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My body’s completely spent, and my knee is screaming at me to move, but I just can’t find the motivation to remove myself from Tanner’s embrace. I don’t want to experience the feeling of loss that will come when he pulls himself out of my body. I have no idea if I was able to convey any of my feelings to him, and I have no idea if he’s going to kick me out of here as soon as we get up. I feel him stir under me, and panic starts to take over. My hands cling to him of their own volition, desperate to hold on to anything that they can.

“It’s okay, baby.” He chuckles, kissing my head. “I know that you can’t be comfortable like this. I just want to move you to give you room to stretch your leg.” He shifts under me, his cock falling from my body, which elicits a whine of protest from me. Tanner rolls us onto our side and pulls me flush against his chest.

I instinctually bury my face in the crook of his neck and inhale deeply. He smells like home. There has never been a scent more comforting. Ever. His hands run up and down my back in a loving way, giving me hope.

“I do love you,” I tell him. I need him to understand that I truly do.

“I’m starting to see that.” He sighs into my hair.

“I don’t think I ever stopped. I needed to turn that love into hate because I was angry—angry at you at first and then just angry at the world. A hundred hours of therapy kicked in this morning, making me see everything I’ve been trying to avoid —you included. I can’t begin to apologize for all the terrible things I’ve done and said to you over the last six months. Nothing will ever make that okay.” I feel the tears coming back again, and I promise myself this will be the last time I cry over the time we’ve lost together.

“Shh,” he whispers. “It’s not as though I didn’t play my part in this, Ashley. I’m just as culpable as you are.”

“I really want to kill that stupid bitch friend of yours,” I say, my voice full of anger. “Most of this is her fault. Things probably would’ve never gotten so bad if she hadn’t planted those awful thoughts in my head.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. Why do you think I kicked her ass to the curb? I would’ve never asked you do something like that. Although, as I’ve already told you, it hurts to know you could actually think that low of me. I know I was an ass, but I’d liked to think you’d see through that crock of shit.” I hear the hurt in his voice, and I know that misjudgment is just another thing I have to try to make right.

“I know. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before… but no one likes a Monday morning quarterback, Tanner,” I say hoping to lighten the mood. It’s not as though we can fix everything all in one day. It’s going to take time.

My comment gets a laugh out of him before he says, “I think you misunderstood me earlier.”

My stomach drops. I push back from my warm spot against his chest to look at him, frightened that even after all we’ve just shared, he’s actually done with me.

“No, no, no,” he says, shaking his head. “I mean, when I said, ‘You did this.’”

I give him a perplexed look, having no idea what he’s talking about.

“I was referring to the press conference you gave earlier today. Davis called me and told me to turn on the TV because there was something on I might want to see.”

“Oh,” I say. “I’m sorry if that was going too far, but there was no way I was going to let that fucking twat ruin the foundation for you. I can’t believe they would actually think something like that was true. For a bunch of educated people, they’re really a bunch of idiots.”

“I can’t believe you did that for me. You were honestly the last person I’d ever have expected to speak up for me.”

No matter how true that statement is, it’s still hurts. This man who has done everything within his power to help me piece my life back together couldn’t allow himself to believe he could count on me.

“I know, Tanner, but that’s on me, not you. I know I have a lot to make up for.” I sigh, nestling in closer to him, still afraid that, at any moment, this will all disappear.

Epilogue

Tanner

2 years later

“I love it when you get all demanding,” I tell Ashley, nuzzling her neck and kissing that spot she loves so much under her ear.

“I know. You’ve only got yourself to blame. You’ve created a monster,” she says, the smile evident in her voice.

“I love my monster.” I smile at my wife. “Don’t you have some business to take care of?”

“I knew there was an ulterior motive to you waking me up with your head between my legs,” she says, sitting up to stretch.

The sheet falls from her shoulders in the process, revealing her torso and giving me a view of the most beautiful sight in the world. I could stare at her for hours, and I find myself completely entranced by her more often than not.

Memories of her in her wedding gown flash through my mind. She’s beautiful every day, but on that day, her beauty shone through in ways I’d never seen before. Her hair had been clipped to the side and curled, framing her flawless face. Her eyes had practically glowed, the color of the ocean. She’d worn a smile so big her happiness was undeniable. I cried like a baby as soon as I saw her standing there at the end of the aisle. That day has been years in the making.

I wish I could say that everything had been rainbows and sunshine for us after we’d gotten back together, but it wasn’t. We’d had a lot of things to overcome before we could move forward. After the press conference, things had started to look up for us, but neither one of us was naïve enough to believe everything would just fall back into place.

After careful consideration, the foundation had found it was in their best interests to keep me on as their main spokesman. My fans had been outraged that they were even considering removing me based solely on a terrible rumor. Ashley had been a damn good actress. We both know that Melissa was right, even though Ash still denies it was my fault. Countless hours of therapy together still haven’t convinced me otherwise.

Ashley had insisted I join in her therapy sessions, so we could start healing together. It was hard at first, admitting to a total stranger that I was the reason for all of Ashley’s struggles. They both attempted repeatedly to help me understand that fate has its own plans despite our best intentions. I’d eventually agreed with them just get to them to lay off, but deep down, I know this is my cross to bear. Ashley was right about one thing though: Daniel was a gift. Even though his life ended tragically before it had even begun, he brought Ashley back to me—well, him and that fucking bitch Melissa.

