Unlovable (3 page)

I thought of the look on
Hillary’s face if she were to see me in Seth’s car.
Priceless.
I
quickly doused the daydream. “No, thanks.” The
idea of trying to make conversation with Mr. Tall and Yummy, even
if only for five minutes, was more than I could handle this early
in the morning. I’d rather walk. He let out a rush of air as if he
had been holding his breath and drove away.

Crossing the school parking
lot a short time later, my
ex
-boyfriend Zack Finkle cruised by
in his rusted-out Chevy something or other. I quickly diverted my
gaze to the ground. He honked his horn, or rather
playe
d his horn in his
search for a parking spot, all the while primping his spiky blond
hair. Some goofy tune bellowed out of the car, and he gave his
engine a punch of gas as he shifted gears. For some unknown reason
I waved, though I had to wrestle back a sneer. He smiled and winked
one of his dull gray eyes. Sick! We broke up after dating for two
months. He insisted we sleep together, I insisted we
didn’t.

I won.

Weaving my way through the last row of
cars, I was nearly plowed down by a bright yellow Mini Cooper
driven by none other than Hillary Jeffers: cheerleader, beautiful,
perfect in every way. Perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect clothes,
and perfect pom-poms. She barely glanced in my direction. No
surprise, she rarely acknowledged my existence. It worked for
me.

Naturally, Zack had a thing
for her, but Hillary only had eyes for Seth—and who could blame
her—even still, I had no doubt Zack would have her one day, he was
a devious little worm. His family had considerable power in the
community, which meant they hung out in all the
right
circles. Regardless of her lust
for Seth, Hillary lusted after power and money even more. Zack was
just her speed.

I entered the main building via the
gym door and went straight to my locker, running into Karen Mayes
on the way. She was yet another tall gorgeous cheerleader, but
Karen was Hillary’s opposite–she was nice. She looked toasty warm
in her long, red sweater and black leggings.

“
Hi, Maggie, did you have a
good Christmas?” Her smile sparkled against her clear ebony skin,
as did the shiny white headband in her hair.

“
Yes, how about
you?”

“
Great. My family and I
went skiing in Utah for a week. It was awesome. Have you ever been
there?”

“
No,” nor had I ever been
skiing. After fighting with my locker combination a few times, I
opened the door and shoved my extra books inside.

Karen carefully slipped her pom-poms
in behind my books and gently shut the door. Her locker was jammed
fully of cheer paraphernalia, leaving little room for the blue and
gold streamers. I let her keep them in mine.

“
I appreciate you letting
me use your locker. I guess it’s silly to be this fussy over
pom-poms, it’s just that some of the other girls get rather nasty
if they don’t look perfect.” Undoubtedly, she meant Hillary. “Did
you get anything fun for Christmas?”

“
Oh, you know the same old
boring thing.” Nothing.

“
Yes, but those boring
Christmases make the big Christmases even better, don’t you think?”
She then lowered her voice. “Guess what? I got an email from Mrs.
Connor over break. I’m getting a B!”

I’d been helping her study for her
English Lit class during the lunch hour. She was getting a D, and
would have been suspended from the cheer team if she couldn’t bring
it up to a C.

“
That’s great!”

“
Thanks for the help. I
lost track of how many lunches you skipped to help me.”

Not many really, it’s not as if I
brought lunch very often.

“
Hey, I have an extra
donut. Do you want it?” She wiggled a tan sack at me. “It won’t
make up for all the lunches you missed, but it’s a
start.”

“
Are you sure?” I tried to
sound casual despite the fact I was starving.

“
Positive.” She handed me a
glazed doughnut from a small sack. “See ya later.”

“
Thanks.” I eagerly stuffed
the doughnut into my mouth. It tasted wonderful. Of course hungry
as I was, cardboard would have tasted wonderful. After licking the
last of the icing off my fingers, I made my way over to my first
class of the day, Modern Mythology.

