Unlovable (12 page)

“
Psst.” I ignored him.
“Psst,” he said again. He motioned for me to lean toward him and I
wondered what bit of torture he had in mind for me next. He reached
for my face, and with his thumb slowly caressed my bottom lip,
stealing my breath away. He popped his thumb into his mouth and
licked it, sending the blood coursing through my veins at an
inhuman speed. He mouthed the words, “Cream cheese,” which,
thankfully, helped me to regain my composure. I mouthed back,
“Annoying,” and turned away. Out of my peripheral vision, I could
see him silently laughing.

“
Good morning, my fellow
humans.”
Oh. My. Gosh. Dr. Bore is such a
nerd
! “It has been brought to my attention
by one of your classmates,” Bore said, grinning at Melody, “that
the syllabus for this course has a typo. It states you are to do
either ten hours of community service, or
a
ten-page paper on community service. However, it should read
a 25 page paper on community
service
, not ten.” The class, myself
included, let out a collective groan. Where was I going to find the
time to do a 25-page paper? Leaving my mom alone for long periods
was difficult, it was too easy for her to get hurt, even going to
school some days were a challenge. It was why I hadn’t taken an
after-school job, though we certainly could use the money. I
brought the idea up to her once, but she forbade it, saying I had
responsibilities at home and she wasn’t going to pick up my slack,
as if that was ever going to happen.

I was still brooding over the news
when class ended. Gathering up my belongings, I moped silently to
Seth’s car, hoping CaL would cheer me up.

“
You’re not upset over the
whole cream cheese thing are you?”

“
What?”

“
You know, back in Snore’s
class. Are you still angry with me?”

“
I was never angry, just
annoyed.” His comment jogged my memory back to yesterday and the
whole Hillary incident. “Did you know your endless flirting almost
got me killed yesterday?”

“
Killed?”

“
Okay, maybe that’s an
exaggeration. Hillary cornered me in the bathroom and told me to
stay away from you. She said you were hers, and then she tried to
punch me in the face, twice! If Mrs. Volkel hadn’t walked in, who
knows what she might have done.”

“
Cheerleaders don’t punch
people. Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand her?”

I pulled up the sleeve of my sweater,
showing him the huge bruise on my forearm where I had deflected one
of her blows.

His eyes focused on the mark. “I made
it clear to her we were just friends, and she agreed saying she
didn’t want to be tied down her last year in high school. Does it
hurt?” He gently caressed the undamaged skin around the
bruise.

“
Maybe if you didn’t flirt
all the time girls would actually believe it when you say you only
want to be friends.”

We pulled into the elementary school
parking lot before he spoke again. “I don’t flirt unless I mean it,
Maggie, and despite what you think of me, I don’t lead girls
on.”

“
So the whole cream cheese
incident back in Dr. Bore’s class was a misunderstanding and not
flirting?” I couldn’t understand why I always overreacted to him, I
was usually pretty easygoing. I hated confrontation. It’s just that
he made me nervous, and I found myself snapping at every little
thing he did.

He opened my door and stood there,
close, making it difficult for me to get out. I slid halfway
between him and the car and stopped, unable to move any further. He
stood firm, looking me dead in the eyes. It was a bit unnerving to
say the least. His eyes dropped to my mouth, and I thought for a
moment he might kiss me. Instead, he shook his head and went into
the building leaving me to follow.

Mrs. Mathews suggested we play games
with the kids, and they decided on hide-and-seek. Seth and I had a
difficult time finding hiding places given that we were
significantly taller than a bunch of first graders. After an
exceptionally long seeking turn, I recommended we play something
else.

“
No, Miss Maggie,” Elise
said, bouncing up and down on her toes. “One more time, please.”
Her request took me by surprise since she and a few of the other
children were talking during the last two rounds of the game
instead of participating. Soon all the kids joined her in chanting
“one more time” and jumping up and down. Seth, being Seth, joined
them, looking silly in a cute kind of way as he bounced about, I
had to laugh.

“
Okay, as long as you three
hide this time,” I said, pointing to Elise and her little
posse.

I was met with a
resounding
yeah
from thirty first graders and one hot twelfth grader. Harrison
started counting as Noah led Seth to the other side of the room. He
sounded excited as he explained how he’d found the perfect hiding
spot.

“
Miss Maggie, you can hide
in here.” Elise dragged me to a closet I hadn’t noticed before and
stuffed me inside.

It held stacks of colored paper and
various craft supplies, along with an over-sized easel. “There’s
enough room for the two of us,” I said, squishing over to the side.
There wasn’t much room, though certainly enough for a first
grader.

She giggled. “I’m afraid of the dark.”
She giggled again and shut the door. A few moments later the door
popped open, and Seth was forced into the closet next to me. The
door slammed shut. Seth and I were face to face, neither of us able
to move. He laughed softly.

“
I’m glad you think this is
funny, however, you’re standing on my foot.” I bumped against his
incredibly muscular chest and immediately wished I hadn’t touched
him. I needed to get out, fast, and began searching for the
doorknob.

“
You’re wasting your time,
they’ve locked the door.”

I found the brass knob and jerked it
franticly. It wouldn’t budge. I was about to demand that they
unlock the door, when Seth’s fingers fell softly across my lips.
“Shhh, listen.” His warm breath caressed my cheek. “Can you hear
them? They’re right outside the door.”

I pulled my mouth away from
his fingers. “I don’t hear a thing.”
And I
really have to get out of here.

“
They want to know if we’ve
kissed yet, especially Elise, she’s quite the romantic.” Seth was
clearly amused by our predicament. “We shouldn’t disappoint them,
they are young.” I felt his hands steal around my face, with his
mouth so close to mine I could almost taste him.

