Unobtainable (22 page)

“You good?” I whispered.

“Good,” he said.

Harley’s lack of communication had me troubled that he wasn’t all that good with what had just happened. I rolled of off him and quickly discarded the condom into the wastebasket, he never moved. Now I was really concerned. I rolled him onto his side facing me, his eyes were closed and he started to shiver. Pulling the blankets over both of us, I wrapped my arms around his waist scooting us together chest to chest and tangled my legs with his, lying in the pool of his sexual explosion.

“Open your eyes, Harley,” I instructed. “You’re not okay are you? I’m so sorry, I should have never forced you.”

“No, you didn’t force me. Don’t think that for a minute.” Harley’s eyes burst open as he brought his hand to my cheek. “I’m great, that was fucking unbelievable...just don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I hugged him tighter.

“I need you to stay where you are,” he said, an uneasy look on his face. “Whatever you do, don’t leave me alone.”

“Lover I got you, I have no intention of leaving you alone,” I assured him. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“You can never leave me alone, okay? Not after that.”

I knew what he was saying, I understood his fear and as long as he needed me to hang on to him, I would. A good twenty minutes past before he smiled into my face and his hold on me loosened.

“We need a shower,” Harley said, after a few more minutes of silence. “I’ll call housekeeping to change the sheets.”

“You okay if I go start the shower?” I started to roll away when Harley stopped me.

“You go ahead…Hey!...you were great,” Harley smiled.

“So were you, thanks for…” I couldn’t finish my sentence because it was going to come out so laughable.

“I’d let you do it again,” he said, “maybe not for a long while, but just so you know, it felt really good.”

~Harley~

The poison of choice was of course Chivas. Not only was it my favorite, but I needed something strong to help with my recovery. I only called it that because it was still so fresh in my mind that I knew I wasn’t going to get over the fact that I succumbed to Dyson’s sexy charms, and allowed him to partake of me in a way I never thought I ever would again. I shook my head and downed another shot as I tightened my ass cheeks together and felt the tender reminder of his cock inside my ass. Of the few men that had ever topped me, Dyson was the only one I ever wanted to do that to me again. I would in the future succumb again if he asked, I just wasn’t advertising the point. If given the choice mine was to be the one in control.

“You’re fucking miles away,” Dyson said, shoving his shoulder into mine and causing me to stagger a tad. “What you got going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Actually,” I said, filling our glasses. “I was thinking about you.”

“Me?” Dyson looked truly flabbergasted.

“Yup,” I chinked our glasses together, sucking the warm liquid back and welcoming the burn. “The truth is I can’t seem to be able to get your cock out of my ass.”

Dyson threw his head back laughing, “You want to rephrase that? I don’t think that’s what you meant to say.”

“That’s exactly what I meant to say,” I nodded, increasing the fuzzy feeling in my head from the alcohol. “I didn’t know I could like it so much after…you know.”

“I do know,” Dyson said, nudging me. “It felt so good being inside you…Just know that I could never do those things to you, I’d never intentionally hurt you.”

“Yeah I know that,” I said. “For some fucked up reason I know you won’t do anything to hurt me…that’s why I feel so bad.”

“Why do you feel bad?” Dyson’s brows creased, as he tipped his head to the side like a puppy listening intently. I snorted.

“You’re so fucking cute,” I told him. “I’m going to fuck you up.”

“Huh?”

“It’s inevitable. I will fuck up your perfect world with my fucking debacle of a life.”

I had the bartender pour us two more shots and watched Dyson shove his aside. The scowl on his face made him look even more adorable as he attempted to give me an angry glare, puffing out his chest. I sucked back my shot and then sucked back Dyson’s, then after assuring the bartender we were here to stay, he filled both glasses and left the bottle with us.

“We can never be together,” I said. “The shattered pieces of my life, they’ll rip you to shreds until you’re completely trashed.”

“I’m already trashed,” Dyson chuckled.

“Can we be serious here?” I asked.

“No we cannot, I don’t want to be serious,” Dyson snapped, pulling the bottle from my hand and filling his glass only. “This has been a great fucking conference thing, whatever…don’t take it away from me yet. I’m enjoying the fucking carefree, fun loving, untroubled, happy-go-lucky Harley Cooper, he’s been a blast. Everything’s going to go south if you do this serious thing, don’t get serious Harley, don’t fucking do it!”

