls.
“We can share a bed… and
sleep. Is that okay? It doesn’t have to be sexual does it?” I quickly say before he snaps.
My mind hits clarity
, thinking up ways to calm Ezra, as my body ignites at the thought of being violently taken on the sofa. I shudder at the visual that plays out in my head, a feral Ezra pounding into me as I scream. A moan involuntarily bubbles up my throat.
“Yes, we can do tha
t.” Ezra sounds and looks calmer, but his eyes note my reaction. My fantasy bubble pops. He looks at me like he read my mind. “Someday we will play that game, but only after you agree that I may love you as I’m meant to.”
Huh? I shake my head to clear it. I’m simultaneo
usly relieved and disappointed.
Ezra
directs me to another room I’ve never been in. “This isn’t your bedroom?” I grumble, confused. It’s a large room at the end of the hall. We enter, and it’s dark with no filtered light. I can’t even see my fingers when I put them in front of my eyes.
“No,
this is my bedroom. I don’t sleep in that other room. It has different purposes. I always sleep here,” he matter-of-factly says. “Get undressed and get into bed,” he commands. I can hear the rustle of clothing and the sheets. “This was your choice. I can always do the other one,” he menacingly threatens.
I quickly strip
, and then feel my way to the bed. Ezra lifts me on the bed and places me. I squeak out a very girly sound when a warm body encloses me from the side.
“Don’t be scared,
it’s just me,” Cortez says as he snuggles against me. “Mmm… someone smells like sex. Have you been fucking our Ezra, Kitten?” Cort purrs.
“
No,” I badly deny. “I… you sleep together?” I stammer out, trying to change the subject, since Cort’s exquisiteness is cradled in the cleft of my ass cheeks. I whimper because it feels so damned good and right. I let my conscious rule me, and behave.
“Since the crib.
It’s a hard habit to break,” Ezra says as he cuddles up to me, engulfing both me and Cortez. My face is pressed against Ezra’s warm chest. Ezra and Cort’s scents mingle and fill my system, heady, the strongest drug for someone addicted to the Ezes.
“Go to sleep, Katya. If you stay awake
, I may change my mind. I will break your no sex rule for both of us. You haven’t had Cortez yet,” Ezra manages to tease and taunt me simultaneously. His suggestion doesn’t scare me. A thrill flashes through my body, igniting me, making it impossible to sleep. Cort throbs against my ass, making the ache worse.
I lick my lips, the sound ricocheting around the dark room.
“Does Aaron sleep with you, too?”
“No,” they
simultaneously say.
“Why not?”
I grumble.
“It’s not like that with us. Aaron
has some hero worship going on with me. He doesn’t actually like playing with us. That’s why it is important that he and Kayla connect.” Ezra buries his face in my hair and sighs.
“You guys have sex with him
, though,” I say in confusion. Cortez chuckles against the nape of my neck. He shifts his hips because he was enjoying himself way too much back there. Cort’s hands rub up and down my arms, comforting me.
“Not as often as you’d think, and never with Cort. It’
s like asking for punishment. Aaron asks every couple of months. Once we went three years without any sexual contact. He’s not gay, and he doesn’t like any sexual contact with men. I didn’t enjoy dominating him, either. Aaron was just confused, and now he’s not. And I am extremely thankful that we can move on from that part of our past.”
“So it’s like that for yo
u and Cortez,” I say to Ezra.
“No,” they say in unison.
“It’s about who you’re attracted to and who you love. I’ve never willingly been with another man. Ezra isn’t so particular,” Cortez says into my ear, resentment thick in his voice. Our conversation from earlier this evening pops into my thoughts. Cort kept talking of Ezra’s betrayals.
“Hey, now,” Ez murmurs to Cort, his hand reaching out to soothe Cort’s hurt feelings. “
I’ve only enjoyed one other man’s company. Don’t get jealous,” Ezra grumbles.
“Do you consider yourself gay or bisexual?”
I don’t know why their dynamic intrigues me. They are a puzzle I want to sort out and solve.
“No, I love woman,” Cort denies
, but a tension runs through Ezra’s body when Cort rejects him. “Ezra and I are partners for life, nothing will ever change that.” I’m not sure why, but that comment hurt. I’ve never felt as if I could be an equal in their group, but knowing that even Aaron is less in their eyes, lessens any chance I had. It just hurts. I can’t compete with their history.
“You w
ere lovers before-” I trail off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.
“Yes, before the M
onster changed all of our lives. Yes, we were lovers. And I considered myself gay. We made a sport out of experimenting since we could walk.” Ezra laughs in my ear.
“How can you d
o what we just did then?” I defensively ask. I feel like I should be apologizing to Ezra for allowing him to sexually touch me. But then again, I have so many things to apologize for when it comes to my moment of weakness… so many things.
“I can’t explain it, other than by saying that I was different before.
I… I had some problems earlier in my life that messed with my way of thinking. The part of me that I call Master Ez, he prefers women. I’m maybe a bit more gay than bi, but I do like girls… and I especially like you,” Ezra presses into me to prove his point.
I’m sandwiched between them both. Cort fused to my back and Ezra to my front. I don
’t want to enjoy it, but I do. The one emotion that I’m surprised to feel, is safe. I feel safe and content in their arms.
“
Why do you have wives and fiancées? Why do you live here and not with them? Why am I in your bed and they aren’t?” The questions keep firing as I work myself up. “Why isn’t it just the two of you?”
“That is C
ortez’s story to tell, not mine,” Ezra murmurs.
“And I’m too tired to tell it
right now. I’ll tell you tomorrow,” Cortez says as he snuggles in tighter. A few seconds later, his breathing changes, it evens out as he drifts off to sleep.
“Thank you for sleeping with us,” Ezra breathes against my neck. “We will sleep better kn
owing you’re safe in our arms. Until the morning, my Katya.”
“Good night, Ezra,” I mumble, my mind a stew of confusion.