Port Fare High divided the classes up
into 90-minute blocks. Each class was taught every other day, a
plus for me since I hated math.

On the other hand, it could be
extremely painful if you had a dull teacher. Case in point, the
Modern Mythology teacher, Dr. Bore. Or as he was known amongst the
student body: Bore the Snore. Not only was he a complete bore, but
he was also a bit bizarre.

The self-proclaimed nonconformist was
a thin, scrawny man, with a feeble gray beard. It matched the
straggly gray hair he kept tied back in a ponytail via a thin
leather strap. He wore collarless shirts, and because the school
policy stated male teachers had to wear a tie, he kept one draped
about his neck, untied. He wore sandals every day. Nothing, neither
rain, nor sleet, not even snow could keep him from wearing his
silly Birkenstocks. If that wasn’t bad enough, a weird odor hung on
him all the time. I did my best to avoid standing too close to
him.

His five or six minions sat in the
front desks soaking up every word he had to say, while the rest of
the class battled sleep. My favorite spot was the far right corner
of the room where I could sit unnoticed. Before class started, I
dropped into my usual desk and began doodling in my notebook,
immediately becoming lost in my thoughts. So lost, I didn’t notice
who sat down next to me.

“
Hello, again.” I
immediately recognized the deep warm voice and turned to look into
Seth’s delicious eyes. He had on a long-sleeved, yellow striped
polo and a pair of well-worn Levis. I glanced about to see who he
was talking to, only to discover there wasn’t anyone else
around.

“
Hi?” Not meaning for it to
sound like a question, I blushed.

“
Maggie Brown, right?” I
nodded cautiously at him. “Where do you live?”

Why did he want to know that? “Why?” I
sounded rude, which wasn’t my intent. Maybe I should stick to
nodding. My hand sprung to a strand of limp hair that had escaped
from my rubber band, and I was about to begin twirling the hairs
back and forth between my first two fingers, an anxious habit of
mine, but thankfully, I caught myself and quickly dropped my hand
back down.

“
I noticed you were walking
to school today and it’s pretty cold out. Would you like a ride in
the mornings? My house is over on Ivy Circle, do you live near
there?”

Where else would this beautiful being
live except for on the rich side of town. “Sorry, I live off Main
Street, by Applegate Park. Thanks anyway.”

He reached over and tucked the limp
strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers felt warm as they brushed
against the jaw of my still cold face and it forced another shiver
down my back.

“
It’s not that far out of my
way. If you’d like, I can pick you up,” he said with a
smile.

My first instinct was to wonder why he
was being so kind. What did he want? True, I had seen him around
school, but we’d never hung out, let alone had a
conversation.

“
I’m trying to get in shape
for track team tryouts in the spring.” Okay, that was a shameless
lie. “Thanks anyway.” He looked as if he was about to insist, when
Hillary appeared out of nowhere, wrapping her arms about his neck.
She was wearing a pink mini skirt and white blouse. How she was
staying warm was a mystery to me.

“
Good morning, beautiful.”
Hillary smiled as he turned and stood. I briefly wondered if I
looked as mesmerized as she did when looking at him. “Will you help
me with the Mythology homework? You never called back last night,
naughty boy. Trying to avoid me?” She stuck out her bottom lip in a
pout and slid her arm around his waist.

“
Sorry, Hillary. I was busy
and forgot.”

“
I’ll forgive you if you
come over and help me before class starts.” She flashed him another
impish pout and turned to leave. He followed like a whipped puppy,
but not before he glanced back at me and mouthed, “We’ll talk
later.”

Okay, weird. I had no idea he even
knew my name. Apparently, Hillary had her hooks into him deep. She
whistles. He jumps. I wondered if a guy would ever care for me like
that. “Maybe if I was built like Hillary,” I mumbled under my
breath.

I was actually enjoying the single
life since breaking up with Zack. I had no one trying to force me
into compromising on things I wanted, or didn’t want.

