Unspeakable (17 page)

“Are you finished?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“What are you doing?”

I felt my cheeks heat, which was silly since he couldn’t see me. “I’m just lying here, waiting for you to finish.” I left out the part that I was enjoying listening to him breathe—that sounded a little like a freaky stalker.

“I’m finished,” he said. I could imagine him flipping his pencil into his book and flicking it close like he did at school.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked him.

“What are you wearing?” he whispered.

“Um, what?”

He laughed loudly into the phone. “I’m kidding, Willow,” he said when his chuckles faded.

“Oh, you were kidding? I was totally gonna to tell you if you told me…” I let my words trail off.

I heard him inhale. “Oh. Okay.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Kidding.”

“Bummer. I was hoping you were going to start telling me about your Victoria’s Secret lingerie.”

“Well, I am wearing this little pink—”

“Um, I think we need to move on to safer, more friend appropriate topics.”

I laughed. “Okay, you pick the topic.”

“You want to see a movie?”

“I can’t.”

“Do you have a TV in your room with satellite?” Brody asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. Turn to channel 235.”

Turning on my television, I flipped to the channel Brody suggested. “Oh, I’ve wanted to see this movie.” I pulled the blankets back on my bed and slipped under them, bunching the pillows behind my back.

“Good, I haven’t seen it yet either. We can watch it together.”

“Are you in bed?” I asked.

“Yeah.” His voice came out huskier than normal.

“Me, too. Hey, pause the movie for a minute.” An idea sparked, and a tingle of excitement ran through me.

“Okay. Why?”

“We should pop some popcorn. Do you have any?”

“Yeah,” he answered. I heard his blankets rustling through the phone as he climbed out of bed, and I had to force myself to stop imagining what he might look like. I really did want to ask him what he was wearing.

Stop it! Jeez.

“I can hear yours popping through the phone,” Brody said with a chuckle when we were standing in our separate kitchens, each waiting for our popcorn. “What kind is it?”

“Extra butter.”

“Yeah, mine too. What’s the point of eating it if there isn’t butter dripping off it?”

“I know, right? It should be a law that all popcorn has to be buttered,” I said, smiling when I heard Brody’s soft chuckle.

Popcorn made, we chatted as we made our way to our bedrooms and got comfortable before restarting the movie.

“This is new. It’s kinda fun. Only, there’s one thing missing,” Brody murmured.

“It is fun. What’s missing?” I was disappointed he wasn’t having as good a time as I was.

“You. I wish you were here, not there.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to say. I was glad he couldn’t see me because I was grinning like a fool. “Look at that. That is so ridiculous. There’s no way that could happen.”

“That’s why they call it entertainment, Willow. Movies defy the rules of everyday life.”

“Still, that’s just cheesy,” I said, tossing a piece of popcorn in my mouth.

“It’s a movie about zombie aliens. I think we passed cheesy a long time ago. Oh, look at her. Now we’re getting somewhere.”

“You’re such a perv.”

“What? I’m a guy and she’s hot. If she’s going to walk around naked, I’m gonna look and appreciate the fine job God did assembling her.”

“Ugh. Whatever.” I rolled my eyes.

“Stop rolling your eyes.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. I heard it in your voice,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh! What do we have here? My, my, my, I do believe we have the male species joining the bimbo in the shower. Mmm, he’s nice to look at. Great butt.” I sighed.

“Now who’s the perv?”

“Me. I never said I wasn’t.”

Brody laughed. “Good to know.” He cleared his throat, and his voice was a little huskier than normal when he said, “Love scene.”

For some reason, our easy teasing ended and we floundered for something to say. The television played a very hot love scene—how it got only an R-rating was a miracle. I watched it on my television, hearing the moans and sighs from Brody’s television echoing through the phone. Awkward.

I could hear every breath Brody took. I could tell when his breathing sped up. I heard the small groan he made and the rustle of blankets and I wondered what was making him uncomfortable, the love scene or watching it with me on the other end of the phone. I tried to keep my breathing steady, but it was hard listening to the changes in Brody’s and thinking of his reaction. I was glad we weren’t watching the movie in the same room because I would have embarrassed myself by throwing myself at him. Yeah.

“You want to know a secret?” I whispered.

I should stop talking now. Shut up! Shut up!

He sighed. “About you? Always.”

“I really do want to know what you’re wearing.” I bit my lip, waiting for him to say something. The sounds of the love scene still filtered through the phone.

“Mm. You’re making it very difficult for me to keep things G-rated between us,” he murmured.

“I know. I feel the same.”

“Fight scene. Ooh, did you see that arm fly across the screen?” Brody asked a little too loudly.

“Yeah. Gross.”

Finally. That love scene was killing me. I never thought I’d be so happy to see arms and legs blown off
.

“Willow? Willow?” I heard Brody call softly. “Wake up, beautiful. The movie is over.”

“Oh. I fell asleep. Crap, did I snore?”

Oh, how embarrassing. If I snored, I won’t be able to face him in the morning.

“No,” Brody murmured, “you didn’t snore. You sighed a few times. It was cute.”

“Okay. Good.”

“You did talk a little though.”

Oh, no.

“What’d I say?” I squeezed my eyes shut and cringed.

“Oh, just that you thought I was incredibly intelligent, handsome, and irresistibly sexy.”

