Unsocial (15 page)

Jax
and I are sitting on the couch in the living room, beers in hand and watching
TV, when I hear the doorbell. “Did you order food or something?”

He
shakes his head, “No. Think it’s the kid?”

“No
way, he’s not due for an hour.”  I stand up and answer the door. Brooke is
standing there with a girl I’ve never seen before. She looks about Brooke’s age
and has her hair dyed dark red with a nose ring and piercings up and down each
ear. Not a chick I would expect to be with her. “Brooke? What are you doing
here?”  I answer the door and take in her huge smile, then just as quickly it
disappears.
What in the hell?

“Cassie
called in a panic. She’s having some trouble getting ready.” She points to her
friend. “This is Alexandra, my roommate. Alex, this is Dylan Monroe.”

Her
friend grins a wicked smile at Brooke, “Well damn, Brooke, now I get why you’ve
been spending Tuesdays ‘cooking’ here.”

Brooke
nudges her friend looking embarrassed as hell, which I find oddly adorable.
“Well come on in.”

They
walk in, and Jax comes in the room.
Oh, shit don’t say anything stupid,
asshole.
“Dylan, I didn’t know we were having company. Especially fucking
hot-as-hell company. I should never have worried about you losing your touch.”

“Shut
up, Jax. This is Brooke, the social worker, and her friend, Alexandra.”

He
holds out his hand to Alex first turning on the charm, “Hey, darlin’ it’s real
nice to meet you.” Just for the record, despite how Jackson sounds speaking to
Brooke’s friend, he is
not
a southern gentleman.

She
grins at him, “Nice to meet you too.”

And
then he turns to Brooke, “This is Brooke?”

I
nod, “Uh, yeah.”

Brooke
smiles at him, “I finally meet the famous Jackson.  I’ve heard so much about
you from Cassie and the other kids. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

He
looks Brooke up and down. “Ditto. I’ve heard a lot about you from Dylan here, of
course, he left a few things out.”

“Oh?”

I
quickly change the subject before Jax says anything else. “Hey, Cassie is in
her room. I’m sorry she called you on your weekend.”

Brooke
answers, but doesn’t look at me. “It’s no problem; I told her to call if she
needed me.  She’s having trouble fixing her hair, and Alex is a hair stylist,
so she’s kind of good at that.”

Alex
grins, “Kinda good? Please, I’m the best. So where’s Cinderella’s room? We have
to get this girl ready before Prince Charming gets here.”

I
move aside so Brooke and her friend can come in, “Brooke can show you.”  They
head down to Cassie’s room and Jax just stands there staring at me. “What?”

“That’s
Brooke? Are you fucking joking? That’s the uptight bitch that you described as
an over-fifty-something hag?”

“I
never said anything to you about her age, and she is….was uptight.  She’s
relaxed a lot over time.”

“You
painted a totally different picture, Dylan.”

I
go back to the couch hoping he will drop it. I don’t want to tell him how
gorgeous I think Brooke is. I don’t want him thinking there’s anything going on
between us, not even this insane attraction, and I sure as hell don’t want him
hitting on her.

An
hour later the doorbell rings again, and I get up to get it, knowing that this
time it’s Brent.

I
open the door, and a kid stands in my doorway, but this isn’t a kid.  So I’m
just standing here glaring at him, which obviously makes him a little uneasy.
“Uh, hi sir. I’m Brent, Cassie’s date.”

I
grunt and move out of the way so he can walk in, “Cassie will be out soon.” Now
to fuck with him, “Are you a freshman like Cassie, Brent?”

Of
course,
I know the answer to that, “Uh, no I’m a junior.”

Jax
walks in to join us, and this kid’s eyes bug right out of his head. Good, he’s
scared shitless. He should be. Jax looks him up and down. “A junior? What the
fuck do you want with a freshman?”

Brent
stutters hard now, “Uh, well I like her. I mean she’s nice and pretty and
sweet.” 
Yadda, yadda, yadda
.  I’m not impressed by his stuttering and
rambling. 

Jax
is clearly amused, “Yeah. She’s all of those things. She also happens to be a good,
innocent girl, and I stress innocent, and she better stay that way.”

The
kid pales to paper white and wipes his forehead.  He should probably check his underarms
as well.  Jackson almost scared me with that threat.  When Cassie comes up the
stairs wearing her brand new burgundy dress, with her hair and makeup finished,
her date’s jaw hits the floor. I swear his eyes are going to fall out of his
head. He looks comical, and I would laugh, but I’m still playing the “don’t
fuck with my sister role” I don’t want him even think about trying anything
with her.  I have to admit, though; she looks beautiful, and I feel sick
watching Brent examine her. “Hi, Brent. I’m sorry I’m late.”