While we were dating, Zack was
constantly trying to pressure me into trying alcohol. No thanks.
Living with an alcoholic all my life gave me ample cause to avoid
the stuff. He also tried getting me to smoke pot, which in my book
was the same as alcohol except more destructive.

However, his all-time favorite thing
was to try pressuring me into sex, with him. Ha! As if! A ripple of
disgust washed over me as I remembered his wet, sloppy kisses.
Since breaking up, I’d tried to figure out why I ever dated him in
the first place. Loneliness, I suppose. But now that I was free,
loneliness wasn’t so bad. I was independent and enjoying it
immensely. I vowed never again to have a boyfriend hanging around
me like a noose. I was a liberated woman who didn’t need a boy to
be happy.

Dr. Bore droned on and on, it felt as
if class would never end. To break up the agony, I pulled out my
new class schedule and verified the changes. Everything was pretty
much the same as last semester, except I added a fourth period
Culinary class and had to switch my Community at Large class to
second period.

Community at Large, or CaL, was my
favorite class. Students from the high school drove over to Hunter
Hills, the local elementary school, and assisted the teacher in the
classroom for an hour with various activities. I worked with the
emotionally needy children. Over half the class was in foster care,
having been through unspeakable horrors already in their young
lives. CaL was the highlight of my day. Truthfully, it was more
like the highlight of my life. I felt more alive there than I did
anywhere else. I willingly gave those kids the real me I didn’t
trust to anyone else. It felt liberating, and truthfully, they did
more for me than I could possibly have done for them.

The bell rang, rousing me out of my
daydream. Since carpooling to the elementary school was mandatory,
I hurried toward the CaL classroom to find out who I was driving
with.

“
Hey, Maggie, how was your
Christmas break?”

Melody Winkmyer. We’d known each other
since the third grade though we rarely hung out. She was short,
maybe 5’2,” and had tons of short, curly brown hair. Her face was
always a bright red, as if she’d just run a marathon. She was also
a wizard on the lacrosse team. “Have you heard the latest?” Gossip,
Melody should have a PhD in it by now. To be sure, the girl knew
something about everyone. “Mark and Debbie broke up!”

That was news. They had been a couple
since tenth grade, and everyone assumed they’d get married after
high school. “Debbie and her family went on a cruise over Christmas
break, and she met some guy from Mexico. They’re
engaged!”

“
Not!”

“
Debbie told me herself. Her
parents are livid.” Melody’s cheeks were positively glowing with
excitement over the news. It made me uncomfortable.

“
How’s Mark doing?” I liked
Mark, he was a decent guy. This had to be difficult for
him.

“
Well, he’s not in school
today!” She smiled broadly. I was about to change the subject when
Hillary rushed past me. Seth was walking directly ahead of us, no
doubt she was trying to catch up to him.

Melody frowned. “Are those two still
an item?” Hillary reached Seth and looped her arm through his. She
proceeded to flip her long strawberry-blond hair, drawing attention
from every male within 100 yards. I had to pull my head back to
avoid being smacked in the face with it.

Her frown deepened and she whispered
loudly, “Never mind. Does he ever date regular people like
me?”

“
There are plenty of other
guys out there. Zack and I broke up.”

“
No thanks, he’s too
handsie.” So true. He had little respect for anyone’s personal
space especially if that someone were female.

“
I heard Seth keeps a comb
in his back pocket in case his precious hair dares to mess up,” she
again whispered loudly. I hoped he was too busy drooling over
Hillary to overhear her, though he’d have to be deaf not
to.

“
I also
heard he ducks into the bathroom between classes to check up on it.
Girls only like him because he’s hot, I’ll bet his personality
totally sucks.
And
did you know Hillary changed her schedule around
so they would be in all the same classes?”

“
I don’t know him very well,
he seems nice.” She rolled her eyes and accused me of having a
crush on him before running off after another friend.