Ashley and I ran into her once after the fallout from all the turmoil she’d caused, and she’d been shocked to see us together. I could tell Quinn has really rubbed off on her because Ashley had smiled the sweetest fake smile, thanked Melissa for bringing us back together, and then proceeded to show off the huge, princess-cut solitaire I’d given her when I’d asked to her to marry me. The satisfaction we’d gotten from the look on Melissa’s face was indescribable.

“Are you coming?” Ashley calls from the bathroom.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I most definitely will not miss this experience ever again. “How long do we have to wait?”

“Three minutes.” She smiles. “Are you nervous?”

“Not at all,” I say, coming to stand behind her at the bathroom counter, watching the plastic test that could change our lives resting right in the middle of it.

“Why does three minutes have to be so long?” she asks.

We decided about three months ago that it was time to try to add to our family again. Ashley had been disappointed when it didn’t happen during the first two months, but I told her it would happen when it was meant to and not to worry. The hope had been obvious in her eyes when she told me last night that her period was two days late. I’d immediately grabbed her hand and dragged to her to the car. We grabbed just about every test in stock from the shelf at the pharmacy, but the instructions on the boxes all seemed to be written in a foreign language. I’d wanted to her take one as soon as we got home, but she said that it was best to wait until morning.

I woke up this morning earlier than usual, too excited to sleep, so I’d decided to wake Ash up with a few orgasms. What better way could there be to start off the day than with some bliss and hopefully a baby?

I chuckle and take her hand. “It’s only three minutes, baby, and two of them have gone by already.”

“I can’t look. Can you look and then let me know?” she asks, turning away from the counter and wrapping herself around me.

I glance over her shoulder, looking at the window on the test, where the results are waiting.

I drop to my knees and kiss Ashley’s bare stomach, a stomach that’s now holding the most precious thing in world.

“Hello, baby. I’m your daddy.”

Acknowledgments

Where do I even begin?

There’s been so much love and support behind this book. Never in a million years did I think people would embrace Tanner and Ashley in the way they have and I thank each and every reader from the bottom of my heart.

My biggest thank you goes to amazing Isabelle Richards!! You have been the biggest help anyone could ever ask for!! I couldn’t have gotten any luckier the day Facebook brought us together!! You’re the best support system anyone could ever ask for and you happen to be one the most amazing people I’ve ever met! Thank you for being such a rock star!!

Thanks to my hubby for being a huge support! I’ve changed careers as often as I change my underwear and he’s always been supportive no matter how crazy the new career I set my sights on can be. Love you!

Yolanda Ann, Deanna Hill, Terri Peterson, and my street team, THANK YOU for taking your time to pimp out my book simply because you liked it!! It’s so amazing to have so many people in my corner!!

Thank you to Ena and Enticing Journey Promotions for working your asses off putting together my blog tour, cover reveal, release blitz and thunderclap!! You absolutely rock and I’m so glad I chose you to promote my books!!

Xoxo

An Excerpt from
Hate to Love You

Isabelle Richards

Releasing September 10, 2015

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Damn! A freaking scuff on my
Manolos
. When a pair of shoes costs three grand, they should come with some sort of scuff protection. I think I’d pay ten grand for shoes with that guarantee.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Who the hell is this sofa designed for? My feet can barely reach the ground, and I’m 5’8”, most of it in my legs. I thought these places were supposed to make you comfortable. I can’t relax on this couch. It just makes me want to get out of here even faster.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I’ve never noticed how loud a clock can be when you’re sitting in tortured silence. I can’t take this much longer.

“So how does this work, exactly?” I ask, breaking the insufferable tension. “We’ve been staring at each other for the past twenty minutes. You’ve got a pretty sweet gig here if all you do is look at people in awkward silence all day.”

Dr. Clawson smiles as she leans back in her beige overstuffed arm chair. “Arianna, you’re supposed to start. Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

I shrug, looking down at the tips of my blond hair. Damn, I need a trim. “Nothing at all. I don’t have anything to share. I’m still not sure I see the point in this. No offense to your profession, but I’ve never found value in therapy. I know many people swear by it, but I don’t think I’m a good candidate. I have everything in my life under control.”

“Okay, why don’t you tell me why you’re here then?” she asks.

She holds a legal pad and pen, which makes me uncomfortable. I have no desire to share anything with her, let alone have her mark it down for the record. Nothing about her posture or presence is warming me up to bare my deepest, darkest secrets.

I take a sip of my water and place it on the table next to me. “Why am I here? I was completely opposed to the idea of therapy, but my fiancé’s mother demanded I see someone. She and Henrik are both convinced I’m stressed, and they wouldn’t stop badgering me until I made an appointment. So, here I am.”

“Are you stressed?” the psychologist asks.

I run my fingers along the stitching of her bright red leather sofa. “Well, sure. Who isn’t stressed? I’m engaged, which comes with its own issues…”

“Weddings are often stressful. Are your parents supportive?” she asks.

“Yes, of course. The planning has been slow going, but Daddy’s great about it.” I smile condescendingly at her. “My mother passed away when I was young, but you probably know that already.”

“Your mother’s passing was a highly publicized event. That must have been difficult for you.”

I wave my finger back and forth and cluck my tongue. “My parents are not up for discussion. My mother’s death has been reported
ad nauseam. We both know you know the details. If you don’t, feel free to google it when I leave. Regardless, we don’t need to dredge it up.
”

“Both your parents are very public personalities, which has put you in the public spotlight your whole life. That must have been very challenging.”

I sit up straighter and push my shoulders back. “That isn’t why I’m here. Let’s just stay on track, shall we? My father is amazing. In fact, my whole family is amazing. I have no complaints. They are not the cause of my stress.”