He
grins like a goofy fucking idiot, “No problem.  Oh, and you look beautiful.”

She
smiles and spins around, “Thank you. Are you ready to go?”

He
nods, “Yeah.”

Brooke
stands behind Cassie and clears her throat getting her attention.  “Cass, don’t
you want to make introductions.”  They communicate silently for a minute.  Then
she turns Brent to face the rest of us again. 

“Sorry. 
Brent, this is my brother, Dylan and his friend Jackson.  Guys, this is Brent. 
And this is Brooke and her friend Alex.  Everyone this is Brent Conner.”

I
look him dead in the eye, “Have her back here at eleven, not one second later.
You hear me?”

He
nods, “Yes, sir.”

Cassie
hugs me, and leaves with him, Brent, my new enemy.

Brooke
and Alex stand in the foyer with Jax and me as we watch them pull out of the
driveway.  Alex looks at me, “Your sister is gorgeous.  She’ll be beating them
off with a stick.”

Jax
and I growl, and Brooke laughs, “You two settle down.  All you can do now is
trust her to make the right decisions, and I’m sure she will.”

I
nod trying to remind myself that Cassie is good, smart, and hopefully between
mine and Brooke’s lectures terrified enough not to let her date touch her.

Jax
moves next to Alex, “So what do you girls have planned for tonight?”

Alex’s
tone turns flirty, “Absolutely nothing.  Another night at home with movie and
wine.”

Then
Brooke speaks up, “Actually, we have a lot to do remember?”

Alex
rolls her eyes at Brooke, “Nope, I don’t remember.  The only thing we discussed
was another Friday night with movies and wine.  Nothing’s changed that I know
of.”

I
look at Brooke, “You guys can hang out with us for a bit.  We don’t have wine,
but we have plenty of beer and Netflix.”  I’m positive Brooke will say yes
tonight.  After last night’s text, she has to be up for hanging around, plus we
have chaperones.

Brooke
shakes her head, “I’m sorry. I have a ton of work to do. We have to get going,
but thank you.”

She
pulls her friend out the door; Jax tells them bye while I stand there
completely stunned. 
What the actual fuck?
  Last night she said she
wanted to spend time hanging.  We had friends here so nothing could have
happened other than actually drinking and watching a movie.  Why the complete
turnaround from her texts?  As they pull out of the drive, Jax looks over at
me, “Damn, she is uptight. But as gorgeous as she is, I bet it would be the hottest
thing ever to watch her loosen up.”

“I
don’t fucking get it.  I’ve been trying to get her to hang out with me more,
and last night she texted and said she wanted to.  She even invited herself to
dinner after we cook Tuesday, and now she just walks out the door.”  I look at
Jackson, and he’s got a face I’ve never seen before for the simple reason it
keeps changing from,
uh, oh
to
oh, shit. 
“What, goddammit?”

“So
you’re into Brooke?”

Shit,
shit, shit.  “Maybe….yes….I mean, maybe.  Hell, you saw her, she’s beautiful.  I
want her, but she’s so fucking worried about crossing some stupid professional
line.  It’s driving me batshit crazy.”  I turn to the still open door. “Tuesday
I all but begged her to stay, man.  She shot me down with her career bullshit. 
I couldn’t even fucking look at her when she left.  Then last night she texted
me and said she wished she would have stayed.  I thought this would be a great
time to hang with you and her friend being here, but then she just walked out. 
No fuck that, she all but ran, and she wouldn’t even look at me.  What the
fuck?”

“What
the hell, man, I’ve never seen you act like this.  Is this just a girl you want
to bang or are you talking about an actual relationship?  I mean, like the
fucking no one else, call me when you get there, happily ever after kind of
relationship.  Because seriously, that’s the kind of girl Brooke is, and that’s
not your type.  And I have no doubt that last night she probably did want to
spend some time with you, but, dude, you seriously cannot ask a girl to hang
with you when you’ve got hickeys all over neck from some other chick.  That is
not fucking cool.”  He gives me his ‘let’s be serious look’ which he rarely
shares, “Look, Dylan, I know I told you to play nice, but think about it.  This
could fuck everything up with you getting guardianship.  Relationships aren’t
your thing anymore than they are mine, and if you hurt Brooke, well, you should
know how twisted chicks can get when their heart gets broken.”

