Unlucky Break (25 page)

Then Andie thought about how good Cece had been to Jess, who she coddled like a
spoilt daughter
.

She jumped out of bed. ‘I’ve just realised something. I have to go,’ she said to Jess. ‘But I’ll be back.’

In bare feet, still wearing Jess’s trackpants, she ran out of the house and into the dark night. She headed down through Jess’s garden and pushed through the gap to Cece’s lawn. The beautiful house loomed up ahead.

She ran towards the house. There was a hissing noise as she ran and she realised that the sprinklers had come on. They sprayed through the air around her on every side, totally soaking her.

‘Noooo!’ she yelled as she ran through them.

Once past the sprinklers, Andie stopped to wring the water from her T-shirt. She wanted to get her breath back and pull her thoughts together before she spoke to Cece, but when she looked up, Cece and Rene were on the back terrace, watching her with amusement.

Andie felt like a kid who’d been caught by her parents trying to sneak back into the house after a party.

She laughed self-consciously. ‘Um, hi,’ she called, walking up the stone steps to the huge terrace.

She could see both Cece and Rene were trying not to laugh.

Andie turned to Cece. At the sight of her aunt – or mum, or whatever she was now – the words tumbled out of Andie’s mouth without her even thinking about them.

‘I get it,’ she said breathlessly, her hair dripping wet.

‘Get what?’ asked Cece, her face confused.

‘I get that your life was crappy, even with all of this.’ Andie gestured to the house and the beautiful garden and terrace. ‘I get that it was crappy … without me,’ she said simply.

Cece smiled as her eyes filled with tears. ‘Yeah, it was pretty crappy.’

‘I’m not saying that because of
me
. I’m not that special. But you lost your kid, and that’s why you drink. Or used to drink, or whatever.’ Andie had meant it to sound better than this.

Cece pulled Andie to her and held her face in her hands. ‘You are special, Andie. Don’t ever think you aren’t, okay?’

‘You sound like Mum,’ Andie laughed, her throat hurting with the tears that were welling up. ‘I mean, Marlo.’

‘She was your mum, Andie. And she loved you so much,’ said Cece, the tears now streaming down her face.

Andie shook her head. ‘I know, I loved her too,’ she sobbed.

‘I don’t want to be your mum’s replacement,’ Cece said, pulling back a little to look at Andie properly. ‘Marlo took care of you when I couldn’t. And now it’s my turn, Andie. Let me take care of you for a while.’

Andie relaxed into her arms. ‘I’m so tired,’ she said.

‘I know,’ said Cece, as she stroked her hair. ‘You’re tired from having to grow up too soon. Let go of the controls, Andie. Let someone else drive for a while.’

And then Andie knew it was time to let go of everything that had happened over the last two years.

She couldn’t change her mum getting sick.

Cameron and Marissa deserved each other.

She’d totally messed things up with James, but maybe that was just life.

She didn’t need Cece’s permission to let go of it all, but it felt good to have it anyway.

‘You’re my GPS,’ said Andie suddenly.

She shot a sheepish look over at Rene, who was standing a little way off, trying to give Andie and Cece some privacy, but obviously hearing every last word.

‘Huh?’

‘My Guidance Parenting System,’ explained Andie, grinning. ‘To be used only in emergencies.’

‘And whenever else it feels right, kiddo. Okay?’

‘Okay,’ said Andie with a firm nod of her head.

24

It had been three weeks since she’d left James’s house and Andie still hadn’t heard from him, even though she checked her phone every few minutes. Even when she slept, she would wake up every couple of hours and reach for her phone. It was driving her insane.

She was spending her days watching movies in bed, mostly romantic comedies and tear-jerkers. As each one finished she would put another one on, back to back until she fell asleep in front of the TV. At first, Jess had come to keep her company, painting her nails, talking about Pete and life and her ideas on everything. She had bought Gigi an entire wardrobe of teddy clothes. Andie loved Jess for just being there in her room. She was comforting.

But now that her boob reduction was healed, production was beginning on the war movie. She was in at the studio a lot for costume fittings and rehearsals. Andie went on without her.

‘You okay? How you doing?’ Cece would ask each day.

Andie would nod and stare at the screen vacantly.

Finally Cece came in to Andie’s room one morning and opened the blinds. She sat on the end of the bed.

‘You getting up today?’ she asked. Andie put her head under the covers and ignored the question.

‘It’s time, Andie, to face everything that’s happened,’ said Cece gently. ‘I think maybe this isn’t just about James, but more about your mum, which is why I’ve been leaving you to it. Do you think you’re finally allowing yourself to grieve her?’

Andie was silent. Eventually Cece got up with a sigh and left the room. Andie stayed in the darkness of the bedclothes cave and thought about what Cece had said.

Andie knew she was right. At some point over the last three weeks, she’d stopped crying about James and Cameron and guys in general, and had started to cry about her mother. Deep soul-wrenching sobs that hurt every part of her body until she would sleep, wake up and start all over again.

Andie threw back the bedclothes. Another day of watching films lay before her. She hadn’t showered in three days and was seriously thinking about taking up smoking, even though she hated it. It just seemed so dirty and sordid, which appealed to her current state of mind.

Andie sat up in bed, thinking about the day ahead. She lay back down again.

