Authors: Kate Forster
‘Nikki?’ he asked.
‘Yeah. And by the way, why the hell did you tell Nikki about us?’
James frowned. ‘I didn’t,’ he said, puzzled.
Andie was sceptical. ‘She said you told her I jumped you.’
James took her hand. ‘I promise I didn’t,’ he said gently. ‘Seriously, it wouldn’t be worth me living if I’d told her. She must have guessed.’ He looked into Andie’s eyes, begging her to believe him. ‘She’s pretty off her head on all the stuff they gave her at the hospital.’
Andie was momentarily relieved. She believed him. But she was still so pissed off about everything else. ‘So they’re giving her drugs to deal with her overdose? That sounds like an awesome plan. Welcome to America.’ Andie gave him a sarcastic thumbs-up.
‘I don’t know – I’m not a doctor,’ he said defensively. ‘I’m just happy she’s getting help, okay?’
‘Do you love her?’ Andie asked him. ‘Because if you do, then we need to forget yesterday even happened.’
James shook his head. ‘No, I don’t. I mean I do, as a friend. But not like I used to.’
‘Then why are you doing this?’ asked Andie, her eyes searching his face. ‘Surely she has other friends with less messy histories who could help out?’
James looked like he was deciding something. He clasped his hands together and spoke slowly. ‘I … I told you my mother died.’
Andie nodded.
James paused. ‘She died from cirrhosis of the liver. She was an alcoholic, really bad – obviously, as she screwed her liver. But before all that, she was brilliant. She died a long time before her liver failed.’
James took a moment, and Andie sat still.
‘She didn’t have anyone to do what I can do for Nikki. No-one came and helped her or told her she mattered. I wanted to but I was so young and scared. I didn’t know how to help. She was so sad, crying and drinking and sleeping all the time. And when I tried to help, she’d get mad at me.’
Andie put her hand on his thigh. James looked like a lost little boy.
‘I knew she wasn’t really mad at me,’ he said, struggling to keep his voice steady. ‘The drinking was making her say shit she didn’t mean. But the words stayed inside me, I guess. I don’t know.’
Andie nodded, remembering her mother at the end. She knew what it was like to have someone you loved say awful things to you. Those things could never be taken back, even if they weren’t really meant.
‘Nikki’s not like other people,’ said James. ‘She’s more …’
Unhinged,
Andie wanted to say.
‘Damaged,’ said James.
Andie wanted to scream at James that Nikki was a liar, but she stayed silent. After all, Andie herself was the biggest liar she knew.
‘Why is she more damaged than you or me or Jess or Pete or anyone else walking out in the world?’ Andie asked gently instead. ‘Everyone has crappy things happen sometimes.’
‘I know, but … ’ James started to say.
‘Picking up the pieces for her every time she breaks isn’t teaching her how to put herself back together,’ said Andie.
‘I know, but …’
‘How many times have you done stuff for her, taken the blame for things you haven’t done, stood up for her?’ Andie shook her head, continuing stubbornly. ‘At some point you have to see that your rescuing her isn’t helping, and it’s hurting you. You have to recognise that you can’t give her the help she needs. Sometimes love isn’t enough, James. If it was, then … maybe our mothers would still be alive.’ She swallowed a sob.
‘Don’t, Andie, I feel shit enough without the lecture. This is tough, okay? We had three years together, Nikki and me. You don’t just walk away from three years.’
Andie was frustrated. She’d felt more with James in that one day than she had in her entire two-year relationship with Cameron. She knew James had felt it too. She shook her head helplessly. ‘I don’t get it,’ she said.
James nodded. ‘I know you don’t,’ he said bitterly. He planted his crutches and got up off the bed. ‘Oh yeah. I got these for you while I was out,’ he said, tossing the paper bag on the bed and turning to go. ‘Hell of a hassle to get, but I thought they might cheer you up.’
He hobbled out of the room on his crutches. Andie opened the bag. It was full of Caramello Koalas.
So he didn’t just go out for Nikki,
Andie thought. Damn him – why did he have to be so nice?
James lay on his bed, miserable, his head whirling with thoughts and doubts. Was Andie right about Nikki? Should he let her go and make her own mistakes? Why did he always try to fix her problems?
He rolled over, wishing Andie was there with him. Wishing Nikki was away somewhere else, happy and healthy.
Just thinking of Andie turned him on. The way she laughed and teased him, the way she moaned and kissed him. Her face, her hair, her clothes. Christ, she was incredible.
As soon as Nikki was better, he and Andie would have their turn. It would all be okay, he tried to convince himself.
He heard a knock at his door. Nikki opened it.
‘Hey, baby,’ she purred. ‘Need anything?’
James struggled to sit up. Nikki came over to sit next to him on the bed.
‘I’m fine,’ he said, praying Andie wouldn’t come into the room.
‘I have to head out to see my doctor for a follow-up. Can I pick you up anything?’ she asked, running her hand through his hair.
James frowned. ‘No, thanks. You want me to come with you?’
‘No, baby, you rest your foot,’ Nikki said.
‘Okay. But, hey, I don’t think you should drive. Get Andie to take you.’
Nikki shook her head. ‘I’ll be okay. Straight there and back, I promise. Andie is busy, I’m sure. She’s such a great girl, isn’t she? So helpful to you. I feel good knowing she’s here looking after you.’
James smiled. It was a shame Andie couldn’t hear that Nikki could be a total sweetheart.
Nikki took James’s face in her hands and kissed him passionately.
James jerked his head away.
‘No, Nikki! We’re not like that anymore.’
‘Like what? I know you still love me,’ said Nikki, a smile playing at her lips.
‘No, I don’t,’ said James. ‘Not like that. I did, but not now.’