He was panicked as he grasped the lapel of my jacket and shook me, I couldn’t help laughing. “Take it easy baby, I just don’t want you getting your hopes up thinking we could be more than fuck buddies.”

“Is that really what we are?” Dyson asked, with a wounded expression on his face. “I thought we were friends with benefits.”

“Same thing,” I said, draining the last of the bottle into our glasses.

“No it’s not,” Dyson said, tipping back both glasses. “Friends are for life…fuck buddies are good until the sex gets old. Is the sex getting old? Because I would beg to differ, I think it’s great…I consider you my friend, well I did until now.”

Dyson dropped a few fifties on the bar and staggered away.

“Where you going?” I called out.

“I’m done here,” he yelled over his shoulder, staggering out the door. “See you around.”

“We’re sharing a room, remember?”

“I’ll find another one.”

Me and my big stupid, dim-witted drunken mouth, I had to go after him. If anything happened to Dyson I’d never forgive myself. I spotted him stumbling into the elevator and the door sliding closed before I could reach it, where the fuck was he going to end up?

I watched the numbers on the panel light up as the elevator rose to its destination and breathed a sigh of relief when it stopped at our floor. At least he knew where to go. It took forever while I waited for the elevator to return and then get back up to our floor. I walked off the elevator and I stood laughing at the sight of Dyson curled up in a ball on the floor in front of the room across the hall from ours. Dyson’s keycard was sitting in the neighbors lock, the light flashing red wildly, I pulled it out and reinserted it into ours.

“Baby,” I said, still laughing. “It’s bedtime, but you’re going to have to help me here.”

“Who’s there?” Dyson asked. “Harley the phone’s for you.”

“Yeah I got it,” I said, laughing so hard I could hardly get him to his feet. “Let’s get you inside.”

Getting him into the room was hard, but getting him undressed and under the covers was truly exhausting. I stripped down to nothing and climbed in beside him.

“Goodnight, baby,” I whispered against Dyson’s lips. “Sleep well, cause come morning you’re not going to be a happy camper.”

“Night,” Dyson said, opening one eye trying to focus on me. “I love you.”

“What?”

“Mmm…” he hummed, obviously fading fast as he snugged into my side.

“Jesus fuck,” I heard myself say, sitting on the edge of the bed with my face in my hands.

What he said, it was never supposed to happen. What do I do now? I wanted to run, it had gone too far. What a moron I was to think Dyson could handle sex with nothing more. He was not the heartless bastard I was. His past wasn’t the nightmare mine had left me with, he wanted more, needed more and I couldn’t give that to him. Sadly, it had to end, this charade, before Dyson got too attached.

~Dyson~

The sound of the shower running woke me. I had the most incredible dream. I told Harley I loved him, he smiled and kissed me then told me he loved me too. If only

I hadn’t opened my eyes but I knew that I had a killer hangover by the pounding behind my eyes. Even my teeth hurt when I opened my mouth to yawn, and my tongue felt like I had been licking the carpet leaving a thick matt of something like dirty feet on it. Slowly, I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. I got my bearings about me and discovered my head wasn’t so bad after all. A shower with a hot sexy man would make my headache more manageable.

As I drew the shower curtain back and caught sight of Harley’s perfect bubble butt, I couldn’t resist licking my lips. He turned his head when I placed my hands on his rugged shoulders but didn’t make eye contact. I trailed my fingertips down his muscular back and rubbed his butt cheeks in circles.

“Shit,” Harley said. “I forgot I have to make a call. The shower’s all yours.”

Before it had time to register, he was gone. Harley’s retreat was a hasty one, it must have been one fuck of an important call, I thought, as I poured shampoo into my palm and lathered up my hair, which turned out to be a new experience in pain.

We were leaving today after dinner. Harley told me last night that he wanted to take me to some fancy restaurant before we went to the airport. He said he wanted our last few hours here to be memorable. My idea of spending them rolling around in the hay sounded better to me, but he insisted dinner was a better choice.

“How about we have room service bring up breakfast?” I suggested, as I came from the bathroom stark naked and dripping, drying my hair with a towel, my attempt at enticing Harley out of his funky mood.

Harley barely looked in my direction as he typed on his laptop. “I’d rather eat downstairs. I want to be early for Frank Lattiser’s talk. He’s a friend I haven’t seen in a while, I’d like to touch base with him. You go ahead and order yourself room service if you like.”