Her phone rang and, seeing Jess’s name come up on the screen, she answered it.

‘Hey,’ she said.

‘I’ve got the afternoon off. Pete’s coming over soon to take me to lunch in Santa Monica. You wanna come?’ asked Jess.

‘No thanks. I’m not fun, remember?’

‘You can be, sometimes,’ Jess said. ‘Has he called yet?’

‘No,’ said Andie. ‘And he won’t and I don’t even care anymore.’

‘Uh-huh,’ Jess’s voice was filled with scepticism.

‘No, really,’ said Andie, and it was true. She was beyond thinking about James now. She just wanted to remember what being happy felt like.

‘So I’m leaving next week for London,’ said Jess. ‘Will you be okay while I’m away?’

Andie covered her eyes with her hand, not wanting to think about being alone. ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine.’

Jess paused for a moment. ‘Come to London with me.’

‘What?’ Andie laughed.

‘Come with me, it’ll be good and if you’re still depressed you can lie in bed at The Dorchester.’

Andie sat in thought for a minute. It wasn’t actually a bad idea. It was true she could be depressed anywhere, and London was the top of her list of places she wanted to go. She’d have to stop watching films in the dark sometime.

‘Okay,’ she said, feeling brave.

‘Really?’ squealed Jess.

‘Yeah. Why not? It’s not like I have anything amazing going on here.’

‘That’s the spirit. Go, Andie,’ laughed Jess. ‘Ohmigod! I’m so freaking excited! I’ll call you later.’

Andie finished her phone call and sat up in bed again. She had a shower and got dressed, finding Cece talking to Rene in the garden. She liked the way Cece looked when she talked to Rene. Over the last three weeks they’d both come to keep her company watching films. Rene was so obviously in love with Cece. She hoped they’d work out.

Rene saw her and waved. Cece turned around to look at her.

‘So, London, huh?

Andie threw up her hands. ‘Jess is like a personal public address system.’

‘She’s excited,’ said Cece, laughing. ‘She loves you.’

‘So can I go?’ asked Andie hopefully.

Cece nodded. ‘I think it’s just the thing you need.’

Andie rushed forward and hugged Cece. ‘Thank you. Oh my god, thank you. I just have to leave LA for a while – I think I’m doomed if I stay here.’

Rene smiled at Andie. ‘I’m going to do a few things,’ he said, and left them alone.

‘How are things going with him?’ asked Andie with a sly smile.

Cece blushed. ‘Oh fine. Slow. Nice,’ she said as they sat down on a garden bench under a large fern. ‘I’ve liked him for a long time, but I didn’t know whether he really liked me or if he was just doing his job.’

Andie crossed her feet. ‘Why were you ever with a creep like Barry?’ She still couldn’t quite believe he was her biological dad.

Cece shrugged. ‘He wasn’t always like he is now. He was amazing and charismatic, filled with ambition. Somewhere along the way he forgot to be a decent person.’

Andie made a face. ‘He’s vile.’

‘Well, he could’ve just handed you over to the police,’ said Cece. ‘And I know he covered for you when the insurance company came asking questions, so maybe there is still a heart in there.’

Andie didn’t say anything. Cece was right – Barry could have done a lot worse and, after all, it was her fault to begin with.

‘He knows you know,’ said Cece, looking at Andie. ‘I told him.’

‘What did he say?’ asked Andie, staring ahead.

‘Not much,’ said Cece quietly.

Andie felt her eyes fill with tears. ‘I’m such a loser,’ she said. ‘And I can’t stop crying.’

Cece held her close. ‘It’s called grief, Andie. Go with it and see where it takes you. But remember, I’m always here. You will never be alone while I am in the world. Okay?’ She pulled back and looked at Andie’s face. ‘I love you, kid.’

Andie smiled through her tears and buried her head in Cece’s shoulder. ‘I know,’ she mumbled. ‘Thank you.’

25

London was so exciting that Andie had whole days where she forgot about everything that had happened back in LA. She found she wanted to write again, but her old idea for her book didn’t feel right anymore. Instead she heard conversations in her head, and saw characters and scenes.

‘I’ve watched too many movies,’ she said to Jess one night soon after they’d arrived. They were eating dinner in the Chiswell Street Dining Rooms. ‘I see everything like a script.’

‘Then write a script,’ shrugged Jess as she ate her lobster-and-prawn risotto.

‘What?’ said Andie. ‘I can’t just write a script.’

‘Sure you can. Don’t overthink it. You think too much.’

‘You really think I could write a script?’ asked Andie, sipping her Diet Coke.

‘I think you can do anything you want,’ said Jess, smiling at Andie.

‘You’re amazeballs,’ said Andie.

‘Totes,’ said Jess.

Andie went back to the hotel and started to write. The stories poured from her. Some went for pages, and some were just a line or a paragraph, but she felt as though something in her had opened and the creativity was released.

The stories in her head were funny and romantic. The characters were based on people she knew and people she’d encountered in her life. The best parts of Cameron, Marissa, Jess and James. The woman with the fur coat and hotpants. The places were cities she’d always wanted to visit. It wasn’t literary in the slightest and it didn’t matter.

Just get to the point,
she kept telling herself,
and don’t worry about how many syllables the words are.