Unmatchable (27 page)

Ember: Come get me? And do what with my car?

Colton: I'm just trying to help, Ember.

Ember: I know, I'm sorry.

Colton: If you're not ready to face him yet, that's okay.

Ember: It's not okay. I feel like if I'm not ready to face him now, then I never will be.

Colton: How about this? Take a breather for a minute. Collect your thoughts. If you still feel like you can't face him, then come over to my place, and I'll take you out to dinner.

I laugh.

Ember: Food isn't going to fix this, Colton.

Colton: Sure it will. Food fixes everything.

I wish food fixed everything. If it did, I'd walk up to the door with ice cream and pizza shoved in my mouth and everything would be rainbows and butterflies. It's not a cure-all for everything, though. Just a comfort when things go to shit. They're definitely going to shit right now.

Get yourself together. You've come this far. If you turn back now, this is going to continue to haunt you. Don't think about it anymore. Don't hesitate. Just knock and get it over with.

I force myself off of the bench and take long strides back to room 201. Without a second thought, I knock so hard that my knuckles ache. The sound echoes off of the walls.

Footsteps pad toward the door, and panic assaults me again. I cast a glance at the elevator, wondering if I can still reach it before I'm discovered. Not likely. Not unless I can be as fast as Superman.

The bolt unlatches, and I hold my breath as the door swings open. When I see Alex, my chest floods with relief. Maybe Nelson isn't here after all. Please, God, don't let him be here.

“
Ember.” He smiles at me.

“
Alex.”

“
I didn't expect to see you so soon, not that I'm unhappy about it.”

“
I'm not here to see you.” My words are biting, though the anger in them is completely misdirected. “Is Nelson here?”

Alex opens up the door a bit wider, and as I shift my weight, I see my brother sitting on one of the beds. He looks every bit as curious and apprehensive as I do, like two kittens being introduced to each other for the first time. We stare at each other as if stuck in a dream, and then he comes to life.

“
Oh my God, Ember, is that really you?” Nelson pushes himself off of the bed and rushes to the door. I instinctively take a few steps away to make sure there's a safe distance between us.

“
It's really me.”

I look my brother up and down. If years changed Alex, they turned Nelson into a different man entirely. He's packed on a good thirty pounds, and it's not muscle. His blond hair that he used to have shaved on the sides has grown out into a mussy mop. The sleek intimidation of his sharp features has fleshed out into something pleasant and less threatening. Dare I say, he looks friendly.

Looks can be deceiving, though. I know who he really is. I remember.

“
Would you like me to give you guys some time alone?” Alex stares at me, making sure it's okay.

Despite my better judgment, I nod. Alex disappears back into the room momentarily to grab his wallet and then slips around us both to head down the hall. My eyes trail after him, wondering if I made a mistake by sending him away. He was supposed to be my protection.

“
Wow. You look different.” Nelson takes me in.

“
You're one to talk.” I poke at his pudge. I'm not sure what possessed me to be bold enough to touch him, but it feels oddly natural.

“
I know, right?” He rubs his belly. “It looks like you're not the only one who has spent the past few years trying to change their image.”

“
I never thought to gain weight.” I force a smile that I know looks more cruel than pleasant. For some reason, I can't resist the urge to make jabs at him. He's being nice, and I'm already in attack mode.

“
Come on in.” He motions for me to follow him inside. “It's a bit messy, but nothing like the house was, I promise.”

I lift my foot to cross the threshold but then hesitate. Once the door is closed behind me, no one will be able to save me if shit hits the fan.

Shit won't hit the fan. And even if it does, there's nothing to stop you from leaving. It's not going to be like it used to be. You have to believe that. You're a stronger person now.

It takes all of my conviction to make that leap of faith into the hotel room and watch the door close behind me. By the time I turn around, Nelson is rummaging through the mini-fridge.

“
Would you like some water or a soda? If I remember correctly, you like Coke.” He holds a can out to me.

“
I'm fine.” I hug myself protectively and stop just short of the beds, pulling the chair out from under the small desk in the room and planting myself in it.