I
think about what he’s saying.  Honestly, I haven’t thought that far ahead.  I
know I want her in my bed.  I know I love being around her.  But what if we
hook up.  I have no idea how I will feel afterward because all I know are ‘thank
you’ and ‘goodbye.’  After the fucking, I’m running out the door.  But with Brooke,
I couldn’t do that.  Fuck, now I’m more confused than I’ve ever been in my
life, and Jax is pissing me off with this logical bullshit.

I
turn to look back out the still-open door, hoping she would change her mind and
turn around, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I yell into the night.  Knowing Jackson has
absolutely no idea how relationships work, I still ask, “What do I do?”

“I
don’t know, man, I just don’t know.  But if you think about it, maybe you want
her because she turned you down.  No one ever says no to you, and now it’s
become all about the chase.”

He
seriously needs to shut the fuck up because I can’t twist my head around all
this.  How can I want her so much just for it to be a one-time thing or
something I have to prove because she won’t give into me? I don’t want to think
about what Jax is saying.  I don’t want to think he’s right.  I don’t want to think
about the look I saw on Brooke’s face before she left, especially now that I
know why the look was there. What it was that wiped the smile off her face
after I answered the door. She knows about last night, and it’s ripping me
open.  But I nod at Jax to shut him up.  I don’t need to hear any more about
what a fuck up I would be in a relationship with Brooke.  But one question
keeps playing on repeat.

Goddammit,
how am I going to fix this?

Brooke

I
can’t get to my car fast enough.  I feel the sting behind my eyes letting me
know, that me curling up and balling like a damn baby isn’t too far off. 
Somehow I manage not to slam my car door because I won’t give him the
satisfaction.  Alex slides in the passenger seat, “What the hell, Brooke. 
What’s your fucking hurry, and do I need to mention that was rude?”

We
just need to go, Alex, okay.”  I’m hoping she’ll just let this drop.  I can’t
even think straight.  I can’t figure out all the shit going through my mind
right now, and I can’t make sense of why I care at all that Dylan has a fucking
hickey.  Do I need to remind you, two days ago he was moving in on me, asking
me to have dinner with his family, kissing my neck, holding me close to him, I
don’t get it.  What?  Did he just get mad that I turned him down? Did it not
mean anything, because I swear that he seemed hurt that I left?  Why the hell
do I care?  I’m his social worker, nothing more.  It can never be anything
more.

I
should have never let myself get close to this family.  I should never have
offered to run to their aid every time they called or texted.  And the cooking
lessons, really, Brooke, since when do social workers give damn cooking lessons
to their clients.  When do they help them shop for dresses?  How did I let this
happen?  No more.  I’m a professional, and I can’t, no, I’m
not
going to
risk my career because my client can’t keep his dick in his pants.  Again, why
do I care?

I
realize Alex is still whining about having another Friday night staying at
home, but it’s not like I’ve forced her to. “Seriously Brooke, I don’t
understand why we couldn’t just stay for a little bit. Have a couple of beers
and kick back.

“Because
it’s totally unethical to drink with Dylan.”

“Are
you being serious right now?  For weeks, you’ve been jumping and running every
time he calls.  Do I need to remind you about cooking lessons, dress shopping,
and what about tonight?  As soon as you got the call from Cassie, you couldn’t
get there fast enough.  So exactly what do you consider ethical?  And why
haven’t you mentioned how hot he is?  Oh, and his friend.  Oh, my God, I could
kill you right now for making me leave.”

Yeah,
Jax is good looking.  He’s a massive guy with tattoos on every visible part of
his body that I could see.  He’s got that short, sexy military haircut, and
he’s just the kind of guy that would attract Alex.  I know why she’s pissed. 
But right now I just wish she would stop.  “Sorry Al, but my clients’ friends
aren’t going to be your match-making service, so just drop it.”

“Ouch,
my friend.  Why are you so harsh all of a sudden?  It was just a drink and
movie.  There were kids there, so I doubt anything too inappropriate would be
happening.”

“All
the more reason not to stay.  How would it look to the kids if their social
worker hung out and drank beer with their brother and his friend?  Not good, I
promise.  I made the right choice by leaving.”

