Unravel (4 page)

“Hey, sexy girl—wanna take me for another ride?”

I felt the corner of my mouth creep up in amusement as I read his text message.

Joshua was such fun—so happy-go-lucky about everything. It didn’t matter to him about the next day or what was going to happen in the future; he was just living for now. He reminded me a lot of myself when I was a teenager—he was completely carefree, exuberant.

I laughed as I playfully texted back, picturing his head of unruly curls in my mind. “I think you need to get a license.”

“How ‘bout you put me through the test?  I’m a good learner.”

I smirked, feeling my spirit lift as I replied, “I’m sure you are.”

Thirty minutes later there was a loud, aggressive knock on the door. Quickly getting off the couch, and wrapping my kimono around my body, I went to get it.
Wonder who it could be at this hour
? I thought.

Fumbling with the lock, I pulled open the heavy door and peered out above the security chain.

“Hey.” He looked up from his feet slowly, in what looked like an attempt at some strange smolder move.

Oh it’s just Lambo boy—phew
! I thought with relief. “Hey,” I said, smiling as I pulled the chain out of the lock, and walked into the kitchenette, leaving him standing at the entrance like some sort of lost puppy.

“Aren’t you going to ask me in?” he called out.

“You’re a big boy, you can figure it out.” I grinned, watching for his next reaction.

He looked confused, lifting one eyebrow but staying glued to the entrance “HUH?”

I smiled at him cheekily as I dropped a pink marshmallow into my hot chocolate, lowering my eyes to my cup and watching it slowly turn to goo. “Come in, silly.”

He walked towards me, running his hands through his curls. “I’ve been thinking about you, you know.”

“Awww, have you?” I said, as I changed the channel on the TV and sat back down. “Should I be flattered?”

“Man, you are arctic tonight!” he teased “I brought some beer; wanna thaw out with me?”

I dipped my teaspoon into the pink goo floating at the top of the chocolate and swirled it around. “Sure,” I said, placing my drink on the coffee table as I took the bottle from his mouth and took a long swig.

His voice lowered, staring at me as I drank. “Your lips look good around that.”

I glanced away from the TV and into his brown eyes. “You’ve got a dirty mind for such a young kid, don’t you?”

He shrugged, “Sue me.”

I leaned over to his curly locks wrapping my fingers in them, then running my hands across his shoulders in urgency as I pulled his body down on top of me. “Come here, babyface; let me teach you a thing or two.”

He fist pumped the air in celebration, as our tongues started to dart and swirl around in each other’s mouth. I broke our kissing, unable to contain my laughter. “Did you just fist pump the air?
Really
?”

He looked at me sheepishly. “Yeah… you get me excited.” His hands started to pull open my kimono as he gazed down at my body.

“Uh-ah, speedy.” I said, wiggling my index finger at him with a smile. “Off to bed for you,” and I led him across the room to my bed where I pushed him back on the mattress, and proceeded to drop my kimono on the ground. He squirmed like everything depended on how fast he could get his jeans off.

“Slowly does it,” I whispered as I knelt onto the bed and massaged his tanned shoulders, “you’ll pop a gasket at that rate.”

He looked over his shoulder at me with pure optimism and said, “I was hoping I would.”

I laughed, as I kissed his warm, soft neck. “You’re beautiful, Josh. Please don’t ever lose your optimism—you give me hope; you make me smile.”

Fingers entwining, our wet lips pressed together once again. Gently, he lay me down on my back and proceeded to cover my body in a trail of hot, steamy kisses. Down… further and further sending chills of bliss through my body and awakening everything.

***

I woke with the sunlight shining in my eyes. Pulling the black cotton sheet up and over my face, I groaned, “What time is it?” Rolling over, I noticed Josh’s young, golden body draped over mine. I smiled. He was even cuter asleep—calmer, not in such a rush.
No wonder we slept in,
I thought. Shimming further down into the sheets, I peered at the big sports watch he still had wrapped around his wrist.

“Oh my god—I’m late for work!” I said as I jumped out of bed in total panic.

He rubbed his eyes slowly, squinting in the sunlight as I frantically ruffled through my drawers for non-dodgy underwear.

“What time do you start?” he asked sleepily, his eyes barely half open.