Nikki pouted. ‘You don’t mean that.’
‘I do.’
‘You can’t. You brought me here to look after me, got me from the hospital!’
Nikki was maddeningly stubborn. ‘That’s what friends do,’ James said, exasperated.
Nikki scrutinised his face. ‘You love
her
. Don’t you?’
‘Who?’ asked James, using the crutch to get to his feet.
‘Her.
Andie
. Your little assistant.’
James shook his head. ‘I don’t know, Nikki. Yeah. I like her. I like her a lot.’
Nikki lifted her head up. ‘Okay. Right. Okay.’ She seemed to be lost for words. She said nothing else and left the room.
James groaned. He sat for a while, thinking about the situation he’d got himself into. Maybe it
was
a mistake, having Nikki here. It was all so fucking complicated.
He went down the hallway on his crutches. Nikki’s door was shut, as was Andie’s. He knocked gently at Andie’s door and she opened it.
‘Hey,’ he said.
‘Hi,’ she answered.
Without another word, he dropped his crutches and kissed her, half-hopping, directing her towards the bed. His arms were around her waist and he pulled her on top of him, his hands roaming over her body.
‘I’m going to tell Nikki to leave,’ he said.
‘Really?’ she asked breathlessly.
‘Yes. You’re right.’ He kissed her again, then looked at her lovely face, so pretty and fair against her dark hair. ‘God, you’re beautiful,’ he said, feeling himself hard against her body.
‘You are,’ she replied huskily, kissing him with equal desire.
‘Don’t worry about Nikki. She’ll be okay,’ he said, pulling Andie’s T-shirt over her head.
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure,’ he said. Andie looked at the open door. She jumped from James and went over and shut it, dragging his crutches inside the room.
She stood by the closed door and unzipped her jeans and slid them down her hips, so that she was in her underwear. James had never wanted anyone more in his life. With a grin, he realised that Nikki was right. He did love her.
‘Come here,’ he said in a low voice.
Andie walked over and stood by the side of the bed. James pulled her body to his and buried his face in her stomach. ‘I could fall in love with you,’ he said softly, not quite ready to commit. He’d been burnt by love too many times.
Andie put her hands against his cheeks and, raising his head, looked into his eyes. ‘Me too,’ she said. ‘But I have to tell you something.’
James ran his thumb around the edge of her underwear and slid it down. His hands searched and caressed. He released the catch on her bra and pushed her onto the bed. He was still fully clothed while Andie was naked.
‘Tell me later. I want you too much. I want to make you happy,’ he said in her ear.
‘You do,’ she said, swallowing. ‘But I have to tell you something.’
‘Later,’ he said and opened her legs, kissing his way up the inside of her thigh. ‘It can wait.’
Andie moaned as his tongue explored her body. ‘Okay,’ she sighed. ‘It can wait.’
As soon as James left her room, Andie picked up her phone and sent a text. Within seconds a reply came and she dressed quickly. A black pencil skirt, the vintage white T-shirt with a Hawaiian dancer Cece had found for her, and her vintage leopard-print jacket. Andie slipped on her new black sandals and put on a slash of red lipstick. She looked good, she thought. And she was glad – she needed to feel confident in her armour to deal with Nikki.
Neither James nor Nikki were anywhere to be seen when she left. Andie felt a small stab of disappointment that her carefully chosen outfit wasn’t seen by either of them.
A horn beeped outside and Andie opened the gates. She ran up the driveway and jumped into the car waiting outside.
‘Hi, Rene. Thanks for coming,’ she said. ‘I’m gonna drive my car back here. I can’t keep borrowing James’s car.’
‘No problem, Andie,’ he said and merged into traffic. ‘A woman has to have her own wheels.’
‘Ha,’ laughed Andie. ‘Except for Cece, right? She’s too special.’
‘Her health issues mean she can’t drive,’ said Rene, looking at her. ‘I thought she would have told you that?’
Andie was embarrassed by her insensitivity. ‘Oh yeah, she might have mentioned it.’
‘You look very nice,’ Rene said. ‘What have you got planned?’
‘Thanks. Nothing planned – I just wanted to look nice,’ said Andie.
‘Cece said shopping with you was great fun,’ he said, stopping at some lights.
‘Yeah. It was okay,’ said Andie. She paused. ‘How long have you worked for her?’
‘Two years,’ said Rene as the car started moving again.
‘Doesn’t it get boring, being a driver?’ asked Andie.
‘I’m not just a driver,’ said Rene.
‘Oh really?’ asked Andie with a smile on her lips.
Rene rolled his eyes. ‘I’m also her bodyguard.’
‘What? No way,’ said Andie. ‘Does she have any stalkers?’ She laughed.
‘She has a few,’ said Rene. Andie swallowed her laugh. ‘Most are harmless but sometimes people get a little too close. I just make sure she’s okay.’
Andie nodded. ‘That’s freaky.’ She felt bad that she’d avoided her aunt so much until now. Even though Cece had never made an effort to get to know Andie before she came to LA, Andie realised she’d essentially been doing the same thing to Cece. Until now.
When Rene stopped outside of Cece’s house, Andie felt comforted to see its greenery and peace again.
The door opened and Cece smiled to see her.
‘Hello,’ she said, leaning over to give Andie a hug. It was the most intimate they’d been since Andie had arrived in LA. Andie found she didn’t mind it.
Perhaps she was ‘hug hungry’, she thought as she pulled away, remembering James’s comments about their skin the day before. Her mum hadn’t hugged her in the last few months. She was too weak, and she’d complained that even her skin hurt.
‘Do you want something to eat or drink?’ asked Cece as they walked to the living room.
‘No thanks, I’m …’
Cece turned to look at her with raised eyebrows.