Unlovable (34 page)

His warm hands covered mine gently,
and I looked up. “No, Maggie, I don’t believe for a minute that
your mom has been doing illegal drugs. Her problem is alcohol, I’m
sure of it. And yes, to answer your next question, I’ve told both
Booker and Seth my opinion this morning.”

“
Thanks,” I said
softly. 

“
Is there anything I can do
to help you?”

“
Why do I need help?” I
said, pulling my hands out from under his.

“
Do you have a support
system in place if things don’t go well? Are you part of any
support groups?”

“
I’ll be fine, I don’t need
anyone,” I said, shooting out my chin in a stubborn
stance.

He lowered his voice. “Maggie, I know
Seth should have—”

“
Is there anything else, Dr.
Colter?” I stood up and slid my chair under the table.

“
No, that’s everything for
now.” He exhaled loudly. “Would you be more comfortable if handed
her case over to my associate, Dr. Taylor?”

I looked at him, searching his gentle
features. “No, I’d like you to stay on as her doctor,” I said
softly.

“
As you wish.” He gave a
quick nod, handed me the boxed-up leftovers and left without
another word. I raced back to my mother’s room, noting how peaceful
she looked lying there.

“
I love you, mom, don’t give
up.” I stayed with her as long as I dared. With the sun hanging
dangerously low in the sky, I left but didn’t get far before a
patrol car pulled up alongside me once again.

“
You must have a death wish,
Jailbait,” Booker said, clearly exasperated. “Get in, I’ll take you
home.”

“
No, thank you. I’m in no
mood to be lectured about… him.” I also didn’t care for his little
nickname for me, but that would be a battle for another
day.

His mouth twisted into a
wicked grin. “If I promise not to bring up
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
, will you
get in?”

Did he really think his stupid joke
was funny? I shook my head defiantly. “Fine, I’ll arrest you.” He
slammed the car into park, and was next to me before I could take
another step. He took my arm, dragging me toward the
car.

“
What am I being charged
with?” I pulled my arm out of his grip, proud of the fact that I
didn’t punch him because part of me sure wanted to.

“
Hmm, let me think. How
about loitering and resisting arrest?”

“
Loitering? I’m walking
home, how is that loitering?”

“
I’ve been a cop for a long
time, Maggie. I can come up with something.”

“
That would be lying, and no
one will believe you.”

“
Are you serious? I have a
stellar reputation on the force, and you’re a teenager. Whom do you
think they’ll believe?”

“
Fine.” I bit out. “You can
take me home, except no lectures.”

“
Fine.” He smiled politely
and opened the door for me as if he were a gentleman. I put on my
seatbelt, sitting as close to the door as possible. He chuckled
low.

True to his word, he never mentioned
Seth once. After dropping me off, he waited until I went inside
again before leaving. I warmed up the leftovers from the cafe as my
mind struggled with the stupid choices I’d made over the past
week.

25

“
Hi, Maggie.” It was Dwayne,
my new cooking buddy. Seth had transferred out of all the classes
we’d shared. At first I was relieved, now I wasn’t so
sure.

“
Hey, Dwayne, what are we
cooking today?” I had eaten the last of the peanut butter and bread
for breakfast, and had no idea what I was going to do now that my
money was gone. My mother’s social security check would not be here
for another five days, and the dizziness and hunger headaches were
back with a vengeance.

“
I don’t know, and by the
way, you look awful.”

I felt awful, not having slept well in
I don’t know how long. If I wasn’t dreaming about my mother and the
possible liver transplant, I was dreaming about Seth.

When I’d first learned he was a cop,
my dreams were of him trying to hunt me down and shoot me. For the
past two days, the dreams were of him kissing me. The kisses were
so real I’d wake up in the middle of the night with an ache in my
heart. Booker’s words were still haunting me also, I was beginning
to think I had overreacted to everything… big time.

Seth was an MET agent, and for some
reason my mom was suspected of doing drugs, he really didn’t have a
choice. Still, knowing that, and not letting it hurt me, was two
different matters.