Something about the way Harley was acting was off. I was getting the strangest feeling I’d done something wrong. Though he didn’t appear angry, he certainly wasn’t behaving like himself. And Harley wouldn’t make eye contact with me. What the fuck?

“Are you okay?” I asked, wrapping the damp towel around my waist, feeling ill at ease.

“Couldn’t be better,” he said, without the enthusiasm those words would normally have called for.

His total disinterest in me was frustratingly odd. It wasn’t like him to ignore my presence. Hell, he was treating me like I wasn’t even in the room. In his worst mood he had never disregarded me.
I
on the other hand, was the snotty diva that stormed from rooms and stuck my nose in the air like my shit didn’t stink when I was in a pisser, but not Harley.

I figured maybe he had a lot on his mind. Perhaps he had a hangover? Maybe, just maybe, he was sad that our getaway was coming to an end? All the more reason for him to be all over me, you would think. I got dressed and packed my bags so Harley wouldn’t have to wait for me to pack at the last minute and cleared my throat to get his attention.

“I’m ready when you are.”

“Um, you go ahead while I finish here. I’ll meet you in a few minutes,” he said, still not looking in my direction.

“If you’re only going to be a few minutes I’ll wait.”

“No,” he stopped typing and glanced over at me, his eyes were bloodshot and cold. “Go…order me a western omelet and whole wheat toast, I won’t be long.”

“A western and toast, sure thing,” I said, my heart dropping in my chest as I walked out of the room and the door locked behind me.

I felt heartsick, something was terribly wrong.

~Harley~

I should have never looked at him. Then I wouldn’t have seen that crestfallen look in his eyes, the uncertainty and the questioning. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the day, thank God there were three talks to attend. I would have to keep myself constantly busy. I looked at the computer screen showing a senseless muddle of letters, numbers and symbols, I hit delete and closed it. I stuffed my laptop into my bag, it would offer an excuse for my ignoring Dyson. I could say I needed to take important notes.

Closing my eyes and sitting back in my chair, I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I should have been elated. Dyson loved me. But all I felt was fear gripping my heart, causing my gut to ache. My head was telling me I could handle it, my heart wasn’t so certain. Once burned twice shy. I winced when I remembered the inability to move, the searing pain and the gamut of emotions I ran through during those terrifying dark hours alone.

The alarm on my cell phone chirped, I took it from my pocket and turned it off. I put on my game face as I stood looking into the mirror and straightening my tie.

As I approached the table the waitress was filling Dyson’s mug. I sat as she turned the mug at my setting over filling it with piping hot dark roasted coffee, the warm smell I happily welcomed.

“I’ll be right back with your breakfast sir,” she told me.

Dyson was staring at his phone, his expression bleak. He added a drop of cream to his coffee and stirred it for a ridiculous amount of time. The ting of the metal against the china mug was grating on my nerves, I grabbed his hand, stopping him. Without a word, Dyson raised his mug to his lips and gave it a gentle blow before taking a sip. He attended to his phone again, avoiding conversation with me. I got it and in a way I was grateful. Dyson was avoiding me the way I had been avoiding him.

The waitress brought over two plates, the western omelet with toast I had asked him to order and home fries, the second with two slices of plain dry white toast. She set mine down and the toast in front of Dyson who shoved it to the side and moved his mug closer.

“Anything else?” the waitress asked, with a glowing smile. “Jam or peanut butter for your toast, sir? I think I could find marmalade if you like?”

“Actually you can take this away,” Dyson handed her his plate of toast. “I’m not very hungry after all, just the coffee will do me.”

“I’ll freshen that for you,” she took the plate. “I’ll be right back.”

“You should eat something,” I told him, it was going to be a while before we had an opportunity for lunch.

“I said I’m not hungry,” his words were dry and flat, as he continued texting and ignoring me.

~Dyson~

Me: I don’t know what I did, whatever it was he’s not saying.

Tag: He’s just ignoring you? Strange.

Me: No shit! The last few days and nights have been amazing. He’s been so sweet and loving.

Tag: You got drunk last night, maybe you were coming onto someone else and he got jealous.

Me: Can’t be that, he said he didn’t give a shit if I fucked someone else as long as they didn’t fuck me.

Tag: You sure you didn’t get it on with someone else? A quick one off in the washroom maybe?

Me: Please, I would remember having sex, especially in a fucking public washroom.

Tag: Then you said something, think!

Me: My fucking brain hurts I’ve been doing nothing but thinking.