My mouth dropped open. I tried to tell from his voice if he was kidding or not, but without seeing him, it was impossible to tell, and, the truth was, I did think all those things.

“I did not,” I said.

“Okay, if you say so.” He tried to hide it, but I could hear the smile in his voice, and I let out the breath I was holding.

“I need to go. It’s late.”

“Yeah. Goodnight, Willow.”

“’Night. Thanks for the movie.”

Wait, did he call me beautiful?

Thursday morning. I was so tired and was bitchin’ at myself for staying up so late. And then I remembered what I was doing and smiled. Movie night with Brody. I got goose bumps just remembering it.

Jaden and I had never done anything like that. He’d have thought it was stupid. We hardly talked on the phone, or even texted. But Brody and I had fun. It was easy. I didn’t have to try. I could be myself, and that was enough for him. Jaden always seemed to want more from me. I was never sure which girlfriend I was supposed to be when I was with him—the football-loving girlfriend, the attentive girlfriend that waited on him hand and foot, the girlfriend that gave him his space, the girly-girl, or the tomboy. He thought I should be able to fill any of those girlfriend types, and I should automatically know which one he expected me to be. I never felt like I could just be myself—that was never enough. I was never good enough. But Brody didn’t make me feel that way. He actually seemed to
want
to know the real me. Maybe even like the real me.

“Okay, what to wear today? Something that says,
Had a great time last night; next time, let’s do it in the same bed
? No, not a good idea.” I slid my shirts across the closet rod, looking for something to wear. Nothing jumped out at me. For once, I couldn’t find a sarcastic shirt that matched my mood. So I picked a black, long-sleeved T-shirt that had three, neon-green alien heads on the front. Beneath the aliens it read,
The aliens made me do it
.

When I walked into biology, Brody looked at me and laughed. “Huh. Just what did the aliens make you do?”

“I don’t think you could handle knowing what they made me do,” I said with a grin. When I bent over to hang my messenger bag over the back of my seat, I leaned over a little further than necessary so my mouth was near his ear. “I had a lot of fun last night.” My voice was soft and quiet, and I heard him draw in a deep breath. He turned his head, and our faces were just mere inches from each other.

“I did too. We’ll have to do it again.” He looked in my eyes. “But next time, I’d rather we be in the same bed.”

A small smile curved my lips, and I had force the next words out of my mouth because it wasn’t how I felt. At. All. “We’re just riding the friend bus, remember?” The truth was my ticket on the friend bus was about to expire. Every second I spent with Brody, he stole a piece of me. No, that wasn’t true. I opened my heart and invited him to take what he wanted. Piece by piece, I let him dismantle me and rearrange the pieces so I was whole again. Not the shell I’d let myself become. Brody was bringing me back to life.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember, but a guy can dream, right? And besides, since when do girls ask their guy friends what they’re wearing?” He smirked and winked.

I’m with Jaden. I need to keep reminding myself of that because Brody’s grins, smiles, and little comments make my heart twirl inside my chest and butterflies flutter inside my stomach. I’m starting to wish more than anything I was with him and not Jaden. But Jaden knows. He knows what she did. And he can’t tell. So what Jaden wants, Jaden gets.

The instructor walked into the room and saved me from answering. Since I didn’t know what to say, it was better to say nothing at all anyway.

I’d hoped for a movie day so I could sleep through class. I was so tired from staying up late the night before, but unfortunately, the teacher droned on about our next dissection. I hoped Brody was listening because I sure wasn’t. My mind was wandering, mulling over the comment he’d made.

About halfway through class, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I reached over and pulled his notepad toward me. At the bottom of the page, I wrote,
So, what’s the answer?

Twirling the notepad around so he could read it, I watched his face as his eyes skimmed across my note. A small smile touched his lips.

He leaned over, put his lips against my ear, and all but growled, “Just boxer briefs.”

“Mm, the torture,” I whispered. He pulled back and held my gaze a moment too long before returning his attention to the front of the class.

That’s it. I’m officially unable to concentrate on anything except the knowledge that I was talking to Brody while he was in just his boxer briefs while in bed! Why did I ask?

Brody and I teased and talked through our classes the rest of the morning. There weren’t any more little comments about what each other was wearing—or not wearing—the night before. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or not.

“What are you doing after school tonight?” Jenna asked at lunch that afternoon.

I shrugged. “Nothing, I guess.”

“Well, I know this afternoon is football practice, so you’ll be Jaden free for the day. We should do something.”

“Oh, I almost forgot, today’s chess club. I can’t do anything after school.” I twirled a fry in a puddle of ketchup on my plate.

“We could always do something after,” Jenna said, grabbing a fry off my tray.

“Maybe. I’ll have to see what time I get out of chess club. I’ll be right back. My bloodstream is severely depleted of caffeine.”

I jogged to my locker to get my afternoon dose of Red Bull. While I was walking back to the commons, I saw Brody talking to Jenna. She smiled and looked at me. Nodding her head, she said something to Brody. He went back to his seat and sat down, quickly glancing at me over his shoulder.

What the heck was that
?

I found out during independent study when Brody sat down next to me at our normal table in the back of the library. We were working separately on our homework. For some reason, the air seemed filled with tension. At least, I felt it. He seemed unaffected, as always.