Time to change the subject. “I
overheard Melody say you liked the new girl, Allison.” I
smiled.

“
Allison? Leave it to Melody
to get it wrong. I hope Karen didn’t hear that.” He looked
worried.

“
Karen, as in cheerleader,
Karen?’

He blushed. “Yeah.”

“
Does she know you like
her?”

“
No, but I said hi to her in
the hallway yesterday.” He actually seemed proud of his mediocre
achievement.

“
Dwayne, at this rate it
will be the middle of summer 2018 before you ask her out.” He
dropped his head back and groaned. “Hey, did you know there’s a Pep
rally on Thursday? Karen will be cheering at it. You should go,
maybe you could ask her out while you’re there.”

“
Oh, Maggie, you don’t
understand what I’m like when she’s around. My palms get all
sweaty, and my heart pounds so loudly in my ears I can barely hear!
What if she says no?” He threw his arms across the desk and plopped
his head down onto them. Poor guy!

Suddenly, he sprung back up. “Wait, I
have an idea. You can go with me to the pep rally, that way if she
turns me down, I won’t look like a total loser.”

“
I’m not following
you.”

“
If we’re there, you know,
just a couple of friends hanging out together, I can act all casual
when we see her, like, 'Hey, Karen, how’s it going?' Then I could
say something like, 'Do you want to go out for ice cream some
time?' She’ll think I’m just a friendly guy, no big deal. But if
I’m there all alone, she’ll think I’m a total loser that no one
wants to date, and that I’m desperate, then she won’t want to go
out with me.”

I couldn’t follow his convoluted logic
whatsoever, I also had no idea guys put so much thought into asking
a girl out. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch. “Sure, if you
think it will work.” I certainly didn’t think it would.

“
Thanks,” he said, with a
sigh of relief. “You’re amazing, no wonder Seth’s miserable without
you.” Dwayne turned to look up at the teacher as she gave
instructions for today’s cooking lesson, lasagna.

Walking home with the leftover food,
my thoughts were again on Seth. If he didn’t really care, then why
had he told me repeatedly that he loved me? He must have cared
somewhat, he was a good guy, he wouldn’t purposely hurt me. I
suddenly got the feeling that maybe I’d just blown the best thing
that ever happened to me. I was now as confused as I was listening
to Dwayne and his crazy dating scenario.

There was a soft breeze blowing as I
walked to school the next morning. It was warm and smelled of
spring Hyacinths as it rolled around me and twisted through my
hair. In my preoccupation with the breeze, I didn’t hear Fluffy
bounding up the street until he stopped in front of me, barking his
soprano bark.

“
Fluffy, where have you
been?” I scooped him up, and he let out a small groan of excitement
as he bounced around in my arms trying to lick my face.

“
I’ve missed you, have you
been hanging out at Gertie’s house irritating her possessed cat?”
He barked once, clearly a yes. “I have to go to school, you’d
better go back to Gertie’s.” I gave him a quick peck on the head
and went to set him down when I spotted a $100 bill clipped to his
collar. I looked around fully expecting to see Seth, but instead
saw a patrol car parked at the corner. I stomped over to the car
with Fluffy still in my arms and handed Booker the
money.

“
Maggie, you know I could
arrest you for bribery, right?” He had a smirk on his lips as he
eyeballed Fluffy.

“
I don’t want this, and I
know you put it there.”

“
No, you’re quite wrong, I
had nothing to do with it,” he said, rather smugly. “Did you ever
get this scruffy fur-ball neutered?” He reached out to stroke
Fluffy on the head, who turned and snapped at him.

“
Good boy, Fluffy.” I gave
him a squeeze.

“
Fluffy?” he said laughing
loudly. “You named him Fluffy?”

I ignored him and turned back to the
matter at hand. He may not have planted the money on the dog, but
he knew who did. I knew who did.

“
You can turn this money
over to the lost and found at the police station.” I grinned
smartly.

“
What a fine, upstanding
citizen you are, Maggie. Get in.” He jumped out of his car and held
open the back door.

