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She hugs her back, "Hi, sweetie. How was your weekend?"

"Good." She’s smiling hugely.

I join them, and we do a quick meeting before Brooke has to gather
her stuff and go.  I feel the letdown immediately because thirty whole minutes
flew by in what felt like one. Every face in the room loses a little luster.
"Guys, I hate to run, but I have to go. I’m crazy busy right now, but next
week will be longer.  I’m happy to say you all are doing amazing.”

Michael asks her if she can, at least, stay for dinner, and she
sadly shakes her head, "I can’t stay for dinner tonight, but I will stay
next week if you will have me."

He grins, "Okay."

She doesn't stay to talk to me privately before she leaves like usual;
I guess she just counted our conversation at the beginning as that part of the
meeting. It does seem genuine, though, not like before when she was trying to
blow us off, and I'm grateful that shithead will be out of her apartment after
tonight.

The next week goes by without a hitch. I even receive a few texts
from Brooke, and she even calls once to check up. This Tuesday meeting is a lot
better. She's calm and taking her time to actually hang out with us.  She seems
happy and at ease, and that’s always how I like it the best. She even plays
with Toby and the kids after eating dinner with us.  She and Cassie tackle the
dishes while I help with homework. Based on the giggling I hear from the
kitchen, I’m guessing there’s a lot of girl talk going on. When it’s Gabby’s bedtime,
she helps me tuck her into after reading her a story.  The others have all gone
to their rooms. At eight, she and I tuck Gabby in and read her a story, and the
other kids go off to their rooms. Finally, Brooke and I are alone, and it’s
about damn time. "Well this is more like it, last week sucked."

She laughs, "I know, I'm sorry. I wanted to stay last time,
but it’s been so crazy."

I move closer to her and tuck a wild piece of hair behind her ear,
letting it linger longer than I should. "I understand. I'm glad you stayed
this time. You could stay a little longer you know."

She wants to, and God I want her to. She gives me a regretful
look, and I know it’s going to be a ‘no’ before she even says it, and I’m not
going to beg even though I want to. “I have to be in Olathe in the morning, so
I need to go.”

I consider this and have to wonder. "Why Olathe?”

“I have a new family, and the three kids are in Olathe with an
elderly grandmother.  I have to take the mother to go and get them and sign the
paperwork to transfer the case to me from the social worker there.  Hopefully,
I’ll be back by noon.” I study her and notice she does seem tired.  I know
she’s been picking up more and more cases and still trying to devote extra time
to us like she always has.

After she gathers her stuff from the living room, I walk her to
her car.  She leans against the door, so I take advantage and move in close. I
lean into the space just beneath her ear and breathe in. “God, Brooke, you
smell so good.” She sucks in a quick breath and shudders. I know she’s just as
affected by me as I am by her, and I’ll take that knowledge. I back away
letting her open her door. “Drive careful,” I tell her.  She leaves, and I
can't wait for next Tuesday to get here.

Thankfully the week passes fast.  Brooke and I have kept in touch,
much to my pleasure. She’s texted me funny quotes or stupid shit Alex says.  I
return the same kinds of texts letting her know the things the kids are up to.
I purposely keep from anything sexual or flirtatious.  I don’t know why I just
know I don’t want her to think it’s all about sex.

When Tuesday evening arrives, it goes much the same way as last
week.  This time, though I grill those burgers that I promised her while she helps
the kids with their homework.  She and Cassie tackle a home economics project
in her room that I don’t even want to know about because, well yeah, I’m just
not that guy.  See why we need Brooke around.  This time, when we leave Gabby’s
room, I’m lost in thought.  As I watched Brooke read her a story and put her to
sleep, domestic thoughts cross my mind. Thoughts I’ve never had in my 26 years
of life. And for the first time in the months since I’ve met Brooke, I want her
gone because I’m scared of the places my mind is visiting.

Then Brooke surprises the shit out of me by taking my hand and
leading to me the couch to sit down, pulling me down next to her.  I have to
wonder, why tonight of all nights? She looks slightly nervous, playing with the
fingers on my hand where it rest in her lap.
What the fuck is she up to?
Then she bites her bottom lip, and I lose all train of thought which leads me
to wonder if I hear her right when she ask "Do you have a little time this
Friday?"

I mentally shake my head, is she asking me out on a date? Well
hell, now I’m on board. "I have all the time in the world. What do you
have in mind?"

She laughs and shakes her head, "I mean to come in for a
meeting with my boss and me?"

"Shit. What did I do?"

She squeezes my hand reassuringly. "Nothing at all. In fact,
you guys have been doing so great that after reading my reports she thinks
maybe it's time to move to bi-weekly or monthly meetings."

Speechless.  I have nothing to say.  I know I should be happy, but
damn
. I'm filled with a sense of dread. Monthly meetings? So, could I
potentially only see Brooke once a month? I need to figure out what the hell I
can do so nothing changes. I’ve officially lost my fucking mind.  I’m actually
thinking about how I could fuck things up, and what, risk losing my family? 
Just so Brooke still comes once a week. What can I do to make sure she comes
every day? My chest tightens, and for a moment, I think I stopped breathing
because an absolute feeling of drowning is pulling at me. 
Goddamn, goddamn,
something is absolutely not fucking right about me.

Brooke stares at me worriedly and rubs my shoulder, "Dylan,
this is a good thing.  You’re so close now to getting permanent guardianship.”
 But
at what cost?
  I’m so fucking fucked.

"Okay. You’re right" I nod, not very enthusiastically,
but I do nod.

"Someone from the office will call you to set up the
appointment, and I'll see you then."

Since I’m still reeling from all the crazy shit swirling in my head,
I let her leave to see if all the craziness in me will follow her. I barely
even say goodbye, when earlier when she arrived all I wanted to do was kiss
her, strip her, and fuck her senseless.  But even after she’s gone, the
unwanted feelings don’t go away.