“Oh,
By-The-Book-Brooke is alive and well.  Again, why have you never told me how
gorgeous he is?  Seriously, I don’t know how you do it.  But I damn sure get
why you come running when he calls.  He’s a serious eyegasm if I’ve ever seen
one.  Now I get why you never go out with me anymore.  Seeing him once or three
times a week is plenty of material for your fantasy hookups.”

I
grip the steering wheel tightly, “Alex, stop.  I just can…. don’t see him that
way. He’s my client, period.” 

I
can feel her irritated gaze on me, “Brooke, come on.  Any other time we would
be laughing about this.  Why are you so angry?”

“Okay,
he’s fucking hot, does that make you happy?  But he’s one hundred percent, off
limits. He’s a client, and if anything happened between us, I could lose my
job.  End of story.”

“What
do you mean, ‘if anything happened between you two’?  I wasn’t suggesting you
get together, it was a drink, you know, kind of like all those dinners you cook
together.” There is a moment of silence, and then she says, “So be straight
with me, have you thought of
being
with him?”  I continue staring out
the windshield, and my silence is more telling than anything I could say. She
persists. “Brooke, have you?”

“No,
”
I say emphatically.

“Then
why are you acting so defensive?  Don’t think I didn’t notice how excited you
were to get there, and it all evaporated, just like that,” she snaps her
fingers to emphasize.

“He
has a hickey,” my voice is barely a whisper.

“No,
he has several hickeys.  He’s a player, so what.” 

The
saying that ‘silence speaks volumes’ is not lost on my best friend.  It doesn’t
help the fact that she knows me so well.  “Oh, wow.  I’m so sorry, honey.  I
get he’s gorgeous and being around him has to be torture, but to have a crush
on him?  You know that….”

“A
crush?  Really, Alex?  That’s so high school, and this is not fucking high
school, damn it.  This is adulthood, and it sucks.  Yeah, I find him
attractive, and yeah, I’ve thought about it more times than I care to, but
we’ve never actually crossed the line.  I just need to forget this.”

“So
this attraction isn’t just one sided?  What are you not telling me?”

“No,
not one sided.  He’s asked me to stay and eat with them.  Tuesday night he
asked over and over again, but I kept telling him no.  I wanted to Alex.  It’s
gotten so damn hard to keep up this professional barrier week after week.  And
when he pulled me back against him and kissed my neck I almost did give in. 
It’s just getting so damn hard to keep fighting this anymore.  And what,
because I said, no, he just goes off and gets laid?”

“Wait,
hold the fuck up.  He kissed you?”

“On
the neck, while we were cooking,” I clarify.

“Whatever.
That doesn’t even matter.  The point is he kissed you, knowing the trouble you
could get in…..”

“Yeah,
but I didn’t pull away.”

“Not
the point, well okay, it kind of is, but he kissed you, and what, did he say,
that he wanted to fuck you?”

“No,
but it was obvious when he held me, what he wants….wanted….whatever.  He kissed
me and tried to convince me to stay, and he was mad or hurt….I don’t even know,
maybe both, but he wouldn’t even tell me bye when I left.  Two days later he
has hickeys on his neck.  Obviously, that moment in time meant shit to him,
huh?”

Maybe
he was just horny, and I was convenient I mean right there in his house week
after week. My thoughts are interrupted by Alex.

“So,
you’re saying that you want it to have meant something.” That wasn’t a question
because she knows the answer.

“I
don’t even know anymore.  I don’t even know if I have the right to feel
anything about it.  I turned him down.  We’re not a couple.  He had every right
to……”

“Stop
fucking defending him, Brooke.  Obviously, he’s a pig.  Just forget this shit
and put distance between you and the Monroes.  Here’s what we’re going to do. 
We’re getting your ass out of the house.  From now on, you’re not going to set
around the apartment and hope that asshole calls with some stupid emergency. 
He’s a grown fucking man, let him figure it out.  We’re getting you back out
there, and we’re going to find you the perfect distraction from this bullshit.
It would have only been a disaster anyway. We should probably find the woman he
slept with and then thank her for leaving all the evidence in plain fucking
sight.  Seriously, what kind of man asks you to hang out with hickeys on his
neck, when he had just hit on you two days before?”

I
glance over at her.  She’s insane.  “No. I mean as much fun as finding a total
stranger to take home sounds,” I say sarcastically, “I have a ton of work to
do.”

She
laughs, “I wasn’t suggesting bringing anyone home tonight, just someone to
maybe go out on a date with and then eventually maybe bring him home. I know
you don’t do casual sex.”