“
Mind if I do?” He looks at me as if asking for permission to drink the soda instead.

“
Have at it.”

“
These things are horrible for you, but I just can't seem to give them up.” He pops open the soda and chugs down a few mouthfuls before sitting on the corner of the bed farthest from me. I'm thankful that he doesn't try to get closer.

For several minutes, we sit there in silence. Nelson drinks his soda and stares at me, and I look at everything I can in the room to avoid him. At the empty bags of chips on the table. At the takeout boxes piled in the garbage can. At the prints of seascapes on the walls.

“
So how have you been?” he asks finally.

“
Fine.” I don't even observe the courtesy of returning the question. In truth, I don't care how he's been. He could be a rotting corpse in a gutter, and it wouldn't bother me in the least.

“
Alex told me you got your own place.”

“
I did,” I keep my answers short, wanting him to know as little about my life as possible.

Nelson wraps his hands around the can and taps at it. It's the first sign that he's nervous, an old habit he has had since we were kids.

It makes me want to grin. When we were children, he used to hate thunderstorms. Every time it would rain, I would sit with him on his bed until the worst of it passed. If he had a drink in his hand, he would always tap on the container. Tap. Tap. Tap. It was a mindless action, but somehow I think it made him feel better.

“
Things are going well for you then.” He nods to himself.

“
They are.”

Minutes pass in silence. I'm not making things easy on him. If anyone is creating tension between us, it's me. He's trying to be friendly; I'm just shutting down.

There's no point in beating around the bush. No point in trying to be pleasant with one another and pretend like we're a happy family. I know that I need to get out what I came to say. Otherwise, this will drag on forever.

“
I didn't want to come see you, you know.” I look past him toward the window, even though I can't see outside because the curtains are drawn closed.

“
I kind of figured.” The tapping becomes more insistent. He drops his gaze to the can and keeps it there.

“
You're the main reason why I left. You're the main reason why I didn't want to be found.”

“
I know, and I'm sorry. I made a lot of mistakes back then. I've been trying to make amends for them.”

“
How have you made amends for them?” My head snaps to face him.

“
I turned over a new leaf. I got clean. I started going to church. I started working for what I wanted instead of stealing it.”

“
How is that making amends? Perhaps you don't understand the meaning of the word.” My anger flares. “Making amends is compensating for the injuries you caused others. Did you return the things that you stole? Paid off your debts to those you wronged? Found some magical way to give me back my innocence?”

His expression is pained. “Ember, that's not fair.”

“
What's not fair is that you're sitting here enjoying life instead of rotting in a jail cell where you belong.” I stand, sick of hearing his bullshit. If anyone deserves to have a better life, it's certainly not him.

“
I'm trying, Ember. Whenever Alex told me that he had found you, the first thing I wanted to do was go to your apartment and apologize, but I knew you didn't want me there.”

“
You're right. I don't want you there. In fact, if you would have shown up, I probably would have called the police. I don't want you anywhere near me. To this day—to this moment—I don't want you anywhere near me.”

His shoulders slump. “Then what are you doing here?”

“
I came here to face my demons. I came here to tell you that I hate you. God may forgive you for all of the horrible things you've done, but I never will.”

I'm so overheated that I can't even stand to be in his presence anymore. I take long strides to escape the hotel room—to escape him. Thankfully, he doesn't give chase.

On the other side of the door with it closed behind me, I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off of my chest. I walk back to my car, keeping my eyes forward. It's not until I'm sitting behind the steering wheel that the fake veil of pride is lifted, and pain shines through. I manage to hold back my tears until I've pulled onto the street.

These past few years, I've fantasized about what this moment would feel like—about standing up for myself and telling Nelson how much he has damaged me. There were so many different scenarios that played through my head. Scenarios where we fought and screamed at each other. Where Nelson tried to justify what he did. Where he groveled and begged for my forgiveness. In the end, I always came out the victor. In the end, all of the pain from my past melted away after I said my peace.