My breath caught in my throat as reality slapped me in the face, Harley looked up at me with his brows pulled together and I dropped my eyes to my phone, as I punched the keys of my Blackberry.

Me: I think I may have said too much.

Tag: Said what?

Me: Oh fuck Tag I blew it. I fucked up royally.

Tag: What did you say?

Me: I told him I loved him.

Tag: FUCK.

Me: I thought it was a dream. The way he’s acting I said it.

Tag: What are you going to do?

Me: I don’t know.

It had been a very quiet day so far. Harley left me to go talk with this Frank guy once he finished breakfast, and although I saved him a seat at the talk, he sat near the door and was gone before I made my way out of the room.

The second lecture was an hour away but since I wasn’t feeling so hot, I decided to sit it out in the lobby outside the room sipping a cup of tea and nibbling on a few saltine crackers to settle my stomach. A nice young lady at the café offered me a few Tylenol and I happily accepted them.

Resting my head against the wall with my eyes closed and my legs stretched out with my ankles crossed, I was aware that someone sat down beside me. Unfortunately for that person, I wasn’t opening my eyes nor was I bothering to give a fuck if they were offended by my discourtesy. This was just going to be one of those days, the one you wished you could go back and start all over again.

What I would have given to have been at home in my bed. Home-home that was, to my dilapidated little attic apartment I shared with a few rodents and an array of spiders. It wasn’t big enough to swing a cat and the toilet ran constantly, but it had that really cool oval window that looked out at the ocean and I had always been happy there. It cost a fortune because of its local but it was cozy and it was home. Right now I was missing it terribly.

“Excuse me,” a soft female voice spoke. “Is your name Dyson Michaels?”

I opened my eyes but remained in my restful position. “Who wants to know?”

“I have something for you,” she said, handing me an envelope.

“What’s this,” I asked.

The svelte blond shrugged her shoulders and rose to her feet. “I only agreed to deliver it. I didn’t ask what it was. Have a nice day.”

I twirled the nondescript white envelope between my fingers and slipped it into my breast pocket before closing my eyes again. Like I needed more bullshit…not today.

Harley actually sat with me for the last lecture, a snore-fest regarding business and Facebook, the pros and cons. Some overly educated geek with huge black framed glasses that swallowed his face and a wrinkled up excuse for a suit, droning on and on about the effects of social media and it’s crippling future on the economy. He was full of shit and hot air and I needed to get the fuck out of there. I stood and glanced momentarily at Harley before leaving. I chose not to tell Harley I wasn’t feeling well, he wouldn’t care either way. He was ignoring me. Why waste my breath?

My phone chirped alerting me to a new text. I ignored it, thinking it was Tag. I would text him later after a short nap. A few minutes later it chirped again and then again. Agitated, I took the phone from my pocket. The last few texts were surprisingly from Harley.

Harley: Where are you?

“What do you care?” I spoke to the phones screen.

Harley: Are we still meeting for dinner?

“So we can sit in silence while I watch you eat? Fun!” I snarled.

Harley: We must leave by 8 to catch our flight. I’ll meet you downstairs for dinner at 5?

I figured if I didn’t answer he’d come looking and then who knew what would happen.

Me: Whatever.

Harley: Yes or no?

Me: Ok.

Harley wasn’t sitting alone when I finally arrived, I was late as usual. Two other men were seated and quickly stood when Harley rose to his feet.

“You’re late,” Harley whispered, giving me a shoulder hug and a slap on the back. “This is Dyson Michaels. Dyson meet Frank Lattiser and Mark Mathis from Concept Canada.”

“Nice to meet you.” I greeted them both, with a friendly handshake.

“Frank is the architect that helped design the second floor balcony in my apartment, we went to college together,” Harley offered as an explanation of how they were acquainted. “Mark’s his new business partner.”

“So business is good in Canada?” I asked, trying hard to be polite, knowing I was failing.

“Very good, we came to Denver to learn more about mountain structures,” Frank shared. “We have a contract to build condo units in the mountains of British Columbia, we’re having mechanical issues and need some advice from the experts here before we start designing.”

“Sounds fascinating,” I lied, my head was throbbing and I couldn’t care less.

I cared more about the dirt forming under my fingernails than I did about mountain retreats and the beyond spoiled rich and famous that would inhabit them.

“Harley told us you’re from Canada?” Frank asked.

“Yes, but I haven’t been back there in years.”