“
What? I’m not trying to
bribe you, I want you to turn this over to the lost and found.” I
didn’t have time for this. Mr. Googolo was giving a huge Calculus
test, and he didn’t allow make up tests.

“
Yes, I know, except there’s
an enormous amount of paperwork involved when filing a lost and
found report. It could take hours, all for a $100 you and I both
know will never be claimed,” he purred sweetly.

“
OH!” Frustrated, I stuffed
the money in my pocket and started for school, forgetting the dog
was still in my arms.

“
Maggie, hand me the dog,
you can’t take him to school with you. I’ll run him back over to
your house.” He reached out for Fluffy, and I pulled the dog
protectively behind me.

“
If I promise not to roast
him over an open fire and eat him for lunch will you give him to
me?” he said with a sincere expression on his face. “Though I may
have him neutered. Do you know how many stray dogs and cats are
running around? We could solve a huge portion of the problem with a
simple snip snip of the scissors.” Fluffy barked loudly at Booker,
jumped out of my arms, and ran back toward my house. Booker
chuckled.

“
Smart little dog you have
there, Maggie. Good luck with your Calculus test,” he yelled after
me. How did he know about …? Lousy cops!

The whole incident cost me precious
minutes, and I now had to run to avoid being late for class. Mr.
Googolo was closing the door as I arrived.

“
Perfect timing, Miss Brown,
you’re lucky I forgot about shutting the door, someone must be
watching out for you. Hurry, take your seat.” Still breathing hard,
it took a few minutes before I could concentrate enough to begin
the test. Overall, I think I did fairly well, I wasn’t the first
one done, or the last.

I bought lunch from the cafeteria for
the first time ever, Seth had always insisted cafeteria food wasn’t
real food. I couldn’t believe the different choices there were. I
bought two slices of pizza; it tasted pretty good for not being
real food. I wrapped the second slice in a napkin for later and
slipped it in my book bag as Zack sank onto the chair next to
me.

“
Aw! Let me guess. You’re
saving that for the stupid mutt hanging around your
trailer.”

“
Go away. And he’s not a
stupid mutt. He’s got more class in one paw than you have in your
entire body!” I pushed passed him and darted into the hall,
stuffing the last
too big
bite of pizza into my mouth. Unfortunately, he
followed me, and even more unfortunately, we ran into Seth and a
pimply-faced tenth grader named Scott. My heart flipped over in my
chest. I forced the oversized bite painfully down my throat, trying
not to choke.

“
Are you going to the pep
rally on Thursday?” Ignoring Zack’s question, I tried swallowing
some spit to force down the pizza wedged in my throat. “Maggie, do
you want to go together?”

He must be on
drugs.

I glared at him, and with my finally
clear throat, announced, “I have a date.” I turned to leave when he
caught my arm, jerking me back. Seth turned around as I yanked my
arm away from Zack.

“
With whom?” Zack asked in a
condescending tone.

“
Dwayne Wrights.”

“
You’re going to the pep
rally with Dwayne?” My stomach quivered at the sound of Seth’s
voice.

“
He’s a nice guy, what’s
wrong with that?”

Seth let out a short laugh. “Not a
thing, I think Dwayne’s a great guy.” I turned and left before he
could say anything else, though I did hear him mumble something
about a frying pan and fire.

By the time Thursday came, my stress
level was through the roof. There was no improvement in my mother,
if anything her condition had worsened, and sorrow dominated my
heart, the idea of going to a pep rally pretending to be peppy was
overwhelming. If Dwayne hadn’t been so excited, I’d have
canceled.

Thanks to the nice weather, they held
the rally outdoors, a refreshing change from the smelly gym. Dwayne
insisted we sit high up in the football bleachers, probably wanting
as much space between him and Karen as possible. I could see the
rest of the student body seated below us, including, to my
surprise, Seth. He sat about ten rows up from the field. We’d never
gone to a pep rally while we dated, he must have gotten a new
assignment. I looked around to see if any of the kids who were
rumored to be using drugs were sitting near him.