That's not the reality of the situation though. While I'm happy that I let my words fly freely from my lips—from my heart—I definitely do not feel like the victor. Remembering the pure remorse in Nelson's eyes, I realize that neither of us came out the winner. In fact, I'm not ever sure I'm any better off than I was before.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

COLTON

It broke my heart to see Ember standing on the other side of my loft door with tears streaming down her face, her chest heaving from sobs. As soon as I opened the door to her, I enveloped her in my arms, and the crying only got heavier. The sounds that she was making were enough to tell me that things didn't go well.

“
Come on in. Everything will be alright.” I walk her over to the sofa. She curls against my side as if seeking shelter from the rain.

When we get to the sofa, she sinks down beside me and cries some more. I hold her until the sobbing stops. Even after that, we sit there in silence. I stroke her hair, rocking her gently.

No words need to be spoken. If this is what it takes to make her feel better, we can stay like this all night. All that matters to me is that she's okay again.

“
I shouldn't have gone to see him. It solved nothing,” she says finally.

“
Did he say anything to you? Did he hurt you?” I pull her back by the shoulders to scan her over.

It's hard to tell whether or not she's injured. Her face is puffy from a mix of crying and sinuses. She's still beautiful to me, though. A beautiful mess.

“
No.” She shakes her head. “He didn't hurt me. And he didn't say anything that Alex hadn't already told me. That was kind of my fault, though.”

“
What happened?”

“
He was trying to be nice. He was trying to...” She looks up at the ceiling and tears cascade down her cheeks. I quickly move to wipe them away with the back of my fingers. She grabs my hand, holding it with both of hers. “I didn't really let him get a word in edgewise. I kind of just went off. I had so much pent up inside. So much I wanted to say.” She sniffles. “I didn't even get it all out. I just...I just...”

“
Shh. It's okay.” I pull her against me as another round of sobs overtake her.

She cries until there are no tears left, until all she can do is dry heave. It doesn't take as long for her to settle this time. Again, we fall into silence. The minutes tick by like eternity as I stay there with her. I wish there was more that I could do for her than just this. If she asked me, I would go to the ends of the earth to make it better.

“
Are you hungry?” I brush a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. They give resistance, stuck to her face with tears.

“
Not really,” she grumbles.

“
Is there anything that I can do for you?”

“
Make me forget.” She shifts beside me, pressing her body even closer.

I rest my arm around her shoulder and rub her back. “And how do you propose I do that?”

When she looks up at me, the sorrow in her expression is replaced with something completely unexpected. “I can think of a few ways.”

I'm reluctant to believe we're both on the same page. Ember does not seem like the type who would turn to sex for comfort, so I have to make sure that I'm not reading her wrong.

“
Oh? Like watching a movie or going out for a night on the town?” I smirk.

“
No. Like you between my legs fucking my pain away.”

I cup her chin, tilting her face up toward mine. “Miss Washington, what a filthy mouth you have.”

“
Maybe you should silence it.”

I press my lips against hers, and her kiss is full of fire. This is a part of her I've never tasted before. I can almost feel the carnal need flowing from her body into mine. My cock hardens instantly from the intensity of the kiss.

She crawls on top of me, holding my face in her hands. Her tongue teases along the seam of my lips, seeking entry. Once she's inside, she probes deeply, her tongue caressing mine. My dick throbs as she grinds down on me, fueling my lust like gasoline thrown haphazardly onto an open flame.

While I would have thought she'd want to make love in her vulnerable state, I couldn't be further from wrong. Her hands tear at my shirt, roughly pulling it over my head. I follow suit, undressing her as if her clothes are doused in poison.

Within a matter of seconds, we're both naked. I lay her down on the sofa and hike her leg over my hip, sliding into her. Her back arches off of the cushions, her pillowy breasts pushing up against my chest. I cover them with my hands, squeezing and kneading and pinching her nipples before I bury my face against her and thrust in deep.

“
Oh yes. Just like that, Colton.” Hearing my name on her lips infused with passion about throws me over the edge. It's one of the sexiest sounds ever.

I drive into her again and again, relishing the softness of her skin against mine, the heat of her core as it squeezes around my cock, the tiny gasps and moans she makes when I angle my hips just right. She feels like heaven on earth. When I'm inside of her, nothing else in the world matters.