I walk into the social services building Friday afternoon and get
directed to a small meeting room next to the one Gabby, Brooke, and I played
with Paige's puppy. The door is open, and I see Brooke sitting with a woman who
must be her boss. Brooke notices me first and motions for me to come in.  I do
and then sit next to Brooke at the square table and across from her boss.
"Hello, Mr. Monroe. It’s a pleasure to meet you.  I’m Janice, Ms. Porter’s
supervisor.”

I nod politely, "Nice to meet you too."

Then Janice gets down to business. "First I just want to let
you know how impressed I am with the progress you have made in the past five
months. There have been a couple of small issues, which were to be expected,
but the positive outcome was exactly what we were looking for. The children seem
to be well adjusted and doing much better considering your family’s tragedy
which I find remarkable."

Brooke has taken the backseat in this meeting, so I address
Janice, "Thank you. We couldn't have done it without Brooke’s help, though;
she's very dedicated."

Brooke shifts slightly in her seat, and I wonder why that makes
her uncomfortable. I meant every word. Janice grins at Brooke and then at me,
"Yes, Brooke has proven to be a wonderful asset to our office. I’m also
glad that matching her up with your family has been beneficial for all of you. 
In many situations just like this things have a way of getting even
worse."

"I have to admit that at times
she’s gone above and beyond for us.”

"After reading through her work, I have to say she certainly
has done some astounding things outside of weekly meetings. Even after nearly
30 years in this office, I’ve not seen a social worker step up to the plate
like she has, but it’s all worked out so well for you that I’m glad she did go
the extra mile."  This surprises me a little. I didn't think everything we
have done would be in the file.

"I’m not here because she’s in trouble or anything am I? I
mean Brooke has been nothing but professional."

Janice looks slightly confused, "No, of course not. Whatever
Brooke has done it has clearly worked. You’ve just made such considerable
progress despite your circumstances.  In fact, it may be time to see less of
Brooke and let her give more attention to other clients. I assure you, Mr.
Monroe this is excellent news."

Yeah, fucking great
.
"Well, we aren't totally fixed yet, we still need some guidance."

I hope they don’t hear my desperation?

She nods, "Of course, and that's what the rest of the year is
for. We don’t want to halt or stall progress.  It’s just that the progress made
so far tells me that you’re able to handle things well."

She obviously knows nothing.

We talk for twenty minutes, and then Janice stands, so I stand.
"Thank you for meeting with us today, and I will let you know my decision
as soon as it has the judge’s approval. But you are heading in the right
direction."

She turns to Brooke, "I have to get going. I've got a meeting
with the Sawyers. I should have a decision by your meeting next Tuesday."

She leaves closing the door behind her, and Brooke stands up,
"That went well."

“Yeah. You think we’re going to move to monthly meetings?"

"I don't know. I would say it's more likely to be bi-weekly
for a while.”

I nod, wondering how long a while is. "So is she pissed that
you’ve helped us out so much or what?"

Brooke shakes her head, "No, not at all. We did have a long
discussion this afternoon, though, and she just thinks you guys may need less
attention. My client list has tripled over the last few months, and she wants
to make sure I'm spreading myself out."

"So what does this mean? No more helping the kids out? No
more staying for dinner with us?"

She looks a little sad and lost at the thought. Then she grins,
"Actually, I left the dinners out and some other stuff. And you know if
you need me you can always call."

I raise my eyebrow suggestively and step a little closer to her.
"Oh really?"

She laughs, “Yes, Dylan. If you need me, I’ll always try to be
there.” She promises.

"Damn, I like that promise." We laugh again, "So I
guess you'll let me know about her decision when you hear?"

"Yes. I’ll call you the second I know."

"Okay, oh and about Tuesday’s meeting do you think we could
do it in the morning?"

She looks curious and tries to joke, "Why do you have a
date?"

"No, I'm taking the kids to Oklahoma for the Christmas party
at the shop down there, and I'd like to leave early that day."

She looks bothered by that, "Oh, well that'll be fun. If you
need to cancel, we can."

"No. I don't want to cancel.” I add too quickly. “I decided
to take the kids to the party but promised we would be back by Christmas Eve.
Gabby was scared that Santa wouldn't be able to find her at the new house, so
there was no way I was gonna make her spend Christmas an entire state away. I
promised her Santa could find her anywhere, but that we would make it back
Christmas Eve.” Jax is pretty excited about it and booked two nice hotel
suites. Michael and Luke are staying in one with Jax, and I'm in the other with
Gabby, Cassie, and Toby.

Brooke smiles, "I'll check my schedule and call you, but I'm
sure we can figure it out. I want to wish the kids a Merry Christmas, and I may
have bought everyone gifts."

I laugh, of course, she has. "I can't believe it's just a
week away. You didn't have to do that."

"Yeah, I did.  You….you’re all special to me, and it’s their
first Christmas since the accident. I want to make sure it’s special."

"Thank you. They'll love it I'm sure."

I leave and go back to take care of things at the shop. I try to
picture what it will be like to only see Brooke once a month, and I don’t like
it.  In fact, the more I think about it, the more I come to hate it. When we
first met, I hated the idea of her being in our lives, and now I don’t want to
contemplate it. Just the days we go in between visits is becoming too long, but
going for weeks.  No, not happening.

The looming decision has driven me crazy, and by Monday when I
still haven’t heard anything from Brooke I’m nearly out of my mind. It was
everything I could do not to call her, but I’ve been practicing life without
Brooke every week.

Monday evening after dinner I'm in my room going over stuff for
the shop when Brooke’s name pops up on my phone. I answer holding my breath for
the answer, "Hello."