“Thirty minutes ago!” I replied in panic. Then I laughed, imagining how crazy I must look to him. “Do you have a time machine in that Lambo?”

He scratched his head in thought. “Nah.”

Walking across the tiles, I called behind me, “Well, thanks for last night anyway, babyface—it was fun. You made me smile, I’ve been kinda blue lately. Well, really blue, actually.”

He sat up in my bed, resting on his elbows “Nah, thank you! You’re fun; can I see you again tonight?”

I looked at my painted nails, realizing they were looking particularly feral and chipped as I tried to get my brush through my disheveled hair. “I don’t know—I don’t want this to turn into…”

He sat up, letting the sheets fall to his waist. “Into what?”

I hopped up and down as I tried to wriggle into my work pants, while still desperately trying to pacify my hair. “Um, a habit.”

“Huh?” he said, getting out of bed fully starkers and standing in the sunlight as it beamed off his tight bod.

I looked him up and down, “You’re not shy, are you? Your jeans are over there.” I pointed to the pile of rubble at the end of my bed. “Good luck—don’t be surprised if you come across a roach, this place is icky… I really should tidy more.”

I hurried forward and gave him a peck on his soft, boyish face. “I’m really late, Josh. I can’t get fired, or I’ll be living in a cardboard box outside the Duomo! Please help yourself to some breakfast if you want, and just be sure to give the door a big yank on your way out.”

“How long will you be at work?” he asked, pulling on his college t-shirt.

I ran out the door and said behind me, “Eight, nine hours. I don’t know—depends on the boss and her mood; she’s pretty crabby. Bye!” I waved playfully as he stood there with the same lost look plastered across his face that I had seen the night before.

Weeks passed, and Josh did turn into a habit.

A boyish, bonking habit.

Although he put the spring back into my step, and the blue haze I had been stuck in lifted when I was around him, I just couldn’t get Danny out of my mind.

His masculinity,

His roughness
,

His being
,

His…

Everything.

“So?” Jess smiled at me, almost Cheshire cat-like.

I tried to play dumb. “So… what?”

She elbowed me in the ribs playfully. “How are you getting on with Lambo boy?”

I laughed. “Oh, um… he’s young.”

“Keen, though—right?”

I blushed. “Yeah, he’s keen. He went and bought a Kama Sutra book a week or so ago and has been wanting to try out all the moves. He reckons he’s learning a lot and is…”

“Is what?” She leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands, eagerly waiting for my next word.

I shrugged, giggling. “Grateful?”

She smiled widely. “Do you like him?”

“He’s really young, Jess. It’s not like this is really going to go anywhere. But you know, he’s a good kid. He’s not a mind-fucker, you know? What you see with him is pretty much what you get, and I like that. He’s a really lovely guy.”

She smirked at me, leaning forward as her charm bracelet jingled. “Have you been bonking like rabbits?”

I covered my ears playfully. “Jess. Stop! You’re so graphic.”

“You have, haven’t you!” she clapped her hands, laughing gleefully.

“We’ve had quite a lot of sex, yeah. It’s been fun—I do like him.”

And I did. If I could have put myself in a freezer to stop the aging process so he could catch up to me, I would have. He was a sweet kid. But that was the problem—he was a
kid
. A baby-faced, sweet puppy dog. And I wanted a big, sexy, know-what-I’m-doing, know-what-I-want-to-do-to-
you
kind of man. I wanted Daniel.

I couldn’t get him out of my mind. No matter how much I rode brown eyes, or how desperately Josh tried to get me horny, even though it was good—it wasn’t
that
good. Compared to Danny, we weren’t even having sex. What Danny and I did that night, was raw, untamed—hot. How I wanted him—
it
—back, and the feeling of him inside of me. Even though months had passed, part of me could still feel him there, and I badly wanted every glorious inch of him back.

Sunday morning
rolled round, and as per our unspoken routine, Jess and I caught up.

“My gosh, I’ve been seeing you a lot lately! How many times has it been this week—three?” I laughed as she wrinkled up her nose at my question. “Guess you’re making up for my hermit weeks, huh?”

She rolled her eyes as she passed me a takeaway cup. “I got you a latte, darling. It’s not in a glass, though. Do you think you’ll survive?”