***

Things calm down over the next few days. Even if Ember didn't get out everything that she had meant to say to Nelson, she seems lighter somehow. We go out on dates and take turns spending the night with each other. There's an easiness about her smile and lilt to her laugh that hasn't been there since she found out that her brother is in town. It gives me hope that things are finally starting to return to normal, that we can pick up where we left off and work on getting back to being a happy couple.

The sex fast also seems to have come to an end. Where Ember had been pushing me away before, she's now practically dragging me into the bedroom every night. It's a welcome change. One I definitely don't mind. If this stays consistent, my addiction to her is only going to grow. I'm already starting to worry that I'm falling in love, but I dare not tell her that. It's too soon. I don't want to scare her away.

A business conference calls me out of state the following week. I ask Ember if she wants to come—even offer to make an excuse for her to get out of work—but she declines, saying that she doesn't want any special favors just because she's fucking the boss. I admire her integrity but am still a bit disappointed.

I feel the loss of her as soon as I step off of the plane in New York and find myself in an empty hotel room. It's strange how comfortable I've gotten waking up with a woman by my side. The thought that I'm not going to see Ember's beautiful groggy face and mussy hair when I open my eyes in the morning makes me sad. It also makes me realize how attached I've become.

I spend the afternoon listening to lectures by other successful businessmen, giving my own and then having dinner with some long-time business associates and aspiring entrepreneurs. It's an interesting mix. Some of the men at the table are tight-lipped. Others are throwing out ideas left and right, some without regard to how unrealistic and outlandish their expectations are. Most are well grounded. It's a good distraction from everything that's been going on in my life, but it only lasts for as long as it takes me to get back to my hotel room.

I sigh deeply as I loosen my tie and sit on the edge of the bed before grabbing my phone. Now more than ever, I wish I would have insisted that Ember came with me. Even though she's only sixteen hundred miles away, it feels like she's halfway across the world. I can't get back to her soon enough.

I look at my cell phone, thinking about how it's my only link to her right now. Bored and lonely, I tap out a text message.

Colton: How was your day?

Ember: Probably not as exciting as yours.

Colton: Being here is more interesting than exciting.

Ember: My day wasn't even interesting.

Colton: I miss you.

Ember: What do you miss about me?

I choose to picture her lying in bed, preferably naked, twirling a strand of her auburn hair around her fingertip with a wicked grin. Just thinking about it creates a bulge in my pants. Recalling shortly after we first met, I decide to fuck with her a bit.

Colton: I miss your tits.

Ember: You're so crass.

Colton: You love it.

Ember: What do you miss about my tits?

Thank God she's in a good mood and playing along. Perhaps my mental image of her isn't that far off the mark.

Colton: I miss how you moan and squirm when I suck your nipples into my mouth.

Ember: I miss that too. What else?

Colton: I miss the way you look into my eyes when I'm sliding my dick into you.

Ember: You're getting me kind of turned on. What else?

She's not the only one.

Colton: I miss the way your hot little cunt feels squeezing around my cock.

Ember: Jesus, Colton, could you be any more of a pervert?

For nostalgia's sake, I pull my dick out of my pants and take a quick pic before sending it to her.

Colton: Do you see how hard thinking about you makes me?

My phone is silent for a few minutes. Briefly, I wonder if I went too far. But then it buzzes again, and when I click on the text notification, there's a picture attached. My cock throbs as my eyes land on an image of Ember's perfect tits, sans bra.

Ember: Did that make you harder?

Colton: You know it did.

I drag my tongue across my bottom lip, yearning to taste the sweetness of her skin. If only I could reach through the phone and touch her.

Colton: You know I'm totally going to jack off to that picture later.

Ember: I might pleasure myself to yours as well.

Hearing her say that makes me smile. This is the girl who I mercilessly harassed after she kicked me out of her office at Full Hearts Matchmaking Service. This is the girl who slowly sucked me in and got me addicted to her witty retorts and sharp tongue. This is the girl I fell in love with.