Unorthodox Therapy (39 page)

“You’re so sexy when you're jealous, little one.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck. “We met on
Fetlife
when we were both in our late teens. Allie has always been more precocious, though. By the time I started watching BDSM porn, she was already spanking her boyfriends. She isn't just a friend. She’s my mentor who taught me everything I know about sex, women and domination.” At my confused look, Thomas hurried to clarify. “She’s a hardcore Mistress. I'm like a cuddly teddy bear next to her.”

“Oh. So does she know you and I...” I blushed hard. I wasn’t sure how I felt about other people knowing about my submission to him.

“Yes. I told her because I trust her but she doesn’t know any details. Part of the reason Allie was with me was because… well… I wanted her to meet you. If you want, I can tell her you kicked me out for good.”

I kissed him again and whispered,

“You can tell her we made up if you want. Just... erm, go easy on the intimate details, okay?”

Thomas smirked and patted my backside more tenderly than he would have done any other time.

“Cross my heart. Now, how about this? You go to your apartment, get a change of clothes, a toothbrush and whatever else you need, and come spend the weekend with me? No hardcore play, no punishments. I just want to pleasure you for two days straight.”

“Very tempting.” How did this happen? Just an hour ago, I’d thought of trying anti-depressants and now I was happier than ever? “It sounds more like I'm the Mistress. I could get used to that.”

“Don't even dream about it.” He smirked and kissed me again before whispering, “God, I missed you so much, Lina.”

“Don't get all sentimental on me, Thomas.” I nudged him in the ribs, taking advantage of my punishment free weekend.

Half an hour later, I walked out of the office to head for Thomas's place. If I only knew someone else had heard our conversation, I doubt I’d have been so elated.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Lina

Anxiety and paranoia took over my brain the instant I got in the car and headed for Thomas's house. What if it was all a clever trick to lull me back into his dungeon, to finish what we’d started last time? Cold sweat ran down my back the whole time. Nevertheless, I clenched the steering wheel and got over the urge to head back to my place and forget this evening ever happened. His words sounded genuine but they could have been the brilliant performance of a sociopath.

Those thoughts and doubts tortured me all the way to Marina. I gritted my teeth and decided to take a chance. He may have been the dominant in this relationship but I had the power to stop it all... if Thomas respected my safeword.

When he opened the door, all those evil voices faded away. Thomas must have predicted my discomfort. He smiled tenderly and pulled me in for an embrace and a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Relax. I told you there won't be any rough action tonight and I meant it. The most important thing is to help you feel safe with me again.”

The night that followed was magical. Thomas took me to his bedroom and began to undress me while covering my body with soft kisses. The bruises on my breasts had pretty much healed. Maybe it was just me reading too much into it, but Thomas paid special attention to that area. My lover took his time as if he was trying to lick every inch of exposed skin. By the time he started kissing my sensitive pussy lips, I was already begging for him to eat me out. In other circumstances, such a plea would have been followed by at least an hour of painful teasing until I was on the verge of madness. Instead, Thomas licked my clit and fingered me with soft strokes. His fingers massaged my G-spot with feathery movements. At this point, he had me so primed I was screaming in a powerful climax in less than two minutes. Thomas didn't stop even when the orgasm juices soaked his tongue. His warm lips latched onto my clit and he pressed his teeth close to the swollen flesh, nibbling it so gently he made me scream. My body shuddered under his mouth and he held my thighs apart to keep licking my reddened pussy. The pleasure running through my veins and mind was too intense for me to restrain my howls of passion. The poison of fear and bad memories was leaking out of my body with every climax. Thomas didn't give me a chance to rest. He wouldn't stop lapping at my juices and fingering my swollen, too sensitive cunt. The succession of orgasms hit me with such power I almost blacked out. Unlike other times, there was no need to fight or work for my climaxes. He was giving me all the ecstasy a woman's body and mind could handle, with or without kink.

I lost count of how many times I came before Thomas finally withdrew his wet face from the apex of my thighs. His chin was glistening with the secretions of my pussy and his jaw must have been sore as hell. Still the smile of satisfaction was glowing on his face while he reached out to caress and play with my nipples. Then he turned me onto my stomach and gave me a massage for nearly an hour until I was well coated with pussy nectar and baby oil. His skillful fingers coaxed moans of ecstasy from me even when I was sure I couldn't take any more stimulation.

By the time Thomas slid his cock into my drenched pussy lips, I was floating on air. My lips were tearing at his with insatiable passion. The two hours of sensual foreplay had relaxed my muscles. My thighs were so wet as if they were melting. I felt ready to be fucked roughly, to within an inch of my life. However, Thomas stayed true to his word. For the first time since we'd been intimate, he made tender, sweet love to me. I'd been worried if we tried it the vanilla way my old orgasm issues would come back. Our new relationship was starting on rocky terrain even without such problems, but Thomas was familiar enough with my body to know how to get me off and keep me begging for more.

Right then, tenderness and affection were what I needed whether I realized it or not. When we both came, nearly at the same time, hot tears ran down my cheeks. My newly constructed barriers crumbled under the power of our feelings and passionate physical union.

Thomas tensed at the sight of me crying, and his eyes darkened with worry. His afterglow quickly faded away and he brushed his thumb along my cheekbone to wipe away my tears.

“Lina, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” The obvious anxiety in his voice made me smile with endearment and I pressed my lips to his.

“No, you were amazing. I'm just very happy.”

Relief pooled in his eyes and he pulled me in for a long, sensual kiss. The tiredness of the last weeks finally took its toll on me. I fell asleep draped over Thomas's chest, with his arms holding me tight under the light of candles.

For the first time in two weeks, I didn’t have nightmares.