I shook my head, exhaling. “Yes, yes, very funny, pass it here.” There had been a continuing joke that followed me around like a bad smell. Many years back, Jess and I took a road trip together through the back blocks of Italy, ending up in a very derelict little town. I had gone into the first and only café on the main street and asked for a latte in a glass. The woman stood and scoffed at me, stating, “We don’t have glasses, but I can make you one in a cup—it will taste the same.” I wasn’t impressed, and neither was she.

“I grabbed the paper too,” Jess was gushing. “God look at his face, he’s soooo hot, I’d do him any day. That lucky cow, being attached to him!” She flopped herself back on my bed, waving her legs in the air like a school kid. “Imagine, you could buy a designer handbag every single day. He probably has six platinum cards!”

She started reading out loud whilst bouncing up and down in excitement. “Our wedding is going to be a small affair,” she coughed, gasping for air, her eyes popping out of her head as she continued to read. “Five hundred guests will join us at a twilight ceremony at the Castello Sforzesco, followed by an intimate dinner at the Four Seasons Hotel Milano. The bride will be wearing a silk Vera Wang ivory gown, and the groom has had a custom-made Leonard Logsdail suit flown in for the occasion. The wedding will be on May 1.”

I grinned, watching Jess and her silliness, as I relished in the divine taste of crushed beans in my mouth. “What
are
you going on about, Jess?”

She sat upright on the mattress her bright blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

I dissolved into laughter with a quizzical look on my face “Jess, who are you talking about? Another WAG to be, huh? There are
so
many famous people wandering round at the moment, it’s hard to keep track of them all. It seems all you need to do to become famous is make a sex tape.”

“Oooh, I should make one then!” She cackled, winking at me as she dropped the paper on the coffee table in front of my knees.

“Sexy, huh?” She smiled, ruffling her hands through her glossy, golden locks. “Imagine being with him.”

My face must have hit the floor.

It was him.
Again
. On the front page.

I flipped over the paper in a wave of panic, hiding his face as I stood up and walked into the kitchenette. I went there for absolutely no reason, other than to get as far away as possible from his printed face.

“Oh my god!” she shrieked, jumping up and down in hysteria.

I turned to look at her with tears welling in my eyes.

“You’ve had sex with Daniel Anderson!! And now he’s sending you roses every day!! I can’t believe it. You lucky mole! What’s he like? I want to know everything.”

I bit my lip, shaking my head. “I can’t do this, Jess,” and I stepped out onto the balcony, leaving her alone as she bounced up and down on the broken tiles inside. As my tangled hair blew around, unaffected by my lingering thoughts, I wrapped my arms around me to ward off the cool air that cut through my bones.

Now with a plan to escape, I sashayed inside and straight to the grey wooden wardrobe next to my bed. Getting down on my hands and knees, I pulled out my father’s old suitcase from under it. The day he walked out, he never even bothered to pack.
Thanks, Dad,
my mocking mind uttered.

“What are you doing?” Jess quizzed, looking perplexed.

“Packing,” I said as I threw clothes into my suitcase.

Her voice got excited, “Are you going away on a secret rendezvous with him?”

My green eyes shot her a glare of anger “No!” Within a split second my emotions changed, and I dropped my shoulders in sadness. “I just need to get away.”

“Where are you going?”

“I haven’t decided. Um… Paris? How does that sound?”

“Do you want me to come with?” she asked, concerned.

“No sweetie,” I whispered. “I just need to be by myself and think.”

“How long do you reckon you’ll be gone?”

“I don’t know—just a few days probably. I will have run out of money by then anyway.”

Jess nodded.

“I’ll stay at a cheap backpackers—I promise, I’ll call you when I arrive, so you know I’m ok.”

Jess walked over to me cautiously, treating me as if I were a wildebeest she didn’t want to startle, for fear I may charge. She watched me frantically chucking clothes into the suitcase, which must have appeared as a blur in front of her eyes. “Do you love him?” she whispered.

My voice splintered into shards of sadness. “Please, Jess, don’t. Can you give me a lift to the train station?”

She put her arms around me and squeezed tightly. “I can do anything you need me to do. You know I’m always here for you—no matter who you’re with.”

She grabbed her car keys off the bench and smiled at me lovingly, rubbing me on the back. “Let’s go, missy.”

I smiled with relief. “Thanks, Jess—I really appreciate it.”