I
roll my eyes. Alex talks a big game, but she’s not that promiscuous either. She
has a very strict three date rule that as far as I know she has never broken.
She’s never had a one night stand; that’s not to say, however, that she hasn’t
had some very short relationships that don’t last very long past the third
date.

I
pull my car into my designated parking space and head into our apartment. I go
straight to my room and work on some paperwork that I have been avoiding. At a
little after eleven, I get a text from Cassie.

Cassie:
OMG!!! I had so much fun tonight! What did you think of Brent?  Isn’t he cute? 
He was so nice.  

 I
smile, I love this girl. She sounds so damn happy. I definitely know why some
lines have blurred.  Cassie’s enthusiasm for life is too infectious to ignore. 
Now I wonder if giving her my personal cell number was smart, well not really. 
I know several of the social workers give their clients their numbers. But I
know I’m going to have to create some distance.  I can’t be her best friend and
keep Dylan at a distance as well, and I need that distance.  But Cassie is my
biggest ally when it comes to the Monroes, and we still have a long time to go
until this is over.  I know I have to be careful in pulling back so that she
doesn’t feel abandoned all of a sudden.

Me:
I’m glad you had fun. Are you home safe?

Cassie:
Yep. He dropped me off, and guess what?

Me:
What?

Cassie:
He kissed me! My first real kiss!

See,
here’s the thing.  Before tonight, I would probably have shared Cassie’s excitement
because your first kiss is important.  But I have let things slide too close to
the line of personal, and I just don’t know if this is what people normally
tell their social workers? And what the hell do you say to that? Congrats?
For
God’s sake, Brooke, why weren’t you this concerned when you helped her pick out
a dress or talked to her about going out on her first date?
I need to keep
this politely distant.

Me:
He seems like a nice boy. Are you going to go out again?

Cassie:
Yes, next Friday after the game.  But he asked me to have lunch with him this week.

I
smile because I remember that first big infatuation, the excitement of having a
boyfriend.

Me:
That’s so exciting, and I’m happy for you.  Just remember what we talked about,
and be careful. Don’t ever do anything you aren’t comfortable with just to
please him.

Cassie:
I won’t! I promise. Talk to you soon!

Me:
Night, Cassie.

I
settle in to get some sleep but end up tossing and turning the whole night.  I
can’t seem to think of anything but Dylan.  I go from him holding me and
kissing me to seeing those hickeys on his neck, and the hurt I felt like he had
betrayed me, which is such a stupid train of thought.  I don’t know a lot about
Dylan’s private life, except what Luke had told me, but I ignored that and
chalked what he said up to his angry attitude and trying to shock his social
worker. 
God, that seems so long ago.
  At that time, I just noticed how
insanely good looking Dylan was.  Now, it’s not just about his looks.  It’s
about all of him, or what he’s shown me.

My
mind goes to Cassie.  There’s so much I wanted to say to her.  So much I wanted
to ask her.  But I can’t.  Not anymore.  I need to remind myself I’m not just
Dylan’s social worker, so really I shouldn’t let lines blur with any of them. 
I need to fix my sight firmly back toward professionalism, despite all that’s
happened with them in the last couple of months.  I can’t afford to keep
heading toward personal territory, not without breaking my own heart that is.

I
get distracted when I get a call on my cell phone at four in the morning.
Janice is on the other end and needs me to pick a kid up at the police
station. 
Nice. 
Well, it’s not like I was sleeping.  Time to rescue
another troubled teen.

This
is
what I need to be concentrating on, my career as a social worker.  It’s
something that I’ve dreamed of for so long, and I’ve lost sight of why I worked
so hard to get where I am.  Somewhere in the last couple of months, I’ve put
all my focus on Dylan and his family.  Everyone else who crosses my path during
the day is just busy work.  My thoughts swirl with Tuesdays and cooking lessons
and being around Dylan and the kids.  Which reminds me, I need to cancel
cooking lessons.  Like Alex said, he’s a grown man, and he can figure it out.

Monday
comes too early.  It means another work week, and a day closer to Tuesday at
the Monroe house.  I’m worried, I won’t lie.  Dylan has sent a couple of texts,
and he even called once and left voicemails asking me to answer.  I just don’t
know why.  Why is it so important that I listen to him?  And then there’s
Cassie.  She texts me after every conversation with Brent, and I have to force
myself to keep my enthusiasm to a minimum to keep the professional distance
that I’m determined to get back.  It just makes me sad to do it.  I feel like
I’m letting her down, and I don’t like it.