The whole weekend went by in a similar way. He did his best to spoil me with tenderness, lovemaking and cuddling… just like an abuser would in that stage of the relationship. I'd usually have protested and suspected it was an act to put my fears to sleep, but I needed to get my strength back and his attention helped me recover. Besides, I’d promised to give him a chance.

We spent two days in a row in bed, in blissful laziness. The only times he got up were to receive a delivery of takeout food or to take me to the bath tub. I expected Thomas would move on to the D/s part of our relationship after the night of atonement. However, the closest thing we had to kinky sex was a very short episode of orgasm denial while he held my hands over my head and teased my clit.

Early Sunday evening, we finally rose from the bed and took a shower together. It was sunset so he suggested that we took a short stroll on the marina to enjoy the view together. After that, as unpleasant as it was, I'd have to go back to my own apartment.

We walked between the rows of boats swaying in the ocean, hand-in-hand like a proper couple. The beauty of the landscape, the hues of gold and bright red cast in the water and the light breeze playing with our hair made my real life seem distant, like a vague memory. I turned to Thomas who was caressing my fingers with an absent-minded expression and a light smile. I sighed when our eyes met.

“I wish I didn't have to go.”

He laughed and ran his hand through my flowing hair.

“Think positively.” Thomas pulled me closer and laid my hands on his chest. He cradled the two moons of my ass and squeezed them playfully. “Imagine we're an old married couple. I'm already lazy and unmotivated, with a huge pot belly and receding hairline, in front of the TV with a beer in hand. You have to clean up after me the whole time. I never listen no matter what you tell me, and you’ve suddenly got the chance for an escapade on a Sunday evening.”

I slapped his shoulder with a horrified expression and laughed out loud.

“Shut up.” I snuggled tighter against his body and rolled my eyes. “Is this what you call positive thinking?”

“It would be a better alternative than you spending Sunday night feeling sorry for yourself because you wish you were here with your sexy, athletic boyfriend.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Would it be suspicious if we took a holiday at the same time?”

“I guess so.” The smiled faded away from my lips for a short moment. “But we can always go to my ocean-side house on a long weekend. It's only an hour’s drive away from here.” I leaned forward to nibble his neck playfully. “We may even play out my little fantasy there.”

“Oh?” Thomas raised an eyebrow. “I thought that scenario required a second man as well?”

There were no signs of jealousy in his warm voice though his palms around my ass tensed a little.

“You're more than enough for me.” I kissed his lips and laughed again. “I don't think I'd be able to handle a second.”

The next two weeks were a lot like a honeymoon. Our workload was getting more intense. There wasn't enough time to fool around in the office except for an occasional quickie in the morning, but we'd talk on the phone or
Skype
every evening and often indulged in some spicy phone sex. His voice as he told me what to do with myself was sexy enough to make me cum simply by listening. However, except for those sweet times when he uttered commands in a low, authoritative way, Thomas didn't make any attempt to bring back the Master/pet aspect of our relationship. I would spend every weekend at his house and it was always tender, sweet lovemaking. It worked fine for me while we were still recovering our mutual trust. He was doing everything to make me feel safe with him.

I was ready to get back in the game. Why did we have a discussion about the D/s lifestyle if he had no intention of dominating me again? Of course, I wouldn't want to go back to the dungeon – not yet – but some light spanking and a blindfold would have been a good beginning. Did he think I was too fragile?

During our third weekend together, my suspicions were confirmed. I was down on all fours, with Thomas fucking me from behind, his hands on my ass cheeks. I saw him raise his palm out of the corner of my eye, but then it froze in mid-air and he lowered it slowly to my flesh, patting it slightly instead of landing a cracking palm like he would have before.

I'd been so obsessed with my own pain and horror that I never thought Thomas might be just as scared as I was.

I finally joined
Fetlife
and spent every free minute there reading different articles and forum posts until my head began to hurt. Perhaps it was a breach of BDSM protocol or topping from the bottom, but I had to take matters into my own hands. It was my turn to be his therapist.

***

On a blissful Saturday morning, I woke him up by running a tress of my long hair over his face. We’d spent the evening before having a delicious dinner with lots of wine, nice conversation, and passionate sex. At times, I felt as if we truly were newlyweds. It was the first time in my life I felt like cooking for someone and the results even turned out well. Such intimacy would have scared the hell out of me before and forced me to search for safety exits, but with Thomas, I was just happy, and sometimes, I’d fantasize about us living together. It seemed unlikely to happen in the near future but at least it was something to look forward to.

Thomas blinked a few times until his vision focused on me, and said with a raspy, morning voice.

“What time is it?”

“Time for you to wake up.” I kissed him and pulled away before he could draw me on top of his body. “I've made some breakfast and coffee. Go and freshen yourself up. I'll join you in a bit. I’ve got a special surprise.”

He laughed and picked his glasses up from the bedside table.

“More special than the fact I won't have to get up an hour earlier to serve my girlfriend breakfast in bed? My birthday isn't for another month, Lina.”

“It's your own fault you spoil your pets so much.” I let a sexy drawl into my voice while leaning against the doorframe.

Thomas froze at the word ‘pet’ and forced a smile. We definitely needed to work on solving his issues.

“Won't you join me now?” He got up, wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed me. “You know I love spending my mornings with you.”

“All in good time, Thomas.” I smirked, mimicking his words from months ago. Then I slipped out of his grasp and retreated to the bathroom with a playful sway of my hips. “Put some clothes on. I'll see you in ten minutes.”

“You can't resist the urge to command me, can you?” he growled, with more threat than humor in his voice, then hurried to get a t-shirt and boxers out of his drawers.