“
Kiss me, Maggie.” He ran a
thumb slowly across my lips, and repeated, “Kiss me.” His lips were
a fraction from mine, his voice a mere whisper. I held my breath,
trying fruitlessly to control myself, only the desire was too
strong. No matter how hard I fought it, I wanted to kiss him. The
thought of feeling his warm mouth on mine again was
over-powering.

I give up!
I started leaning into him
–

“
Children, where are Mr.
Seth and Miss Maggie?” Mrs. Mathew’s voice disrupted my incoherent
thoughts. Seth immediately let go of my face as the kids ratted
each other out on the other side of the door.

“
Elise and Noah locked ’em
in the closet ’cuz they wanted ’em to kiss.” Zane began tattling,
with several others chiming in.

“
Oh my goodness! Where’s the
key?” A few seconds later, the lock rattled and the door flew open.
I was the first one out.

“
Are you two alright?” We
both nodded. “Are you sure? Maggie, your face is quite red.” Seth’s
face lit up in a wide grin.
Not a flirt.
HA
!

“
I’m fine, just a little
warm, that’s all,” I said, smoothing my hair.

“
Children, you need to
apologize this minute, and if you ever do that again we will not
have the visiting teachers come back here.” The children quickly
apologized, as did Mrs. Mathews once more.

“
Will you read to us?” asked
Zane.

“
Our time is up. Sorry, we
have to go,” Seth said, disappointment filling their faces. “The
next time we come we’ll do some reading, okay?”

“
If you hadn’t locked them
in the closet, we may have had time for a story.” Mrs. Mathews gave
Elise and her little group a stern look. Elise ran up to Seth,
whispering something to him.

“
No, I did try though,” he
said. Knowing precisely what she had asked him, I stormed off to
wait at the car.

“
That’s exactly what I was
talking about earlier.” I said as he crossed the parking lot behind
me.

“
Sorry, you’ve lost me.” We
were driving out of the lot before I could compose myself enough to
speak without becoming angry.

“
Before we went inside you
said girls misunderstand what you say.”

“
True.”

“
Kiss me?” I quoted him, my
voice dripping in sarcasm.

“
Right this minute? I don’t
think it’s a good idea since I’m driving. Would you like me to pull
over, or can you wait till we’re back at school?” His twisted grin
was more than I could take.

“
There, you did it again.
That’s flirting!” I folded my arms in triumph. “That’s why Hillary
thinks you two are an item.”

“
Yes, that was flirting.
However, I want to kiss you. I don’t want to kiss her.”

He wasn’t serious, was he? No, I
decided, just more of his flirting.

“
How is Hillary supposed to
know you’re teasing when you talk to her like that?”

“
I told you already, I don’t
flirt with her, I only flirt with you.” He looked at me without a
hint of a smile. Why was he saying these things?

Because guys like him, only
play with girls like you
. I could see
Hillary in the bathroom glaring at me in her condescending way as
she said those exact words yesterday.

“
I know I’m not the type of
girl you like to date, so you can save your games for Hillary. I
won’t be used.” My voice shook with anger. He pulled the car into
the school parking lot, slamming hard on the brakes.

“
I don’t like being accused
of something I haven’t done.” He was livid. His eyes were an eerie
shade of green, though still completely hot. “Maybe the other guys
in your life are after one thing, but I’m not.”

“
What other guys?” What
exactly was he implying with that statement?

“
Zack?” He was a little
behind the times, I didn’t bother correcting him. I climbed out of
the car and slammed the door shut; so did he. “You’ve cut every guy
out of your life for the actions of one moron.” He turned and
practically vaporized across the parking lot. I followed, running
to keep up.

“
Why should I give up on my
dreams for some guy? Just because I don’t have money and live in a
trailer doesn’t mean guys can take whatever they want from me. Like
I said, I won’t be used.”

“
I’m not trying to use you,
Maggie, and for your information I do understand how you
feel.”

“
Yeah, I’ll bet it’s rough
going through life good looking, rich, and popular. I’ll bet you
hate waking up in the morning knowing there’ll be a ton of people
whom you know you can trust, and who are glad you exist. How do you
manage?”

Softness permeated his eyes, and he
reached out to brush some loose hair from my face. “It’s not as
great as you think, Maggie, never knowing if someone only likes you
because you’re popular, or if they’re a real friend, especially
after they learn you have money.”

The bell rang in the distance. I
turned and quietly walked to my next class, leaving Seth standing
there as it began to snow. I felt ashamed. Except for his
relentless flirting, he really was a nice guy, I should have calmly
told him his flirting bothered me. Why did I have to be such a
jerk?

Once at home, I hopped into the shower
to warm up. The cold had permeated to my core and the hot water
felt good as it slowly thawed my body. I leaned back against the
shower wall, letting the drops bathe my face. The hot water also
melted my cold heart.

I’m a mean, cruel person
who doesn’t deserve love
.

7

“
My head is killing me!” I
slammed my hand down onto the alarm clock, silencing the hideous
ring as the memory of last night rolled over me.

I’d cried myself to sleep.

Dragging my pounding head gingerly out
of bed, I took a couple of aspirin before pouring a bowl of
Cheerio’s and eating it dry.

Forty-five minutes later, I muttered a
goodbye to my mother, which she ignored as she made her way into
the bathroom undoubtedly seeking aspirin for her
hangover.

We had an ice storm sometime during
the night and the snow was shrouded in a good quarter-inch of ice.
It looked as if God had coated the earth, including each and every
tree branch, with a sparkly glaze. It was beautiful. More
importantly, it meant the snow would be frozen solid, and my feet
wouldn’t get wet walking to school.